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Search Results for "comparison" — 221 posts

What It Means to Live Life with Open Palms and How This Sets Us Free

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“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Roughly one year ago, I was having the time of my life.

Everything seemed to be going well. My stress levels were at an all-time low. I was enjoying myself in a new city. Work was engaging. My meditations were deep and fulfilling.

And when I looked back on things one year later, I was kind of, well, frustrated.

Because things haven’t been going that smoothly lately. Don’t get …

The Key to Happiness: Compare Less, Be More

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“Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people.” ~Unknown

Stepping off the bus I was in shock.

This tiny thing? With no doors in the doorways and no glass in the windows?

This little place? With walls that looked like they were lone survivors of war?

I would’ve been sure it was abandoned if it wasn’t for the hundreds of little footprints on trampled soil making up the floor of the school. A giant field with two erect logs on either side served as goals for what was supposed to be a gym. I always thought these …

When the Euphoria Fades: Dealing with the Highs and Lows of Love

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“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” ~Sam Keen

When we fall in love, we feel excited to experience some of the most joyful moments of our lives. Because love is supposed to be the source of the best feelings, right? But what about when that relationship churns up some hard stuff and leaves you feeling hurt, annoyed, sad, and irate?

For many of us, especially deep-feelers like me, when we start to experience these inevitable lows in our relationship, we may conclude that something is inherently wrong …

Recognizing the Strategic Manipulation of Financial Abuse

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“I have endured, I have been broken, I have known hardship, I have lost myself. But here I stand, still moving forward, growing stronger each day.” ~Unknown

There was a time, not so long ago, when I was struggling with the heavy hangover of financial abuse.

Did you know there was such a thing? I didn’t. I hadn’t a clue… until it happened to me.

But it turns out that financial abuse is incredibly common, and is often used as a tactic to keep a victim entangled in a relationship where other forms of abuse also take place.

When money …

Don’t Forget to Appreciate How Far You’ve Come

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“Remember how far you’ve come, not how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.” ~Rick Warren

We’re always talking about how we should live in the now and “be present.” We shame ourselves for looking back at the past or into the future, thinking that we shouldn’t look too far ahead or worry about what’s to come, and we shouldn’t get too caught up in events that have already happened. We want to be focused on being the best person we can be …

3 Things That Are Helping Me Deal with Stress, Pain, and Loss

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“Being on a spiritual path does not prevent you from facing times of darkness; but it teaches you how to use the darkness as a tool to grow.” ~Unknown

Life has not been kind lately.

My aunt passed away in October. She had been suffering from cancer, but her family kept the extent of her illness to themselves, and hence I did not have a chance to see her before she passed away. I felt bad about that.

My father followed her a month later, just after Thanksgiving. He had been ailing from Parkinson’s Disease, but his death as well …

Be Good to Yourself: 10 Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love

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“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown

It was one of those nights.

I was in a busy New York bar, having fun and enjoying myself. That was, until someone asked me: “So, what do you do?”

Within a few seconds my fun, happy, playful side vanished and in entered a girl full of doubts and insecurity.

The truth was… I had no freaking idea about what I was doing! I had just left my corporate job and now I was on a journey to …

9 Beliefs You Have to Let Go If You Want to Find Inner Peace

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“Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.” ~Adyashanti

I don’t know exactly when it happened.

It was probably about eighteen months ago, maybe a couple of years. I can’t really remember, and it doesn’t really matter.

I was up to my neck in stress, and having one of those days.

It was one of those days where you wake up late and your neck is a …

Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself On Sale for 99 Cents

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Hi friends! I’m pleased to announce that the eBook version of Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself has been selected for The Great Autumn eBook Sale, which is offering twelve powerful eBooks for just 99 cents each, from now until October 19th.

About Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself

Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself  shares forty unique perspectives and insights on topics related to loving yourself, including:

  • Realizing you’re not broken
  • Accepting your flaws
  • Releasing the need for approval
  • Forgiving yourself
  • Letting go of comparisons
  • Learning to be authentic

Featuring stories selected from hundreds of Tiny Buddha …

Guide to Loving Yourself

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Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself

Presents 40 unique perspectives and insights on topics related to loving yourself, including: realizing you're not broken, accepting your flaws, releasing the need for approval, forgiving yourself, letting go of comparisons, and learning to be authentic. Featuring stories selected from hundreds of tinybuddha.com contributors, the book provides an honest look at what it means to overcome critical, self-judging thoughts to create a peaceful, empowered life.

More Info
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Take a Chance: Don’t Let Your Inner Saboteur Hold You Back

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“’It’s impossible,’ said pride. ‘It’s risky,’ said experience. ‘It’s pointless,’ said reason. ‘Give it a try,’ whispered the heart.” ~Unknown

On my first day back in college, I sat on a bench outside a classroom and wrote in a tiny notebook. Glancing around at the young students lining up, my sunglasses slid down my nose as I hurriedly scribbled the thoughts buzzing around in my head.

“I’m afraid of being unprepared. I’m afraid of not being smart enough. I’m afraid of being left behind in the coursework. I’m afraid of giving up like I did last time.”

As evidenced in …

What Helps Me When I’m Tempted to Compare Myself to Others

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“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” ~Zen Shen

Wow, you’re a bit of a loser compared to this guy, aren’t you, Will?

He’s winning at life—great job, great house, obviously making better money than you.

I sigh deeply and continue scrolling.

He takes care of himself, no Buddha belly, unlike you.

It’s true. I begin to feel like a useless lump. I keep scrolling.

No yellow and crooked teeth, either.

“His teeth are pretty straight,” I think to myself, staring at the guy’s mouth on the screen.

Damn right, they’re …

Overcoming Envy: How to Stop Feeling Inferior and Insecure

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“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

If you are suffering from the painful sting of envy, know that you are not alone. I was there too, for a very long time. Envy can be a crippling emotion. For me it has been connected to my depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

It has been a very painful twenty years since my attachment to envy began, involving comparison, competition, judgment, harsh criticism of myself and others, in a never-ending, futile attempt to soothe my wounded ego.

I was constantly, obsessively, relentlessly afraid of being inadequate and inferior—to a classmate, …

Addicted to Helping: Why We Need to Stop Trying to Fix People

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“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

After college, I was hustling hard to get a work visa so that I could stay in the US.

But then my mom got caught up in a political scandal, and without much reflection on how much this would alter my life’s plans, I dropped my dream of staying in America, drove 1,000 miles, and flew another 500 to be by her side.

Would she have crumbled without me there? My mama is a tough chick, so I highly doubt it.

But …

How a Terrified, Socially Anxious Guy Became Relaxed and Confident

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“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ~Viktor Frankl

Life is hell… or so I thought for most of my thirty-four years.

My intense social anxiety, an over-the-top and uncontrollable fear of people and social situations, ruined much of my young life. I operated completely alone, living only inside my own head, without even realizing it.

Now, it’s rare that I’m too afraid to talk to anyone. And I face multiple difficult decisions, discussions, and even confrontations …

How to Boost Your Self-Worth: 7 Tips to Feel Better About Yourself

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“The more we see ourselves as a vibrant, successful, inspiring person who boldly declares and manifests her vision, the more we become just that.” ~Kristi Bowman

I was kind of a chunky kid growing up.

In my own little world of trolls and playwriting, I didn’t notice the chunk. I genuinely liked me. But when I entered the “real world” of opinions, people, and comparison, I began to realize or rather feel that perhaps my body wasn’t good enough.

This thought was like a seed that was then planted in my brain. And every time I thought about it, …

Break the Cycle: How to Stop Hurting Others When You Were Mistreated

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“What’s broken can be mended. What hurts can be healed. And no matter how dark it gets, the sun is going to rise again.” ~Unknown

I grew up with difficult and hurtful parents who spoke critically, with the intent to demean.

Each word of sarcasm, each thinly veiled joke or put-down undercut my self-esteem. Each knocked me down a rung in life and kept me from my potential.

Rampant comparisons to other Indian kids succeeding academically, attacks of my mediocre performance at school, and harsh language were my mother’s weapons of choice.

When someone attacks your self-esteem repeatedly, you …

3 Causes of Self-Doubt and How to Conquer It for Good

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“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~Unknown

Self-doubt and I are old friends. We go way back, to early childhood.

Now, if you ask me, I will honestly tell you that I had quite an idyllic childhood in a loving home.

My parents raised us—my brother and me—to trust in our abilities and aim for the stars. They held me when I failed or fell flat on my face, which I did quite often, encouraging me to stand up and keep walking again. And yes, self-doubt still made its way into …

Healing from Childhood Abuse: Get Help and Take Your Life Back

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“No one loses their innocence. It is either taken or given away willingly.” ~Tiffany Madison

Childhood innocence. When I think of it I always picture a baby lying on their back, playing with their feet. They are laughing, cooing, smiling, and lost in a sense of wonder. Full of joy, love, curiosity, and awe. When you look at them you can’t help but smile, and their joy and laughter are infectious. At this moment, they are perfect.

Now have all that taken …

6 Toxic Thoughts That Keep You Battling with Food

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“Eating is not a crime. It’s not a moral issue. It’s normal. It’s enjoyable. It just is.” ~Carrie Arnold

Like many women, I was introduced to diet “tricks” and “hacks” at a young age. In my case, that was around twelve to thirteen years old.

I consumed magazines and movies that constantly reminded me about the importance of dieting, losing weight, and looking skinny.

As a self-conscious teenager, I began to compare myself to the women in music videos with flat bellies, the slim actresses in movies, and models in magazines with their perfect “beach bodies.”

This self-consciousness only grew …