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Posts tagged with “beliefs”

How Unhealed Childhood Wounds Wreak Havoc in Our Adult Lives

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“The emotional wounds and negative patterns of childhood often manifest as mental conflicts, emotional drama, and unexplained pains in adulthood.” ~Unknown

I am a firm believer in making the unconscious conscious. We cannot influence what we don’t know about. We cannot fix when we don’t know what’s wrong.

I made many choices in my life that I wouldn’t have made had I recognized the unconscious motivation behind them, based on my childhood conditioning.

In the past, I beat myself up over my decisions countless times. Now I feel that I needed to make these choices and have these experiences so …

How to Break Painful Relationship Patterns

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“Until you heal your past, your life patterns and relationships will continue to be the same; it’s just the faces that change.” ~Unknown

First of all: honey, you are not broken. We are all works in process. There is nothing inherently wrong with you. We all end up in a loop here and there. Sometimes it’s because we haven’t healed pain from the past. And sometimes it’s because we’ve healed our pain but still hold on to past habits. When we do this, past habits will promote the replaying of past events and, therefore, the pain will return.

This …

What I Believe and Why My Life Is Better Because of It

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“Seeing is not believing; believing is seeing! You see things, not as they are, but as you are.” ~Eric Butterworth

I didn’t always understand this, but I now know that my beliefs shape my experience of the world.

As I learned from Tony Robbins, our beliefs guide our choices, which ultimately create our results.

Our beliefs can either be a prison, keeping us trapped in negative thinking and behaviors, or they can be empowering and lead to courageous action and new possibilities.

For example, if you believe people are fundamentally bad, you may live life guarded, close yourself off to …

How to Break Free from the Past and Start Feeling Good Enough

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“My biggest fear is that I’m not good enough. I have this voice in my head that I’ve been battling for years that says, ‘You’re not really talented enough. You don’t really deserve this.’ ” ~Rachel Platten

When we’re continually surrounded by unrealistic beauty standards in the media and highlight reels of others’ success on social media, it’s no surprise that many of us feel like we don’t measure up or fit the ideals of perfection.

At some point in our lives maybe we were rejected for the color of our skin, the shape of our bodies, or for the …

Why I No Longer Believe There’s Something Wrong with Me

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“Our thoughts create our beliefs, meaning if you think about yourself a certain way for a long enough period of time you will ultimately believe it.” ~Anonymous

You’re ugly. You’re stupid. You’re a loser.

Imagine thinking this way about yourself every day. No exaggeration. That was me.

When a girl didn’t want to go on a second date with me, I told myself I was ugly. When I didn’t know what someone was talking about, I told myself I was stupid. When my Instagram post only received two likes, I told myself I was loser.

I spoon-fed myself toxic …

9 Beliefs You Have to Let Go If You Want to Find Inner Peace

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“Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.” ~Adyashanti

I don’t know exactly when it happened.

It was probably about eighteen months ago, maybe a couple of years. I can’t really remember, and it doesn’t really matter.

I was up to my neck in stress, and having one of those days.

It was one of those days where you wake up late and your neck is a …

4 Simple Techniques to Erase Subconscious Negativity

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“As you sow in your subconscious mind, so shall you reap in your body and environment.” ~Joseph Murphy

The subconscious mind is like a computer’s hard drive.

It saves whatever information you feed it, without any bias. It does not discriminate between useful information and trash information. It just saves everything!

The subconscious mind learns through repetition. So if it’s fed the same information multiple times, it keeps overwriting it until the information gets etched in.

As you would have guessed, such information is harder to erase.

For example, let’s say you write “I am not good enough” on …

Think You’re Not Good Enough? How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

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“Stop holding yourself back. If you aren’t happy, make a change.” ~Unknown

Growing up in a culture where physical beauty determines how successful you are in finding a job, a suitable husband, and a promising career, and most importantly, bringing honor to your family reputation, I was a disappointment to my family, especially to my mother.

She was the definition of a perfect beauty—5’6″, slim, big eyes, high-bridged nose, perfect skin, and gifted with charisma. I was the opposite.

As I got older, my mother’s negative words got louder and louder. They were a constant reminder that I wasn’t good …

Your Anger is a Guide: Embrace It and Set Yourself Free

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“Where there is anger there is always pain underneath.” ~Eckhart Tolle

In the sixth year of marriage, my husband shocked me by telling me that he had decided on an open marriage. This would give him permission to do what he was already doing, having an affair.

In one of my rare times of anger I argued and struggled with him. I can still see myself hitting him in the chest as he tried to put his arms around me to reassure me of his love.

As he defended his position, he reminded me that I wasn’t being rational. I …

7 Lessons to Remember When Life Seems to Suck

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“I’m grateful for past betrayals, heartaches, and challenges… I thought they were breaking me; but they were sculpting me.” ~Steve Maraboli

I winced in pain as I climbed off the elliptical. This was one of the few times that I had ever set foot into a gym. And it was out of necessity rather than choice.

That necessity came from chronic lower back and leg pain, which I had been living with for the better part of six months. At the time, I didn’t know it would end up being just chronic, idiopathic pain.

All I knew was that it …

You Have to Know You’re Worthy to Attract a Healthy Relationship

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“Your problem is you’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness.” ~Ram Dass

Three years ago I went through a breakup with someone I loved deeply.

I had no idea what had happened to me after I fell in love with this girl. I now know that I was asleep from the beginning to the very end of the relationship.

I was totally encapsulated with this girl to the point where I could not see what was in front of me. I was unable to see the red flags that were there in the beginning.

When I first laid eyes on …

6 Lessons to Remember When Someone Judges or Criticizes You

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“Every judgment, all of them, point back to a judgment we hold against ourselves.” ~Lynne Forrest

I sat across from my good friend Anna over a cup of coffee. We had been having issues in our friendship and had finally gotten together to discuss them. I’m not a fan of conflict and call myself a “recovering people pleaser,” so I was very nervous.

I noticed immediately that the conversation didn’t seem to be going very well. I addressed my issues concerning our friendship and tried hard to own my part. But Anna kept saying things like, “There are …

Coping with Loss and Heartbreak: How to Get Through the Pain

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“The unendurable is the beginning of the curve of joy.” ~Djuna Barnes

November, 2014. A story you’ve heard a million times. The person I believed with all my heart to be “the one” ceased to feel the same way about me.

My heart and soul shattered, I had no desire to live, the whole works.

Having your heart broken, especially by someone you truly loved is, from my perspective, the worst kind of pain there is. It makes you lose all sense of self, reality, purpose, and faith. To me, it felt like my soul was being severed …

Beware of Any Belief or Ideology That Promotes Separation

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Source: Project Happiness

10 Powerful Practices to Take Good Care of Yourself

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“You don’t pass or fail at being a person, dear.” ~Neil Gaiman

I discovered my spiritual path early. As a teenager I would read my mother’s self-help books. I spent most of my twenties actively pursuing self-development by studying, attending workshops, and going on retreats all over the world.

At the time, I thought I was searching for happiness and inner peace. I see now that I bought into a rigid idea of what a ‘spiritual person’ was and tried to live up to that.

My inner world was not happy or peaceful. The way I treated myself was far …

Open-Minded People

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Source: The Mind Unleashed

5 Things That Stop You from Achieving Your Goals and How to Overcome Them

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“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.” ~Oprah Winfrey

I’ll never forget being filled with utter disappointment as I watched my mum cross the finish line at the Paris marathon. I should have been celebrating her achievement. Instead, all I felt was regret for not crossing the finish line alongside her.

I had set myself the goal of running a marathon and invited my mum along for the …

Why We Should Never Force Our Spiritual Beliefs on Other People

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“A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.” ~John Steinbeck

Around six years ago I started to meditate. I had a spiritual awakening, and life started to look really different.

I have always been a feeler and reader of emotion, but this was different. It was like I was synchronized with everyone around me, as if everyone else was connected to me in some strange and mysterious way.

It later …

5 Beliefs That Hurt Your Relationships (And How to Let Them Go)

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“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.” ~Tony Robbins

“I’m not great at relationships.” This is something I used to say all the time, to others and myself.

I’d had quite a few unhealthy friendships that ended in dramatic showdowns when our combined issues proved toxic.

My romantic relationships weren’t any less volatile—largely because my deep-seated shame affected the type of men I attracted and compromised my ability to be there, with and for others.

But even after making significant progress with my insecurities and working through some painful experiences from my past, I realized I …

7 Ways to Learn from Your Negative Thoughts

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“The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.” ~Plutarch

I remember when I first learned about positive thinking. I was to observe my thoughts, then sort them into “useful” and “not useful.”

This made sense to me, and it surprised me how many “not useful” thoughts I encountered. On a daily basis, I was telling myself that I was not good enough, that things could never work out, and that I was on the verge of being fired from my job.

“Not useful, not useful,” my mind kept repeating. And yet the …