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Posts tagged with “breakup”

When You Reframe Your Breakup as an Opportunity, Everything Changes

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“Sometimes the most uncomfortable learning is the most powerful.” ~Brené Brown

Seems impossible, doesn’t it?

How can you look at your breakup as an opportunity when it feels like someone cut your right arm off and ripped out your heart?

Breakups can be rough. When you open yourself up to another person, love them unconditionally, and compromise your own needs for the “betterment of the relationship,” you put yourself all-in. It’s no surprise that you feel lost, confused, and unwilling to move on when that connection is torn away from you. You gave everything to your relationship and now it’s …

Why I Got Caught Up in the Drama of an On-and-Off Relationship

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“One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up instead of what they have to gain.” ~Rick Godwin

Dave and I met earlier this January. I was immediately attracted to his aquamarine eyes and his tattoos. I met him on the eve of my twenty-sixth birthday and, based on our interaction, I assumed we’d have a casual fling. Things didn’t end that simply, to my surprise.

When we were lying in bed together that first night, holding hands, he turned to me and asked if there was any chance we could get to …

Healing, Forgiving, and Loving After a Painful Break Up

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“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do.” ~Anonymous

About five years ago, I learned the biggest lesson of my life about self-love and losing oneself in a relationship, through a breakup that almost killed me.

After going through another night of three hours of sleep, I drove myself to the ER to save my own life. I hadn’t eaten or slept much in three weeks, and the scale pointed to ninety-seven pounds. I felt weak, malnourished, and unloved.

Three weeks …

The Top 7 Reasons We Stay in Bad Relationships

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“Some of us think that holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” ~Hermann Hesse

She knew it sooner than I did. And more intensely than I did.

I, on the other hand, may have considered our differences but never thought of them as deal-breakers. I tried to justify the many struggles we had between us and believed that our marriage could work despite the challenges.

I had this feeling things would get better and stayed hopeful no matter how bad our relationship got.

I told myself that her extraverted personality and my more introversion could …

Easing a Broken Heart: 5 Ways to Reframe Rejection

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“When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start to happen.” ~Zig Ziglar

The end of a relationship triggers many grief emotions, but when a couple breaks up because one person decides that it’s over, there is a very distinct pain: the sting of rejection. It doesn’t matter whether things had been difficult for some time or if the split came out of the blue; either way, rejection feels cruel.

At the end of my marriage eight years ago, I had no idea that the breakup was coming. On top of the shock that the relationship was …

He Left, But I Will Not Give Up On Myself

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“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do. “ ~Brené Brown

He just left our home.

After eighteen years together, fifteen of them being married, he left as we had planned, as we had gently and lovingly discussed.

We are on a break, a trial separation. What you hear about separation and divorce is all so achingly true. It feels like a death, a chasm where all the worst feelings imaginable pile in on you, where you can’t quite breathe right.

The pain is visceral—like someone …

What Helped Me Move On After Being Cheated On

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“Sometimes walking away is the only option because you finally respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better.” ~Unknown

When I was cheated on, I was hit by an ongoing blizzard of conflicting emotions.

There were the initial tears that I failed to hide from anyone. There was a cold ruthlessness as I told her that I couldn’t be with her after what she did. There was a wave of misery, there was a wave of anger, and all of it was dotted with periodic moments of calm and even gratitude that she was finally out of my life.…

Why Failed Relationships Aren’t Actually Failures: 5 Lessons on Love That Doesn’t Last

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“Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” ~Lord Alfred Tennyson

I’ve always loved relationships—the euphoria of early romance, the comfort of built intimacy, and the experience of adventuring through life with someone else. While there are some pretty snazzy parts of being single, I was a sucker for love from a young age.

Now, I also didn’t meet my fiancé until I was thirty—which means I’ve seen my share of the romantic downside as well. With the highs of love come the lows of romantic breakdown: heartache, loss, and the grief of …

A 7-Step Plan for Finding Love After a Devastating Breakup

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“Resilience in love means finding strength from within that you can share with others.” ~Sheryl Sandberg

It took me a couple months to start repairing my broken heart after the toughest breakup of my life. I thought we were going to spend our lives together, but the gods of love had other plans.

After I’d grieved in healthy (and not-so-healthy ways) I knew I could take two paths: stay stuck in my misery or pick myself up, dust off my sadness, and make a plan to move on.

And now it’s time for you to move on and find love …

Why I Thanked My Ex and Now Appreciate the Heartbreak

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“How thankful I am today, to know that all my past struggles were necessary for me to be where I am now.” ~Unknown

I met my ex-boyfriend, let’s call him Derek, through work. We were introduced through mutual co-workers, and then we hit it off and began dating.

We had a connection right away, partly based on physical attraction, but also we laughed a lot together, and I felt cared for by him.

We lived in different cities at the time, but would see each other every other weekend. We dated this way for a year and then talked …

3 Limiting Beliefs That Make It Hard to Get Over Your Ex

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“The broken hearted are the bravest among us—they dare to love.” ~Brené Brown, Rising Strong

Are you finished grieving your breakup and want to get over your ex once and for all?

Don’t get me wrong. Grieving is important. Actually, it’s imperative.

But there is such thing as grieving for too long. When we get stuck in a downward spiral of negativity it gets harder and harder to get out. Our guilt over the way things turned out and regret over what could have been become heavy burdens to carry.

I was there last year. After the toughest breakup …

What to Do After a Breakup: A Brief Guide for the Newly Single

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“Even in the loneliest moments I have been there for myself.” ~Sanober Khan

Last year, I decided to leave my boyfriend, who I had a loving and wonderful relationship with. I left for logistical reasons. I didn’t like the city I lived in or my job. But my boyfriend was happy there, so he stayed and I left.

The world doesn’t prepare you for a broken heart. There aren’t benefits you can apply for when the person who’s been beside you for years one day isn’t. The reality is that unless you’re married, people understand your feelings for a …

Love Hurts: Buddhist Advice for the Heartbroken – Interview and Book Giveaway

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Note – The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are:

  • Jennifer Moore Hardesty
  • Margie Lynn
  • Dr. Mac
  • Ryan
  • RB
  • Justme
  • Rogério Cardoso
  • Fernanda Garza
  • Benjamin E. Nichols
  • Terri Cross

When you’re dealing with heartbreak, it can feel like the pain will never go away.

You may know, intellectually, that everything heals with time, but in that moment, when you’re suffering, it’s hard to hold onto hope.

Like all humans, I’ve experienced my fair share of loss, and I’ve felt scared, depressed, alone, betrayed, rejected, regretful, and angry—with other people, with myself, and with the world.

Losing someone or …

Sometimes a Breakup Is a Gain, Not a Loss

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The Two Biggest Mistakes Newly Single People Make

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“Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other.” ~Russ von Hoelscher

If you’re single right now, this is your moment. And by single I mean not dating, not sleeping with people, and not engaged in romantic mingling of any kind. I mean truly single.

When we’re truly single we have a chance to transform like never before. We have the opportunity to face into our pain, transmute it, and turn our heartbreak into our greatest lesson.

Two of …

When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Past Relationships

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“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat- Zinn

Over the years I’ve talked to a lot of people about that one love, the one who got away, the one who it didn’t work out with, the one with whom the timing was bad.

I’ve had these conversations with people from all age groups, including people in their seventies. I’ve had my own journey with all of the above as I traveled toward finding a life partner.

It seems whether you stay together or not you’ll likely be in each other’s minds for quite some …

What to Do After a Breakup to End Painful Relationship Patterns

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“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” ~Unknown

After my kids grew up and I moved to the city from the suburbs, I became somewhat of a professional dater. I was determined to make up for lost time after over a decade as a single mom, and I was optimistic about my future.

My hopes were dashed almost immediately. Relationship after relationship crashed and burned, rarely lasting more than a few weeks. As soon as they’d walk out the door, sometimes within minutes, I’d fire up whatever dating website I was on at …

To Fully Heal Your Broken Heart, Make Sure You Do This

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“Grief is healthy and it is healing.” ~Richard Moss

When I was a little girl there was this belief floating around in my head that there was only one person. One person who was my soulmate. One person who could love me. I think the belief was formed by some concoction of Disney movies, religion, and American culture.

What’s worse than this belief is that I somehow found myself afraid that I wouldn’t even have one person. I was afraid I would be alone. Forever.

I don’t know when I adopted the belief that I wasn’t enough, that I …

5 Things You Need to Tell Yourself After a Painful Breakup

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Have you ever experienced a breakup or divorce but still loved the other person you were saying goodbye to?

I met my ex-girlfriend on a rooftop in Istanbul. I had just sold everything I owned to travel the world, and she was a tour leader in Asia.

She was everything I had been searching for: beautiful, confident, and funny. I followed her to India and China. She followed me to Australia. When the money and visas ran out, we moved back to Canada, found an apartment, got a cat, and shared a strong, healthy relationship for over five years.

And …

Dealing with Rejection: It Doesn’t Mean That You’re Not Good Enough

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“The best way out is always through” ~Robert Frost

I was trembling as I hung up the phone. He’d dumped me.

It was as if, while I was watching a murder mystery at the edge of my seat, the electricity had gone out. Poof! I wasn’t going to get to see the end of the movie, and I had no control over when the lights would come back on.

I felt the fangs of rejection sink into my heart like a merciless tarantula. My mind, which is normally going 500 miles an hour, came to a halt. Suddenly I felt …