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Posts tagged with “failure”

Why I Won’t Let the Fear of Failure Hold Me Back

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“Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~Winston Churchill

I am scared of sharks. Often when I’m floating in the ocean on my surfboard, amazed at the vastness before me and my relative smallness in the world, my mind drifts toward what may be lurking below.

I know that I am more likely to get injured during the car ride to the beach or get struck by lightning when I get there than be attacked by a shark. I also know that, according to the US Consumer Product Safety Commission …

It’s Okay to ‘Fail’ on Your Way to Finding What You Want to Do

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“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~George Bernard Shaw

I would say it’s a safe assumption that most people aren’t quite sure what they’re doing.

What do I mean? I mean that most individuals—whether they look polished and presentable or haphazardly have their life thrown together—are generally playing a game called “life.” And they’re trying the best they can.

In other words, we’re all capable and have all experienced the highs and lows of what life has to offer. Unfortunately, that’s just part of the human experience. To try to ride the highs while avoiding the …

Seeing Rejection As Redirection: What We Gain When We Lose

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“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” ~Steve Maraboli

Rejection hurts. Whether it is from family, friends, co-workers, or a new company, when we experience rejection it hits us right in the heart—the control center to our emotions.

We may wonder, what is wrong with me? We might begin pulling ourselves apart with self-criticism. However, rejection also has a way of teaching us, redirecting us, and ultimately making our lives better.

I have learned to look at rejection differently these past couple of years. Actually, many of …

Why Failed Relationships Aren’t Actually Failures: 5 Lessons on Love That Doesn’t Last

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“Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” ~Lord Alfred Tennyson

I’ve always loved relationships—the euphoria of early romance, the comfort of built intimacy, and the experience of adventuring through life with someone else. While there are some pretty snazzy parts of being single, I was a sucker for love from a young age.

Now, I also didn’t meet my fiancé until I was thirty—which means I’ve seen my share of the romantic downside as well. With the highs of love come the lows of romantic breakdown: heartache, loss, and the grief of …

Failing Doesn’t Make You a Failure (and You Can Still Succeed)

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“Remember that failure is an event, not a person.” ~Zig Ziglar

Take a second and imagine little you. running around like the little ragamuffin you were. Imagine as far back as you can—back when you were first able to comprehend feedback from parents, teachers, or whatever other authorities were around.

When considering the cause of low self-esteem, the most obvious answers fall under the umbrella of past abuses or failures: a parent who demanded straight A’s, an abusive spouse, etc. These are common forms of mistreatment that cause some people’s self-esteem to tank.

But for those who’ve lived fairly easy …

Failure Is Part of Creating a Great Life

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You’re Not a Failure, Keep Going

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7 Common Fears That Don’t Have to Control Us

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“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson

As babies, we know nothing about the world. In the universe of an infant, there are no norms to follow, no rigid rules and regulations; no room for labeling or judging ourselves and others. We don’t yet know to disapprove of ourselves, and we’re curious to play, learn, and grow.

We are all born free spirits. Then our environment—our families, schools, religions, and political systems—shape the way we think and behave.

Fear is a learned practice. Children generally are not afraid of trying, failing, …

5 Ways Failure Can Be a Blessing in Disguise

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“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~ Dalai Lama

Recently I received some “bad” news: After years of studying and a nerve-wracking exams procedure, I didn’t make it to the list of the lucky few selected for the upper level public administration job posts.

Having always tried to keep up with a job that made good use of my law degree, while at the same time pursuing my career as a writer, there were times when I questioned whether a law-related job was actually my true calling.

At the time, trying for …

Finding a New Path When You’re Attached to the Old and Scared of Failing

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“All endings are just beginnings. We just don’t know it yet.” ~Mitch Albom

The difficulty of finding, let alone staying on a path was brought to mind recently when I got lost in a maze at a children’s amusement park. Seriously lost.

In the end I scrambled under the maze to get out. I didn’t like the feeling of hitting up against walls, turning and trying, and then finding another wall blocking my path. Mazes are designed to confuse, and together with the summer heat, I’d had enough.

As I came out from under the fence, someone jokingly called out …

One Simple Word That Can Change Your Life (And No, It’s Not “Thanks”)

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“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” ~Epictetus

About nine years back I was at the lowest point of my life.

We had been trying to start a family for close to four years by that point.

The forty-plus consecutive months of “not pregnant” verdict were starting to take their toll on me. That second line on the pregnancy test strip seemed like it would never appear. Life felt like it was a never-ending cycle of false hope that was always crushed in the end.

I wouldn’t wish that kind of despair on …

Pushing Yourself to Try When You’re Afraid of Failing

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“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” ~Beverly Sills

Before I became a teenager, I developed a characteristic and a disease that went hand-in-hand: I was a perfectionist, and I had an eating disorder.

While my perfectionism was helpful in succeeding at things such as school and sports, the same perfectionism helped to fuel a dangerous relationship with my own body.

Fortunately, I received treatment in high school, and I learned to handle my issues related to anorexia and bulimia in healthy ways. This process was neither easy nor simple, but …

Overcoming Shame When You Took a Risk and It Didn’t Work Out

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“Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don’t be sorry.” ~Jack Kerouac

There was no denying it. I had reached a dead-end. A year and a half spent living in a southern town that was simply too small for me; it was time to go. I needed a city, preferably a large one filled with numerous opportunities for a budding young writer.

Ironically, the very day it dawned on me that it was time to move to a metropolitan area, love summoned me. It shouted to me from thousands of miles away, beckoning me to change the course of my travels.

My …

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome So You Can Thrive and Shine

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“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” ~Marianne Williamson

I’ve been dreaming about dead bodies again—disposing of dead bodies. Given that I have never actually killed anyone it’s probably a little weird how often this crops up for me. My dream metaphors tend to be blatant and graphic. I think my subconscious mind really wants me to pay attention to them.

I don’t have recurrent dreams per se, but I do get recurring dream themes. Lately my subconscious has been knocking me over the head with …

How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Over the Little Things

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“You are perfect just as you are and you could use a little improvement.” ~Shunryu Suzuki-roshi

A few weeks ago, I had a day that I felt like an utter failure.

I had eaten junk food even though I was trying to get healthy. I’d skipped out on going to the gym for no good reason. I forgot to call my parents even though I promised them I would. I didn’t meet my daily writing goals and ended up watching two movies I’d already seen.

In other words, I slid into a lot of bad habits all at once.

I …

When Following Your Dreams Results in Failure After Failure

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“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyone tells you to chase your dreams and follow your passion. At some point, you’re brave and full of hope and decide to do it—quit your job, become an artist, apply for that dream job, and change your lifestyle.

It’s wonderful and empowering and exciting and all those things that make living worthwhile.

But what happens when you fail? When quitting your job left you broke, no one wants to publish your work, and your dream job …

Forget “Should” and Live the Life You Want to Live

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“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was a time when I “had it all.”

I was in my tenth year of teaching in a small, rural school. I lived with my husband and daughter in a four-bedroom house in a subdivision in the woods. Life was routine, predictable, and secure. We made plans to fix up the house and figured that I would likely work in my job until retirement.

However, two things got in the way of those plans.

First, I felt …

3 Things That Can Help You Bounce Back from Failure

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“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

The year was 2011 and I had been working as customer relations officer in a private healthcare firm for three years. It was as boring as it sounds, and I had been planning my escape toward self-employment for around a year by working in the evenings as a personal trainer.

I imagined that on the final day I’d exit the office for the last time in a blaze of happiness and jubilation, thrilled that I’d finally taken …

5 Dos and Don’ts for Surviving a Hard Time

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“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” ~Stephen Covey

My partner was a well-respected bank manager in a small country town. He was rising through the bank hierarchy with good prospects for further promotion. We were thought of as a happy, close-knit family that contributed in every way we could to the local community.

Unbeknownst to us, the bank was conducting a re-assessment of their country branches. Several of the smaller banks would close and all staff would be dismissed.

Frightening words were on our lips—redundancy, fear of …

The Truth About Failure: How Hitting Hurdles Makes You Successful

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“There are no failures. Just experiences and your reactions to them.” ~Tom Krause

I had spent years training for this race. This was the big one. If I won and made the qualifying time, I would go on to compete in the Canadian National Track and Field Championships.

I was burning to win. Only the winner of this race would qualify. Second place wouldn’t cut it.

Competing at the national level could lead to all kinds of opportunities: sponsorship, athletic scholarships, and a career in athletics.

My favorite form of self-torture was the 110-meter hurdles. I lived and breathed sprinting …