Posts tagged with “feelings”
A First Aid Kit for When Life Falls Apart
“What if pain—like love—is just a place brave people visit?” ~Glennon Doyle
It’s one of life’s greatest paradoxes: When life is easy, everything seems easy. When life is hard, everything seems hard.
This one keeps coming back to me and I keep trying to figure it out. Why do we end up in these spirals of “all good” or “all bad”? How can we get out of the “all bad” faster next time we get trapped? How can we help ourselves get out of there?
I’ve had periods in my life when all seemed lost. When I haven’t been able …
Making the Hurt Visible: How I Stopped Hating the Man and Learned to Listen to Myself
“Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.” ~Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
We’ve just passed the year anniversary of an event that has greatly changed our country. The shock of the election results last year sent waves of powerful emotions rippling through our nation.
Personally, I felt the effects as intense and immediate grief. It was as though I had just lost my dearest companion.
I had days of shock, despair, feelings of intense cold with physical shaking and episodes of vomiting and nausea, followed by weeks of sleepless nights, spontaneous sweating, nightmares …
Honesty Is a Gift, So We Don’t Have to Hide Our True Feelings
“Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” ~Benjamin Disraeli
I’ll never forget my progress report from third grade: “Jennifer shows disappointment when she’s not called on.”
This must have been a bad thing, because my mother sat me down to talk about it. Apparently, when I raised my hand and wasn’t called on, I frowned. I was to work on that, to try to stay neutral, to not show I was upset.
I also clearly remember the day my dad came over to my mom’s house to tell me his father, my grandfather, …
7 Misconceptions That Keep You from Achieving Peace of Mind
“There is no greater wealth in this world than peace of mind.” ~Unknown
Achieving (and keeping) peace of mind is high on my priority list, yet my choices didn’t always reflect this, particularly when it pertained to my work.
Over time, I realized that I needed to change to live a more peaceful life.
If you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and frustrated, it may be time to bust a few misapprehensions. Here are a few of the main ones that compromised my peace of mind.
1. Money will make me happy.
I formerly considered money and material possessions to be …
5 Ways Journaling Can Help You Get Through the Hard Stuff
“In the journal I do not just express myself more openly than I could to any person; I create myself. The journal is a vehicle for my sense of selfhood. It represents me as emotionally and spiritually independent. Therefore (alas) it does not simply record my actual, daily life but rather—in many cases—offers an alternative to it.” ~Susan Sontag
My first journal was born into existence when I was twelve. I remember carefully choosing my favorite comics, pictures from magazines, and the odd scribble I’d drawn. Tongue stuck out in concentration, gluing them strategically on an unused exercise book. …
4 Tips for Raising Happy, Emotionally Healthy Children
“Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages.” ~Daniel Goleman
I consider myself an expert on the emotional needs of children. Mostly because I was one.
No one goes into parenthood anticipating the ways they will psychologically damage their children. At least I don’t think they do. I hope not. It’s far more likely that most go into parenthood wanting the best for their children, hoping to do more for them than their own parents were able to do.
So, why is …
How We Avoid Our Feelings and How Embracing Them Sets Us Free
“We numb our minds and heart so one need not be broken and the other need not be bothered.” ~Peggy Haymes
Feelings are important, no doubt about it. They communicate all sorts of information to us. I don’t know about you, but I’ve preferred to ignore some of that information. Raise your hand if you would much rather feel the good feelings and just jump right over the not so good ones.
Okay, so it’s unanimous. We all prefer the good, happy feelings. I expect we are all experts at finding ways to avoid the uncomfortable ones. But …
How to Deal with Painful Emotional Triggers in Your Relationships
“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” ~Unknown
I’ve been looking for a new job, so I recently decided to update my resume.
“Hun, can you please help me with that?”
“Of course, my love.”
“Thanks, babe.”
Not only did my wife help me revamp my resume, she drafted me a killer cover letter as well.
“You’re the best, babe!”
“Happy to help, sweetie.”
I opened the cover letter the other day and found a discrepancy, something that immediately touched my deepest core wound.
There, at the bottom of the page, where my name, …
Gratitude: The Antidote for Painful Feelings and Fuel for Happiness
“The struggle ends when the gratitude begins.” ~Neale Donald Walsch
The longer I travel on my journey, the more I realize that gratitude is the universal antidote to painful feelings. In fact, it’s the quickest route I know to happiness, which makes it a good idea to be grateful all day long.
However, when we are in a low mood or something knocks us off course, it can be easy to forget just how many amazing things there are in our lives to be grateful for, even just in one single day. It’s as if a setback erases our …
A Surprising Way to Let Go of Painful Feelings and the Past
“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” ~Marianne Williamson
I’ve struggled with it.
Letting go, I mean. I’ve struggled with moving on from my past. I’ve struggled with ridding myself of guilt, shame, and grief. I’ve struggled with freeing myself from mistakes, past relationships, and worries about the future.
It’s not that I haven’t tried. Believe me, I’ve tried really hard. I’ve written goodbye letters, mentally cut the energetic cords, and fiercely gone back into the pain to free myself fully from it. I’ve cried my eyes …
It’s Okay to Cry
“We need never be ashamed of our tears.” ~Charles Dickens
We have all cried, all of us, some more than others.
But today I am not here to divide us by the liters of tears we have shed.
Today I want to unite us because we are all the same.
We all feel sad, stressed, overwhelmed, scared, and frustrated at times.
Any stay-at-home parent would understand my frustration, my misery, and my overwhelmed days.
It has eaten me up on the inside. I have been staying at home for the past seven years, looking after my kids, with no face-to-face …
Why We Need to Stop Judging Our Feelings
“Your emotions are meant to fluctuate, just like your blood pressure is meant to fluctuate. It’s a system that’s supposed to move back and forth, between happy and unhappy. That’s how the system guides you through the world.” ~Daniel Gilbert
As a highly sensitive person I experience emotions very deeply, though it’s not usually obvious to others that I’m having such strong internal reactions.
For those not familiar with this trait, high sensitivity is not a defect or a personality flaw; it simply means that you experience sensory and emotional input more strongly than non-sensitive people.
Of course, this …
You Are Not Responsible for Anyone Else’s Emotions
“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” ~Eckhart Tolle
“I don’t believe you,” I jutted out my chin like a petulant toddler. Collapsing back into the tufted leather loveseat, I conceded, “I want to believe you, but I can’t.”
My therapist had just explained to me that I am not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions. My mind couldn’t process this truth.
There were too many decades of owning the moods of those around me.
In my younger years, if a parent was stressed, I felt it was up to me to calm them down. …
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