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Posts tagged with “forgive”

Healing, Forgiving, and Loving After a Painful Break Up

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“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do.” ~Anonymous

About five years ago, I learned the biggest lesson of my life about self-love and losing oneself in a relationship, through a breakup that almost killed me.

After going through another night of three hours of sleep, I drove myself to the ER to save my own life. I hadn’t eaten or slept much in three weeks, and the scale pointed to ninety-seven pounds. I felt weak, malnourished, and unloved.

Three weeks …

Forgive Often and Love with All Your Heart

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How Forgiving Yourself and Others Changes Your Brain

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“Be quick to forgive, because we’re all walking wounded.” ~Anonymous

People often behave in ways that we find irritating, annoying, or worse. This can happen especially with people close to us.

They can speak with little consideration for the impact of their words. They can criticize us and pounce on our mistakes. Sometimes they do unfair things that seriously disadvantage or damage us. Or they let us down when we’re counting on them.

All these behaviors can lead to us feeling wounded. The scars can persist for years or even decades. The closer the offenders are to us, the greater …

It’s Possible to Forgive Them and Not Want to Spend Time with Them

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The One Realization That Helped Me Forgive Myself and My Father

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“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
~Maya Angelou

Sunlight shone through the living room window. A lazy Sunday afternoon. I lounged on the couch reading a book with my dog cuddled at my feet. My love had just set out to purchase a new set of acoustic guitar strings. Soon he would return, and music would fill our home, adding to my sense of blissful peace.

The telephone rang. I could see from the caller ID it was my father. “Good,” I thought. “It’s been a few weeks. I wonder …

The Problem with Forgiveness and What I Now Do Instead

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“Change is the end result of all true learning.” ~Leo Buscaglia

I cringe writing this. I have eaten so much humble pie that my pants don’t fit. This was a really hard lesson to learn.

I had a forgiveness problem.

When I was a kid, I learned to say sorry when I messed up and forgive other people when they did. With three sisters all two years apart, I got plenty of practice in as a kid (we all did).

It was a pretty standard routine:

1. Someone would mess up—say something horrible, lose something, break something, or hit someone.…

The 10 Most Important Things We Can Do for the People We Love

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People. Life is all about people.

We don’t have to have a ton of relationships, but we all need people in our lives who get us. Who’ve seen our freak flag countless times and love when it comes out.

People who tag us on memes that capture our spirit, or Tasty videos they know we’d drool over. People who text us with random pictures of bumper stickers or book covers or bath mats or beard accessories with a note that reads “Saw this and thought of you.”

We all need these kind of close connections to feel a sense of …

Forgive Everyone

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Why I Forgave My Father and How It Set Me Free

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“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” ~Bryant H. McGill

The day I chose to forgive was the day I became free

It happened on an ordinary weekday. It was just another ride on a crowded train. It’s been years since it happened, yet I can still recall the faintest details of that moment.

There they were, sitting directly across from me. She pulled out a small mirror and began to apply her lipstick. He playfully nudged her, causing her to mess up. She got mad. He laughed. She couldn’t help but smile despite …

I Never Knew How Strong I Was Until…

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Forgive Yourself and Begin Again Right Now

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Forgive Everyone

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How I Forgave What I Couldn’t Forget

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“Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that their behavior was ‘OK.’ What it does mean is that we’re ready to move on. To release the heavy weight. To shape our own life, on our terms, without any unnecessary burdens. Forgiveness is pure freedom—and forgiveness is a choice.” ~Dr. Suzanne Gelb

I remember the feeling of blood rushing through my veins, my head pounding, and my heart beating faster. Every time I remembered what happened, I either cried or felt a wave of depression. This guy was someone who’d hurt me in a way that I never thought would happen. His deeds …

Forgiveness Isn’t Weakness – Don’t Let Anger Hold You Back and Weigh You Down

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“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” ~Gandhi

For many years forgiveness was not in my mind, let alone my vocabulary. I was taught to believe that forgiveness was a sign of weakness, and I certainly did not forgive anyone who hurt me.

In the past, I have engaged in acts of revenge, which I thought was the right thing to do at those times. I was wrong.

One event that springs to my mind was when I was the target of a cruel prank. A group of guys had taunted a young man …

You Never Know How Much Time You Have, So Forgive While You Can

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“Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.” ~Corrie ten Boom

I sat next to my stepmother Elaine in her hospital room. I was thirteen. We’d met six years prior as she took a stepmother’s role and had a strained relationship and didn’t speak to each other for parts of it.

Elaine was facing terminal brain cancer. So far she had kept herself together and composed, remaining strong on the outside. I was trying my hardest to do the same for her.

It had all started back when I was seven and my dad took …

How to Forgive When You Don’t Think You Can

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“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~Steve Maraboli

Have you ever had a relationship, friendship, or marriage that ended so badly it took years, a decade, or even longer to heal? Have you ever wished you could forgive someone but just didn’t think it was possible?

Fifteen years ago I was twenty-six and in a relationship with a man that was destructive. After an intense romance in his home country, I made the poor decision that he should …

9 Ways to Silence Self-Criticism and Embrace Self-Love

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“I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.” ~John Green

Do you ever wonder if that voice in your head is right?

Do you re-live events, scouring through every detail to look for places where you went wrong in your actions?

Do you ever walk away from a conversation with your inner voice ranting that you should have done better—that you should have said this or that instead?

That self-critical voice became a prominent friend of mine. I called it the gremlin. The gremlin leapt onto my shoulder after every conversation with …

10 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion and Overcome Your Shame

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“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.” ~Kristin Neff

I consider myself to be a very compassionate person, but I’ve struggled a great deal with self-compassion. Though I’ve now been sober for over six years, back when I was drinking I made a lot of mistakes, and it’s taken …

Why I Forgave My Cruel, Abusive Father

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“It’s not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it sets you free.” ~Tyler Perry

I still remember the day when I told my mother that I no longer wanted to be at home. I’d had enough of so much pain and sorrow, and the constant yelling. Soon after, I watched my mother cry bitterly as she made the decision to get a divorce.

I was ten years old at the time.

My father had always been a very strict man, who used to believe that …

What It Means to Love

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