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Posts tagged with “Happiness”

Learning and Unlearning: A Journey of Self-Acceptance

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“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” ~Buddha

A teacher of mine once said, “Don’t show up as the person you think you are. Show up as the person you want to be.”

A powerful statement, but I didn’t know who I wanted to be. Even if I did, I wasn’t sure if I could pull it off.

I knew who I didn’t want to be: self-critical, self-conscious, and always focusing on my shortcomings. I wanted to learn how to get out of my own way.

For a long time, I …

5 Ways to Find Your Balance

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“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton

The yoga class I attended yesterday included a number of balance posts, from simple tree pose to a “floating” ardha chandrasana. I am not certain why, but I was struggling to find a steady balance on one side.

I arrived late feeling flustered, and my mind was spinning and worrying as we worked our way into the flow. I had to struggle to make my gaze steady, and I was starting to beat myself up for the wobbling on my left leg.

Then I …

Tiny Wisdom: On Risks

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“It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult.” ~Seneca

Taking the path of least resistance actually requires a lot of resistance. It’s human nature to want to soar! To venture out, explore the world, expand ourselves and our minds and live with passion, enthusiasm, and abandon.

You might be doing that already, whatever that means to you. Or you may be containing yourself into a safe, predictable box, assuming everything outside it is far beyond your reach.

It’s not—it’s not nearly as far away as you think.…

On Fearing Change: When It’s Time to Take a Leap of Faith

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“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~Unknown

There are two basic human emotions that are the driving force behind each thought, each daily inspiration, and that rare but pivotal new-chapter, life-changing decision. Those things are fear and love.

The funny thing, however, is that they are intertwining forces. In order to feel passionately about something, fear and love must coexist.

One year ago I made what some people would consider an irrational decision. I had a great job, …

Tiny Wisdom: On Appreciation

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“Appreciation is an excellent thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us, as well.” -Voltaire

There’s work to do. And things to accomplish. And places to get to. And people to please.

There’s futures to create. And pasts to forget. And an endless string of days full of hours to be filled. We often spend then running, fantasizing, or waiting, hoping it eventually turns into something good enough. Something worth valuing, something worth appreciating, something worth enjoying.

If we’re not deliberate, we can easily live life hopping from distraction to distraction, biding our time for something better. …

Tiny Wisdom: On Understanding

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“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese

Sometimes resentment and anger may seem involuntary, like reactions you have to indulge for a length of time proportionate to how badly you were wronged. It might even feel like your anger is a justified retaliation, and you’d be weak if you let it go.

The irony is that after we’ve been hurt, we choose to continue hurting ourselves. Bitterness never feels good, no matter where it’s rooted.

Psychologists suggest that when other people make mistakes, we tend to assign them character flaws (i.e.: he’s selfish, …

Punished By Anger

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“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.” ~Buddha

I went camping recently, something that I was really looking forward to, but I didn’t last long. Due to health conditions, my friend and I had to abandon camp at three in the morning because the cold got to me in a big way.

This awful experience has left me feeling dejected and rather ashamed of myself. Who the hell can’t manage a couple of nights camping? I’m being too hard on myself, but the point is I’m feeling angry.

You know what that …

Tiny Wisdom: On Choices

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“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” -Sogyal Rinpoche

Nothing is as discouraging as feeling you don’t have a choice—that you’re trapped in a situation you can’t change, with a person who won’t change, or with feelings about yourself that you’ve stopped believing you can change.

We’ve all been there before.

We’ve accepted thankless jobs just to make ends meet. We’ve hurt or watched friends hurting, feeling powerless to end the pain. We’ve waited for love, or mourned unrequited love, or wondered if it was really better to …

Why It’s Hard to Trust Our Instincts and How to Start

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“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” ~Benjamin Spock

I was talking to a friend of mine a couple weeks ago. I was telling her how I always know when it’s time for me to move. She asked me, “How do you know? What makes you aware that you ‘know’ this?”

It was a reasonable question: What is the actual sign that indicates that you “know” to do anything?

“You just know,” I told her.

“But how?” she asked, curiously.

I didn’t really have a good answer for her at the time, but it stuck with me.…

7 Ways to Deal with Uncertainty So You Can Be Happier and Less Anxious

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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

In three weeks, my boyfriend and I might move from the Bay area to LA, or we might move in here with roommates if he decides not pursue a film career.

I am starting a new work-from-home writing gig to pay my bills while I write my book. It might be something I can do in under two days a week, or it may require more time. It may provide enough money, or I might need to get some …

4 Life-Changing Lessons I’ve Learned from Running Tiny Buddha

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“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi

I have been working on Tiny Buddha for over two years, and yet I’ve rarely written about my experiences running it.

I haven’t told you anything about my own challenges, opportunities, and lessons in maintaining the site, and it occurred to me today that that might be valuable information.

You probably have a Tiny Buddha in your own life—something you created that you’re absolutely in love with. Or maybe you haven’t found it yet, but you want to build something that drives you like nothing …

Writing Your Story: 5 Ways to Discover Your World

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“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron

This past year has been one of tremendous self-discovery. One day, I suddenly realized after nine years of a very straight finance-paved path that I no longer wanted to be a corporate banker.

Instead, I wanted to wake up each morning with a bigger purpose—an idea of who I was and what I stood for outside of this corporate lifestyle.

Since that day, I seemed to be in tiresome pursuit in finding my story. I even seriously debated moving out of the country to build …

4 Tips to Get in Touch with Your Feelings Instead of Burying Them

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“Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.” ~Jean Kerr

I’ve just given up smoking. Again. It’s a bad habit that I can’t seem to shake because I’m likely to relapse when I’m stressed.

I try to rationalize my destructive behavior—I don’t smoke heavily, I don’t smoke that much since I stick to rolling tobacco which makes thinner cigarettes, it’s fifteen minutes to myself where nobody will question why I’m taking time to do and think about nothing.

No matter how much I justify my bad habit, I can’t deny that I’m dependent on a bad thing …

Tiny Wisdom: On What Matters

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“What matters is the value we’ve created in our lives, the people we’ve made happy and how much we’ve grown as people.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

We spend so much of our lives looking for meaning—a sense that it all makes sense or will in the end—that we sometimes drive ourselves crazy trying to make the moment good enough. To do the right work, have the right relationships, make the right decisions, make the right impact so hopefully our lives will matter. We’ll matter.

All that struggling, striving, and racing toward something better can make the moment feel like something to escape …

How to Experience True Freedom to Live a Life with Fewer Limits

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“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I don’t know about anyone else, but sometimes I can be a prisoner to my own thoughts and forget that I have the freedom to choose. Choose a different thought. Choose a different experience. Choose a different interpretation.

I remember having a coach that used to listen to me rant. I would be sure I was the victim of something that was happening to me, and I would tell her all about it expecting sympathy.

She would listen patiently and then say, “Yeah? And …

Make Now Count: How to Live a Fun Life Full of Possibilities

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“Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional.” ~Unknown

My daughter Nava suffered a medical crisis and was hospitalized for one year. She was in a drug-induced, paralyzed coma on a ventilator for three months, teetering on the seesaw of life and death, much closer to the death side.

Miraculously surviving, she moved on to a rehab hospital for the next nine months where she had to relearn each and every body and motor function. Two miracles occurred: one, she survived; and two, she had a complete recovery, with her life back as before.

Because I have my daughter back, whole and …

Mindfulness in Everyday Tasks: How to Get the Most from Your Chores

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“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Last night I did something I rarely do. Drum roll please…

…last night I cooked.

Okay, to be fair, I more prepped than cooked. But my willingness to participate in this domestic ritual, with my boyfriend at the helm, was certainly not the norm. Neurotic as I may be with organizing and cleaning, cooking has never been my thing.

For starters, I’m cheap with food. I’d rather spend money on books and pedicures than saffron and truffles. I realize I could channel my inner Rachael Ray and learn to make budget-friendly meals, …

Tiny Wisdom: On Love

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“Love is loving things that sometimes you don’t like.” ~Ajahn Brahm

The most challenging part of relationships is learning to accept people for who they are—knowing all their quirks, insecurities, and weaknesses and choosing to simply let them be.

Psychologists suggest that once we form an idea, we develop an emotional attachment that makes it extremely difficult to abandon it. We feel convinced that our way is the right way and feel an imperative to sway other people accordingly, particularly people who are close to us.

The irony is that this tends to push people further away. It’s hard to …

On Perfect Timing: When Things Aren’t Happening Fast Enough

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“After winter comes the summer. After night comes the dawn. And after every storm, there comes clear, open skies.” ~Samuel Rutherford

I was talking to someone this week about his feeling that things weren’t happening fast enough. That with all he was doing, intending, and putting out there more should be happening, and faster.

My question to him was, “Really? Should things really be happening faster? Or are you exactly where you’re supposed to be?”

We have a tendency to think we have it all figured out. When it should happen, how it should happen, who it should happen with—and …

On Dealing with Fear: Stop Judging Yourself and Be

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“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

I’m arachnophobic. Last night, a large spider took up residence on the wall in my room. The shock of seeing its dark mass seated comfortably against the stark white of the paint made the blood drain from my head.

I have ways of dealing with my fears. Sometimes I ignore them and plunge in head-first without thinking; sometimes I avoid them altogether and run for the hills. When it comes to spiders though, I humanize the situation.

I gave Richie, as I named my new roommate, the …