LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL (fear is conditional)
LOVE IS STRONG (fear is weak)
LOVE RELEASES (fear obligates)
LOVE SURRENDERS (fear binds)
LOVE IS HONEST (fear is deceitful)
LOVE TRUSTS (fear suspects)
LOVE ALLOWS (fear dictates)
LOVE GIVES (fear resists)
LOVE FORGIVES (fear blames)
LOVE IS COMPASSIONATE (fear pities)
“A man is not old until regrets take the place of his dreams.” ~Proverb
Something beautiful just occurred to me.
I spend so much time stressing over my future adult achievements—a good career, a home for life, getting published, an adult relationship, possibly a kid and a large dog—that I don’t often revel in the things that seven-year-old me would have been stoked about.
How many of us do?
I try to treat my inner child with something every week, like painting, playing with my cat, or indulging in some candy—a very rare thing! But I don’t often think of …
“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb
I couldn’t drive, drink, vote, or stay out after nine, and yet I had two jobs.
I started working just before I turned twelve. My parents didn’t have a lot of money, so I knew early on I’d need to work if I wanted to do fun things, like go to music camp.
After school, I went to a program for kids where I led them in creative activities, like singing and arts and crafts. On the weekends, I ran the dozen …
“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard
This year has been a massive change for me. I had enough of the lameness that was freezing my previous life. Always experiencing the same days, meeting the same people, and doing the same things. Over and over again. Enough!
I did a complete 180-turn.
I changed the way I perceive mistakes and that made all the difference. My life is now more exciting than ever. I meet awesome people and do awesome things.
Making mistakes has been the life changing …
It’s a pretty exciting week in Tiny Buddha world. Several months back, I decided to have Tiny Buddha redesigned.
Well, we decided. There is an amazing man named Joshua Denney who has done a lot of work on the site.
It’s through his passion, expertise, and hard work that we’ll have a completely new design at the end of this week.
One of the reasons I’m excited to launch the new site this week is that Thursday is the site’s one-year anniversary.
With that in mind, I’ve decided to do a few things:
1. Conduct a series of book giveaways …
“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” ~Buddha
A teacher of mine once said, “Don’t show up as the person you think you are. Show up as the person you want to be.”
A powerful statement, but I didn’t know who I wanted to be. Even if I did, I wasn’t sure if I could pull it off.
I knew who I didn’t want to be: self-critical, self-conscious, and always focusing on my shortcomings. I wanted to learn how to get out of my own way.
For a long time, I …
“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton
The yoga class I attended yesterday included a number of balance posts, from simple tree pose to a “floating” ardha chandrasana. I am not certain why, but I was struggling to find a steady balance on one side.
I arrived late feeling flustered, and my mind was spinning and worrying as we worked our way into the flow. I had to struggle to make my gaze steady, and I was starting to beat myself up for the wobbling on my left leg.
Then I …
“It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult.” ~Seneca
Taking the path of least resistance actually requires a lot of resistance. It’s human nature to want to soar! To venture out, explore the world, expand ourselves and our minds and live with passion, enthusiasm, and abandon.
You might be doing that already, whatever that means to you. Or you may be containing yourself into a safe, predictable box, assuming everything outside it is far beyond your reach.
It’s not—it’s not nearly as far away as you think.…
“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~Unknown
There are two basic human emotions that are the driving force behind each thought, each daily inspiration, and that rare but pivotal new-chapter, life-changing decision. Those things are fear and love.
The funny thing, however, is that they are intertwining forces. In order to feel passionately about something, fear and love must coexist.
One year ago I made what some people would consider an irrational decision. I had a great job, …
“Appreciation is an excellent thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us, as well.” -Voltaire
There’s work to do. And things to accomplish. And places to get to. And people to please.
There’s futures to create. And pasts to forget. And an endless string of days full of hours to be filled. We often spend then running, fantasizing, or waiting, hoping it eventually turns into something good enough. Something worth valuing, something worth appreciating, something worth enjoying.
If we’re not deliberate, we can easily live life hopping from distraction to distraction, biding our time for something better. …
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese
Sometimes resentment and anger may seem involuntary, like reactions you have to indulge for a length of time proportionate to how badly you were wronged. It might even feel like your anger is a justified retaliation, and you’d be weak if you let it go.
The irony is that after we’ve been hurt, we choose to continue hurting ourselves. Bitterness never feels good, no matter where it’s rooted.
Psychologists suggest that when other people make mistakes, we tend to assign them character flaws (i.e.: he’s selfish, …
“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.” ~Buddha
I went camping recently, something that I was really looking forward to, but I didn’t last long. Due to health conditions, my friend and I had to abandon camp at three in the morning because the cold got to me in a big way.
This awful experience has left me feeling dejected and rather ashamed of myself. Who the hell can’t manage a couple of nights camping? I’m being too hard on myself, but the point is I’m feeling angry.
You know what that …
“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” -Sogyal Rinpoche
Nothing is as discouraging as feeling you don’t have a choice—that you’re trapped in a situation you can’t change, with a person who won’t change, or with feelings about yourself that you’ve stopped believing you can change.
We’ve all been there before.
We’ve accepted thankless jobs just to make ends meet. We’ve hurt or watched friends hurting, feeling powerless to end the pain. We’ve waited for love, or mourned unrequited love, or wondered if it was really better to …
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” ~Benjamin Spock
I was talking to a friend of mine a couple weeks ago. I was telling her how I always know when it’s time for me to move. She asked me, “How do you know? What makes you aware that you ‘know’ this?”
It was a reasonable question: What is the actual sign that indicates that you “know” to do anything?
“You just know,” I told her.
“But how?” she asked, curiously.
I didn’t really have a good answer for her at the time, but it stuck with me.…
“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos
In three weeks, my boyfriend and I might move from the Bay area to LA, or we might move in here with roommates if he decides not pursue a film career.
I am starting a new work-from-home writing gig to pay my bills while I write my book. It might be something I can do in under two days a week, or it may require more time. It may provide enough money, or I might need to get some …
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi
I have been working on Tiny Buddha for over two years, and yet I’ve rarely written about my experiences running it.
I haven’t told you anything about my own challenges, opportunities, and lessons in maintaining the site, and it occurred to me today that that might be valuable information.
You probably have a Tiny Buddha in your own life—something you created that you’re absolutely in love with. Or maybe you haven’t found it yet, but you want to build something that drives you like nothing …
“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron
This past year has been one of tremendous self-discovery. One day, I suddenly realized after nine years of a very straight finance-paved path that I no longer wanted to be a corporate banker.
Instead, I wanted to wake up each morning with a bigger purpose—an idea of who I was and what I stood for outside of this corporate lifestyle.
Since that day, I seemed to be in tiresome pursuit in finding my story. I even seriously debated moving out of the country to build …
“Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.” ~Jean Kerr
I’ve just given up smoking. Again. It’s a bad habit that I can’t seem to shake because I’m likely to relapse when I’m stressed.
I try to rationalize my destructive behavior—I don’t smoke heavily, I don’t smoke that much since I stick to rolling tobacco which makes thinner cigarettes, it’s fifteen minutes to myself where nobody will question why I’m taking time to do and think about nothing.
No matter how much I justify my bad habit, I can’t deny that I’m dependent on a bad thing …
“What matters is the value we’ve created in our lives, the people we’ve made happy and how much we’ve grown as people.” ~Daisaku Ikeda
We spend so much of our lives looking for meaning—a sense that it all makes sense or will in the end—that we sometimes drive ourselves crazy trying to make the moment good enough. To do the right work, have the right relationships, make the right decisions, make the right impact so hopefully our lives will matter. We’ll matter.
All that struggling, striving, and racing toward something better can make the moment feel like something to escape …
“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I don’t know about anyone else, but sometimes I can be a prisoner to my own thoughts and forget that I have the freedom to choose. Choose a different thought. Choose a different experience. Choose a different interpretation.
I remember having a coach that used to listen to me rant. I would be sure I was the victim of something that was happening to me, and I would tell her all about it expecting sympathy.
She would listen patiently and then say, “Yeah? And …
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