fbpx
Menu

Posts tagged with “popular”

Ending a Toxic Relationship: When It’s Time to Say “No More”

By

“Worry less, smile more. Don’t regret, just learn and grow.” ~Unknown

The day finally came when my heart was strong enough to speak up.

I had spent many years trying to be the calm, sensible one. The one who would try to rationalize my sister’s behavior just to keep the peace.

For years the strategy was to keep everything in its place and accept what was said, done, or requested. The day finally came when the weight of accepting the burden was too much to bear.

No amount of talking would convince my sister that I was being reasonable. It …

Love Shows Up When You Do

By

“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” ~John de Paola

After six months of being single after my divorce, I wanted to date again. I was still afraid of failure and rejection, but I wanted to try. I felt the best way to get over it was to dedicate my time to finding someone new.

I didn’t know where to begin, but I knew I had a clearer understanding of what I wanted in a relationship. I definitely knew what I didn’t want in a relationship. I thought if I could just find someone …

How to Deal with Criticism Well: 25 Reasons to Embrace It

By

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

At the end of the day, when I feel completely exhausted, it often has nothing to do with all the things I’ve done.

It’s not a consequence of juggling multiple responsibilities and projects. It’s not my body’s way of punishing me for becoming a late-life jogger after a period of laziness. It’s not even about getting too little sleep.

When I’m exhausted, you can be sure I’ve bent over backward trying to win everyone’s approval. I’ve obsessed over what people think of me, I’ve …

Doing What’s Best for Us Even If Other People Don’t Like It

By

“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer

I got the call late one Sunday afternoon while sitting at work. “Babe, your toilet tub and shower are backed up.” What?

“It’s bad babe, and getting worse.” Okay, I thought, I’ll call my landlord.

“Hello, this is so and so and you’ve got my voicemail. Please leave me a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

Damn. Answering machine. Message left.

Text message time. Left that one too.

I wrapped up work and raced home. Yuck. It was bad. And like …

Some Things Take Time: Slow Down and Stop Pushing

By

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

As life speeds up, as we check our phones and Twitter feeds for instant gratification, as we seek out another spiritual practice in the promise of evolving even faster, we have lost sight of something quite fundamental.

Some things just take time. This can apply to relationships, business, and, in my experience, it especially applies to spiritual awakening.

Yes, our practices such as meditation, dance, service, and energy work can support us on our soul journey. But rushing our development can even result in us taking one step forward and two steps …

When You Want More Love and Support in Relationships

By

“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown

For years, I felt unfulfilled in my relationships. I often felt drained, and as if I was the only one giving and doing things for others.

I couldn’t quite understand what I was doing wrong and why relationships were so challenging for me. All I wanted to do was to feel loved and supported. Why couldn’t I get that?

Then, nearly three years ago, after a bad breakup and a ton of other relationship challenges, I reached a breaking point. I knew I …

When You Feel Purposeless and Fear You’re Wasting Time

By

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~George Bernard Shaw

I wanted a guarantee.

I wanted to know for sure that if I tried to do something, I would like it; if I devoted my limited time to it, I’d end up somewhere good.

I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I felt certain this was a phenomenal failing—because if you don’t know right now what you need to do to make your life count, life will pass you by before you’ve ever had a chance to do something meaningful or …

What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself

By

“Self-love requires you to be honest about your current choices and thought patterns and undertake new practices that reflect self-worth.” ~Caroline Kirk

If one more person told me to “love myself” I was going to levitate into the air and pull one of those impossible martial arts moves from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I was sick of it!

What the heck does loving myself mean? Were they talking about bubble baths, pedicures, and cucumber masks? It turns out there is so much more to self-love than just pampering ourselves. I found this out the hard way.

About a year …

10 Ways to Make the World a Nicer Place

By

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” ~Denis Waitley  

I was spending some time with my nephews not too long ago. This is one of my favorite things to do because we have a lot of fun together. They’re silly and loving and inquisitive, and it’s easy to make them laugh.

Spending time with them reminds me that fun and laughter should be a part of my everyday life, and also makes me feel like a kid again.

When we were together that day, I asked them …

10 Habits of Unhappy People (And How to Fix Them)

By

“Ego says, ‘Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.’ Spirit says, ‘Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.’” ~Marianne Williamson

Have you ever felt that something was missing in your life?

Who am I kidding, everyone has.

I used to be unhappy. But not just unhappy—miserable.

I’d look at other people and wonder what they had that I didn’t. I was sick of living my life. And being sick of it was the tipping point that changed it all. It’s what got me moving in the direction of what made my heart sing.

As I moved …

The One Thing You Need to Change If You Want to Accept Yourself

By

“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

I quit Weight Watchers this week and I have never felt happier.

To be clear, quitting this weight loss program was not an act of defeat, nor was it an example of me running away from something difficult or painful. Cutting ties with Weight Watchers was truly an acceptance of self.

A couple of weeks ago I had a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend. I was feeling really down, and I confided to him that not only do I lack self-confidence in nearly everything I do, I also seem to not …

Do You Feel Stuck, Overwhelmed, and Dissatisfied?

By

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” ~Andy Rooney

I was born and raised in Louisiana, where food, booze, and fun are the three most important things in most every social situation.

I had my license at fourteen, my first drink at fifteen, and I knew the owner of the local drive-through daiquiri bar by name. (Miss Billy, in case you were wondering.) It wasn’t out of the ordinary. We all drank a lot on the weekends…who doesn’t?!

In college, when my parents were going through a …

Your Job Doesn’t Define You, No Matter What You Do

By

“I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a ‘life.’” ~Maya Angelou

When I started working toward a life of freedom a year ago and dared to set my sights on my dreams, I never imagined I’d be where I am today.

However, if you took a snap shot of my life three years ago, you’d have seen a different person. I was a career woman, a high flyer, rising quickly from an office manager to the head of human resources for a fast growing, successful business, going from strength to strength.

I was living …

The Stage of Grief You’ve Never Heard of But May Be Stuck In

By

“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

Since I was a little girl I have believed in the power of wishes. I’ve never missed a first star, a dandelion plume, or load of hay (load of hay, load of hay, make a wish and turn away) to express to the universe my deepest desires.

When I was fifteen and my dad was at the end stages of cancer, I …

The Most Powerful Way to Resolve Conflicts in Relationships

By

“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~Jack Kornfield

I was all set to float effortlessly through life on a cloud of peace. I was trained mediator, had a Masters Degree in Peace Education, led workshops on constructively managing conflicts, and had a lifelong interest in creating interpersonal understanding. Yet, here I was, ready to wring his neck.

I’ve found it’s always easier to help others solve their conflicts than it is to deal with your own—there’s none of that pesky “emotional intensity” or “personal baggage” …

Learning to Speak Up: You Deserve to Meet Your Needs

By

“Ask for what you want. Give other people the opportunity to say ‘yes.’ Stop saying ‘no’ for them. “ ~Roger Ellerton

I never realized until very recently exactly how hard it’s been for me to speak up for my needs. To ask for what I require and want. I honestly don’t know how I’ve navigated through life.

Let me rephrase that: I’ve managed life by being very passive, ignoring my own desires. Then that small grain of resentment would build into frustration, and I would explode.

I became a fiery and angry woman. I expressed my needs in a destructive …

How to Stop Hurting When You Feel Like You’ve Been Wronged

By

“At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end.” ~Christine Mason Miller

Several months ago my partner’s father (we’ll call him D) verbally attacked me. A couple weeks later it happened again, except this time it was more aggressive and more personal.

When I calmly told him that his behavior was unacceptable, he became angry and spent the next several months using every tool in his vast arsenal to put space between my partner and me.

And for a while it worked.

Suddenly I found myself constantly obsessed over …

Overcoming Excuses and Believing in What You Can Do

By

“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” ~Mark Victor Hansen

I still remember how I felt crossing the finish line after my first 10K race. I was elated. I felt like I could conquer anything.

I realize that for all you marathon runners, 10K may not seem like a big deal. But for me, it was monumental. Up until the two years prior to running my first race, the only running I did was in gym class (and only after trying anything I could think of to get out of …

A Simple Way to Avoid Hurting Other People

By

“Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” ~Dalai Lama

The most straightforward advice I can suggest to make real concrete changes in your life is to practice causing no harm to anyone—yourself or others.

Try it for a day. Or two. How about a week? You will probably find that it’s harder than you think. Before you know it, someone has triggered you, and either directly or indirectly, you’ve caused harm.

I am a successful psychotherapist and conscious woman, and I’m also committed to transparency. No more hiding behind the therapist’s veil for me. The one that …

More Is Not Always Better: Being Grateful for What Is

By

“It is not joy that makes us grateful. It is gratitude that makes us joyful.” ~David Rast

Every New Years Eve I make a list of resolutions that I never keep up with and it just makes me feel guilty every time I don’t. Lose ten pounds, get more involved, go to the gym, develop better relationships.

Every year I aspire to be more, do more, get more, never living within the present moment.

My stress to do more comes into play in every aspect of my life. The stress of joining more clubs comes from the competitive environment of …