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Posts tagged with “worth”

How to Make Your Life Matter (Even If It Lacks Purpose and Direction)

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“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“Calm yourself down. It’s okay. All is well.”

I clung to the sterile white table while the laboratory was spinning around me.

“It’s just an anxiety attack. It will be over soon.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, forcing my lungs to expand against the tightness in my chest. Cold sweat trickled down my spine as I battled the all-consuming feelings of overwhelm, panic, and disappointment.

My …

There’s Nothing Wrong With Being Single: Releasing the Shame and Stigma

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“Single is no longer a lack of options, but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.” ~Mandy Hale

In our society, being single is still heavily stigmatized. Being single is often perceived as something out of the norm. It is more acceptable to be part of a couple (even a dysfunctional one!) than it is to be single. And it is even more acceptable to be divorced than it is to be single.

Unfortunately, our society makes …

Why I Believe That Feeling Offended Is a Choice

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“The feeling of being ‘offended’ is a warning indicator that is showing you where to look within yourself for unresolved issues.” ~Bryant McGill

As I ponder back over my forty-odd years on this planet, I can’t really remember going lengths of time without feeling offended. By someone’s words, or actions. It was simply my default reaction.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t enjoy it. Feeling offended never feels good. Ever. There’s always a sting. Which is probably why the (many) “feeling offended” memories are so prominent. And clear.

Some of them were simple and relatively unimportant.

Like the time I …

If Only I Knew My Worth…

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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ~Albert Einstein

Looking back on my past, I see that I have spent most of my precious time striving to improve myself instead of celebrating the very gift of being alive and healthy. For many years, I though I wasn’t good enough, and perfection was my worst enemy.

I considered myself pretty but not beautiful, somewhat smart but not truly intelligent. In other words, I thought of myself as average, not …

The Fascinating Reason We Fear Rejection and the Key to Acceptance

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“Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.” ~Steven Pressfield

“We need to talk to you.”

I looked up from my book. The other thirteen girls in my class had assembled around me.

Part of me was annoyed that they interrupted Indiana Jones’s latest adventure. But another part couldn’t shake the feeling that I was facing the sixth grade execution squad. My heart began to beat faster, my shoulders tensed, and sickening fear spread through my body.

“We don’t like …

When You Start Seeing Your Worth

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Seeking Outside Approval Is Giving Our Power Away

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“When you do not seek or need approval, you are at your most powerful.” ~Caroline Myss

Back in the winter of 2012, I was devastated by a sudden near-deaf experience (90% hearing loss), which led me to a dead end in my IT career.

“You’ve been overworked. Rest is the only way to recuperate,” said every single doctor.

Leaving my corporate sales job left me feeling like a total failure.

I felt lost, confused, and frustrated as darkness swallowed my self-esteem.

“Why did you have to work so hard and not get the credit you deserved?!” 

“Is deafness all …

You Have to Know You’re Worthy to Attract a Healthy Relationship

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“Your problem is you’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness.” ~Ram Dass

Three years ago I went through a breakup with someone I loved deeply.

I had no idea what had happened to me after I fell in love with this girl. I now know that I was asleep from the beginning to the very end of the relationship.

I was totally encapsulated with this girl to the point where I could not see what was in front of me. I was unable to see the red flags that were there in the beginning.

When I first laid eyes on …

How to Stop Measuring Your Worth in Achievements

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“The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off.” ~Robert Hand

The first vivid memory I have of anxiety is when I was only seven years old. I sat in math class, gripped with fear that I wouldn’t get a perfect score on my test. If I got even one answer wrong, I would feel worthless.

This striving for achievement followed me all the way through college. I not only graduated with a 4.0 grade point average, but I had an impressive Curriculum Vitae filled with awards, extra curricular activities, publications, honor societies, and …

How to Feel Good Enough (When You Feel Anything But)

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“There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don’t allow yourself to become one of them.” ~Ralph Marston

I recently had a personal conversation with someone who was describing some struggles they were experiencing. In passing, they mentioned “It’s okay for you, you’ve fought your battles” and went on to talk about how I’m married, I’m working in a career I love, and I’m “successful.”

Listening to them, I could feel my heart breaking, partly for them: I know what it’s like to compare my insides to someone else’s outsides and find myself severely wanting.

But I …

Why We Worry About What Other People Think of Us (And How to Stop)

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“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” ~Winston Churchill

I often play a little game with myself when I’m feeling bad. The game is a simple one, and maybe one that some people might find slightly morbid, but it cuts to the heart of the matter.

I ask myself if this thing that is making me feel bad will matter to me when I’m on my deathbed. Ninety-nine …

How to Live a Rich Life Without Lots of Money

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“Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” ~Oscar Wilde

Does the race for riches leave you unfulfilled?

Does the thought of constantly chasing ever more cash leave you stressed, depressed even?

Does the whole idea of measuring your personal worth in terms of your personal wealth leave you deeply dissatisfied?

It did for me.

Poor in possessions and somewhat fiscally challenged, I never fit in with my richer friends.

And no matter how much I told myself that money didn’t buy happiness, I still felt …

What to Do When People Always Underestimate You

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“You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations.” ~Stevie Wonder

Being blatantly underestimated is simply a part of my life.

No matter what I’m doing, the ordinary will seem extraordinary, and the extraordinary will seem insurmountable to those who look at me for the first time. There is no way I am contributing the same amount to society as the rest of the world.

These are not drawn conclusions on my part; I have been told these very things straight to my face. People perceive me this way because of the white cane in my hand, the badge, letting …

Stop Giving People Power

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Source: Power of Positivity

If You Don’t See Your Worth

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Source: Live Life Happy

You Are Worthy Regardless of What You Achieve

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“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” ~Albert Einstein

I am pathetic. I am a walking, talking cliché (well, maybe not walking—I use an electric wheelchair).

I am one of those people who is so desperate to overcome their own sense of lack that they create some giant obstacle to overcome, or some massive achievement to attain, in order to feel that they might just be worth something.

I am an over-compensator, so desperate to feel okay about the fact that I am, in some ways, not as capable as …

How to Move Forward When You Feel Like Your Life Is Over

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“When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

At seventeen years old, baseball was my life. I played on the top summer Connecticut baseball teams, constantly practiced and trained, and dreamed of being a starter for the high school varsity team. Junior year I was on varsity but didn’t get any playing time, so I was putting all my hopes and dreams into spring of my senior year.

When I went to college showcases, I was one of the standout players and I received many letters in the mail from …

The Keeper of Your Happiness

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Source: WomenWorking.com

You’re More Valuable Than You Think

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“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown

On a summer night in Hicksville, Long Island, I swung the bat and drove a double down the left-field line. I broke up the pitcher’s no-hitter, and he was one of the best pitchers in the league. I felt completely at home. I was myself.

On another summer night in Vergennes, Vermont, I stumbled back to the fence tracking down a fly ball. I speared at it with my glove, then watched it bounce off of my hand and go over the fence for a grand-slam home …

3 Steps to Help You Embrace and Move Past Rejection

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“Wisdom is merely the movement from fighting life to embracing it.” ~Rasheed Ogunlaru

There were many things I wasn’t prepared for when it came to baby raising: the constant self-doubt, the vocal opinions of others, teething that never ended. But the real shock was when my ten-month-old daughter rejected me.

It is human nature to avoid rejection. Nothing is more painful than trying your best or giving your heart and being told it’s not good enough or unwanted. In my case, I went beyond avoiding rejection—I denied the possibility of its existence.

My childhood experiences led me to believe that …