“I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves.” ~Jim Rohn
This is indeed a fact—a fact that took me a very long time to learn.
You may argue that we help each other change, and it’s true. But the deepest truth is that only we are responsible for our own growth.… Read More
“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson
Love terrifies me.
After having loved, courted, and married the love of my life, things went sour. Over the course of a few years, our marriage crumbled and our relationship came to a sudden halt.
When you’ve only been with one person, loved that person to the core, and believed that person to be your soul mate, you take the break-up unusually hard.… Read More
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.” ~Steve Jobs
One of the best ways I’ve found to develop wisdom is through reflection. While reflection might look like a quiet session of daydreaming, it’s actually an active process during which you enrich your life and encourage personal growth by reviewing parts of your day or your life.… Read More
“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” ~Robert Gary Lee
A year ago, I began to accept that I was depressed, and had been for a long time. It was scary. I broke up with my live-in boyfriend of almost three years, quit my job, and though I didn’t want to, I moved halfway across the country to move back in with my parents.… Read More
“Change is the only constant.” ~Heraclitus
Have you ever noticed how many transitions we go through all day?
The transition from waking up to getting out of bed, from PJs (or au natural) to clothes, from red light to green light, from inhale to exhale. Every waking moment is a transition.… Read More
“Do the best you can, from where you are, with what you have, now.” ~African-American proverb
When I first started on my spiritual path, I desperately wanted to live in a more connected and satisfying way. I had a secret longing to know who I truly was and to finally reach my creative potential—not only as a writer, but also as a person.… Read More
“We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself.” ~Lloyd Alexander
There was a time when I looked at the world without hope. My future felt dark because I didn’t know what I wanted to do.… Read More
“Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional.” ~Max Lucade
I used to do everything I could to avoid having conversations that could potentially be challenging or difficult—even resorting to lying or obfuscation if I really felt backed into a corner.
I didn’t have a good template for what healthy conflict looked like, so every challenging conversation felt like a minefield where I could be attacked, blamed, or shamed at any moment.… Read More
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Has this ever happened to you?
Something happens, some kerfuffle or other, like sickness, loss, or unexpected change. And just when you need it most, a friend—whom you considered true and dear—doesn’t stand by you.
You feel betrayed.… Read More
“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl
There’s probably no worse feeling in life than the feeling of being rejected. Whether it’s from the opposite sex, a friend or family member, or co-workers, the feeling that our presence is not wanted or no longer welcomed can cause us to feel hurt and become defensive.… Read More
“Happiness is not a goal. It’s a by-product of a life well lived.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I don’t care what you do or what you become as long as you’re happy. Just be happy.
This has been my mother’s well-intentioned maxim throughout my life. As much as it is an example of her unconditional love, it is also a pretty massive request if you think about it, and something I could not seem to be.… Read More
“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche
Just a few short years ago, I would have relished in being called a “yes person.”
I loved that label. I thought it made me approachable, helpful, and charitable, and I loved being “top of mind” for so many people and wonderful opportunities.… Read More
“We are so used to working that not working is the new hard work.” ~Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You know that feeling just as something bad is happening that you can’t control, when your stomach does a backflip, lurches up into your throat, and then drops into your toes?
I experienced it one day snapping back to full consciousness as my car glided off the left shoulder of the freeway and spun in a full 360-degree circle on the gravel.… Read More
“You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” ~James Allen
When I was eighteen I went through a very stressful period, which led to the onset of panic attacks. I often remember how in bed one night I was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of terror.… Read More
“When everything seem to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” ~Henry Ford
We all have this image of how depression looks. It’s a person looking all sullen and grim. Rain is usually involved. It’s dark. It’s cloudy. It’s depressing.
But what about the sunny depression, the one that almost never shows its face in public, the one that looks just…normal.… Read More
“The best things in life are unexpected, because there were no expectations.” ~Eli Khamarov
Are there situations in your life where letting go of a desired outcome could potentially improve the outcome?
I’d been invited to the Stern Grove festival, the free summer concert series, to see Andrew Bird. A friend of mine texted me the night before, letting me know he was setting up a picnic for it.… Read More
“View your life with kindsight. Stop beating yourself up about things from your past. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking, ‘What was I thinking,’ breathe and ask yourself the kinder question, ‘What was I learning?’” ~Karen Salmonsohn
I’ve never been particularly risk adverse.
If you asked my friends or family, they’d tell you I’d be the first person to try something new and challenging.… Read More
“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom
Have you ever felt less about a relationship when it didn’t exactly pan out like a fairy tale? I sure did.
I had it stuck in my mind that a great relationship should be picture perfect.
When reality would give me a sobering slap showing it was far from perfect, I would walk away from a relationship that refused to meet my standards.… Read More
“Getting over a past relationship is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis
I recently stumbled into a clothing store where everything was full of life and color, until I saw the sales clerk.
She had obviously been crying. I perused the merchandise and hesitatingly asked her a question about an item.… Read More