I experienced my first bout of depression at twelve years old, and by seventeen I so frequently felt despondent that my boyfriend questioned if I could go one day without crying. I could not.… Read More
“Sometimes, it`s the smallest decisions that change your life forever.” ~Keri Russell
Seven years ago I was that athletic, hyperactive person you could look at and admire.
I was madly in love with cardio, and I could easily work out twice a day, six days a week, without a single complaint, not to mention jogging at 6:00AM five days each week.… Read More
“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” ~Victor Hugo
A year-and-a-half ago, I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Every day, I felt like I was travelling through an endless tunnel. The only way I could fall asleep was by pretending that I was dying.… Read More
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” ~Charles Swindoll
I remember working at a job where I absolutely could not do anything right.
This was one of those jobs where it was extremely fast paced and you received 100 tons of work that must be completed by an unrealistic deadline.… Read More
“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabel Allende
I woke up with a knot at the pit of my stomach, yet again. For as long as I could remember, I carried this intangible lump inside me. It went with me everywhere.… Read More
“If you cannot forgive and forget, pick one.” ~Robert Brault
I used to hate my parents.
I despised them. I blamed them for most of my issues.
I couldn’t do what I wanted to do in life because they would disapprove of it. I couldn’t be a cop or firefighter because those professions didn’t make enough money.… Read More
“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” –Marianne Williamson
As the last moments of my thirties are fading away, I’m preparing for the dawn of a new age, the age at which life is said to begin.
I’m like a butterfly preparing to break free from her chrysalis into the light, ready to spread her wings and feel what it is to be free—a freedom that has been born from six long months of deep introspection.… Read More
“If we could see that everything, even tragedy, is a gift in disguise, we would then find the best way to nourish the soul.” ~Elizabeth Kubler Ross
Sometimes a tragedy can give new energy to life and bring awareness we have been living on autopilot.
I still remember the night like it was yesterday.… Read More
“He who has health has hope and he who has hope has everything.” ~Proverb
I write this today seemingly healthy.
My doctors say I’m healthy. I feel healthy. I look healthy. But over the last six months this was not the case.
In April of this year I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Melanoma.… Read More
“One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and it’s perfectly OK.” ~Unknown
I am thankful from the bottom of my heart to that relative who dislikes me.
As Mother Teresa famously said, “Some people come in our life as blessings.… Read More
“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” ~Simone Weil
This morning I was busy French pressing coffee for my husband and me. Everything was going great; I was happily humming along, looking forward to starting my day. My lovely husband came up behind me and bear hugged me gently.… Read More
“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do.” ~Eckhart Tolle
We have this strange need or conditioning to not take responsibility for our own happiness. We expect it to come from an outside source.
It can happen, but it’s fleeting.… Read More
“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” ~Henri Nouwen
Once upon a time I was on a relentless hunt for happiness. I’d root around for it in romantic relationships, search for it in visits to exotic locales, and scour self-help sections of bookstores, hoping to run across a volume that, once and for all, would reveal its thorny secrets.… Read More
“The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually fearing that you’ll make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard
There have been times in my life when I knew I was stuck, but instead of dealing with it I chose to backpedal to the “safest bet” for me at the time, whether it was the steady paycheck from a soul-crushing job or an abusive relationship.… Read More
“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown
Often these days, I would like nothing more than to move forward. If I could only figure out which way was forward, I would definitely start heading in that direction.… Read More
“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.” ~Unknown
A couple of months ago my dear friend and I were chatting over coffee.
The subject turned into past relationships and the reasons why they didn’t work. My friend shared a story about her ex-fiancé—one of those this-clearly-isn’t-going-to-work-but-I-sure-will-try-my-hardest-since-I-don’t-give-up ones.… Read More
“Your value doesn’t decrease by someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown
Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…says Lady Liberty. She was speaking to immigrants wanting to start a new promised life in America, but those words could be my tagline for the men I have had my most intimate relationships with.… Read More
“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” ~Sylvia Plath
Singing professionally has always been something I have wanted to do. Always. The home I grew up in wasn’t a particularly musical household, unless you count playing the radio as playing an instrument.
To my benefit, there was a lot of music in our home ranging from gospel to the Beach Boys; but really nothing beyond the sixties was allowed unless it was a spiritual song of some kind.… Read More
“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown
Self-doubt has been a companion that has followed me around like a trained dog follows his master. Every step I’ve made outside of my comfort zone, it’s been there, right beside me.… Read More
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” ~Marianne Williamson
I used to have this secret habit of flipping through the DSM—The Diagnostic Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders—and diagnosing myself with every disorder in the book.
Reading over the criteria for borderline personality disorder, cigarette in hand and eyes wide open, I scanned the diagnosis criteria.… Read More