“Stop worrying about pleasing others so much. Do more of what makes you happy.” ~Unknown
There comes a time in everyone’s life when you break away from your family. Right? We are all familiar with this. It happens when you turn eighteen, go off to college, and move out the house—and out of the state or country for some.… Read More
“Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.” ~Unknown
I have suffered varying degrees and types of depression since I was thirteen years old, and over the years I have been on the receiving end of both good and bad support from friends.
Some understood, and some told me to “stop moaning and get over it.” Likewise, I have had friends who have struggled as acutely as I have, and throughout it all I have learned so much about what it means to be (and how to be) a friend to someone who is depressed.… Read More
“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ~Alexander Pope
Growing up, I had a wonderful relationship with my mother. We did all the usual mother-daughter things together—went shopping, had brunch—and we supported each other when my father left.
In 2011, I was happily pregnant. I felt supported by my family and ready to take on motherhood.… Read More
“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.” ~Edna Buchanan
A few years ago I ended all contact with my parents, and I have not seen or spoken to them since then.
The truth is I am actually okay with that. Initially, I thought I was going to lose my mind.… Read More
“Speak your mind even if your voice shakes.” ~Maggie Kuhn
For years I was that person who needed to know what would happen in the near future. I wasn’t content with being in the moment and letting things unfold naturally because it made me anxious.
Knowing, or at least thinking I knew, was a way for me to relax and reassure myself that nothing was going to unexpectedly pop up.… Read More
“A broken heart is not the same as sadness. Sadness occurs when the heart is stone cold and lifeless. On the contrary, there is an unbelievable amount of vitality in a broken heart.” ~Elizabeth Lesser
“I love you but I’m not in love with you” was the line my first boyfriend used when he broke up with me.… Read More
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” ~Robert Brault
I’ve always tried to distance myself from people who are rude, overly aggressive, and mean. But sometimes we become tied to people who might not have our best interests at heart.
One summer I became involved with a coworker who was at a bad spot in his life.… Read More
If this feels like déjà vu, that’s because I published a post very similar to this one last year when the LOVE app first launched at #9 in the iTunes store.
After months of brainstorming, creating content, and working with a designer and coder, I was thrilled to release the app.… Read More
“Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” ~Ronald Reagan
I have always had a tumultuous relationship with my mother. One filled with conflict, anger, and struggle.
After years of non-communication, miscommunication, arguments, and fights, I realized it was time to reconcile what was left to whatever degree we were both capable.… Read More
“Awaken; return to yourself” ~Marcus Aurelius
Darkness. Resentment. Detachment. Extreme discomfort.
Those are the words I would use to describe my internal experience during my adolescent years up to young adulthood.
Depression was something I was all too familiar with. Fear was running my life and I was exhausted. I now understand that a lot of it had to do with the dysfunctional family I grew up in and the pain that ensued.… Read More
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
When it comes to self-esteem, I’ve had a bumpy ride. Throughout my school life I was severely bullied and, consequently, I grew up intensely insecure and self-critical.
I constantly measured my self-worth against the opinions of others, and when opinions weren’t forthcoming, I simply filled in the blanks by imagining the worst.… Read More
“What you think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer
Do you ever worry about what people think about you?
Have you ever felt rejected and gotten defensive if someone criticized something you did?
Are there times where you hold back on doing something you know would benefit yourself and even others because you’re scared about how some people may react?… Read More
“We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving…Accepting another person’s gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.” ~Alexander McCall Smith
We all know the importance of giving. In fact, it feels rather nice to give to others; we have all experienced that warm glow in the stomach when we do something thoughtful for another person or exchange kind words.… Read More
“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.” ~Gary Spence
Right after college, I joined AmeriCorps. Not really knowing what I wanted to do with my life, I decided to apply for a program teaching classes on HIV/AIDS. I knew a little about the subject, but I have family members affected by the disease.… Read More
“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.” ~Helen Keller
It’s discouraging, isn’t it?
Walking around every day feeling as if you’re never enough?
Comparing yourself to others and continually coming up short?
You feel as if you’re not smart enough, talented enough, organized enough, or disciplined enough.… Read More
“The best possible thing you can get out of a relationship is that you’re with someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself every day.” ~Nishan Panwar
Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you felt supported? When was the last time you felt safe, at home, encouraged, and able to be 100 percent yourself?… Read More
“Being who you are is another way of accepting yourself.” ~Unknown
Years ago, I struggled to be authentic. I was a consultant who worked with very senior people in big organizations. As a Black female fresh out of graduate school, I was frequently the youngest in the room, the only woman in the room, and the only minority in the room.… Read More
“Sincere apologies are for those that make them, not for those to whom they are made.” ~Greg LeMond
When I was growing up, every time I took my sister’s toy or called my brother names, my mother would grab me by the wrist and demanded that I offer an apology. What’s more, if the apology didn’t sound meaningful enough to her, I had to repeat it until my tone was genuine.… Read More
“In the end, who among us does not choose to be a little less right to be a little less lonely.” ~Robert Braul
I’ve been married to my wife for almost ten years, most of them involving struggle and drama.
I had two failed marriages before that.
This qualifies me to give relationship advice because, well, let’s just say I’ve made every mistake someone could possibly make while attempting to be in a relationship, so I’ve definitely figured out how not to do it.… Read More
“Joy comes not through possession or ownership but through a wise and loving heart.” ~Buddha
We all have these random little personal philosophies or rules that we live by. Oftentimes, these rules are hidden beneath the surface, not in a form that we are aware of or is easily expressible.… Read More