Trauma Rewires Our Brains for Protection
I Used to Be Hungry All the Time
I mean, hungry allll the time. Basically, if I was awake, I was ready to eat.
I’d mindlessly pick at whatever was available.
I’d wander the kitchen feeling “snacky” all the time.
I’d be completely consumed with thoughts of what I was going to eat next from the minute I woke up til the minute I went to bed. And behind all the desires to eat were always the arguments—what I wanted to eat versus what I thought I was “supposed” to eat.
No matter how much I had just eaten, I could literally always still eat. I lived in …
I Want to Be Rich in Memories
“My life isn’t perfect, but it does have perfect moments.” ~Unknown
Practice was over, the hot Florida sun was settling in behind the tall bleachers, casting golden rays onto the track. Behind me was my dear school, engulfed in beautiful palm trees. “California Girls” was playing through the speakers, and I was laughing with friends at something a teammate said. There, I realized how truly alive I felt in that moment. It was seemingly picture perfect in every way.
A couple years ago I could only imagine being on this team, going to such a great school, and living in …
How to Know If Hidden Low Self-Esteem Is Holding You Back in Life
“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.” ~Audrey Kitching
You can try it all—exercise, a bubble bath, a relationship, a promotion, and everything else that you think will make you happy. I have come to learn those things will not give you the kind of happiness you desire until they coincide with you knowing your worth.
At my unhappiest times, my eyes were …
Why You Should Love Your Imperfect Self
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” ~Lucille Ball
If you were to ask me ten years ago what self-love meant, I would’ve probably said something general like “being happy.” But self-love goes way deeper than that; it involves accepting the past versions of yourself and your present challenges, while giving yourself credit for how far you’ve come.
While we may have an idea of the “perfect person” we want to be, sometimes we are so hard on ourselves that we forget to appreciate who we are right now. The notion that we won’t be the …
Simple Ways to Deepen Your Connection with the Natural World
“I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.” ~John Muir
Somewhere, stashed away in my collection of childhood memories, I recall having this small deck of cards with random, uplifting activities on them. I don’t remember how they journeyed my way, and I don’t remember them staying around for long, but I do remember that just reading through them was uplifting.
It’s interesting, the things that our minds choose to file away—and while I’m a little intrigued that these cards earned a spot, I’m …
If You’re Hoping They’ll Change, They’re Not Right for You
“Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.” ~Wayne Dyer
When I married my ex, he had the potential to be a fantastic husband.
If I’m to be honest with you, that’s why I married him—I thought he could eventually be everything I wanted in a partner. I’m not proud of it.
To be fair, he had a lot going for him. He was handsome and creative. He was generous and romantic. My ex was a true gentleman. He dressed …
10 Things You Need to Know to Have a Strong, Happy Relationship
“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” ~Ernest Hemingway
When I was in my early twenties, I was in a relationship with a man who abused me emotionally and psychologically for many months.
It turned out I was his first serious relationship, and this had often made him feel overwhelmed and insecure. He didn’t feel “good enough” for me or deserving of my love. Ironically, we’d both suffered from low self-esteem but had shown it in completely different ways.
During my time with him …
How to Stop Agreeing to Things That Aren’t Good for You
“Agreeing to things just to keep the peace is actually a trauma response. When you do this you’re disrespecting your boundaries.” ~DJ Love Light
Two years ago, I moved from New England to the Pacific Northwest. It was time for a change, and though I was excited to begin a new chapter of my life, I was sorry to leave my old friends behind.
The first year in my new home was hectic. I hopped from hostel to hostel on the hunt for an apartment to call my own. Eager to make friends, I spent my evenings attending meetups of …
If You Hate Your Body and Think You Need to Fix It…
“That girl was fat, and I hate her.”
One of my clients said this the other day—about herself. Well, her little girl self. And my heart broke.
One of the very first things I do with clients is encourage them to practice self-compassion and kindness—just extending themselves the same basic human compassion and kindness that they would anyone else.
Very much the opposite of what most people who struggle with weight and food are used to. After all, when it comes to our weight and food, we’re programmed with messages like “You just have to want it more, be motivated, …
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