Grief Is Love with Nowhere to Go
Why Self-Compassion Is the Key to Living the Life You Want
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers
When was the last time you stopped trying to improve something about yourself or your life?
I’ve spent a lot of my life chasing goals. I guess it goes with the territory as a cancer survivor who always felt like she had something to prove, even twenty years later.
For everything the doctors told me I could not do because of my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (or as a result of the chemotherapy that healed me), I gave my all to accomplish and …
Why I Keep My Heart Open Even Though I’ve Been Deceived
“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you’ll live in torment if you don’t trust enough.” ~Frank Crane
I’m heading home with a latte in hand, listening to This American Life through my headphones when a woman sitting on a bench outside the café waves me down. She looks like she’s in her sixties with grayish brown bangs and a worn pink winter jacket. I pull my headphones out of my ears.
“Excuse me, can you tell me how far it is from here to 77 Westwood?” she asks. I take my phone out, Google map the …
How to Prevent Blame and Criticism from Destroying Your Relationship
“Who is it that’s unhappy? The one who finds fault.” ~Anonymous
If you are anything like me, you yearn to know in your bones that you are showing up in your primary relationship as your best self. You want to be loving, kind, and supportive (and to reap the gifts those qualities sow in your love life). But certain habits of interaction get in the way, making you feel inept and ashamed.
Like many of us, I grew up in a family that was steeped in criticism and blame. Though I rebelled against this behavior intellectually, it found its way …
3 Ways to Decide Whose Opinion of You Matters
“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” ~Coco Chanel
“You know, Joui, I really like how you look tonight. I always thought your style before was… just a little wacky,” smiled Harry, a man I’d met during a forced networking meeting. He then smirked knowingly, like he was doing me a great favor.
Inside I screamed.
As a stylist one of the biggest fears my clients mention when we discuss any big change is feedback, judgment, and shame from their peers. And they are right to be fearful.
People will have commentary, trust me. …
3 Empowering Ways to Reframe Anxiety: Work With It, Not Against It
“If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life—and only then will I be free to become myself.” ~Martin Heidegger
If you are a lifelong anxiety warrior like me, you’ve been on a journey of ups and downs.
Anxiety fills our whole bodies. Tension. Heart pounding. Sometimes I feel like my heart must be visibly pulsating so much so that if there are others around, they can see it.
There are varying levels and types of anxiety, including clinical disorders. But …
7 Reasons to Abandon Your Comfort Zone and Why You’ll Never Regret It
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ~Jack Canfield
Imagine with me for a second. You wake up, roll over, and blindly reach to hit your alarm to start the routine of the day. Make the same thing for breakfast. Maybe go to a new coffee place…nah. Same place. Go to work on the same route to the same job you’ve been at for years.
After a long day of struggling through your daily responsibilities, you come home tired and slink back into the comfort of your TV and couch. Watch the same shows. Pass out. Repeat. …
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