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Search Results for "trust " — 1349 posts

What Helps Me When I’m Tempted to Compare Myself to Others

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“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” ~Zen Shen

Wow, you’re a bit of a loser compared to this guy, aren’t you, Will?

He’s winning at life—great job, great house, obviously making better money than you.

I sigh deeply and continue scrolling.

He takes care of himself, no Buddha belly, unlike you.

It’s true. I begin to feel like a useless lump. I keep scrolling.

No yellow and crooked teeth, either.

“His teeth are pretty straight,” I think to myself, staring at the guy’s mouth on the screen.

Damn right, they’re …

The Miscarriage: Why My Heart Feels Full In Spite of My Loss

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“Suddenly you’re ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you’re alive and it’s spectacular.” ~Joseph Campbell

They say all feelings have a beginning, a middle, and an end.

The truth is that I’m still in the middle part, but I felt like it was time to share this story with you—not just for me, but for all women who have faced this and for all women who have made a plan and then surrendered as the plan changed.

Two months ago, I had a miscarriage.

The pregnancy …

Addicted to Helping: Why We Need to Stop Trying to Fix People

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“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

After college, I was hustling hard to get a work visa so that I could stay in the US.

But then my mom got caught up in a political scandal, and without much reflection on how much this would alter my life’s plans, I dropped my dream of staying in America, drove 1,000 miles, and flew another 500 to be by her side.

Would she have crumbled without me there? My mama is a tough chick, so I highly doubt it.

But …

Accept and Value Yourself: 11 Ways to Embrace Who You Are

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“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown

I can’t remember exactly what it was my friend was trying to convince me I could do, but I had an argument to counter every bit of encouragement. There was no shortage to the ways I believed I wasn’t good enough.

She was trying to help me see myself the way she saw me—as someone smart, capable, and full of potential. I wasn’t buying it.

I’d been pretending for so long to be a better person than I really believed myself to …

How to Stop Sweating the Small Stuff and Let Go of Your Grudges

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“Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge and harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul.” ~Steve Maraboli

You are tired of it, aren’t you?

You find yourself arguing again. You feel anger rising up in you.

You realize there’s no use in trying to explain your position and decide to stop the conversation.

But the topic still buzzes in your head…

This used to define my marriage.

The first few years of my marriage were constant arguing. After each argument my mind would run over and over the things he …

Why You Feel Anxious In Relationships and How To Stop

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“I was feeling insecure you might not love me anymore.” ~John Lennon

After doing years and years of self-esteem work, I thought I was fairly well adjusted and secure. I thought I was fairly confident, self-assured, and not at all needy. But all that changed when I got into my recent relationship.

My subtle thought pattern of fear, distrust, projection, and unhappiness started creeping in. Again? Seriously? I thought I was past all that.

As it turns out my attachment disorder runs much deeper than I thought it did. What about yours? I mentioned attachment theory in one of my …

Unreasonable Boss? 8 Ways to Honor Yourself in a Toxic Workplace

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“Good bosses care about getting important things done. Exceptional bosses care about their people.” ~Jeff Haden

“I’ll need you to log your work down to the minute on this spreadsheet,” she said pointing to my computer where an elaborate timesheet was swallowing up my entire screen.

I looked up at her, confused—nope, more like utterly stunned. Was she for real? My body seemed to know before my mind that I’d just entered some sort of workplace twilight zone.

I had a sinking feeling in my gut, and it was sounding some sort of alarm deep in my chest, making my …

Lost Everything? 8 Tips to Help You Get Back on Your Feet

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“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” ~Robert H. Schuller

About two years ago, I was working in a professional career that I had been building for nearly twenty years.

I had been at my company for thirteen years, and had been generally commended and given positive reviews and regular bonuses and raises for most of that time.

I had just left a terrible and traumatic relationship, and due to two years of criticism, gaslighting, and conflict, was experiencing severe depression. I was on medication that made it hard for me to focus and which gave me anxiety …

How a Terrified, Socially Anxious Guy Became Relaxed and Confident

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“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ~Viktor Frankl

Life is hell… or so I thought for most of my thirty-four years.

My intense social anxiety, an over-the-top and uncontrollable fear of people and social situations, ruined much of my young life. I operated completely alone, living only inside my own head, without even realizing it.

Now, it’s rare that I’m too afraid to talk to anyone. And I face multiple difficult decisions, discussions, and even confrontations …

The Big Little Secret to Rejection: How to Get Past It Quickly

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“I am good at walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject.” ~Jeanette Winterson

Rejection is something that can impact all the big parts of our lives—friends and loved ones, education, jobs, and romantic relationships. It can change how we see ourselves, paralyze us into not taking chances, and even make us give up on pursuing our dreams.

There’s a lot of wonderful advice out there about rejection, but I wanted to share a bit of a different perspective. It’s a simple perspective I was lucky enough to hear a long time ago, but have only just begun to …

You Deserve to Chill: How to Create Space to Heal and De-stress

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“She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom.” ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Why do we stress ourselves out? Why is it that being productive and getting tasks done is more important than healing and taking the time to feel calm?

Stress and anxiety can affect our lives in so many different ways. A few years ago, it manifested itself in me physically, in a pretty gross way.

There was a time I had a plantar wart on the bottom of my left foot, and it was very painful. When the pain got to the point that I couldn’t …

Are You a Multipotentialite? What to Do When You Have Many Interests

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“I think a singular identity isn’t very interesting, and I’m a little bit more multifaceted as a person than that.” ~Catherine Opie

Are you a person who gets inspiring ideas every day? Do you wake up, galvanized with such thoughts, only to end up feeling sore as the day ends because you failed to act on these bright morning ideas? Perhaps you also end up blaming yourself and feeling guilty for not having taken any action.

Then welcome to the world of multipotentialite, a word I first encountered when I heard a TEDX talk by Emilie Wapnick. In her …

Dealing with Bullies: How to Cope When People Are Cruel

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“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

I was the quintessential late-bloomer, not hitting my growth spurt until my junior year of high school. I’m six feet tall now, but for all of middle school and the first half of high school, I was one of the shortest kids in the entire school.

Additionally, some thought I had a slight lisp. I was extremely self-conscious about it after a few people unkindly pointed it out to me. During my senior year I wore Invisalign braces, which corrected my teeth and improved by …

3 Stages of a New Relationship and How to Handle the Changes

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“Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways.” ~Glennon Doyle Melton

When I was younger, I assumed that when I found the ideal person for me and was in my ideal relationship, it was going to be easy, and I was going to feel comfortable and safe all the time.

I would be floating on clouds, feeling blissful and light, and I’d love everything that person did all the time. That’s what being with ‘The One’ would feel like. I have come to learn, through countless emotional outbursts, anxious moments, doubt-filled thoughts, hard conversations, and extreme emotional …

Slow Down, Simplify, Clear Your Mind, and You’ll Get Better Results

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“The real you, the inner you, is pure, very pure. It understands. It has patience. It will wait forever while your ego trots all over everywhere trying to figure life out.” ~Stuart Wilde

There’s a common myth I think we all fall prey to: If something is important, it has to be complicated.

Surely, if what we want is easy—be it a business venture or a happier life—then everyone would be going for it, wouldn’t they?

Well, yes, in a way. But I’ve found that while the road to success and happiness isn’t always smooth sailing, it’s usually us …

How to Boost Your Self-Worth: 7 Tips to Feel Better About Yourself

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“The more we see ourselves as a vibrant, successful, inspiring person who boldly declares and manifests her vision, the more we become just that.” ~Kristi Bowman

I was kind of a chunky kid growing up.

In my own little world of trolls and playwriting, I didn’t notice the chunk. I genuinely liked me. But when I entered the “real world” of opinions, people, and comparison, I began to realize or rather feel that perhaps my body wasn’t good enough.

This thought was like a seed that was then planted in my brain. And every time I thought about it, …

The Power of Staying Put When You Feel Like Running Away

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“You cannot keep running away from your fears. At some point in life you will have to build up the courage to face and overcome them.” ~Unknown

Last year my family and I relocated overseas from Australia to Singapore, which meant new jobs, new schools, new relationships—an entirely new way of living.

My husband was busy with his work, and I had two wide-eyed children looking up at mummy for direction. A part of me was excited for the challenge, but another part of me, of equal measure, was feeling overwhelmed by the prospect and struggling to let my feelings …

11 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned from My Mother After She Died

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“Those we love never truly leave us… There are things that death cannot touch.” ~J.K. Rowling

Growing up, I was glued to my mother’s hip, ready to follow her wherever the world took us.

I used to sleep at her feet on the floor of her law school lecture halls while hundreds of students poured over scores of legal terms and historical court cases.

When I was six, we packed our bags to jet off on her semester abroad in Paris, and at fourteen, I stood beside her as she battled stage III breast cancer.

After my stepfather passed away, …

Overcoming Self-Sabotage: How to Stop Attracting Pain

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“Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.” ~Milton Erickson

Sometimes, there comes a point in our lives when we need to let go of something painful, whether its guilt or a toxic relationship, but it’s equally difficult to let go and hard to live without. So we get uncomfortably stuck in the middle of two realities: where we are and where we want to be.

But do we really want to let go of the pain? Or is letting go so scary and unfamiliar that we’d rather hold onto it?

I’ve always …

Take the Leap: Reinvent Yourself and Be Who You Want to Be

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“The only thing that punk rock should ever really mean is not sitting around and waiting for the lights to go green.” ~Frank Turner

I was exactly where I should have been on the afternoon I jumped. I was four years post-undergrad at an elite private college, halfway through a Masters Degree from the nation’s top Social Work program, about to begin an internship, and working three public service jobs simultaneously. My boyfriend had just moved into my apartment, and the feeling of being “settled” was just starting to sink in.

The remaining challenge of adulthood, it seemed, …