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Search Results for "trust " — 1349 posts

Why No One Needs “Fixing” or Wants Unsolicited Advice

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“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’re lost.” ~Dalai Lama

Have you ever felt the urge to fix someone? And by fix I mean observe their circumstances and tell them what you think they’re doing wrong and exactly how you think they should fix it?

We’ve all done it. We’re all guilty.

Especially with close friends or family.

“If he would only listen to me and do what I say then everything would work out just fine!”

Sound familiar?

I was having tea with a good friend the …

How to Stop Doubting Yourself So You Can Go After Your Dreams

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“The gap between what we do and what we’re capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems.” ~Gandhi

I have lived most of my life with a challenging contradiction.

I am a hopeless idealist and dreamer. And I have also dealt with high levels of anxiety, worry, and doubt, especially as an adult.

You can probably already see how this can go horribly wrong!

I’d have an idea of something I’d like to do.

An idea that would excite and thrill me. I would feel energized—enthusiastic and excited about the possibility of making a dream …

How a Hobby Can Boost Your Motivation and Change Your Life

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“If you want to be happy, be.” ~Leo Tolstoy

We’ve all hit a low motivational point in our lives at one time or another. I am completely aware of that feeling of having nothing to fight for. In those reoccurring periods of despondency, I couldn’t find a reason to get myself out of bed.

It’s funny that I got the life-changing question at a job interview. It was a stressful situation, and the hiring manager made it even more overwhelming when he looked at me straight in the eyes and asked: “What motivates you in life?”

I can’t remember …

4 Tips for Raising Happy, Emotionally Healthy Children

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“Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages.” ~Daniel Goleman

I consider myself an expert on the emotional needs of children. Mostly because I was one.

No one goes into parenthood anticipating the ways they will psychologically damage their children. At least I don’t think they do. I hope not. It’s far more likely that most go into parenthood wanting the best for their children, hoping to do more for them than their own parents were able to do.

So, why is …

12 Powerful Gratitude Practices That Will Make You a Lot Happier

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“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” ~A. A. Milne

Gratitude didn’t always come naturally to me. If there had been a championship for complaining, for a long time, I would have been a serious contender.

For years I felt entitled to everything, including the kindness of others. This didn’t make me very happy, since it was always easy to find something or someone to complain about. The more critical I grew, the less appealing life seemed and the worse I got on with others.

The …

When Family Members Push Our Buttons: How This Helps Us Grow

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“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” ~Pema Chodron

You love them most of the time. You can’t stand them some of the time. But in the end, family is family.

I’ve never liked to admit it, but I am just like my dad. Close in birthday, same number 5 life path in numerology, both risk takers, very passionate and adventurous, fun-loving, and witty, and we lead by example. That’s positively speaking.

However, it becomes a negative pattern to focus on the other side of the coin. We …

You Have the Right to Feel Safe in Your Relationships (Even with Your Family)

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“Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to[…]  It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention.”  ~Harriet G. Lerner, The Dance of Anger

My journey to authentic safety began, at long last, with my discovery of my own anger.

Anger is my least favorite emotion. I don’t even particularly like its cousins—annoyance, irritation, frustration.

The moment that cemented my profound dislike occurred when I was a teenager.

I had tucked myself away in a corner of the house—in the dark den where my family kept the computer. (Just a word processor—this was in the dark …

How to Stop Worrying: 5 Things to Try When Nothing Else Works

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“I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” ~Mark Twain

If you’re like me—a worry prodigy from a young age—you hate when people say, “Don’t worry about it.” As if it were so easy, as if I hadn’t already tried.

I’ve used many of the tips and tricks out there. Some of them helped for a while, but few did much for long.

The trouble is, most of the advice out there only addresses the symptoms of worry. It’s like taking cherry-flavored cough syrup when you have bronchitis: tempting, and probably the most …

Life Is a Cycle of Happiness, Sadness, Clarity, and Confusion

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“Life is a cycle, always in motion. If good times have moved on, so will times of trouble.” ~Indian Proverb

Two years ago I went on a volunteer trip to Vietnam, where I had hoped to find both myself and my purpose (ambitious), but instead found a rocky adventure that continues to teach me things to this day.

I was in the middle of a difficult time that was secretly a rebirth. It’s always hard to see that when it’s happening, isn’t it?

For a few amazing months, everything made crystal clear sense, and I felt like I could …

Healing After an Affair: How to Get Through the Pain of Infidelity

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“I will breathe. I will think of solutions, I will not let my worry control me. I will not let my stress level break me. I will simply breathe. And it will be okay. Because I don’t quit.” ~Shayne McClendon

It was a Wednesday afternoon in late July, and I felt like my entire world was coming to an end. My husband of almost eleven years had become distant, and during a phone call on my lunch break he told me he couldn’t do this anymore. That evening he told me he no longer loved me and wanted a divorce…

How We Avoid Our Feelings and How Embracing Them Sets Us Free

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“We numb our minds and heart so one need not be broken and the other need not be bothered.” ~Peggy Haymes

Feelings are important, no doubt about it. They communicate all sorts of information to us. I don’t know about you, but I’ve preferred to ignore some of that information. Raise your hand if you would much rather feel the good feelings and just jump right over the not so good ones.

Okay, so it’s unanimous. We all prefer the good, happy feelings. I expect we are all experts at finding ways to avoid the uncomfortable ones. But …

Healing from Depression: It Begins With Asking for Help

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“I speak of a clinical depression that is the background of your entire life, a background of anguish and anxiety, a sense that nothing goes well, that pleasure is unavailable and all your strategies collapse.” ~Leonard Cohen

Right before my eighteenth birthday, when I was about to go to university, I was hit by a car and sustained multiple fractures to my right leg. This led to a couple of operations and the best part of ten months with me unable to walk.

While all of my school friends and peers were having the time of their lives in …

3 Ways We Unconsciously Sabotage Our Relationships (And How to Stop)

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“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source.” ~Anaïs Nin

As a long-time commitment-phobe, my love life has been somewhat inconsistent, to say the least, but this year it seemed I’d finally met someone I was ready and able to think about building a future with. Still, along with this feeling of hope came some challenges that I had never experienced before in a relationship. (And yes, it did occur to me that maybe these two things went together!)

I knew I loved my partner, but we often seemed to argue …

Does Your Partner Often Get Angry and Shut Down Emotionally?

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“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~Carl Jung

Three years ago I was on top of the world after realizing I had fallen in love with my best friend. Relationships this rare are beautiful, until one vital piece of them breaks down: clear communication.

Although I didn’t know it at the time, when my ex and I came together as a couple, rather than being in love, we were both just mirroring each other’s deep unconscious pain; his mother had walked out on him at a young age, and …

How to Deal with Painful Emotional Triggers in Your Relationships

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“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” ~Unknown

I’ve been looking for a new job, so I recently decided to update my resume.

“Hun, can you please help me with that?”

“Of course, my love.”

“Thanks, babe.”

Not only did my wife help me revamp my resume, she drafted me a killer cover letter as well.

“You’re the best, babe!”

“Happy to help, sweetie.”

I opened the cover letter the other day and found a discrepancy, something that immediately touched my deepest core wound.

There, at the bottom of the page, where my name, …

I Choose Me (and Why You Should Choose Yourself)

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“One should always be on the trail of one’s own deepest nature.” ~Henry David Thoreau

I am watching my beautiful eighteen-year-old daughter begin to navigate life as a young adult. Dating, friends, work, school, future plans: the perennial Big Five in terms of potential landmines.

I am projecting like mad, reliving my own traumas, and hoping she will be more successful, more lucky, more savvy by a long shot than I ever was.

And mostly, I find myself on the sidelines silently urging her (okay, not always silently) to choose herself. 

Choose herself when the friend who only wants …

When Fear and Panic Win: How to Deal with Anxiety

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“Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. Breathe. You’re strong. You got this. Take it day by day.” ~Karen Salmansohn

As much as I believe that you can move through fear to do whatever it is that you want to do, sometimes fear wins.

Sometimes, try as you might, you can’t push yourself forward. You retreat, worn, battle scarred, banged up, and with your tail between your legs.

You wave your white flag. You surrender.

Fear wins.

But it is in this moment of loss that you can learn some very important things.…

How Introverts Can Meet People Without Bars or Booze

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“Be yourself, because an original is worth more than a copy.” ~Unknown

There was a moment during my twenties years when I realized I was an introvert.

Now, this may sound like a mundane realization to you, but trust me, this was the Big Epiphany of my young life.

I spent my teenage years pretending to be someone else. Like a lot of my friends, I went out as much as possible. I partied. I was loud.

Until it dawned on me: I hated going out. I hated parties. I wasn’t loud. Honestly? I just wanted to stay home, drink …

The Key to Letting Go of Your Ex: Love Them More

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“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” ~Barbara De Angelis

My first love broke my heart into microscopic little pieces. I honestly didn’t think I’d survive. Losing him was like losing a limb. I couldn’t function.

Yet, by the time that he and I had parted ways, our connection was already severed, bleeding, broken—hanging on by threads we both imagined were there.

When we met, we were idealistic, open-hearted, trusting teenagers. Three years later, we were both addicts, self-harming in our own ways, and both in …

Simplify These Things and You’ll Enjoy Life a Lot More

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“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” ~Lao-Tze

So said Lao-Tze, perhaps one of the greatest teachers the human kind has ever had.

When I committed myself to the most important journey of my life (of course I’m talking about the spiritual one), I was focused on gaining patience. I worked hard to free my mind and soul from all clutter and emotional charge.

There was one aspect I kept ignoring: getting rid of the clutter. When one of my closest friends was in my room, she didn’t wait too long …