“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~Alan Watts
Life is a free-flowing, ever changing river. Riding the rapids is frightening, and the temptation to avoid it is alluring. However, the adventure it promises is equally attractive.
We are naturally primed to adapt. Yet, the possibility of having to give up what is familiar is daunting. It can leave one paralyzed, disoriented, and unable to move forward.
In my childhood, my family kept moving across cities and often within the same city. By the time I …
“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~Lori Deschene
I, like many of you I’m guessing, am a wanderer. A student of the soul. At times it can be a bewildering path. Most days I give thanks for the adventure. Many others I wish for clarity and certainty.
But though I am a wanderer, I am not aimless: I have a path as deep and true as any other. I simply have no map to guide me, only my intuition, and the myriad teachers that cross my …
You may have found your way here after reading the May 2013 issue of Cosmopolitan.
If so, welcome! My name is Lori Deschene and I’m the founder of Tiny Buddha. I’m excited to introduce you to the site and share a little about myself, the community, and Tiny Buddha’s mission.
A Tiny Story About This Site
Tiny Buddha began on Twitter in 2008, where early followers received one daily quote. The website launched in September 2009 with one mission: to provide a space where we can all share our stories and lessons to help each other and ourselves.
I wanted …
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” ~Johann Von Goethe
Not long ago I was completely imprisoned within myself, feeling lost without any direction. Sleeping consumed most of my time. I had brief moments when I checked in on Facebook, only to get a glimpse of others’ seemingly perfect lives with holidays, parties, babies, and weddings.
This made me more miserable, as I felt I had nothing going on in my own life.
Frustration was building within me because somewhere deep inside, the dreams that I had hidden away wanted me to start pursuing …
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ~Dalai Lama
“I wish I could do it all over again,” said my grandmother on her 60th wedding anniversary.
“Really?” I asked.
A small smile crossed her face as she replied, “Yes. Because when you enjoy your life—when you really enjoy your life—it just goes by so fast. I wish I could go back and do it all again.”
There was my 80-year-old grandmother, who, in the twilight of her years, spoke to me not of regrets.
Nor did she tell me about …
“Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.” ~Unknown.
Desiderata is Latin for “desired things.” The original and famous Desiderata poem, penned in the 1920s by Max Ehrmann, gives general advice on living well.
It begins, “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence,” and ends, “Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
The overwhelming message of Desiderata is to be kind and honest, and to keep faith in all our business and personal affairs. When it comes to love, it counsels us not to grow cynical, …
“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson
We all have the fundamental desire to create an ideal world, where everyone is healthy, happy, and free of suffering. The habitual tendency we all have is to look around us, find out what’s wrong with the world, and then try to “fix” it.
While it’s true that horrible things happen around us everyday, to transform the world we all experience, we have to start with ourselves. We can only create change in the world if we first start with our own …
“If you learn from a loss you have not lost.” ~Austin O’Malley
Two years ago I lost my grandfather. He’d been ill the last time I saw him and I knew it was coming. And yet, I was still not prepared for the depth of my grief.
I had lost loved ones before, but while I had loved them, they weren’t him. He was special. He saw me.
If you know what it means to be seen I don’t need to say anymore.
If you’ve never felt seen, let me explain what that feels like: It is the very best …
“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown
“Six weeks ago the doctors told me he had six weeks to live. I don’t think he is going to survive the night.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” I whimpered, my voice barely above a whisper. ‘We don’t have any time left.”
I didn’t think that as a 19 year old, seeing my father die in a hospital was going to be something I would experience. Wasn’t he meant to grow old and grey, with me taking care of him?
Nevertheless, in the early hours of the …
“The journey is the reward.” ~Chinese Proverb
We’ve probably all heard this famous piece of wisdom at one time or another.
I’ll be honest, there were a few years where I just plain blew it off.
Like, “Yeah, yeah, journey, reward, I got it. Cool. Now, when’s my ship coming in?”
Not that I was greedy. Just impatient to arrive at a place called Made It. It seemed that other people were already there and I was eager to join them.
I had seen the brochure for Made It and I knew then and there, it was my kind …
“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts
For a long time, I felt like I was standing on a riverbank just watching the water of life go by, too scared to jump in and play. I was waiting for the perfect current to come along that I could ride all the way to the completion of my intensely detailed life goals.
I didn’t want to move until I felt like success was guaranteed and I was certain it was the “right” thing. Life was flowing, and I wasn’t …
“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings” ~Henry Ward Beecher
I’m a calm person by nature, but like everybody else, there are a few things that get my blood, at the very least, simmering. One of them used to be inconveniences.
Our daily lives are filled with delays, missed opportunities, setbacks, and outright nuisances. It happens to us all.
Missing a bus and being late for work. Being locked out of the house for four hours when you have an urgent exam to prepare for, with all your notes …
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~ Maya Angelou
We all have our stories, don’t we?
Some stories merely create a ripple in our lives, while others go deeper. So much so that they can change the course of our lives. Dramatically.
Mine is such a story. It’s no sadder or deeper than anyone else’s. It’s just life, and how I choose to respond to it, I have realized, is what really matters.
My story was (and still is) big enough to change the course …
“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” ~Angela Schwindt
When you’re young, anything seems possible. Whether you want to become a school teacher, a ballerina, or an astronaut, it all feels within your reach.
And you so easily get excited by it.
You can visualize in vivid detail what it would be like to hold your roses at curtain call, or how proud you’ll feel when you save the day—as a fireman, a soldier, or maybe even a superhero. You pretend your way through different roles and stay …
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo Buscaglia
They say the greatest joy in life is to be able to live your passion every day, and I only had to look to my teens to remember that what I had always enjoyed doing most—working out. That’s where I wanted to go in life.
Held hostage by worries about the future, status, and money, I decided to head on a different path. I did well in college, graduating with a business degree and a double major in finance and accounting.
A few years …
“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” ~Richard Bach
There are times when nothing seems to move in the right direction. We either feel stuck or lost in chaos and confusion. Days follow nights as pages on the calendar turn into months, but you remain at the same place.
A few years back I suffered a miscarriage in the eighth month of pregnancy. I lost my baby and my dreams of motherhood. In the deep void I experienced both physical pain and mental agony.
At such times despite your efforts, the situation turns from bad to …
“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
“The shortest path between two points is a straight line.” That comes straight out of my eighth grade geometry textbook and if you can’t trust math, what can you trust?
That pronouncement rang my chime. It put words to an unspoken feeling I had had for a long time. What could be better, truer, or more perfect than the shortest path?
Kids Do the Darnedest Things
As a teenager, I started putting in place “straight lines” in my life everywhere I could impose them. I got out of bed …
“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” ~Wayne Dyer
Lately, I’ve been confronted by envy. It’s one of those negative emotions that I used to avoid taking credit for.
“I really am happy for everyone,” I would tell potential mates and friends.” And I thought I meant it.
Instead of feeling envious, which was impossible since I didn’t do envy, I would feel an ambiguous sense of dislike for the person.
My elementary school best friend who went on to become a Miss America contender? I made up a story that she was being “fake” …
“Be yourself; everyone is already taken” ~Oscar Wilde
In some ways, it may seem counterintuitive to have to learn to know yourself. Surely that should be a given, right? Not necessarily.
While our experiences clearly helped shape us into the people we are today, this does not mean that we necessarily know who we really are—what we are passionate about and what we want from life.
Since we were tiny, we’ve developed beliefs and values, some good and some not so good, as a result of our environment and the pressure from society to conform.
When I was younger, I …
“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” ~Theodore Rubin
Growing up I was a thoughtful and happy kid—carefree, easy going, not afraid to make mistakes and take on challenges.
Just before I turned thirteen, my parents moved our family halfway across the world where we knew no one.
I adjusted well, made friends, and felt content and successful in my pursuit of whatever I decided was worth pursuing. I was strong and confident. I worked hard, laughed easily and often, and felt as if I …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
