8 Things to Give Up
Source: NotSalmon.com
“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” ~Marianne Williamson
I’ve been dreaming about dead bodies again—disposing of dead bodies. Given that I have never actually killed anyone it’s probably a little weird how often this crops up for me. My dream metaphors tend to be blatant and graphic. I think my subconscious mind really wants me to pay attention to them.
I don’t have recurrent dreams per se, but I do get recurring dream themes. Lately my subconscious has been knocking me over the head with …
“If music be the food of love, play on.” ~William Shakespeare
This quote holds a very special place in my heart.
Growing up, I was always surrounded by classical music. My grandfather loved the arts, and the first song I ever sang was “Edelweiss” from The Sound of Music.
I remember recognizing what it felt like to have a big voice come out of a tiny body, how powerful and scary that was.
Years passed, along with plenty of practicing and an expanded repertoire, and I found myself going to college to study vocal performance. This was where the …
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” ~Ambrose Redmoon
It’s only 9:25am on a Saturday morning and I feel myself welling up already.
I know this is difficult. This might just be some of the hardest stuff he’s ever had to do.
I’m there. On the sidelines, watching him.
I know him so well by now and all of his little “giveaways.” His eyes looking for mine. Fidgeting.
We’ve agreed that he’ll give it a chance because he really wants to do this. REALLY, REALLY. There’s no doubt …
TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of physical and emotional abuse and may be triggering to some people.
“I say I am stronger than fear.” ~Malala Yousafzai
“Don’t be scared.” It’s so easy to say, yet sometimes, for many of us, so hard to accomplish.
When I was about three or four years old, my dad locked me in the chicken coop in our back yard. This was a punishment. I was naked and screaming, literally jumping up and down with terror.
Another punishment consisted of my mother rubbing human waste in my face.
There are other things …
“Respond kindly to someone who is unkind to you.” ~Lori Deschene (from Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges, January 15)
Growing up with an alcoholic father, I was often on the receiving end of his anger. As a child, I didn’t realize his behavior was a reflection of how he felt inside and wasn’t about me at all.
I thought he was angry because I wasn’t good enough or I had done something wrong. I felt like if I could just be perfect enough, maybe he would love me. I tried and tried, but trying to be perfect didn’t …
“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Lately, I have been reflecting a lot on what I was like when I was a kid.
Back then, what I didn’t know seemed magical. It gave me room to imagine, to fill in the blanks with my own creative inspiration, and to live with a sense of wonder and awe.
I loved fantasizing and daydreaming and imagining what magical situation might be brewing in my life.
As children, curiosity was a natural and automatic part of us, and what we didn’t know didn’t scare …
“With confidence, you have won before you have started.” ~Marcus Garvey
It’s not a great feeling.
Whether it’s meeting new people, speaking in front of a crowd, or learning a new skill, that inner knowing that you just aren’t feeling strong enough to competently complete the task ahead festers inside you.
I’ve had this feeling on numerous occasions.
As a kid I developed a fear of speaking out which emerged from a deep discontent with my body image, which translated later into a fear of socializing and public speaking.
I would have thoughts running through my mind such …
“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron
You wake up in the morning, it is sunny outside, and you are grateful for this brand new day. You are enthusiastic to get it started. You take a deep breath and go outside; then you see some gum in your street.
Will you pick it up and stick it to your T-shirt, or maybe even have a little taste of it? Of course not!
Please excuse the gross opening, but bear with me for a second.
So many of us have done something just like that, …
UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway are:
“Just like the characters of a movie, you are a character in the show called ‘Life.’ Are you in a starring role? Or are you a supporting actor?” ~Shannon Kaiser
Do you ever feel like could be doing more with your life? Like you’re holding yourself back in fear and not reaching your true potential? Maybe you don’t even know what you want; you just know what you don’t want, and yet you can’t seem to escape it.
I’ve been there quite a few times myself, and I’ve …
“When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu
Five years ago, I found myself rebuilding my life after my fourteen-year marriage ended. During those first months preceding my divorce, crushing feelings of fear and loneliness often consumed me. Thankfully, I began seeing a wonderful therapist named Muriel.
Each week, I held my breath until it was time for my appointment, when I could curl up on Muriel’s sofa and exhale all my anxieties.
One week, when I was particularly overwhelmed, Muriel gave me the number of the local Crisis Hotline and insisted that …
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself . . .” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
You’ve heard that quote more times than you can count.
You’ve also made fear-based decisions; we all have.
Looking back, you can point to times it has happened and caused you to fall short of what you could have achieved.
It has certainly has happened to me.
I was three years into my first career as a high school science teacher. I had always wanted to live abroad, specifically Mexico, and I had always wanted to learn Spanish (after taking an embarrassing amount in …
“Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life.” ~Mandy Hale
Everyone wants to be happy, but not many people contemplate whether or not they really are.
Some of us feel too privileged to not be happy, while others don’t want to face the possibility that we might not be. Here are nine truths about happiness to help you think a little more deeply about what it really means.
To be human means that we experience a range of emotions. If you were to …
“Your largest fear carries your greatest growth.” ~Unknown
I was twenty when I met him. A naive apprentice of love, I plunged into romance with no fear and I was left speechless.
It was all so new and thrilling, all I had ever dreamed about and more. It’s hard to describe how strong our bond grew in such a short time. We knew we had met our perfect match; we knew we would spend the rest of our lives together.
But one day it all suddenly became too good to be true: he confessed he had cheated on me.
My …
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ~George Addair
My parents were teenagers when they had their first of three children. I was the middle child. They were uneducated, poor, and had very difficult upbringings.
As I recall my childhood, most of what I remember is how fearful both of my parents were.
They were constantly stressed out about money, the kids, the tattered house, the rusty car, and everything else in their lives.
My mother, my first role model, was so scared of the world. She definitely had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. She was afraid to …
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.” ~John Lennon
When it comes to facing fear and moving past it in order to see my dreams realized, I was always advised to power through it. Do the thing that scares you, no matter how much it makes your heart pound. Take that step that makes your stomach knot up in tight balls. Do it and power through, or else miss out …
“But feelings can’t be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.” ~Anne Frank
As a sensitive person, I have a complicated relationship with my feelings. They are the sensors I extend out into the world, to pull it in. They are the guides that help me decide what works or doesn’t work for me. But there are also times when my feelings rise with such force that I am left gasping for breath.
Then, I am tempted by the thought that not feeling so much would have definitely made things easier.
And yet, I don’t feel all my …
“If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” ~Roman Price
For years and years I was in denial. I denied the obvious dysfunction in my marriage, and how terribly unhappy I was in it.
I told myself over and over that things would change and get better, that it wouldn’t be this way forever, and that I could find a way to be happy with how things were.
I had long given up hope that my spouse would change, but I have to admit, I joyfully splashed around …
“Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I lay in bed staring into the darkness feeling physically ill with an acute sense of anxiety the like of which I hadn’t experienced in quite some time.
It felt like I had a soccer ball sized, black, …