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Posts tagged with “goals”

Why You Should Do That Thing You’ve Always Wanted to Do

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“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller

In March this year, I did something I had wanted to do since the age of nine: I had my first piano lesson. At the time I was nearly thirty-five, so it had only taken me twenty-six years to get around to it.

Why the delay? Well, when I was little, we couldn’t afford lessons, but looking back I see that was only an excuse until I got my first part-time job at sixteen—which means that the last nineteen years of procrastinating were entirely down to me.…

5 Tips to Help You Take Action to Overcome Your Fear

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“Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.” ~W. Clement Stone

I made it all the way to my thirtieth birthday without learning how to drive. After I turned twenty-one, people often asked me why I hadn’t learned yet. My go-to story was that I lived in a place with abundant public transportation options and never had any intention of buying a car.

The truth is that I wanted to learn, but I was terrified, and the fear grew with each year.

What if I got in an accident? What if people laughed at me for learning so late or …

5 Tips to Help You Stop Limiting Your Potential

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“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield

I learned one of my biggest lessons in life when I ran into a high school bully many years ago. He was totally different from the last time I saw him. He was now passionate about life and adventure, and he looked very happy.

He had a thriving textile trading business and he was set to open a clothing store in less than a year.

After hearing his story, I couldn’t help but feel ashamed of myself.

I realized that in my resentment toward …

How To Keep Yourself Motivated When You’re Not Feeling It

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“A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well.” ~Unknown

I’m great with short-term goals. In fact, I prefer them. Work my butt off for a few months to reach a goal? I’m down with that. I’ll give up a social life, down time, spending money, eating yummy food (read: sugar), drinking alcohol—whatever it takes, for the short-term. Long-term goals… ugh, not so much.

Despite this preference for pretty immediate gratification, I have followed through with many long-term goals in my life (school and various trainings, long-distance relationships, starting and re-starting businesses, to name a few).…

7 Tips for Pursuing Your Passion, Even If You Feel Behind

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“Don’t worry about what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

From center stage I looked out into the crowd as the stage lights warmed my face and did their best to obscure my vision.

In the half-light of the seating area I spotted the faces of family, friends, many other members of the local jazz community, and other people who had come out to support me. Smiling. Clapping. Congratulating.

I didn’t feel happy. Not exactly. The situation was too surreal to …

4 Tips to Help You Keep Going When You’re Filled with Doubt

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“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting like a snowflake.” ~Francis Bacon Sr.

“Just research, research, research. That’s what grad school is.”

It seemed as though that was all I was hearing from my professors, and it wasn’t helpful.

Since returning to school to get my master’s degree, I had maintained a 4.0 average, but I also hadn’t taken more than two classes at a time. Until now.

When I enrolled for the fall semester, I chose to take twelve …

When Things Don’t Go As Planned: Transform Disappointment into Action

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“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” ~James Joyce

I’ve had a bit of experience with disappointment. I got very motivated to change my relationship with it when I was in my twenties and starting my acupuncture practice.

I knew it would take time to build my client base; what I didn’t realize, or more likely was in denial about, was that a very effective way of doing that was by arranging public speaking gigs. I absolutely hated public speaking. Big disappointment.

I also didn’t consider how much work running a business really was. I had to talk to …

Developing Self-Compassion When You Don’t Think You’re Enough

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“He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.” ~Lao Tzu

I’m at war with enoughness.

My stomach isn’t flat enough; I’m not extroverted enough; I don’t have enough money in my wallet; I’m not creative enough; I’m not getting enough work done.

There are times when the Jaws of Life cannot free me from my expectations and negative self-talk. The battle with enoughness is a vicious cycle. 

Here’s an example: I’m both shy and introverted, so I’m afraid of being judged and I prefer quiet environments.

I was easily overlooked in school because I was reluctant …

Why Resistance Isn’t a Bad Thing and What to Do About It

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“Worry looks around, fear looks back, faith looks up, guilt looks down, but I look forward.” ~Unknown

I moved houses a couple of weeks ago. It was the perfect opportunity to take a break, pause and reflect, and decide on the directions I wanted my small business to take.

And I did just that: I rested, took the time to think and get über clear about what I wanted to do next and how, revamped my offerings, made a super duper inspiring goal list and… decided that getting to know our neighbors’ cats was far more fascinating than, you know, …

Learning to Enjoy the Process and Stop Worrying About the Outcome

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“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you” ~John De Paula

Remember the Tasmanian Devil?

That crazed Loony Tunes cartoon character spinning out of control, crashing into everything in his path? Arriving in a blur. Leaving chaos in its wake.

That was pretty much me and my approach to “living my passion.”

This is hard to write but here goes (deep breath)…

Not too long ago I was seriously trying to accomplish all of these things at the same time:

  • Play in a rock and roll band of middle aged men living in New
…

It’s Not Over: Failure Is Success in the Making

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“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” ~James Joyce

Everyone has a story of failure and disadvantage—those things we wish were done differently, better, or not at all. Take these stories for instance:

A speaker intending to be unifying and encouraging onstage leaves the audience disappointed and bored instead.

A lone manuscript is rejected by publishing houses over twenty-seven times, dismissed as too fanciful, fake, and “never gonna sell.”

A poor eleven-year-old boy, deprived of toys his entire childhood, trudges through sleet and snow on his newspaper route in order to help support his family.

An author struggles to …

When You Fear Things Might Not Work Out: 3 Helpful Tips

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“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” ~Mark Victor Hansen

This summer, after three years of dreaming, my daughter and I moved from the city I’ve lived in all my life to my dream city six hours north.

The season of summer is known as a time when plants fruit, grow, and bloom. In order to harvest new crops we have to have a clear field and clean soil to plant in, right?

Before we can grow new things, we need to look hard at what isn’t working for us, …

4 Massive Motivation Killers and How to Overcome Them

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“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller

For the entirety of my life I have had an external source of structure.

I’ve very much thrived when both guided and held accountable by others. You could say that I’m a “systems” friendly person and have always felt safe and secure when I can simply follow the guidelines or instructions and then arrive at the intended destination.

The only problem is that I didn’t always create the “intended” destination. In fact, it usually wasn’t even where I wanted to be. It was where I thought I …

15 Reasons to Start Following Your Dream Today

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“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

Do you have a dream? A wish? A desire?

Do you ever wake up and wonder: What would it be like to love life?

People can tell you “follow your dream,” but is anyone really doing it?

Not someone in a TV show or movie—a real, living, breathing human, just like you?

Is it possible?

The Depression

Three years ago I couldn’t sleep. Night after night, I’d lie awake at 2am. My heart would pound in my chest.

The anxiety overtook me. I welcomed it. …

When Following Your Passion Makes You Miserable

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“The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now.” ~Robert G. Ingersoll

It seems that in recent years people have really started waking up to the fact that they can do what they love, which is great. But what’s not so great is when it makes you miserable.

Finding your passion can become another goal to be achieved in the future.

Suddenly you find yourself believing that if you could just find that perfect passion, your life would be perfect and then you’d finally be happy. But life doesn’t work that way.

You already …

Try This If You’re Struggling to Find Your Passion

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“Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

For the past three years, I’ve been in the throes of a quarter-life crisis.

Just a few months into my first cubicle-bound job, I had the life-altering realization that most everyone comes to eventually: I’m going to work a job every day for the next forty-plus of my life. If I want to make that enjoyable, I need to be living my purpose and engaging my passions.

Knowing that life is …

Discover Your True Joy: 5 Ways To Find What You’re Really Chasing

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“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown

When my last relationship ended, I found myself suddenly questioning what my goals honestly meant to me. I had focused my past five years steadily chasing a very specific dream with this woman (creating joy, art, and a community in NYC, adopting some dogs, and eventually moving back to California to start a family together).

At least that’s what we thought we were chasing.

When we realized that our lives together had become static, that we lacked engaging …

5 Steps to Overcome Fear and Meet Your Goals

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“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela

The world can be a scary place.

As we go through our daily lives, we face many challenges, and often these challenges can bring about fear. We may fear the loss of something, or perhaps the lack of fulfillment. We may experience fear when going on a job interview or a first date.

The greatest challenge with fear is that it can hold us back from achieving our goals, but it doesn’t have to.

Over the past six months I have let one …

The Rabbit Hole of Stuff: Why We Can’t Buy Our Way to Happiness

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“Happiness can only be found if you free yourself from all other distractions.” ~Saul Bellow 

When I was twenty I bought my first serious piece of furniture.

It was a sofa covered in a nubby sort of fabric, a creamy shade of white with tan and light brown threads woven through that made the modern style seem warm and welcoming.

It was beautiful. And on the day my sofa arrived, I celebrated. I celebrated not only a beautiful addition to my little apartment but also a step into adulthood.

After all, I bought it on credit, and I was thrilled …

Stop Asking Yourself Questions That Keep You Stuck

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“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” ~Dennis Waitley

We often see success stories about people who have achieved something big. They inspire us and on some level show us that it is possible to achieve our goals.

However, they rarely help us deal with what goes on in the middle, the point in between starting something new, when we’re full of energy and excitement, and actually succeeding.

That middle part is generally not pretty. How do you tackle that middle bit?

Let’s …