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Posts tagged with “happy”

4 Things I Needed to Accept When I Was in Transition and Felt Insecure

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“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.”-  Robert Tew

I want you to picture this. You are standing on a mountain, and in front of you is a taller mountain with a prettier view. Between the mountains is 100,000 foot plunge to the bottom, filled with jagged rocks. You know that you need to make it to that other mountain and that the only way for you to do so is to jump—but for some reason, you cannot move.

This is what transition feels like, especially when you have to make …

3 Questions That Help Me Stop Worrying About Things I’ve Said and Done

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“If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.” ~Dalai Lama

Another sleepless night had passed, with me worrying about whether I’d said the wrong thing to my colleague yesterday or if the tone of my email I’d sent was too critical.

They were not the only things that kept me awake.

I would go out to dinner with friends and say some ‘bad’ …

Soften into Life and You Will be Strong

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“It’s the hard things that break; soft things don’t break…You can waste so many years of your life trying to become something hard in order not to break; but it’s the soft things that can’t break! The hard things are the ones that shatter into a million pieces!” ~C Joybell C

Language is a powerful thing. Though often dismissed as “semantics,” the imagery our words and terminology impart often adds unintended or even misguided connotations onto what we intend to say.

This is why it is so difficult to speak about spirituality. When we say “God” or “salvation” or even …

How to Accept Anxious Feelings So You Can Let Them Pass

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“Don’t try and save yourself. The self that is trying to be saved is not you.” ~Mooji

Three months ago I had a strange experience.

It wasn’t strange in that it had never happened before. It was strange in that it was unexpected. Unexpected in the way a hiccup comes up out of nowhere to interrupt a meal. No, actually, it was more unexpected in the way a sudden illness overtakes a period of health.

Just for a bit of context, over the last six months, I’ve generally been the calmest I’ve felt in years—maybe even my whole life. But …

Be Good to Yourself: 10 Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love

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“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown

It was one of those nights.

I was in a busy New York bar, having fun and enjoying myself. That was, until someone asked me: “So, what do you do?”

Within a few seconds my fun, happy, playful side vanished and in entered a girl full of doubts and insecurity.

The truth was… I had no freaking idea about what I was doing! I had just left my corporate job and now I was on a journey to …

The One Realization That Helped Me Forgive Myself and My Father

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“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
~Maya Angelou

Sunlight shone through the living room window. A lazy Sunday afternoon. I lounged on the couch reading a book with my dog cuddled at my feet. My love had just set out to purchase a new set of acoustic guitar strings. Soon he would return, and music would fill our home, adding to my sense of blissful peace.

The telephone rang. I could see from the caller ID it was my father. “Good,” I thought. “It’s been a few weeks. I wonder …

5 Practices That Helped Me Reclaim My Spark for Life

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“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” ~Robert Tew

In 2014, I was drowning in unhappiness. I had moved to Palestine five years earlier, later met my husband, and decided to remain in one of the most conflicted countries in the world.

There I was, living in a different country far from the comforts of home that I had always known. My marriage was rife with conflict and pain, and I had nobody to turn to.

I had no family nearby, and with the high turnover of internationals in the country, …

5 Ways to Calm Your Mind When You’re Exhausted (Without Meditation)

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“Calm your mind. Life becomes much easier when you keep your mind at peace.” ~Unknown

Let me start with a confession.

If I’m honest with you, even just writing these words actually makes me feel kind of uncomfortable.

But I’m going to say it because it’s true, and some of you reading this are going to realize that on some level you probably share the same feeling.

I hate meditation.

Now, let me do the obligatory defend-the-shocking-thing-I-just-said.

I mean, to be more specific, some days I hate meditation.

Most of the time, I love it. I really love it. …

Letting Go of the Victim Label: The Past Will Not Define Me

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of domestic violence and sexual abuse, and may be triggering to some people.

“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” ~Unknown

It wasn’t long ago that I lived my life as a professional victim.

It wasn’t intentional, but somewhere along the way I had internalized the fact that my victimhood gave me an excuse to remain stuck. As long as I was a victim, I had a reason to wallow in sadness and self-pity, a reason to not move forward, and sympathy …

Why I’ve Upgraded to a Drama-Free Relationship

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“Love is not what you say. Love is what you do.” ~Unknown

I used to think that true love should be passionate and intense. When someone broke up with me or treated me poorly, I’d imagine that he really didn’t mean it. Surely he was really a good person and truly loved me, but was just “going through something” or “needed space.” Eventually he’d be back with tears, apologies, and flowers.

I’d like to say I outgrew this tendency by the age of, well, maybe forty, but the fact is I didn’t.

Instead, I carried a torch for a recently …

Why Trying to Feel Good Can Make You Feel Bad

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“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” ~Paulo Coelho

We’re bombarded by images of people living apparently perfect lives. They suffer no bereavements or breakups or losses or failures. They look perfect, make perfect choices, and act perfect.

Everyone seems to love them as they sail from success to success, with zero misfortunes, mistakes, or regrets.

So, it’s easy to believe that we, too, need to be perfect.

I had a simple definition of success when I was younger. It was whatever made others admire, or at least accept me.…

What to Do If You’re Not Passionate About Anything

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“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” ~Unknown

I’ve always believed in the benefits of having a healthy, strong body.

I admit, as a young adult my healthiness was driven predominantly by fear. Fear of being fat. Fear of being sick. Fear of missing out at events (aka FOMO).

So, I went to the gym, I ran, I dieted, I had strict rules, and if I followed them I’d be okay… or so believed.

From my daughter’s perspective, I wasn’t much fun to live with. She …

How to Stop the War in Your Head and Find Peace

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“A mind at peace does not engender wars.” ~Sophocles

There’s a classic Buddhist story about two monks who come upon a woman at the edge of a river. One of the monks carries her across and they continue on their way. Several miles on, the other monk turns to the first and says, “How could you do that? We have made vows never to touch a woman!” The first looks serenely at him. “Are you still carrying her? I set her down at the edge of the river.”

This is exactly what our minds do, if we aren’t careful: We …

Radical Acceptance with Tara Brach: If You’re Hard on Yourself, Read On

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Have you ever thought, “Something’s wrong with me”? I suspect we all have at one time or another.

We’ve thought we’re too quiet, too loud, too eager, too lazy, too sensitive, too dramatic, or generally not good enough.

And social media doesn’t help much. Every time we log on to Facebook or Instagram we’re bombarded with everyone else’s accomplishments, adventures, and best angles, which can easily lead us to conclude our life is somehow lacking—that we are somehow lacking.

From there, it’s just a quick leap to self-flagellation.

We can all be our own harshest critics. We can beat ourselves …

The Difference Between Letting Go and Running Away

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“It’s about our ability to leave our death on the battlefield of life. Or having the strength and courage to give them our love and to bring them back.” ~Edward Frenkel

It took me almost twenty years to realize that running away from ourselves isn’t the same as letting go. That realization, as with so many others, came at a time when I was at one of my lowest points.

The day everything changed began as one of the worst of my life.

I was struggling with the breakup of a long-term relationship. We’d been due to move in together …

How and Why I Stopped Binge Drinking

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“Good habits are hard to form and easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to form and hard to live with. Pay attention. Be aware. If we don’t consciously form good ones, we will unconsciously form bad ones.” ~Mark Matteson

I am an extreme person. I have always done things at 100%. I worked my hardest in high school in order to attend the best college so that I could attend the best graduate program so that I could get the best job earning the most money. I not only went to these institutions, I did very well at …

4 Things a Wise Man Taught Me About Making the Most of This Short Life

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“The goal is to die with memories, not dreams.” ~Unknown

As we stood holding hands under that great oak tree, I had never felt more surrounded by love. It was simultaneously the most wonderful and haziest moment of my whole life as we said, “I do.”

It had really happened. I had married my best friend.

We made the decision to bring our wedding forward a year after my husband’s dad, Ian, had been diagnosed with cancer. In nine months we had planned and executed our perfect wedding day. And he was there.

We drank and sang and danced the …

Accept Yourself Unconditionally (Even When You’re Struggling)

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“Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself.” ~Nathaniel Branden

Have you ever thought that you accepted yourself fully, only to realize there were conditions placed upon that acceptance?

There was a point in my life when I realized I had stopped making tangible progress with my emotions, self-esteem, and habits. I’d made some profoundly positive shifts that remained with me, like eating healthier, practicing yoga, and phasing out negative friends. You could say I was “cleaning house” in a sense—getting clear on what I wanted my life to look like and discarding the rest.

I …

The World Would Be a More Peaceful Place If…

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How to Find That Something That Feels Missing

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“The spiritual path is simply the journey of living our lives. Everyone is on a spiritual path; most people just don’t know it.” ~Marianne Williamson

I remember it as if it happened yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst tightening of my chest that I had ever experienced. My heart was racing uncontrollably, my hands were clammy and cold, and nothing I did brought relief.

I prayed. I chanted. I tapped. I prayed and then prayed some more.

I thought I was going to die. I started to immediately regret all of the …