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Posts tagged with “healing”

Forgiving and Refusing to Let Bad Things Change Us

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“Humbleness, forgiveness, clarity and love are the dynamics of freedom. They are the foundations of authentic power.” ~Gary Zukav

It was a little after 9:00 PM when my mother’s next-door neighbor called upset, hysterical even. Within seconds of hearing her voice, I knew something wasn’t right.

I was getting one of those calls that everyone dreads. Deep breath. She said that my mother had been brutally attacked and had been taken to the hospital.

Breathe Leslie.

“What happened?” I asked in my calmest voice, trying hard to listen and not react. “Where is she? What hospital?”

A family friend had …

Stop Pushing Yourself: 10 Crucial Steps to Avoid Burnout

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“I actually think burnout is the wrong description of it. I think it’s ‘burn up.’ Physiologically, that is what you are doing because of the chronic stress being placed on your body.” ~Richard Boyatzis

Some years ago, when my mother told me that a friend of hers had experienced burnout, I didn’t really listen. Actually, I didn’t want to hear about it. I even felt irritated because she felt sorry for people who got burned out.

My opinion was that they were just being ridiculous and exaggerating.

It was an excuse, supported by a medical certificate from some doctor they …

How to Take Care of Yourself When You Feel Like Shutting Down

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“Displace the pain. Put it in a camera, in a story, in a poem, in a song, in a lover, in a canvas.” ~Unknown

As an aspiring mental health counselor, I’m a huge advocate for self-care. I think it’s extremely important to educate people about the benefits of taking the time to nourish our souls and to give ourselves some TLC.

I have several go-to ways I like to take care of myself, from practicing yoga to immersing myself in nature to writing to taking the time to mindfully apply my favorite lotion.

I find myself engaging in these …

When You’re Hurting and Healing: Give Yourself a Break

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“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress, which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown

Often these days, I would like nothing more than to move forward. If I could only figure out which way was forward, I would definitely start heading in that direction. If you couldn’t already tell, I’m going through a break-up, the most major break-up of my life so far.

Again, I’m often disappointed that if I were to check a box to describe my “relationship status” it would most likely be “It’s complicated.”…

I’m Not Broken, and Neither Are You

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” ~Marianne Williamson

I used to have this secret habit of flipping through the DSM—The Diagnostic Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders—and diagnosing myself with every disorder in the book.

Reading over the criteria for borderline personality disorder, cigarette in hand and eyes wide open, I scanned the diagnosis criteria.

Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment? Check. Unstable and intense interpersonal relationships? Check. Unstable self-image? Check. Impulsivity that’s self-damaging? Check. Suicidal behaviour? Check. Unstable moods? Check. Chronic feelings of emptiness? Check. Inappropriate and intense …

Releasing Painful Memories to Live More Fully in the Present

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“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.” ~Eckhart Tolle

For thirteen years I’ve lived a high-risk lifestyle that focuses very much on the here and now, because I’m an entrepreneur, and that means making lots of fast decisions that affect the future.

It took a while for me to develop confidence in myself, as we tend to doubt ourselves much more than other people might doubt us. Our thoughts form our doubts, so I knew I had to do something to move forward from the thoughts …

Redefining Closure in Order to Move On and Get Living Again

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“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” ~Unknown

I would love to identify as someone who, when her relationships crumble either gradually or all at once, is able to wipe her hands clean and go about her life without any closure.

I fantasize about the tears, time, and energy I would save if I didn’t feel the need for closure and if I didn’t agonize about trying to have these heartfelt and “necessary” conversations with the people with whom I’ve had falling outs.

For years, I was shackled to the belief …

Healing the Past

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Source: Simple Reminders

Healing from Heartbreak and Loving Life, No Matter Your “Status”

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“Getting over a past relationship is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

I recently stumbled into a clothing store where everything was full of life and color, until I saw the sales clerk.

She had obviously been crying. I perused the merchandise and hesitatingly asked her a question about an item. Tears welled up in her eyes and she said, “I’m sorry, I’m so overwhelmed. My boyfriend just broke up with me.”

I wasn’t prepared for that answer, but as I looked at her more closely I saw …

How I Broke Free from Depression When I Felt Suicidal

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“I’m stronger because of the hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, and happier because I have known sadness.” ~Unknown

I was diagnosed with clinical depression and prescribed anti-depressants when I was twenty-one years old. I refer to this point in my life as the “Dark Ages.”

Leading up to grad school, I’d suddenly become afflicted with incomprehensible despair.

At seventeen, for the first time (at least for the first time I could remember), I considered suicide. I felt as if life should’ve been more than what it was. I had a deep sense that I was supposed to …

Healing from Heartbreak: How to Lessen the Pain

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“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over.” ~Mandy Hale

Heartbreak. It’s a hard thing to go through. And the pain—it’s real, isn’t it? Like tangible pain. Almost as if that person, throughout the time we were with them, emblazoned our hearts with tiny little hooks and, one by one, they’re being wrenched out. Sounds dramatic, but that’s how it felt to me!

This recent breakup has been the most significant in my life so far. …

Can You Make Your Brain Fall Out of Love?

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“Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter.” ~Unknown

A long time ago now, but once I was in a relationship that was full of great passion and hot desire, but it was also addictive, distracting, and destructive.

When I noticed that it was ultimately bad for me, I knew I had to “get out.” So, I went cold turkey, as they say, and broke up, thinking I would be able to handle it.

Unfortunately, it was much harder than I thought it would be. Every morning I woke up and found myself in the …

Mind Over Melodrama: 5 Lessons on Self-Awareness and Healing

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“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.” ~Julius Charles Hare

In a few months it will be the two and a half year anniversary of my mental breakdown.

I don’t really celebrate the date, partially because I don’t know it—it’s not the sort of thing that you remember to mark on your calendar—and partially because my entire life since then has been a celebration of what I began to learn that night.

I began to learn about myself.

It’s been a wild ride of healing, helplessness, forgetting, and remembering. Many times, I …

We Can Be Happy Despite Pain from Our Past

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“Think of all the beauty that is still left in and around you and be happy.” ~Anne Frank

At first glance, the happiest person I’ve ever met appeared to be a simple man. There didn’t seem to be anything particularly sophisticated or spiritual about him.

Srulik was five-feet tall, with a big round belly and a wide smile permanently plastered on his face. He enjoyed the small things in life: a good joke, a familiar television show, a wholesome meal. He radiated such joy, and was so unassuming in his demeanor that one would assume he was blessed with an …

You Are More Than Your Past and Your Pain

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“We are like the little branch that quivers during a storm, doubting our strength and forgetting we are the tree—deeply rooted to withstand all life’s upheavals.” ~Dodinsky

I began struggling with anorexia and bulimia in high school, a development that, in part, stemmed from sexual abuse.

I internalized my struggles and made them a part of me, leaving me with feelings of shame, guilt, unworthiness, and despair. I had completely lost connection with my authentic self and instead, took on the roles of “ruined,” “broken,” and “worthless.”

If you had asked me who I was three years ago, I would …

How to Turn Pain into Strength and Wisdom

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“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown

Some would say that when it rains, it pours—a fitting statement for the events that have recently taken place in my life.

In mid-September my life took an unexpected turn. My wife, to whom I had been married for only four months (having been together for six years prior), had been acting strangely toward me.

She was suffering from fits of depression that would range from her sobbing on the couch to sitting by the fireplace, drinking heavily while listening to songs that would make your heart …

The Stage of Grief You’ve Never Heard of But May Be Stuck In

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“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

Since I was a little girl I have believed in the power of wishes. I’ve never missed a first star, a dandelion plume, or load of hay (load of hay, load of hay, make a wish and turn away) to express to the universe my deepest desires.

When I was fifteen and my dad was at the end stages of cancer, I …

Self-Forgiveness Is Essential

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How to Get to the Shore When You’re Drowning in Pain

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“The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Pain can feel like a dark cave with no light to help us find our way out. Or an ocean with waves so big we feel like we can’t ever swim to the shore. Peace is the place we arrive at when we swim to the shore, up and out of the pain we were drowning in. But how do we get there?

For most of us, the first thing we do when we’re in pain is look for somebody to join us …

Moving Beyond Pain to Find Happiness and Meaning

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“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~ Unknown

Most of us have experienced a day or event in our life that changes us forever.

I remember that day vividly, and it still invokes incredible pain in my heart. It was the middle of the night in February. I was twelve years old, and I awoke to my mother screaming and crying to my brother that our dad was dying. He died in his sleep from a massive heart attack.

I will …