“Lean too much on the approval of people, and it becomes a bed of thorns.” ~Tehyi Hsieh
I remember reading somewhere that the best way to face a fear is through repeated exposure.
In the case of my lifelong need for approval, I have found this to be true.… Read More
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou
We’ve all done it, right? Somehow, somewhere, something bad happened to us and since that moment we’ve continued to tell ourselves the story about what might and could go wrong in our future.… Read More
“The things you own end up owning you. It’s only after you lose everything that you’re free to do anything.” ~Chuck Palahniuk
Small is the new big. That is to say, minimalism and living with less is becoming a growing movement in America and it’s starting to catch on over here in the UK too.… Read More
“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
For a long time I have struggled with episodes of anxiety. At times, I’ve gotten a feeling of crushing fear that occurs even in situations that most people consider to be safe.… Read More
“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle
Who am I? This is a question that haunts us all at some point, especially when the people around us are trying to constantly answer this question for us.
How do we remain true to ourselves in a world that is constantly trying to make us something else?… Read More
“In this world of change, nothing which comes stays, and nothing which goes is lost.” ~ Anne Sophie Swetchine
I’ve always been a “cat guy.” This was long before my Buddhist friends told me stories of how cats are true earthly masters, here on earth to show us the way.… Read More
“You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown
There’s nothing perfect about me and I’m ok with that…now. This wasn’t the case for most of my life, though. In fact, I’ve been a perfectionist for almost 30 years. I’m not counting the first five years of my life when I was free to be as messy and magical as I wanted.… Read More
“Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength.” ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
Last night, I discovered the tiniest of creatures in my shower: a minute scorpion, no larger than the average human fingernail.
I could not for the life of me work out how it had ended up here because I live on the third floor of an apartment building in a busy South African city.… Read More
“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.… Read More
“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama
It’s probably happened to you. In all likelihood, it has happened multiple times in your life thus far.
You don’t understand why it happens. And when it does, it can throw you into the deepest valleys of despair.… Read More
“Growth begins when we begin to accept our weaknesses.” -Jean Vanier
I used to believe the word “healed” had a very specific meaning. In my mind, it described a state of perfection that always looked very different from the chronic health challenges I endured.
Being born with VACTERL Association, a birth disorder that causes malformations in six of the body’s systems, meant that I entered the world needing a lot of fixes.… Read More
“Breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Things fall apart so things can fall together.” ~Unknown
“I’m sorry,” the email said, “but our phone call left me feeling uncomfortable, and we’ve decided to work with someone else.”
I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Even though I saw it coming. Even though I’d brought it on myself.… Read More
“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” ~Deepak Chopra
A personal tempest blew through the doors and windows of my life and I am forever changed. Think major upheaval in every area of your life. Conjure Dorothy Gale, Robinson Crusoe, Job, yeah them.
In the process, I’ve learned that the disorienting storms of life are not just about survival but of learning to thrive.… Read More
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Toward the end of last spring I was feeling a little restless in Los Angeles, so I decided to take some time in the summer to live on a yoga retreat in Hawaii.… Read More
“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
For much of my life, I lived for approval and acceptance from family members, friends, and co-workers. I can’t recall not considering what one thought about my actions or what I had said, wondering if I could have done them better.… Read More
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela
The world can be a scary place.
As we go through our daily lives, we face many challenges, and often these challenges can bring about fear. We may fear the loss of something, or perhaps the lack of fulfillment.… Read More
“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take the action. Take the action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron
How do you feel about anger? Growing up, I always felt that anger was “bad.” In school and at home I learned that anger made people do “bad” things, and anger was a source of “evil” in the world.… Read More
“Meaning is not what you start with but what you end up with.” ~Peter Elbow
As a boy, I had a romantic notion about having a job where I traveled for business. It sounded so important and stylish. I liked the idea of dashing through airports to my next big meeting.… Read More
“If you learn from a loss you have not lost.” ~Austin O’Malley
The police officer walked toward me, leaving the multi-car accident behind him as he placed a bloody wallet in my hand. He asked me to open it up and verify that this property was indeed my best friend’s, who also happened to be my only brother.… Read More
“Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.” ~Alice Duer Miller
As an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a relative, I had become accustomed to keeping secrets. Silence, I was taught, was a good thing. It protected people that I loved.
So for over a decade, I carried the dark and overbearing weight of my past in secrecy and in silence, believing I was the only one in the world who’d ever experienced such abuse—until I learned from a college workshop that one in four women and one in five men fall victim to sexual abuse by the time they are eighteen.… Read More