Teach Your Child to Be a Good Friend Because…
How I Stopped Putting Everyone Else’s Needs Above My Own
“Never feel sorry for choosing yourself.” ~Unknown
I was eleven years old, possibly twelve, the day I first discovered my mother’s betrayal. I assume she didn’t hear me when I walked in the door after school. The distant voices in the finished basement room of our home drew me in. My mother’s voice was soft as she spoke to her friend. What was she hiding that she didn’t want me to hear?
I leaned in a little bit closer to the opening of the stairs… She was talking about a man she’d met. Her voice changed when she spoke of …
The Only Way to Form Meaningful Relationships with People Who Get You
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” ~Jim Morrison
When I left my full-time position at an ad agency and ventured out on my own, I had a clear goal in mind—to connect with like-minded people who align with my highest good. As far as how I was going to do that, I had little clue.
My life was full of relationships built from forced, sometimes toxic circumstances where we found each other out of need or convenience. I am grateful for each of those people because they were there when I needed them most, …
How I Created Opportunities in a World Full of Obstacles
“I really want to, but I can’t because [add semi-valid reason here].”
That’s a template sentence to let yourself off the hook.
It’s not copyrighted, so feel free to use it any time you want to let go of your dreams and not feel bad about it.
Honestly, it hurts me every time I hear someone say it. I see it for what it is—an excuse.
Every single one of us has ambitions, hopes, dreams, and goals. We fantasize about them on our commutes to work and before we sleep. We talk about how we will one day achieve …
Recognizing Our Human Goodness May Be the Most Radical Act We Can Take
Most of us can be way too hard on ourselves, when life is already hard enough. We spend our days taking an inventory of all the ways we’re falling short, tell ourselves we’re not good enough, and even question our basic goodness, as if there’s something wrong with us at our core. I know I’ve done this countless times before.
When I respond harshly instead of pausing before reacting or make a mistake I keep making over and over again, it’s easy to conclude I am fundamentally bad or damaged, or else I would more consistently do better.
Then, waddling …
The Relief of Letting Go and Living Fully Despite My Anxiety
“We only live once, Snoopy.” ~Charlie Brown
“Wrong. We only die once. We live every day.” ~Snoopy
I am an anxious person. I haven’t always been though. When I had my first child, fourteen years ago, it was the week after my father died. My son was born and went right to the NICU where he spent the first fourteen days of his life. In that moment, I changed. I’d already had one miscarriage. I couldn’t lose anyone else.
Man, life is fragile. I spent the next decade making sure he played on the swings at the park, but not …
Why We Often Fail When We Set Big Goals and What Actually Works
“You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.” ~James Clear
If you pull up any popular motivational video today, you’ll probably hear things like “Set big goals!” and “Aim high and don’t stop until you get there!”
After watching a video like this, you may get inspired and start mapping out your plan to leave the 99% in the dust.
And typically, because you’re riding a wave of motivation, you’ll write out these monstrous, Mount-Everest-like goals. These goals paint a picture of your life that is so exciting that …
Why “Find Your Purpose” is Bad Advice and What to Do Instead
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” ~Pablo Picasso
I was fifty-two when I found my purpose. I wasn’t even looking. It literally just smacked me upside the head. That’s a funny thing about life. It throws things your way, and you either grab them and run with them or you turn a blind eye and walk on by.
I used to turn a blind eye. I don’t anymore. These days I’m taking in all that life tosses my way. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
How
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Where Our Inner Critic Comes from and How to Tame It
“Your inner critic is simply a part of you that needs more self-love.” ~Amy Leigh Mercee
We all have that critical and judgmental inner voice that tells us we’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc.
It tells us we don’t do anything right. It calls us stupid. It compares us to other people and speaks harshly about ourselves and our bodies. It tells us all the things we did or said “wrong” after communicating or connecting with someone.
Sometimes it projects criticism outward onto others so we can feel better about ourselves. Other times we try to …
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