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Search Results for "depression" — 781 posts

The Technology of Joy: Tools for Happiness (Interview & Book Giveaway)

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Update – The winners for this giveaway are:

  • D. Arturo Gutierrez
  • Preston Cox
  • Kathleen Han

If you’re anything like me, you may think that technology can be both a blessing and a curse.

Sometimes I lament that we now live in a world where tiny screens often hinder real-world engagement, and social media can create pressure to entertain an audience our peers by sensationalizing our everyday lives.

But then I remember that technology is just a tool, and its affects depend on how we use it. Sure, technology can create distance and exacerbate the struggle to be authentic, but it …

Healing a Broken Heart: It Will Get Better

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“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

I thought I went through my last breakup a few years ago. I thought I had paid my dues, cried my share of tears, and dealt with some deep wounds. I thought I was done. I was happy and in love, and talking about moving in with my boyfriend.

One day we took a little vacation. We laughed and explored the desert excitedly talking about our dreams. Three days later I found myself sobbing on the floor of my tub, …

When Something Has to Change: How to Push Yourself to Take Action

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“The truth you believe in and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” ~Pema Chodron

At some point, there comes a defining moment when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you just can’t keep living the way you’ve been living.

You know that something has got to give and realize that you only have two options—either change or stay the same.

The idea of having to choose either one of those options feels absolutely unbearable, so you find yourself trapped between the two, in this awful purgatory of indecision.

That’s exactly where I was trapped: …

How to Feel Your Feelings and What That Will Do for Your Life (Everything!)

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“You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” ~JK Rowling

Sometimes the last thing we want to do is feel our feelings. Because feeling can hurt.

Feeling can make you cry in the laundromat.

Feeling can make your face unattractively red in the frozen food aisle.

Feeling can make you think this whole being human racket is not the best way to spend your time.

If you’ve been stuffing your feelings back into your rib cage whenever they try to break for the light, this is especially true. I know, …

Clear Your Emotional Clutter and Open Up to Joy (Interview and Giveaway)

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UPDATE – The winners for this giveaway are:

  • C
  • Lori Pacheco

When I was in my early twenties, I spent three months in a residential treatment center in a last-ditch effort to heal from depression and bulimia. Among many different treatment modalities, I participated in an experiential therapy that involved a ropes course and other adventure activities.

One day, along with a dozen other frail women, I strapped a backpack full of tennis balls on my back and climbed to the top of a rock wall. It was hard enough to walk on some days; getting to the top with …

The Key to Breaking Painful, Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

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“Forgiveness is just another name for freedom.” ~Byron Katie

Aside from the fact that I was born on Groundhog Day, I didn’t know why I kept falling into the same relationship patterns, which inevitably led to heart-crushing breakups.

I knew that I had a deep capacity to love, or so I thought, but it somehow wasn’t enough. I always ended up either feeling taken for granted or fighting desperately for my partner’s attention after the initial attraction phase wore off.

I couldn’t help becoming someone else, someone I thought I needed to be in order to avoid being abandoned. …

6 Healthy Ways to Shed Layers of Emotional Pain

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“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin

Do you remember a time when you wanted to crawl under the bed and stay forever?

Perhaps you’d been dealing with chronic pain and anxiety, had recently experienced divorce or the loss of a loved one, maybe even lost a job or two. I had experienced all of these things in just a few short years, and, judging by the loud knocking as I hid, was about to have my car repossessed, too.

I …

Why Stress and Pressure Can Actually Be Good for Us

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“A diamond doesn’t start out polished and shining. It once was nothing special, but with enough pressure and time, becomes spectacular.” ~Solange Nicole

It’s one of the last days of summer, and I wake up to my mother screaming.

I’m ten, and I pull off the covers and sneak to my door. Opening it slowly, I peek out and look down the stairs.

Men have stormed into our house. Ignoring my mom, they head into the living room, pick up the sofa, and throw it out on the lawn. They do the same with the dinner table and the rest …

Healing Through Service: 20 Ways to Help Others (and Yourself)

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“To ease another’s heartache is to forget one’s own.” ~Abraham Lincoln

A feral cat tempered my most recent bout with depression. I wasn’t seriously depressed, nothing like the debilitating times in my past, but I had a fairly strong case of the blues.

It was just before Thanksgiving, that time of year when people across America break bread with family and friends, and I was feeling sorry for myself.

I missed the gatherings we used to have when I was married. My ex-husband and I both loved to cook and every year we put together a gourmet feast for a …

The Truth About Social Anxiety and 5 Ways to Relieve It

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“Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us, when in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from being seen and taking flight.” ~Brené Brown

About fifteen million adults suffer from social anxiety according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Fifteen million. And we’re not just talking about what you’d call shyness. We’re talking about big fears of judgment and scrutinization from others.

When we hear statistics it can be difficult to remember the humanness of those numbers. These are people who want to find love, who want to make …

No Matter What You Tell Yourself, There Is Nothing Wrong with You

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“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” ~Bronnie Ware from Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

I wish I could remember the exact moment I mis-learned that being myself wasn’t going to cut it.

It happened early. Maybe kindergarten. I didn’t do it consciously, but at some undetectable moment, I put my real self in a box and created someone else. This new me was so much better—always happy, very accommodating, super quick and witty, and an expert at everything.

This new me was almost impossible to …

7 Steps to Overcome Daily Despair and Start Living Again

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“If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.” ~Maya Angelou

Have you ever felt really stuck? Like every day was a struggle to get through and you knew in your heart the next day would feel the same?

For the last seven years—since the crash of 2008—I’ve been redefining myself, and it’s been painful.

In 2009 I opened an Internet retail store, knowing nothing about retail, let alone the intricacies of the Internet.

After years of hard work and little to show for it, every day began to …

Who Says We Have To Be Happy All the Time?

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“Develop a mind that is vast like the water, where experiences both pleasant and unpleasant can appear and disappear without conflict, struggle, or harm. Rest in a mind like vast water.” ~Buddha

When I think about having to be happy all of the time, I feel a certain kind of pressure. Sure, it’s different now then it was. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t cycles when I question everything.

Sometimes I can catch myself thinking that everything would magically fall into place if I had all the success I want in my career, the happily-ever-after relationship without any issues, or …

We Deserve Love Even When We Do Things We Regret

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“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown

Do you have parts of yourself that you’d like to change? Maybe even parts of your personality you’re a little embarrassed by?

I do.

And if I started to list them I probably wouldn’t know where to stop.

I can be a complainer and whiner. Even worse, I sometimes turn into a martyr and feel sorry for myself. Other times I’m overly impulsive and have been known to have a really erratic temper.

But the thing is, we’re not our behavior. Often …

4 Tips for Managing Stress from a Combat Veteran

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“Buddha was asked, ‘What have you gained from meditation?’ He replied, ‘Nothing.’ ‘However,’ Buddha said, ‘let me tell you what I lost: anger, anxiety, depression, insecurity, fear of old age, and death.’”

“I never get stressed.”

I used to say and think this all the time when I saw someone freaking out about an upcoming test, a bad grade, relationship problems, or a boss or coworker.

I had a false sense of being “carefree” because I wouldn’t get stressed over the trivial things that most people did.

I was a “battle hardened” soldier recently back from a deployment in Afghanistan. …

How Your Expectations Can Hold You Back and Keep You Unhappy

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“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportions to my expectations.” ~Anonymous

I used to be quite the model student. I thrived at university and seemed to be meeting all the expectations of our milestone-society.

Having chosen a Business Masters at a well-established university in the Netherlands, I was being schooled for a corporate career in a multinational firm, which I thought was what I wanted for myself.

I was led to believe that a shiny-bright future was waiting for me as soon as I acquired this magical piece of paper, and who doesn’t want …

Why We Don’t Need to Try So Hard to Be Better

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“To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it.” ~Unknown

I’ve always been an overachiever. In sixth grade, I spent weeks memorizing over five pages of the poem “Horatius at the Bridge” for extra credit, even though I already had an A in the class.

When I started therapy in my mid-twenties to deal with depression and panic attacks, I turned my overachieving tactics to self-improvement. I spent hours journaling, going to meetings, talking to mentors, reading books, and beating myself up when I fell into old habits.

I always worried: Was I doing it right? Was I …

Increase Your Self-Love: 8 Ways to Be Good to Yourself

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection.” ~Buddha

Someone asked me a couple of years ago out of ten, how much did I love myself? I said four. I had to give my immediate, intuitive answer, as this was the honest truth.

Four! That came as a shock to me. It’s low. I thought I was pretty good with myself. I’m smart, multitalented, not bad looking, generally happy, I have lots of friends and enjoy life.

But now the truth began to shine. With introspection I could see why the …

12 Ways to Turn Your Crippling Stress into Happiness

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“More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.” ~Roy Bennett

You are a slave to stress.

I can relate. Stress crushed my life and dreams.

I started a business and faced intense criticism over this decision.

Everyone was sure I’d fail. My friends and family attacked me while I was combating my own self-doubt.

My stress level was insanely high.

Then the worst happened. My business failed and I lost all my savings. I was crushed.

It took a long time to finally accept this failure.

Today, whenever I work, stress still …

The Pain Won’t Go Away Until We Learn the Lesson

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“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron

Wounds I thought were healed began to burst open after a recent breakup. I had obviously not learned the lessons I was meant to years ago.

As a child I put 100% effort into everything I did, from schoolwork and swimming training to leadership positions. I remember feeling so sure of myself.

I drew my confidence from many areas of my life. A good student, swimming champion, school captain… I had my life sorted. Although the swimming accolades and A’s on my report …