“We meet but briefly in life, if we touch each other with stardust, that is everything.” ~Unknown
We had baked chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy that evening. It was the kind of hearty meal that warms you up on a damp March night.
As I said goodnight, I couldn’t have imagined that in just a few hours I would return to my parents’ house and everything would be changed forever.
But so it goes. Nothing in life is permanent.
I’ll never forget that phone call. I felt everything drain out of me and then it seemed as though …
“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” ~Lao Tzu
I recently took seven weeks off of work and rented a place in Laguna Beach.
The trip was meant to be a relaxing vacation and possibly a change of residence; it turned out to be a wakeup call.
I started the trip out by going on my first date since 2010. The pollen count was high, and my sinuses were none too happy. I’m still not sure if it was being on a date or the medication that triggered so much anxiety…
“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~Lao Tzu
For most of my life I had the overwhelming feeling that I was lacking something. I felt like I was not good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough.
I was nothing but an unattractive, chubby girl of little worth. In my late twenties I formed a huge crush that changed my life, for the worse, or so I thought. Against my will, I developed an unbelievable attraction to women. I was horrified!
Being gay was the cherry on top of my pile of …
“Letting go give us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I stood alone in what had been my childhood bedroom, staring at the dresser with a familiar discomfort. My fingers clutched at the handle of the second drawer from the top and pulled hard, straining from the weight of its contents.
I reached in with both hands, the drawer with its quarter inch plywood base teetering dangerously on the edge of the frame, and lifted them out, one by one.
Unicorns, fairies, rainbows, mystical maidens, all disappeared as I placed the journals into the …
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~Anthony Robins
I used to be an angry person. And I was happy about that. In fact, I prided myself on that identity during high school.
So devoted to the young and vapid demographic, I would stand in front of the bathroom mirror and practice the eighties version of the mad dog stare. In the eleventh grade, I decided smiling wasn’t hip, so I stopped.
I wore surly like the Goth kids take to all-black attire. My friends thought I was cool because I said what I felt and …
“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” ~Buddha
I spent most of my life running. I ran from people, commitments, physical locations, and most of all, myself. And if I wasn’t running, I was definitely thinking about it.
I always had great excuses. I wasn’t happy, didn’t fit in, wasn’t comfortable—the excuses were never ending. I was rarely content. So in late 2010, I decided that the best solution was to sell everything, uproot, …
You may have found your way here after reading the May 2013 issue of Cosmopolitan.
If so, welcome! My name is Lori Deschene and I’m the founder of Tiny Buddha. I’m excited to introduce you to the site and share a little about myself, the community, and Tiny Buddha’s mission.
A Tiny Story About This Site
Tiny Buddha began on Twitter in 2008, where early followers received one daily quote. The website launched in September 2009 with one mission: to provide a space where we can all share our stories and lessons to help each other and ourselves.
I wanted …
“Feelings are real and legitimate.” ~Unknown
I’ve been thinking about pain lately.
It’s come up for me more now since my sister, Susie, has been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.
Susie and I are close in age—just 15 months separate us—and close in friendship and love. So I worry about her.
She’s an electrician and needs to be able to use her hands on a daily basis for wiring, splicing, drilling, and all of the other myriad things electricians do.
But, of course, her hands are right where the arthritis has chosen to reside currently.
She told me that some days …
“Be yourself; everyone is already taken” ~Oscar Wilde
In some ways, it may seem counterintuitive to have to learn to know yourself. Surely that should be a given, right? Not necessarily.
While our experiences clearly helped shape us into the people we are today, this does not mean that we necessarily know who we really are—what we are passionate about and what we want from life.
Since we were tiny, we’ve developed beliefs and values, some good and some not so good, as a result of our environment and the pressure from society to conform.
When I was younger, I …
“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” ~Unknown
Lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and massive machines, I seriously considered the possibility that I was having a nightmare. Everything felt so surreal.
At 22 years old, my life was full of promise and potential. I had recently graduated from college and it was a time of beginnings. I was living in Manhattan and had begun working in music publishing.
I had no idea that a late night trip to the emergency room due to a rapid heart rate would result in a weeklong hospitalization.
When …
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.” ~Anne Lamott
I originally planned to write this post a month ago. The topic was interesting, and it was one that I was sure most people could relate to. I mean, who hasn’t wrestled with the issue of perfectionism at some point?
One after another, notions and examples of perfectionism flowed steadily from my mind onto my notepad. And when I ran those ideas by a few friends, each of them shared their own stories about how the need to be perfect at something had negatively affected their lives.
Simply put, there was …
“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
Recently, I had one of those flashes of insight that burn away the illusions I learned as a child in a dysfunctional family and help me see myself in a new light. I saw through an invisible belief that I’ve held for a very long time—the belief that I am not in control of my life.
Standing in line in the grocery store and twiddling my thumbs, my monkey mind ran through the list of what I could be …
“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” ~James Allen
I know now that I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t even have to try to be perfect. I used to think that things did not come to me because I did not try hard enough. Not true!
The truth was, I was sabotaging myself.
In college in Switzerland, instead of going to that school event or even answering the people who tried to talk to me, I shut myself down and ignored people.
I was afraid of being rejected …
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” ~Steve Furtick
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had issues with the way I look. Back when I was at school, I stood out, being one of the only Asian students in a small English village. This heightened my awareness of how different I looked in relation to my peers and started my obsession of comparing myself with others.
It is often stated that adolescence can be a painful period in everyone’s life, and mine was no exception. By …
“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” ~Buddha
I’d like you to meet someone. He’s me and he’s not me. What I mean is, he’s inside me—a part of me.
His story goes something like this: “I need to be the best at whatever I do, but no matter how hard I work, I will never be the best because the world is unfair.”
For most of my life he’s been carrying around this impossible task, and it has really weighed me down. He’s caused me a lot of pain and anxiety, and …
“Peace begins with a smile.” ~Mother Theresa
Minor things can trigger bad days, whether it’s a having a tiff with your roommate, getting stuck in traffic, or just waking up on the wrong side of the bed.
As a fitness instructor, I’ve found that one negative comment from a member in a class can completely derail an otherwise happy day.
Someone in one of my fitness classes once griped about my music selection after what I thought was an amazing class. It almost drained my entire high, but after hearing from the other 99.9% of the class that was sweaty …
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” ~Steve Furtick
Have you ever wondered when the turning point was? When did you start questioning yourself and believing you were missing something? When did you stop thinking of yourself as invincible and start noticing what others called “flaws”?
As a teenager and young adult, I struggled with severe depression and anxiety.
In my early twenties, I entered treatment for my eating disorder, a decision that proved to be life-changing in the most positive of ways.
During my second stint in treatment, I …
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~Unknown
As the days have continued on past the beginning of the New Year, my discontent has been growing as I’ve been thinking (or worrying) about how unmotivated I feel.
The holidays have come to a close, the New Year began, we made wonderful goals for ourselves, and yet, I’ve begun nothing. I wanted to write another article, keep up with my blog(s), organize my house, work on my finances and my fitness, and start new projects.
The holidays were rough to get …
“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is: a dissatisfaction with self.” ~Joan Didion
For a few years in the late 90s, I had a date with the green-eyed monster every other Monday at 6:00 PM on the dot.
That was when my women artists support group met in my friend Anne’s studio.
For those three hours, like clockwork, the envy monster took over my body, mind, and spirit.
Oh, how I wanted a studio like Anne’s! Wide open space for her to paint, high ceilings, natural light through clerestory windows, a small office for her computer …
“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~Lori Deschene
In February of 2011, I went to see my doctor because I was suffering from severe headaches that I figured were associated with using computers all day at my law job. After having a few tests, the doctor said that I wasn’t doing well and he suggested that I take a leave from work to focus on my health.
The next few months, I found myself in and out of doctors’ offices, medical labs, and hospitals on a weekly basis. With …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
