Stay True to Yourself
3 Keys to Feeling Happy, No Matter What Happens
“Look at what you’ve got and make the best of it. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” ~Proverb.
The year 2013 was the happiest of my life.
Not because it was the most perfect or problem free year. In reality it was as messy, sad, and as difficult as any previous year.
In October I looked at the last correspondence between my biological father and me for the first time since his suicide years before. I felt as devastated as the day he died. Healing is a much longer journey than I’d imagined.
Around …
Being True to Ourselves and Forgetting What Other People Think
“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker
The day that I realized that I was trapped inside of my life was an ordinary day. I woke up, dressed myself, drove to work, and applied makeup to my assigned actors and actresses. It was a groundhog day filled with my usual routine as an entertainment makeup artist.
I settled into my chair on set and watched as the director directed and the cameramen captured the scenes on tape.
The vibration from my …
How Pain from the Past Can Be a Gift in the Present
“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown
Don’t hate your past. No matter what it contained or what it did to you, the past shapes who you are, not just for the things you felt damaged you but for the lessons you can take from it.
I love working with the people I call the world shakers. They’re the people who want to make a difference in the world so that they leave it in a slightly better way than they …
How to Really Live Instead of Merely Existing
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins
“Come here and take Dora out to get some milk.”
With those simple words, I knew my father’s time was short. Not a man to ask for help, I knew that milk was just an excuse to get me to come to his side.
My father was a gruff, angry, bitter man who had sealed himself off from nearly everyone. I spoke with him at 7:00 am every Saturday morning for fifteen years. In those conversations he complained about …
Amazing Piano/Vocal Performance from a Blind Teen with Cerebral Palsy
Seventeen-year-old Marlana VanHoose has had more than her fair share of challenges. Born blind with human cytomegalovirus, she wasn’t expected to live beyond her first year. She beat those odds, only to be diagnosed with cerebral palsy at two years old–the same time she learned to play the piano.
Now, fifteen years later, she performs for crowds of thousands, inspiring with her angelic voice and indestructible spirit.
How to Wake up Every Morning on Top of The World
“You get peace of mind not by thinking about it or imagining it, but by quietening and relaxing the restless mind.” ~Remez Sasson
What’s the first thought that goes through your head when you wake up in the morning? Is it deliberate, or is it the default “Oh shi#$, it’s 6:00!”?
If that’s how you start your day, then it’s likely your day will be filled with anxiety and stress. It’s not exactly the most productive mechanism for getting things done.
Questions are quite powerful if used in the right way.
25 Ways to Be Good for Someone Else
“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” ~Unknown
When I was a teenager, right around the time I knew everything, my mother used to tell me I only remembered the bad things.
When I told stories about my family, they didn’t revolve around family beach trips, barbecues, and vacations; they focused on painful memories and all the ways I felt my childhood had damaged me.
The same applied to friends and milestones in my life. I chronically remembered and rehashed the worst experiences.
In fact, straight through college I followed up every introductory handshake with a dramatic …
How to Start Feeling Confident, Worthy, and “Enough”
“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” ~James Allen
Low self-esteem is like a garden weed. Uproot it while it’s small, or face the consequences of an unruly mess down the road.
Its true, I have gone to extreme lengths to supplement my low self-esteem. Hair colors, tattoos, new hobbies, new jobs, moving in, moving out. I was always waiting for there to be “enough.”
Enough what? Enough things where I could rest, feel satisfied, and be “equal” to everyone else. However, even though I often got what I wanted, …
3 Vital Lessons on Living a Life That Won’t Lead to Regret
“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brene Brown
Even though I’m a psychologist who has been working in the field of development and assessment for the last thirteen years, sometimes it still takes more than reading a theory in a book, or even seeing something work with a client, to make it real for me.
Here are three of the moments that have had the most impact on me and the way I live my life.
1. Each of us has the power to
…
How to Stop Limiting Yourself and Feel Fully Alive
“You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” ~Brian Tracy
I like my comfort zone and I hate it. It’s safe, but if I stay there too long it starts to feel like a cage. No wild creature is happy in a cage, and we’re all wild creatures at heart.
Sure, we like the reliability of being well fed, clothed, safe, and loved. It’s my theory though (formed just this second) that we are meant to hunt, to seek, to struggle, to engage with a world that offers no guarantees.
Like …
Why It Doesn’t Pay to Put Wealth Above Health (and 3 Tips to Get Fit)
“Man surprised me most about humanity. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” ~The Dalai Lama
It was three in the morning. The mean, destructive words that someone had said to me back in high school were replaying in my mind like …
How to Change a Life and Make the World a Kinder Place
“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~John Holmes
Have you ever been stressed and cranky and having a terrible day when someone was unexpectedly kind to you?
When this happens, it lifts your mood and changes your state of mind. You want to hold on to that feeling of goodwill. Maybe even pass it on.
Everyday Kindness
The Dalai Lama said, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
It is always possible, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes acts of kindness for people in our lives can be more difficult …
Why It’s Okay to Be Self-Centered Sometimes
“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.” ~Herman Melville
I grew up with a faith that encouraged personal sacrifice for others. Putting myself before others or desiring what they lacked was sinful. So there I was, during my teenage years, trying to be a saint, completely unselfish when thinking or interacting with others.
I must admit that I was always in the equation.
If I gave advice to others, I did it for them but also for the good feeling of improving their lives. If I helped someone else solve their math …
Reclaim Your Power: Stop Waiting for Other People to Make You Happy
“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou
My knees hit the pavement, unable to hold me up as I watched my entire life purpose drive away.
I had put my entire heart and soul into that relationship. I had sacrificed everything—my family, my friends, my career, my hobbies. And now I had nothing. What had gone wrong?
I lay there for a while, quite convinced that the pain and unhappiness was going to be the end of me. I wallowed in the misery of it all.
Then something touched my face. I brushed it …
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