Forgive All of Your Thems
When Nothing Feels Like Enough: Filling the Void of Spiritual Need
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” ~Marcus Aurelius
I recently met a woman at a friend’s dinner party. She was tall and attractive, yet had a glowing, inviting energy about her. I liked her nearly immediately even though I had no concrete reason to. In my myopic mind, attractive and genuinely inviting energy do not combine, and I was naturally drawn to her for this combination.
Just as the Universe would have it, the woman and I were seated next to each …
6 Effective Practices for a Peaceful, Positive Mind
“To ensure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.” ~William Londen
We often focus on nourishing our bodies, with fitness and nutritious food, and forget that to function at our optimal level and experience overall well-being, it is equally important to nourish our minds.
Years ago I wasn’t doing either, and eventually I got stuck, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Physically, I had low energy; mentally, I was not growing; and emotionally, I was bored, resentful, and lost passion for life.
Life became a monotonous routine. I got lost in …
Can You Make Your Brain Fall Out of Love?
“Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter.” ~Unknown
A long time ago now, but once I was in a relationship that was full of great passion and hot desire, but it was also addictive, distracting, and destructive.
When I noticed that it was ultimately bad for me, I knew I had to “get out.” So, I went cold turkey, as they say, and broke up, thinking I would be able to handle it.
Unfortunately, it was much harder than I thought it would be. Every morning I woke up and found myself in the …
Dealing with a Relationship Crisis: How a Little Distance Can Bring You Closer
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to go forward.” ~C.S. Lewis
When you’re in the middle of any sort of relationship crisis, the very last thing you want to do is let go. Conflict with someone you love often makes you want to do the very opposite, especially when the other person is already doubting the future of the relationship.
When we’re feeling threated by the loss of someone we love, we act from a place of fear. Our stress hormones sky rocket as …
Living for Yourself So You Won’t Die Full of Regrets
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown
A mother was walking down the street with her two little sons. A man stopped to admire them and he asked, “You must be so proud of them! How old are they?” The mother answered, “Who? The doctor or the lawyer?”
A few days ago I heard this joke and, despite its purpose, it just made me feel sad. I was one of those children who, when turned into adults, never explored their passions and never went for their dreams.
I loved writing. I …
You’re Not Bad; You’re Crying Out for Help
“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ~Steve Maraboli
My fourth grade teacher was named Mrs. King, and she was a no-nonsense, fairly stern presence who enforced the rules and kept us kids in line. I was a timid kid who wouldn’t have dared to break rules anyway, and I assumed that Mrs. King didn’t like any of us, especially not me.
The only time we left Mrs. King’s classroom was to have our hour a week of “Music,” which meant trouping off to a downstairs room that contained a piano and a slightly manic …
The Suburb Without School Buses
I love what the Cleveland suburb of Lakewood does for their children. Unlike other cities, that bus children to various elementary, middle, and high schools, Lakewood has created a bus-less system for their 5,800 students.
Their morning walking commute fosters a sense of community and provides an opportunity to get both fresh air and exercise before settling in for a day of learning.
Unlike the Lakewood students, we don’t all live within two miles of our workplace, but seeing how their morning walk affects them serves an excellent reminder to get up, get moving, and get connected with the people …
The Key to Happiness: Accept Yourself & Stop Seeking Approval
“Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation, then deciding what you’re going to do about it.” ~Kathleen Casey Thiesen
I think many of us get caught in a vicious cycle of thinking that leads us to believe we can only be happy if we gain acceptance from others. We think to ourselves, “The only way I can ever love myself is if others do.”
This leads us down a path of self-deprecation and hopelessness. We end up making decisions purely for the sake of gaining approval and acceptance, when really we should make decisions …
Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability and Unlocking Your Power
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami
Wanting to avoid pain and shield ourselves from it is natural—and, by the way, completely not possible, because as we close up to protect ourselves against pain, we also block out the light that reflects from it.
Despite our best efforts, the boundaries that we’ve built around our hearts to protect us from feeling pain, discomfort, and hurt are the very chains that keep us tethered to it, disallowing us from feeling the opposites—joy, love and passion.
Only in embracing …
How Meditation Can Help You Find the Perfect Friend
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I meet with a lot of people who say things like, “Oh, I’ve tried meditation before but I’m just not good at it.” When asked to explain, the most common answer is, “I just can’t make my mind get quiet.”
I’ve heard responses like this so often that I’ve come to realize that this is the single greatest misunderstanding about meditation. In truth, meditation is not about calming our mind or achieving a state free …
Mind Over Melodrama: 5 Lessons on Self-Awareness and Healing
“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.” ~Julius Charles Hare
In a few months it will be the two and a half year anniversary of my mental breakdown.
I don’t really celebrate the date, partially because I don’t know it—it’s not the sort of thing that you remember to mark on your calendar—and partially because my entire life since then has been a celebration of what I began to learn that night.
I began to learn about myself.
It’s been a wild ride of healing, helplessness, forgetting, and remembering. Many times, I …
Developing Confidence Without Becoming Arrogant
“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.” ~Seneca
I used to labor under the gross illusion that confidence was elusive, like a Sasquatch.
Or fleeting, like a shooting star.
It’s there for a moment, then poof! Gone.
Did I dream it?
To deepen this illusion, I believed that only a select few were anointed with confidence by an unseen hand upon their birth (this same mysterious hand also granted natural athletic ability), leaving the rest of us to muddle through, solely reliant on glancing blows of confidence that would hopefully show up …
Overcoming the Worst Part of Finding Your Passion
“You gain courage, strength and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Finding my passion made me fat.
Not fat in an “I have to wear a Homer Simpson Mumu” kind of way, but in an “I eat cookies and chocolate all the time and I’m not sure what happened to my muscle. Oh, and these pants, they don’t really fit anymore” kind of way.
I always was a stress-eater. Not early in my life, but as soon as I arrived, confused and distracted, into the world of corporate …
Ending a Toxic Relationship: When It’s Time to Say “No More”
“Worry less, smile more. Don’t regret, just learn and grow.” ~Unknown
The day finally came when my heart was strong enough to speak up.
I had spent many years trying to be the calm, sensible one. The one who would try to rationalize my sister’s behavior just to keep the peace.
For years the strategy was to keep everything in its place and accept what was said, done, or requested. The day finally came when the weight of accepting the burden was too much to bear.
No amount of talking would convince my sister that I was being reasonable. It …
When Someone Blames You: How to Cope with Misdirected Anger
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” ~Robert Brault
My ex-boyfriend is angry with me.
I met him soon after he had broken up with his then fiancée, and he thought he was ready to move on, but wasn’t. After many months of messing me about, we ended it. I cut off contact because it still hurt me and I still cared for him.
Eventually, I wrote to him to see if I could get some closure and to consider if we could salvage a friendship. His reply was scathing, vitriolic, angry. He blamed …
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