Healing the Past
An Inspiring Video Against Cyberbullying
In honor of bullying prevention month, MusEffect teamed up with poet Azure Antoinette to create this beautiful PSA to inspire action against cyberbullying. Though the video features a troupe of student dancers, there’s a powerful message in here for all us, children and adults alike.
When We Try to Change Others and Avoid Ourselves
“I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves.” ~Jim Rohn
This is indeed a fact—a fact I took a long time to learn.
You may argue that we help each other change, and it’s true. But the deepest truth is that only we are responsible for our own growth.
The most difficult work is the seemingly minuscule shift from resistance to willingness, which allows us to face the difficult things we’ve been hiding from, and only we can do this for ourselves.
I had boyfriends who had issues. One of them lacked ambition; he was already lost …
How to Heal from Heartbreak and Allow Love into Your Life
“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson
Love terrifies me.
After having loved, courted, and married the love of my life, things went sour. Over the course of a few years, our marriage crumbled and our relationship came to a sudden halt.
When you’ve only been with one person, loved that person to the core, and believed that person to be your soul mate, you take the breakup unusually hard.
Yes, tears. Yes, sorrow. Yes, seclusion. Yes, withdrawal. Yes, not wanting to get out of bed.
I experienced every symptom of heartbreak …
The Art of Reflection: Feel Your Way to a Happier Life
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.” ~Steve Jobs
One of the best ways I’ve found to develop wisdom is through reflection. While reflection might look like a quiet session of daydreaming, it’s actually an active process during which you enrich your life and encourage personal growth by reviewing parts of your day or your life.
It was January 2001 and I was sitting in New York’s La Guardia airport waiting for my flight to Atlanta. I had moved to New York to attend a graduate program there, and in spite of doing …
Lessons from a TV Detox: Stop Watching and Start Doing
“Action may not always bring happiness but there is no happiness without action.” ~Benjamin Disraeli
Back when I was a ballroom dance instructor, I never watched TV. This was because online streaming wasn’t yet available, and I worked Monday through Friday from 1pm-10pm.
But over the past couple of years (and in a new career as a solo-preneur), it’s become way too easy to watch TV episodes on my computer. My one or two favorite shows a week turned into binge watching other recommended series.
It all started out innocently enough. I enjoyed it as a way to unwind. …
How to Change What You Feel and Believe About Yourself
“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” ~Robert Gary Lee
A year ago, I began to accept that I was depressed, and had been for a long time. It was scary. I broke up with my live-in boyfriend of almost three years, quit my job, and though I didn’t want to, I moved halfway across the country to move back in with my parents.
I was a wreck; all of the feelings that I had been suppressing for years, some literally since childhood, came flooding back. My only defense in the past had been to ignore these feelings, though I …
How to Find Peace and Balance When Dealing with Change
“Change is the only constant.” ~Heraclitus
Have you ever noticed how many transitions we go through all day?
The transition from waking up to getting out of bed, from PJs (or au natural) to clothes, from red light to green light, from inhale to exhale. Every waking moment is a transition.
Why, then, are we, as humans, so uncomfortable with change?
We want everything to stay the same, but at the same time, crave variety. We grasp so tightly to how we think things should be (did she not hear that I wanted extra foam on my latte?) and, simultaneously, …
Don’t Try to Become the Best, Be Your Best Right Now
“Do the best you can, from where you are, with what you have, now.” ~African-American proverb
When I first started on my spiritual path, I desperately wanted to live in a more connected and satisfying way. I had a secret longing to know who I truly was and to finally reach my creative potential—not only as a writer, but also as a person. My intention was to express mastery through spirituality.
At the time, this made perfect sense. Spirituality, for me, was connecting to the creative part of myself—that invisible, powerful place where anything is possible.
A …
When You Don’t Know What You Want Anymore
“We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself.” ~Lloyd Alexander
There was a time when I looked at the world without hope. My future felt dark because I didn’t know what I wanted to do.
I felt like I was a random player in a chaotic game. I didn’t like it, and I didn’t like life.
Luckily, I stumbled onto resources, ideas, and practices that helped me reconnect to my wisdom, my heart, and my interests.
I applied what I learned, and clarity emerged.…
Why Conflict Isn’t Bad (And How to Make It Easier)
“Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional.” ~Max Lucade
I used to do everything I could to avoid having conversations that could potentially be challenging or difficult—even resorting to lying or obfuscation if I really felt backed into a corner.
I didn’t have a good template for what healthy conflict looked like, so every challenging conversation felt like a minefield where I could be attacked, blamed, or shamed at any moment.
As I got older, and especially as I started dating and getting involved in longer-term relationships, I realized that conflict was actually an inevitable, even necessary, part of co-existing …
Why People Reject Us and What We Can Do About It
“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl
There’s probably no worse feeling in life than the feeling of being rejected. Whether it’s from the opposite sex, a friend or family member, or co-workers, the feeling that our presence is not wanted or no longer welcomed can cause us to feel hurt and become defensive.
I’ve learned a couple of ways of dealing with rejection when it arises in various situations, and for taking the sting out of it.
The first thing to realize is that rejection isn’t personal. Not really, anyway. …
Creating Lasting Happiness and Filling the Void Within
“Happiness is not a goal. It’s a by-product of a life well lived.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I don’t care what you do or what you become as long as you’re happy. Just be happy.
This has been my mother’s well-intentioned maxim throughout my life. As much as it is an example of her unconditional love, it is also a pretty massive request if you think about it, and something I could not seem to be. Ultimately, I failed because I wasn’t happy.
If she’d wanted me to be a brain surgeon, I could have given it a shot. I’d have known …
Can We Auto-Correct Humanity?
Such an important message. From the YouTube page: You need not delete your social networks or destroy your cell phones. The message is simple: be balanced, be mindful, be present, be here. 🙂
How to Set Strong Boundaries and Overcome The Need to Say “Yes”
“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche
Just a few short years ago, I would have relished in being called a “yes person.”
I loved that label. I thought it made me approachable, helpful, and charitable, and I loved being “top of mind” for so many people and wonderful opportunities.
Big project at work? I was there. A shoulder to cry on? You bet. A shopping buddy? Sure, I’m available! An exercise partner, a counselor, an interior designer, a cook, a cleaner, a proofreader, a tour guide—I …
6 Surprising Tips for Overcoming Exhaustion
“We are so used to working that not working is the new hard work.” ~Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You know that feeling just as something bad is happening that you can’t control, when your stomach does a backflip, lurches up into your throat, and then drops into your toes?
I experienced it one day snapping back to full consciousness as my car glided off the left shoulder of the freeway and spun in a full 360-degree circle on the gravel.
I’d logged a very busy week at work, been to a music group practice, done some freelance editing, and gone for …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.