Life’s Strong Winds
Man Teaches Amputees in South Sudan to Make Arms
“When you look at a picture of a boy with bandaged stump arms, what do you do? Do you just, ‘Aw that’s too bad,” and close the computer and go to bed?”
Not Mick Ebeling. What an amazing man. What an inspiring mission. What a powerful reminder of what we can do when we care.
Addicted to Approval: Reclaim Your Self-Esteem
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
The past few years have been full of hard but necessary lessons that I needed to learn about my relationships with others—their limits, boundaries, what healthy relationships are and are not.
I realized that the foundation for some of my relationships (the unhealthy ones) was my need for attention and approval. This, of course, was futile, because we can only truly feel good about ourselves despite outside opinions.
Because I felt inadequate and overly self-critical due …
Transform Your Relationship by Assuming the Best Intentions
“Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.” ~Mildred Barthel
I used to think he was out to get me. The man of my dreams was continually plotting to undermine my happiness in countless ways, all for some mysterious reason I couldn’t comprehend.
“Can you give me a ride to work today?” He missed his shuttle on the morning I had my first speech, a forty-five-minute drive in the opposite direction. He obviously didn’t want me to succeed in my career.
“Are you wearing that tonight?” Oh great, just before we go out to meet …
How to Use Comparisons for Growth Instead of Feeling Inferior
“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~Jack Kornfield
Comparison is something we all struggle with at one point or another. Although it’s something that conventional self-help wisdom urges us to avoid, it’s also a way of gauging where we fit in the world.
Usually, when we engage in comparison, we do so from an ego-based perspective and find ourselves (or others) lacking. This approach doesn’t benefit anyone involved, but, until recently, this was my predominant experience of comparison.
I also had the belief that healthy …
You Don’t Have to Believe Your Negative Thoughts About Yourself
“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” ~ James Allen
We all have a picture of ourselves in our minds. A picture of what we believe we are like. A picture we choose to believe no matter what.
We can cling to this idea about ourselves all we want, but that will not make it true. This is not as easy to realize and even harder to accept, but it’s an important step toward a conscious life.
I believe we all go through dark phases when our image of ourselves breaks …
The Most Important Thing to Do Before a Difficult Conversation
“You are your choices.” ~Seneca
After four years of radio silence, a former flame appeared in my inbox.
We set up a time to talk later that week. And when the day came, right on time, he called.
We talked. I had many questions. He explained the best he could. The conversation eased into Taoism and Twitter. Totally comfortable.
But for the twenty-four hours beforehand, I was bracing myself.
I was expecting long, awkward silences, angry words, and maybe even a premature hanging up of the phone. In case it’s not clear, things hadn’t ended so well with us.
And …
Taking a Chance on Happiness and Knowing We Deserve It
“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” ~Denis Waitley
I like to tell the story of how I changed my mind about myself and what I was worthy of and how that change almost immediately led me to my husband—or, rather, how it led him to me. On Craigslist.
But unlike a fairytale, we didn’t go straight from point A (boy meets girl on a sometimes-shady website) to point B (boy marries girl in the church she was baptized and grew up in, …
How Our Addiction to Struggle Holds Us Back
“Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.” ~Chuang Tzu
Do you feel, on some level, that your life is hard work? That you need to struggle in order to improve things in your world? Do you feel that you even need to struggle to reach a desired goal, to overcome adversity before achieving something worthy?
Our addiction to struggle is an impediment to us feeling the joy of quiet and the now, the place from which subtle and natural development can occur.
This addiction to struggling—the addiction to striving, always trying to achieve—used to hold me back from experiencing …
Why Life Is More Joyful When We Let Go of “Good” and “Bad”
“Love is the absence of judgment.” ~Dalai Lama
If judgment is the act of labeling something as good or bad, then it seems we humans do it thousands of times a day. Those of us on a spiritual path even label judgment as a bad thing. We know that pain comes from judgment, but it’s such a part of our culture that there seems to be no way around it.
The Dalai Lama says, “Love is the absence of judgment.” And if that’s true, how do we get there?
From the time I wake up and ask myself if I …
Pause for a Cause with Mindful in May
Today’s video is more than a cute cartoon (though I find it adorable!)–it’s an introduction to a global meditation campaign for social good.
Mindful in May is a one month online meditation campaign delivered to your inbox daily in May, to motivate you to bring a new healthy habit into your life, while raising money to help nearly one billion people on the planet who struggle daily without access to clean, safe drinking water.
Starting on May 1st, participants will commit to regular meditation through a mindfulness program delivered by daily e-newsletters. This will include weekly guided meditation downloads, cutting …
We Have the Power to Choose
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” ~Wayne Dyer
When I was twelve years old I returned from a weekend at my aunt’s house, with my mom, to find my father dead in bed. I remember my mom’s screams causing many of our neighbors to come over to see what had happened.
The experience shut me down. I don’t know how else to put it. My father was young: fifty-three years old. It was a huge shock to everyone.
Apparently, he was too proud to get a pacemaker. He died of a heart …
How to Deal with Regret: 8 Ways to Benefit and Move Forward
“Stay away from what might have been and look at what can be.” ~Marsha Petrie Sue
When I look back at some of the most painful moments of my life, I see myself sitting alone, feeling either immense shame or regret.
It’s bizarre how we can get so offended and angry when other people hurt us and yet repeatedly choose to torture ourselves, far worse than they possibly could, through repeated mental rehashing.
For the longest time, my biggest regret revolved around missing out on life.
From a distance, people always thought I had everything going for me. Up close, …
Why Self-Compassion Is the Key to Being Our Authentic Selves
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I was raised in a family where outward appearance and reputation were important. Standing out was only encouraged if it was within the bounds of what was considered “normal.”
No one ever explicitly told me, “What other people think of you is more important than being your true self,” yet that’s what I learned to believe. It became my mission to be accepted by others, because I thought that only then would I be worthy of love.…
6 Ways to Triumph Over Self-Pity and Defeat Self-Loathing
“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb
Glancing at the ceiling, I waited for the prick as the nurse began to draw blood from my vein.
My mother, patiently sitting in the chair next to my hospital bed, looked at me with comforting and hopeful eyes. This was not the way we had envisioned spending our Saturday.
My mom and stepdad had drove hours up from home for the first time to visit my college for parents’ weekend.
I had spent the past weeks planning activities and college …
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