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Search Results for "trust " — 1317 posts

Find Happiness Now Instead of Chasing It in the Future

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“You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” ~Brian Tracy

I found myself at a crossroads last year. I had reached the end of my time in college, and I had no post-graduation commitments.

I was working at the time on my applications to medical school, as I have wanted to become a doctor for a long time. However, I knew that medical schools are inundated with qualified applicants every year, but only have a few seats to offer. Thus, my vision of myself as a doctor still seemed to be …

The Most Powerful Way to Resolve Conflicts in Relationships

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“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~Jack Kornfield

I was all set to float effortlessly through life on a cloud of peace. I was trained mediator, had a Masters Degree in Peace Education, led workshops on constructively managing conflicts, and had a lifelong interest in creating interpersonal understanding. Yet, here I was, ready to wring his neck.

I’ve found it’s always easier to help others solve their conflicts than it is to deal with your own—there’s none of that pesky “emotional intensity” or “personal baggage” …

The Benefits of Flying Solo: Why I Took Time to Myself After My Breakup

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“Don’t let past relationships ruin your future happiness. Scars remind us of where we’ve been, not where we are going.” ~Unknown

I believe that the breakdown of relationships can lead to some of the most powerful lessons we learn in life.

When someone who we’ve been close to suddenly steps out of our lives, it can leave a huge emotional void. It can conjure up feelings of loneliness, vulnerability, anger, sadness, fear, and hurt, and the natural reaction is to go on a desperate mission to fill that void.

My relationship recently broke down. It was my choice, and though …

How Forgiveness Enables Us to Stop Hurting Ourselves

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“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes

I was planning a seminar event with one of my good friends. (Let’s call her “Randi.”) It was a great match; she had event planning and design expertise, and great energy in front of an audience. I understood the structure of such an event, and I authored much of the content.

It was a powerful presentation and we were going to be a great team bringing the material to life. We spent months putting the seminar together: rehearsing, setting the date, booking the …

4 Faulty Beliefs That Cause You to Push Yourself and Do Too Much

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“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” ~John De Paola

Do you ever work past the point where you know it’s time to stop? Where your body, heart, and soul are saying, “Ah, enough already,” only you can’t hear them because your mind is pushing you on?

And have you ever pushed to such an extent you become physically and/or mentally sick?

My hand is raised.

Working hard and pushing the boundaries can be stimulating and rewarding; the problem comes when there’s an imbalance for extended periods.

Meditation and silence are increasingly advocated …

How to Create a Happy Future by Accepting the Present

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“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Imagine if every night you wrote the script for your tomorrow.

You’d tuck it under your pillow and when you woke up, it would begin unfolding just like you envisioned.

The man or woman of your dreams would appear in the Whole Foods aisle you were perusing.

A check for a million dollars would show up in your mailbox, with a note reading “have fun.”

Your friends and family would call you to tell you how great life …

Releasing Negative Beliefs: How Letting Go Sets Us Free

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“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~Andre Gide

I have walked on water.

The frozen wasteland known as Chicago had kept me inside, wary of the intense cold that was breaking records that particularly frigid winter. But after interminable snow days, I began to feel like a caged animal that needed to break free.

I woke early one morning, overcome with the urgent need to connect to something living, something wild. I wrapped myself in countless layers like the kid in The Christmas Story and ventured out into the …

3 Self-Honoring Ways to Deal with Low-Energy Days

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“Being who you are is another way of accepting yourself.” ~Unknown

A few months ago I woke up with what my good friend and I call “the rage.” I was automatically annoyed by the tone of people’s emails in my inbox. I was frustrated by the lack of response from others. My tea tasted too strong. I felt cooped up in the house. Need I go on?

So I went to the gym to increase my endorphins. I figured that a good workout would be the perfect cure-all.

It wasn’t. I left my HIIT (high intensity interval training) pleasantly exhausted …

What to Do When People in Your Life Don’t Want to Change

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“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit

We all know at least one person who we think needs a self-help course or book more than we do. They’re the “wrong” ones, at least in our minds.

I once was in a relationship with a man who seemed to have placed me at the bottom of his priority list. He would always be too busy playing sports or going out with his coworkers to spend time with me.

I found myself modifying my weekend schedule to match …

Create New Opportunities by Challenging Your Judgments and Reactions

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“Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.” ~Byron Katie

“Alright, it’s time to break into groups,” said the professor.

Immediately, I thought, “I hate group work. I can’t trust other students.” Before even meeting the other members of the group, I was sabotaging the opportunity with negativity.

How often do you do this?

The six of us waited, looking at each other with blank faces.

“Okay, now it’s time to pick a group leader,” said the professor. “Each group will be assigned a psychologist to present his or her major contributions to psychology. …

How to Strengthen Relationships by Releasing Fear and Control

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“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is: a dissatisfaction with self.” ~Joan Didion

When I was a young man I had an issue with relationships. Looking back now, it is easy to see that I had low self-esteem, though I could not see it at the time. Because of my low self-image and my neediness, many relationships that could have had a decent chance went by the way side.

I developed a low-level anxiety about how much any girlfriend cared for me, which, in turn, became outright jealousy and resulted in controlling behavior.

I would …

How to Redefine Yourself by Letting Go of the Past

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“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou

When I was eight years old, my mom had her first mental breakdown. The illusion of a typical suburban family shattered as the household descended into chaos. When the counselors and child protective services stepped in, I knew: I was undeniably different.

When you’re a child, family life is the classroom through which you learn how the world works. Once my mom was hospitalized, I realized how very different my lessons were.

Mortified, I retreated into a …

How Self-Acceptance Enables Us to Connect with Others and the Moment

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“By accepting yourself and being fully what you are, your presence can make others happy.” ~Jane Roberts

I recently received one of the nicest compliments from a co-worker.

As nice as it was to hear someone validate all of the hard work I do and recognize my passionate desire to use music as a way empower people, I found that the compliment was just one, all-too-brief moment in a day dominated by schedules, meetings, and not nearly enough time for me to enjoy what was happening around me.

I should have felt great, but I was so distracted by my …

Dealing with Difficult People: 5 Effective, Compassionate Practices

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“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” ~Eckhart Tolle

It’s morning; you’re in a great mood. You’re relaxed and have plenty of time to practice your morning routine. After a delicious breakfast, you head out to start your day. Then it happens: You encounter a difficult person, and your calm turns to calamity.

We all have encounters with people who prefer to stay miserable, making everything difficult. They exist, and perhaps there was a time in your past when you once where one of those negative people. Perhaps you still can be at times.

As a …

Tending to Your Garden of Thoughts and Keeping Your Mind Weed-Free

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“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

Imagine your mind as a garden. Positive thoughts are the beautiful flowers that brighten your life. Negative thoughts are the ugly weeds that spread and suffocate the flowers.

Tending to my garden is an ongoing process.

I’m not into chemical pesticides, but my natural weed killers are yoga, meditation, inspirational reading, and hanging out with positive people.

Sure-fire weed food is worrying about what other people think, taking things personally, and stressing out about situations that don’t …

Learning to Forgive Our Imperfect Parents for Their Mistakes

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of physical abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” ~Oscar Wilde

I couldn’t tell you if Oscar Wilde’s quote is entirely accurate. You see, my biological parents abandoned me and left me with my grandparents at birth.

Growing up with grandma and grandpa was the best childhood I could have ever imagined, and I didn’t miss my biological parents at all. I guess in that sense they were my parents, and perhaps Oscar Wilde’s …

The Blessing of a Broken Heart: How Pain Can Lead to Healing

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“Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby.” ~Ruth E. Renkel

My last breakup was on April 16th, 2012.

I remember the date because on the evening of April 17th, as I sat with a blotchy red face and tears in my eyes, my dad told me I soon would remember that day and be glad I was no longer sad. “Men are like buses,” he said. “If one leaves you behind, rest assured another will come.”

I found his support very touching, but it did little to console me. If …

We’re Not Against Each Other: Choosing Cooperation Over Competition

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“If you light a lamp for someone else, it will also brighten your path.” ~Buddha

It’s long been declared that the nature of life is based on survival of the fittest; that we all must constantly compete to survive.

And maybe, in some ways this is true.

But what if there were another truth, something that is even more powerful than competition?

What if cooperation is our true natural state?

Consider this: love is more powerful than hate.

Hope is more powerful than fear.

And if we believe in love and hope, then we believe in the power of unity. …

How to Tackle the Top 6 Fears That Keep Us Stuck

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“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabel Allende

When you think of a fearless person, you might imagine a real-life James Bond who performs death-defying stunts knowing he could die at any second.

But for most of us living “normal” lives, fear operates at a subconscious level and prevents us from being the best we can be.

For a long time, I struggled with these fears. I could not get myself to speak in front of people without experiencing extreme nervousness. When it came to talking to girls I liked, …

Let Go of Shoulds and Stress and Let Yourself Do Nothing

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“When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing. Sometimes you just need to relax, breathe, let go and live in the moment.” ~Unknown

I am a recovering doing addict. My whole life I have been committed to getting things done. I do, do, do until I can’t do no more.

I have a very clear memory of myself in college, sitting at an evening lecture. I am not paying attention at all. I am writing a huge, long to-do list on the back of a blue folder.

Things keep popping into my mind, things that must get done right …