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Posts tagged with “self-care”

How to Set Better Boundaries: 9 Tips for People-Pleasers

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“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.” ~Doreen Virtue

I still have the journal entry that sparked my journey into boundary setting. It says, in striking black pen, “I wish I could speak my truth. If I can learn to speak my truth before I die, I will die a happy woman.”

Dramatic? Maybe. But I was tired of being a pushover, a people-pleaser.

I’d written it the day after I’d been the recipient of unwanted advances at a bar. For thirty minutes, a stranger had engaged me in aggressive conversation, peppered in flirtation, and …

Escape Isn’t Self-Care: What We Really Need to Feel at Peace

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“A pause gives you breathing space so listen to the whispers of the real you waiting to happen.” ~Tara Estacaan

You and I, we’re much too busy. We’re doing too much. We’re stressed. We’re overscheduled and overwhelmed. And we’re not doing enough self-care.

The good thing is there’s help. There are headlines, hacks, and half-baked gurus who promise to bring us to the less-stressed light. And there’s a vast supply of products to help too. Bath salts, wine, essential oils, yoga classes, massages, chocolate cake, books, life coach packages, etc. But sometimes I wonder, are all the articles and products …

How I Stopped Feeling Guilty About Doing What’s Best for Me

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“A good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.” ~Laurie Helgoe

Do you ever worry that if you fulfill your needs you will disappoint others? Do you ever feel guilty for doing what’s best for you?

For years, I felt guilty about taking time for myself. I thought that being alone, away from the rest of the world, meant being selfish. This was especially true in one toxic relationship that kept dragging me down because I was afraid to make a change. As a peaceful, …

How to Release Emotions Stuck in Your Body and Let Go of the Pain

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“The human mind is a relational and embodied process that regulates the flow of energy and information.” ~Daniel J. Siegel

We are emotional creatures, and we were born to express emotions freely and openly. Somewhere along the way, however, many of us learned to repress emotions, especially those deemed “negative,” in order to fit in, earn love, and be accepted. This was my experience.

I grew up in a home where the motto was “Children are to be seen, not heard.” There was little emotional expression allowed, let alone accepted. No one was there to validate or help us …

How I Stopped Chasing Highs and Self-Destructing

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“Problems cannot be solved with the same mind set that created them.” ~Albert Einstein

In our culture, it’s pretty common to think of rock ‘n’ roll hedonism a little wistfully. From Keith Richards to Hunter S. Thompson, the wild nights and strung-out days of the world’s most iconic party animals are seen as integral to their sparkling creativity, rebellious nature, and untouchable glamour.

So many people, especially if they want to make it in the creative industries, idealize and inevitably attempt to mimic these lifestyles. Whether they want to be a “work hard, play hard” music producer, channel Hemingway …

I’ve Learned That I Deserve…

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When I was growing up, my parents never spoke to me about what I “deserved.” They spoke to me a lot about what was “expected.” They were very clear about that.

They expected me to be tough, hard-working, well-read, and smart. They expected me to help others, especially those struggling on the margins. They sent me to work in impoverished parts of the world, so I would realize I was very lucky and really had nothing to complain about. They expected me to go to church every week, to be honest, to help my brothers, my cousins, my community. …

Self-Care Is Whatever Soothes Your Soul

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The Wisdom of Our Body: Slow Down and Tune In to Take Care of Yourself

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“There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophies.” ~Friedrich Nietzche

Parked in a dimly lit garage in the middle of the city at around 7pm, I sat in the driver’s seat, seatbelt still on, texting two different male acquaintances who had expressed sexual interest in me.

“What are you up to tonight?” Waiting for a response back, I checked my phone every few minutes. The resounding emptiness in me that craved to be filled felt like it was growing deeper. After some time of getting immersed in social media, I receive a response back: an invitation …

How I Prioritize and Take Care of Myself Without Feeling Selfish

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“I am worthy of the best things in life, and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.” ~Louise Hay

Looking back on my life, I see that for a long time I struggled to take care of my own wants and needs and didn’t make them a priority. I used to find that very uncomfortable, and sometimes even selfish. I was a master of giving, but I faced serious obstacles to receiving.

By nature, I am a nurturer. I find tremendous joy and fulfillment in giving, so the old me used to offer plenty of time and energy to …

How I Stopped Trying to Please Everyone and Started Prioritizing Myself

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“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you don’t say ‘no’ to yourself.” ~Paolo Coehlo

My whole body was shaking. Tears streaming down my face, my nose blocked and throat sore from crying. Yet, no sound escaped my mouth except an occasional gentle sigh or hushed sob I was unable to control.

My husband was lying in bed next to me. I held my breath and lay motionless whenever he stirred in his sleep.

He had an early start ahead and needed rest. I didn’t want to disturb him, bother him with my silly crying fits. I didn’t want …

The Healing Power of Self-Care in a World of Chronic Stress and Anxiety

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“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” ~Lao Tzu

I’ve always lived with a low hum of anxiety in the background, and lately it’s been harder to keep a lid on it.

There are a lot of things to be anxious about these days. We live in a complex and stressful world and anxiety is very common, affecting upwards of 20% of the population. Some experience manageable levels; for others, anxiety and chronic stress can be debilitating and self-destructing.

Truth is, we have good reasons to be stressed out. We work too much; we don’t take enough …

A Daily Self-Care Ritual for Anyone Who Feels Lost in Life

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“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” ~Jean Shinoda Bolen

We all get lost sometimes.

So lost that we lose track of who we are, where we’re going, what we want, and how to give ourselves what we need to feel nourished and healthy.

I’ve been there many times, enough times to realize that it’s an inevitable part of life, to realize that it’s okay to get lost.

The triggers? They’re never predictable.

Some are subtle and prolonged; some are brief but …

How to Stop Neglecting and Abusing Your Inner Child

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“Hold the hand of the child that lives in your soul. For this child, nothing is impossible.” ~Paulo Coelho

You’re probably an abusive parent. Even if you don’t have children.

In each of us lives an inner child. This child isn’t just a sub-layer of our personality; it’s arguably the real us, the deepest aspect of ourselves.

Like many people, I’ve been aware of the inner child idea for some time. I thought of the concept mostly as another way of explaining our personal sensitivities or the childish behavior we all are capable of at times. But it’s not …

How to Feel Good In Your Skin: 7 Powerful Lessons on Beauty

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“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” ~Proverb

I struggled with body image for years while I was living in Europe because I have a very fair complexion, oily skin, and thin hair.

During my childhood, people would look at me and comment on how pale I looked and ask my mother if I was anemic. Later on, as I was growing up, people who met me would ask if I was ill, or they would say that I look exhausted, tired, and weak.

It was most difficult during the summers, when there was always a social pressure …

If Self-Love Seems Difficult, Start with Self-Like

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“It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine.” ~Byron Katie

Self-love is a word that gets used a lot. Overused, in fact.

The pressures and associations around the phrase “self-love” are immense. At school, we actually tore apart girls who loved themselves, as if it was such a bad thing. As teenagers, we saw self-love as big headed and arrogant.

If only we knew the harm that we were doing, not just to others but most of all to ourselves.

So how about we begin with self-like?

I definitely felt that I had to try to get people …

How I Stopped Feeling Hopeless and Healed from Depression

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“Abandon the idea that you will forever be the victim of the things that have happened to you. Choose to be the victor.” ~Seth Adam Smith

I come from a history of abuse and mental illness on both sides of my family. I felt the effects of both growing up. By my twenties, I was a mess.

I suffered from wild mood swings and severe depression, either lashing out or completely numb and disinterested. I was using alcohol to numb myself from reality, and it was only a matter of time before I’d end up in jail or dead.

I …

Why We Put Ourselves Last and Why Self-Care Should Be a Priority

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“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” ~Dodinsky

Sometimes, when we’re feeling stressed and running around taking care of everybody else, the healthiest thing we can do is to stop and consider how we can take care of ourselves.

While this seems obvious to some people, many of us struggle with the idea of putting ourselves first. We were raised to think we should always put others before ourselves and ignore our own needs—that it is somehow arrogant or self-centered, and not a nice thing to do.

So why is self-care not held in high regard as the …

3 Ways You May Be Undermining Your Self-Worth (And How to Stop)

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

Self-worth comes from knowing that you are enough, just as you are. You are inherently worthy, and you don’t need anyone else’s approval.

I didn’t always hold myself in high regard, or treat myself with the respect I deserved. I’m now in my thirties and live a beautiful life filled with self-love, kindness, and passion, but in my younger years I suffered from low self-worth.

I had my fair share of life lessons and allowed myself to be treated poorly.

I begged for …

Stop Pushing Yourself So Hard: 8 Ways to De-Stress Your Mind and Body

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“Self-care is not selfish or self-indulgent. We cannot nurture others from a dry well. We need to take care of our own needs first, and then we can give from our surplus, our abundance.” ~Jennifer Louden

I have always been really driven. I readily admit that I am an overachiever, and I have the capacity to burn the candle at both ends.

Following my dreams and creating what I imagine is my destiny takes work, real work, so I can easily spend way too many hours a day striving to bring my visions into reality.

I am hardwired to push …

How to Use Self-Care for a Brighter, Less Stressful Life

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“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” ~Sydney Harris

I was working myself into the ground and I knew it. Balancing a full-time job, my fledgling business, studies, home life, and relationships, I was constantly feeling the pressure and slowly, the cracks were showing.

I was exhausted, I was argumentative, I wasn’t taking care of my health, and my business had transformed from my creative outlet to a source of incredible stress.

I kept thinking, “I just need one day to relax, just one day!” but even when I had the chance, I couldn’t let …