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A Powerful Lesson in Self-Compassion: Are You Allergic to Honey?

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

When things don’t go as planned, is your go-to explanation that it’s because you did something wrong, or because there’s something wrong with you? For many people, self-compassion is a real challenge.… Read More

Feeling Free

Find the Courage to Be You: 4 Ways To Live Authentically

“Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Authenticity is a buzzword these days. We hear all kinds of advice on how to live it, breathe it, and get more of it. Maybe this is because we are actually drowning in inauthenticity.

Advertising bombards us with promises of bigger, better, faster, and easier.… Read More

Alive

Lessons from Love and Loss: Lean into Your Life While You Can

“Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.” ~Unknown

I was standing there crying harder than I had ever cried before in my life. I was so emotionally moved that I totally lost control and was even drooling. It’s a good thing I was wearing a surgical mask.… Read More

Talking

4 Questions to Turn Your Anger Around and Forgive

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes

For a long time, I had a stressful relationship with my dad. We fell apart after I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa, and from me trying to push him out and him not understanding what I was going through in regards to eating and body image, we stopped talking.… Read More

When You Don’t Get What You Want Something Better May Be Coming

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

While every adoption story is different, they all start with a loss. Our loss turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us.

I’ve had two migraines in my life. Both were when I was battling infertility and in a war with my body.… Read More

Stuck-In-Feelings

7 Steps to Prevent Getting Stuck in an Emotion

“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

I bought an ice cream cake for my family to thank them for giving me the time and space to write the first draft of my novel.… Read More

Two friends talking

Listen Instead of Correcting Others: What We Gain and Give

“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” ~Wayne Dyer

I have a tendency to want to show off what I know, and in the worst cases, correct other people.

Instead of listening and connecting I unconsciously try to sell to others an image of myself that I wish to project.… Read More

Don’t Control Anger, Control Yourself

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” ~Ambrose Bierce

I once had a much-cherished friend who meant the world to me. The problem was that we were both short-tempered individuals and the word patience was fictional to both of us.

There is a thin line separates right from wrong and when one is blinded by anger; it can be near impossible to see this line.Read More

Couple Sitting

Releasing Resentment: Who You’re Really Angry With and Why

“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~Malachy McCourt

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

I didn’t particularly want to kiss him, but it had been a benign first date, and I didn’t know how to say no without hurting his feelings.

We were standing by my car in broad daylight, and what could be the harm, right?… Read More

Team

Dramatically Improve your Relationships by Becoming a Team

“We may have all come in different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

I once had a totally commonplace, uneventful thought that transformed the way I viewed relationships.

I’m not sure that it was mine; it certainly wasn’t anything groundbreaking or unique. I may have read it somewhere, I can’t remember now.… Read More

Looking Out

Accept Yourself as You Are, Even When Others Don’t

What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer

“You’re too quiet.”

This comment and others like it have plagued me almost all my life. I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that I needed to come out of my shell, to be livelier, or to talk more.… Read More

Woman and the Sun

3 Principles for Accepting Yourself and Being Authentically Happy

“Happiness is really a deep harmonious inner satisfaction and approval.” ~Francis Wilshire

It is only in the last few years of my life that I have felt genuinely happy and comfortable in my own skin.

Until my early thirties the dominant feeling I carried around with me was one of extreme social awkwardness.… Read More

Thinking Man

Make a Tough Situation Good: One Question That Changes Everything

“The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.” ~Viktor E. Frankl

For my livelihood, I lead workshops on how to let go of stress and experience deeper happiness. My occupation makes my occasional meltdowns all the more embarrassing. Fortunately, a meltdown I had last year led me to a question that completely changed how I view difficult situations in my life.… Read More

Two Lies We Learn as Kids That Keep Us Stuck and Unhappy

“You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” ~Brian Tracy

With apologies to everyone who is from somewhere else or lived before 1776, we Americans want everyone to believe that we live in the greatest country in the history of humanity and that makes us the greatest humans beings ever.… Read More

What To Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.” ~Chinese Proverb

So, here’s the thing: I don’t know what to do.

About this thing, about that thing. About big things and small things.

About anything.

Actually, to be honest even the smallest thing seems big when I don’t know what to do about it.… Read More

New Possibilities

50 Ways to Open Your World to New Possibilities

“To get something you never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.” ~Unknown

Maybe you feel stuck. Or bored. Or frustrated. It’s not that you don’t like the life you live, it’s just that you suspect there’s something more. Some greater sense of meaning or excitement. New connections.… Read More

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The Hunger for More: What We Really Want and Need

“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb

As a child, I was obsessed with other worlds—reading about alien planets, writing fantasy stories, or just playing video games. As a teenager, I longed to know as much as possible— who we were, why we are here, the meaning of life.… Read More

3 Ways to Redesign Your Life: Shedding the Excess

“Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.” ~C.S. Lewis

For as long as I can remember, “more” has always been better, but the word “more” is no longer what it used to be.

Five years ago, I started exercising for the first time in my life. At first, I counted down the minutes until my workout was over.… Read More

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Find Peace Today: Stop Worrying About What You Might Lose

“The whole life of a man is but a point in time; let us enjoy it.” ~ Plutarch

Take a moment to think about the last time you stared up into a clear night sky, one that was gorged with stars and seemed to go on forever—one where the longer you stared, the more depth appeared.… Read More

Smiling

Dare to Live: 10 Unconventional Ways to Be True to Yourself

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E.Cummings

Have you ever had a clear sign of who you really are, and then totally ignored it?Maybe it required too much change, or taking a big risk. Maybe you were scared to have to convince a loved one how much you needed this.And so you rationalized that “it wasn’t the right time.”Convinced yourself to “be sensible and put it off for a while.”I know how this feels, because I did it too.… Read More

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