Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Monna McDiarmid

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~ Gandhi

What if we lived the way we travel?

It’s been my experience that we let go of many things when we travel. I’d like to propose that those things—the things we loosen our grip on while travelling—are things that don’t need to be held quite so firmly.

1. Notice. Slow down. Reflect.

San Miguel de Allende is one of my favorite places on earth. I’ve visited nine or ten times. If asked to describe heaven, I’d say that it was a long weekend in San Miguel.

After a gorgeous night’s sleep in Room number eight, I’d start to see things differently. I’d become absorbed by the way the golden light fell across our bed. I’d notice the specks of dust in the light shaft, like tiny astronauts travelling between the earth and the sun.

In the town, I’d observe the dogs walking on the shaded side of the street and follow their example. Everything in my path seemed beautiful and noteworthy: the way that rain drops hit the cobblestone streets, the crayola-colors of folk art in store windows, and the markets that smelled like cheese and chicken feet.

We sit at a cafe, content to drink limonada, and people-watch for hours.

We rarely do this at home because we believe there are very important things that must be accomplished, and that we can’t waste time at cafes. Vacations help us understand that we’re not quite as essential to our workplace as we thought. They’re getting by just fine without us.

Noticing leads to slowing down which allows us to reflect. We spend time observing the shape of things. Life exhales and rolls out ahead of us. We dream. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” ~Carl Rogers

Have you ever felt a sense of internal conflict about enjoying the present moment while also working toward your dreams?

This is something I revisit over and over, because I know life happens now, and in order to fully live it, I need to accept what’s in front of me and experience it with complete awareness.

Yet I also want to expand, spread my wings, and see just how far I can soar.

A big part of that is visualizing what the future might look like—and then making and following a plan to get there.

This is where it gets tricky: what’s the difference between planning for tomorrow and living for it? What’s the difference between attaching to a possibility in a way that causes us pain, and believing in a possibility in a way that causes us joy?

Obviously, we can’t be happy and present if we’re focused on attracting something bigger and better, and worrying at each step of the process.

Yet we need to feel we’re on a purpose-driven path, growing a little every day—and the best way to measure growth is to set a specific goal and work toward it.

Maybe the key to enjoying the present while enabling the future is to know we’re creating something different without reinforcing to ourselves that it’s also something better.

Obviously, some goals will involve major improvements, like finding a more suitable living situation or finding work that better allows us to take care of ourselves.

But once we’ve secured enough to take care of our needs, and we’re working toward our various wants, perhaps it would serve us well to continually remind ourselves that today doesn’t have to pale in comparison to our potential tomorrow.

Tomorrow might bring a world of exciting new possibilities, but today, wherever we stand on our journey, can be an adventure in itself.

Today we have abundant opportunities to utilize our strengths and passions, do things we enjoy, and connect with people we love—even if we’re simultaneously crossing things off our to-do lists.

We need to have a sense of direction in life, but we can choose not to create stress around arriving. Today is a worthy part of our adventure.  If we’re following our purpose, right now, we’re living the dream.

Photo by h.koppdelaney

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Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Annika Thomas

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown

As I left the San Francisco head office of the clothing company I worked for, I felt anxious and scared. I knew, in the depth of my heart and soul, that I did not belong there and that I needed to do something about it.

Up until a year before then, I had thought I did. But then I met this new friend who was a very spiritual person. He talked to me about things like universal mind, energy, a new era, and the importance of finding your dharma—your true vocation, which starts to be revealed once you start listening to, and following, your deepest inspiration.

It all touched a deep chord in me. Since that day I started following my thread of inspiration and searched and read everything I could find about the psyche, how we are affected by colors and shapes, and about symbols and esoteric teachings. I felt like I already knew all of it, and that I had finally found my way home.

My friends and colleagues didn’t understand the depth of the transformation I was going through. I felt misunderstood and very lonely.

But at the same time I was happier than I had been in a very long time. I felt connected to my true Self. I was truly inspired and felt like I had a special job to do in the world of clothes: I was to find new ways of designing and using clothes, built on feminine principles and a different set of values than those of our modern culture.

As the head designer for the Scandinavian branch of a multinational clothing company I earned quite a lot of money. I also led what many would consider a very glamorous lifestyle, with lots of traveling and meetings with interesting people.

But did it make me happy? Was there room for me to grow and develop in new ways?

No. Absolutely not. As a professional designer it was my job to focus on contemporary clothes, on what our costumers would want the next season. Looking further into the future was not an option. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Human life runs its course in the metamorphosis between receiving and giving.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This past week I simultaneously experienced some of the strongest physical pain and immense joy I have ever experienced. While the former has everything to do with the six-inch incision in my abdomen, the latter revolves around a number of lessons about willfully receiving.

As I wrote last week, I had my myomectomy surgery on Tuesday to remove a soccer ball-sized growth in my uterus. On Monday, it occurred to me I’d appreciate reading uplifting notes from the community, but a part of me wondered if it would be tacky to explicitly ask for them.

After all, I’d already received many emails from concerned readers who took the time to reach out. Furthermore, I’ve always written that this site is not about me; would it really be wise to dedicate an entire post to seeking attention and support?

Despite my concerns, I decided to do just that, because I knew it would make me feel good. That it did, when I realized on Wednesday that hundreds of people had commented on my blog post, sharing stories and links to videos that made them smile.

That same day, when my doctor came to see me in the hospital, she looked at me with kind eyes and a loving smile, and came close to give me a hug. Despite my post-operative frailty, she gave me a real one—the kind that felt strong and just long enough to mean something. I simply melted into it. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Petrea Hansen-Adamidis

“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” ~Honore de Balzac

A while back I began to feel out of sorts with my writing. It happened after coming down from the high of creating almost nonstop with my inner muse. I noticed that I began to feel down, like the feeling one gets after being at the amusement park when the excitement is over.

Creating and finishing my projects had been a wild ride. It was exciting and intense at times. But once done, an insidious feeling began to over take me.

My thoughts began to wander to “the dark side” questioning my abilities.

What if I can’t create something new? What if people don’t like what I have done?

Like after any expenditure of energy, there is always a lull. Lulls have been known to drain ones creative energy if you let them. I know from experience that if I let myself I can easily slip into a creative stupor.

When in that lull or in that space between creativity, it may seem like nothing is happening. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. We need that break.   

When in this state I feel sensitive and quick to take things personally. I could just do nothing and give in to the disappointment when things have not gone as I have expected. Alternatively, I could use this as motivation, a starting point for another creative endeavor.

But self-doubt has a way of getting under your skin. For me I begin to feel an uprising of the “you’re not good enough” gremlins inside me when this happens.

I remember when this happened after something I submitted online was not accepted.  It felt like a rejection. “Forget it then!” belted out a voice inside with the force of a 2 year-old having a tantrum when she doesn’t get her way.  Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Jennifer Butler-Williams

“Maybe the key to happiness is to focus less on making moments last and more on making them count.” ~Lori Deschene

Over the years, I have had my fair share of trials, many having to do with being bipolar and having OCD and ADD.

These illnesses combined have made for a rough go. One day I might feel spontaneous and want to take a trip to Disney World, the next day I may want to end it all.

Going back and forth with happiness and despair is an emotionally draining process. Knowing that it’s all in my mind is the most frustrating thing to deal with.

It’s hard to describe an emotional illness that takes you up and down to those individuals who might not understand, but keeping your perspective in tune is the best solution. When I read Lori’s blog on focusing on making moments count, I knew I needed to write something in response.

So I want to share with you how I find my keys to happiness because we all know keys go missing from time to time.

1. Don’t get caught up with the negatives of the world.

When you are driving to work in a traffic jam, instead of slamming your hands on the dashboard, put on your favorite tune. Let it take you back to the moment when you first heard it.

2. Stuff happens.

Don’t let the stuff determine how your day is going to be.  Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Barrie Davenport

“Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” ~Unknown

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who carried Fear as her constant companion.

It wasn’t fear of wild animals, impending danger, or the shadows that lurk in the night. In fact, her friend Fear had become disassociated with any real thing. It had become an entity all its own that could morph and wind its way into any circumstance the woman happened to be in.

The woman wasn’t born this way.

When she was small, Fear had served her well and taught her how to stay out of harm’s way. But as the girl grew and experienced the world around her (which could sometimes be harsh and painful), Fear found a foothold for power.

Fear taught the girl that Harsh and Painful were always just around the corner, even when they weren’t, and showed her how to avoid life so that she wouldn’t meet them. When she did meet Harsh and Painful, Fear said, “I told you so. You better stick with me.”

Fear’s Sneaky Plot

Sometimes her erstwhile friend Fear thought it was fun to poke around in the young woman’s mind, searching for weak spots so that it could manufacture something that felt as real as an oncoming train or a lurking monster.

Fear was sneaky like that. It liked to torment and create havoc in the woman’s heart and mind. It whispered stories in her ear that weren’t true or only had a grain of truth. Fear liked to embellish. Fear liked to stir the pot.

The woman knew that she’d allowed Fear to become her master. But she kept feeding it by worrying, over-thinking, pontificating, ruminating, and believing without question. As Fear munched away growing fatter and stronger, the young woman began to shrink. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Happy Tuesday friends! As you may already know from reading my recent posts, today is the day of my myomectomy surgery.

I decided not to publish a guest post today, since I will not be around to share it on the Tiny Buddha social media pages, moderate comments, or respond to emails. Instead, I decided to re-publish a post from 2010 that you may not have read, called 50 Things to Love About Life That Are Free. I hope you enjoy it!

I will be in the hospital until Thursday or Friday, though I will likely be working toward the end of the week. In the meantime, I would appreciate if you would do something for me:

Is there something that always makes you smile–an uplifting video, a funny picture, or a joke? I would love it if you would share it in the comments section so I can see them all after my operation.

If you don’t have anything specific to share, and you’ve never commented before, it would be great if you’d introduce yourself and share something that you’re passionate about. Meeting new people is my favorite part of running this site, and I’d love to connect with you!

If you’re reading this in your inbox, you may want to click here to comment on the site. Please note you might not receive an email on Wednesday or Thursday this week–and that I may be slow to respond to any emails that come to me.

Thank you again for all your love and support. It means the world to me, and it’s helped.

APRIL 12TH UPDATE: I came home from the hospital today and spent some time reading all your comments/visiting all your links. Thank you so much everyone! I’m touched that you all took the time to do this. When I’m feeling a little better, I will respond to some of these. Thank you again so much.

Photo by h.koppdelaney

by Lori Deschene

“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

If you asked an 8-year old version of me to list all the things I loved, it might have looked something like this:

• Ice cream
• Swings
• Snow days
• Beach days
• More ice cream
• Saturday morning cartoons

In fact, I’m sure I could have created an inventory longer than my usual Christmas list, including a ton of things that either tasted, felt, or looked good.

It didn’t occur to me until later in life that some of the best things are intangible; and that I could experience them at any time if I just opened my heart and mind to let them in.

I think most of us know this intellectually—that pride in our work can be more valuable than what it buys, for example. But sometimes we get so caught up in securing the trappings of the good life—the house, the car, the furnishings, the clothes—we’re too distracted to notice and appreciate the intangibles.

That’s not to say there’s something wrong with enjoying material things. I’m still a huge fan of my TV (flatter and larger), ice cream (OK, frozen yogurt now) and days off (though I can’t seem to negotiate any snow days into my adult California lifestyle). It’s just that there’s so much more to love about life that doesn’t cost a dime. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough

I just finished my second family visit for the year, and I have three more planned.

For years after I first moved away a decade ago, I only came home around the holidays.

I’d caused and dealt with so much drama that it felt easiest to hide with my pain and shame where I couldn’t hurt people or be hurt by them. I felt safest seeing my family in small doses, because there would be less time for me to mess things up—and fewer opportunities for them to reject me.

During one of my trips last year, I noticed that things felt different. Since I was visiting more frequently, it no longer felt like we were all on our best behavior for each other.

There was some friction, and minor annoyances, and even some major frustrations—all things I’d completely avoided for years.

At first I thought this was a sign I shouldn’t have been opening myself up. Everything felt predictably cordial when I visited infrequently, contained my true feelings, and engaged with people on a mostly superficial level.

Then I realized I was grateful for the change.

The intermittent tension, occasional irritations, and general sense of vulnerability were all signs that I was actually relating to people, not merely sharing space with them.

It may seem crazy to suggest conflict can be a good thing, but I’ve learned that even healthy, loving relationships inevitably involve a little friction.

If we’re showing our true selves, stumbling and learning a little every day, and spending time with other people who are doing the same, we will inevitably clash every now and then.

We will disagree. We will get irritated. We will feel disappointed. And we may do or say things we later come to regret. So long as we’re not in abusive relationships, none of these things have to indicate there’s something wrong.

Every time we don’t see eye to eye, we have a chance to practice expressing ourselves without judging each other. Every time we get on each other’s nerves, we have a chance to practice calming ourselves instead of blaming each other.

Real relationships are messy, and it can feel instinctive to resist that—but what a mistake that would be. It’s only when we stop learning together that we start to grow apart.

Photo by KittyKaht

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Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Lisa Tully

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle, or you can live as if everything is a miracle.” ~Albert Einstein

One of the key ways to bring about greater harmony and peace in our lives is through understanding—looking at a situation and taking the time to put ourselves into the minds and hearts of others.

And the key to understanding begins with the seed of compassion. Sounds so simple, right? So why don’t we do it?

As people living in the west, we can sometimes be in too much of a rush to be kind—particularly when we’re dealing with deadlines and pressures.

Can you think of a time when you brushed passed a certain situation and later regretted it? Feeling afterward that somehow you should have lent a helping hand, no matter how big or how small?

In Northern India I am very fortunate to have what I call my Tibetan family within a monastery there. The monks have welcomed me into their world, and as they go about their daily business, I’m right there with them spending time.

The benefits of this unique and special opportunity range from attending wonderful sacred events to sitting watching TV together as they serve me momos (dumplings).

One night, while relaxing with the monks after a nice meal, I received a late call and learned that my cat back home in London was sick.

The monks stopped what they were doing—one was even dragged back out of bed—and did an impromptu prayer session for my furry friend without a second thought.

There they were, five of them chanting away. It blew my mind, because it demonstrated to me that they understood my fears and concerns and held my cat’s health in great importance.  Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Would you rather be right or free?” ~Byron Katie

Several months back, I saw a live taping of Oprah’s Life Class, which she hosted with Iyanla Vanzant, author of Peace from Broken Pieces and other self-help books.

At one point during the episode, Iyanla discussed an exchange she’d had the week prior with a viewer who’d Skyped in. The young woman had called her family crazy, referencing Iyanla’s oft-quoted advice, “If you see crazy coming, cross the street.”

But in this instance, Iyanla had scolded the woman for disrespecting her parents, regardless of how dysfunctional they may have been, because, according to Iyanla, that woman’s “soul chose them before she was even born.”

Although I’d felt inspired up until then, I remember this moment creating a deep disconnect for me, because I don’t share that spiritual belief. And I think respect has to be earned—even by a parent.

Suddenly, instead of focusing on the many helpful insights that emerged throughout the night, I found myself clinging to my disagreement. Even though it served no useful purpose, I kept mentally rehashing all the reasons I felt Iyanla was wrong.

Right then it occurred to me that I was doing wrong to myself. I was shutting myself down from the present moment because I felt justified in being righteous.

So I stopped and asked myself, “What might the lesson be here?” After all, I was part of a life class.

I realized it was this: If we label someone’s belief as wrong and cling to that, we limit our ability to learn, from them and the moment.

I’ve read and grown through some of Iyanla’s books, and even if we have different understandings of spirituality, I know her intention is to help people. That’s why most of us share our beliefs: we think they will provide others with the same comfort they bring to us.

Obviously, we shouldn’t turn our heads if someone is causing harm. But we can choose not to cause ourselves harm by speaking our minds when it’s appropriate, and otherwise letting it go. Oftentimes, what we really want isn’t to be right; it’s to feel a sense of peace. We can give that to ourselves.

Of course, that’s just what I believe: that the best way to provide ourselves with comfort is to recognize when to let go.

Photo by Vincent van der Pas

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Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Jessica Dally

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~Melody Beattie

I’ve never had a problem with forgiveness.

In high school my mother and I would argue endlessly. Her lectures and my rebellion both had no end. While it was true that my mother had her faults, my independence caused me to be less than willing to follow her direction.

At one point we were arguing, as we usually did, which meant hours of crying and lecturing. As I pointed out to her yet another of her faults she said something that I have never forgotten:

“At least I didn’t tell you that you were worthless.”

She was right. That’s what her mother had drilled into her head again and again, making sure she understood that she had little value to the world. A lesson that I suspect she still believes or at least struggles with.

At some point in her life, perhaps while she was pregnant with me, or maybe before, she determined that this was one legacy she would not pass on. She would never tell me that I had no value, and indeed she never did.

While it may seem like nothing, to struggle against your upbringing, to stop a cycle of emotional abuse, is a phenomenal act of strength.

I didn’t know what I hadn’t received.

Up until that point I hadn’t even thought about the fact that this horrible thing hadn’t happened to me. I only thought about the things I didn’t like—the treatment that was dysfunctional. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Sara Maude

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

I have recently come face to face with mortality—not my own, my friend’s. At only 37, Daniel left behind an army of people whose lives he had touched in some way, including my own.

At 33 I have just qualified as a Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist. At the time Daniel passed away I was working as a Human Resources Manager, a profession I had originally trained in and remained in for over 10 years.

A number of factors and events led me to make the leap and set up my own practice as a Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist, but the overriding reason was simply to follow my dreams.

Many of my friends told me how inspiring I was to them, others told me I was brave, and the rest gave me a look of awe that suggested I was crazy.   

Words of well meaning advice were spoken.

“Why don’t you work part time while you get the business underway?”

“It’s going to take time for you to get regular clients you know; they won’t come overnight.”

“You can always go back to human resources if it doesn’t work.”

All of this came from my nearest and dearest friends and family! I didn’t listen to any of them because I knew from the depths of my soul that this was the right thing to do, and I knew their words were only echoes of their own fears about life and striking out—not my own.

Every day we are faced with stories that remind us of our own mortality as human beings, but when you lose someone you love with all your heart, it changes something deep within you. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” ~Steve Mariboli

While preparing today’s reader-submitted post about Spring-cleaning, I started to think about my collection of old journals, which I wrote from age 12 through 21.

Many of these are depressing. They paint a picture of a sad, lost little girl who struggled with self-esteem, and chose a number of self-destructive habits to cope with overwhelming pain.

On many occasions, I’ve considered burning these to symbolize transformation, but a part of me always resists.

On some level, I see these as badges of honor. They’re reminders of who I used to be, and how much I’ve overcome and grown.

But I wonder sometimes if it would serve me better to acknowledge my current strength without needing to compare it to former weakness.

For years, whenever I met someone new, I told them my whole life story, as if to say, “When you judge me, as I know you will, keep in mind how far I’ve come!”

Perhaps I keep these journals because on some level, I say the same thing to myself.

That stack of old books on my shelf may seem insignificant—and it may seem unnecessary to analyze why I’ve chosen to keep them—but I believe the things we hold onto speak volumes about where we may be subconsciously stuck.

And the attachments we form can give us insight into how we can set ourselves free—if, that is, we’re willing to peel back the layers of our motivations.

Sometimes we hold onto things simply because we want to appreciate, enjoy, or honor those memories. But other times, they tether us to the past, and serve as physical representations of the limiting stories we tell ourselves.

It’s not the stuff that carries an emotional charge; it’s the meaning we give it.

It’s not holding onto stuff that weighs us down; it’s how we think about it.

That box of old letters from an ex can be a trove of happy memories, or it can be a reminder of what you fear you may never have again. The difference is literally all in our heads.

I haven’t committed to getting rid of those journals, but I have started exploring my purpose in keeping them to ensure it empowers me instead of limiting me.

What stuff and stories are you holding onto—and why?

Photo by AlicePopkorn

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Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by JR Hughes

“Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.” ~Unknown

Last December I found myself sitting on my floor, having just left my job and a ten-year relationship. As a result, I was about to leave my home too. In front of me was a mountain of possessions that I somehow had to take with me to wherever I was going next.

Clothes, bedding, books, notebooks, electronic bits and pieces, boxes of ornaments, and sentimental “things,” handbags within handbags, flocks of high heels, tsunamis of paperwork…

And then there was little me.

I felt overwhelmed by my possessions. It seemed unnatural to have accumulated more than I could carry alone, or at least fit into my car.

Outside, it was the run up to the holidays in the middle of a recession. Half the country was unable to afford their heating bills, let alone presents. So to distract myself I brought a handful of things to a children’s charity shop down the road: teddies, pictures, a wicker basket that would be perfect for a child to keep toys in.

And that unleashed the floodgates.

I felt good—for me, because my burden of possessions had shrunk, and for the children, who might receive these things at Christmas.

While the basket was hard to give away—it had been mine since I was a baby—giving it away made me see that I was better able to mentally cope with getting rid of things, than physically cope with trying to take it all with me.

And so an epic spring clean began in the middle of my winter. Three weeks of rifling through boxes and shipping stuff out to charity shops, friends, family, the trash, and eBay.

Some things were easy to give away. Others were not. Certain things I had no use for—yet something made me hesitate to let them go. I came to know these hesitations as emotional speed bumps. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Happy Wednesday friends! I wanted to take this opportunity to share a few important site updates:

Update #1:

I’ve recently made some changes to the site that you may not have noticed.

- The “Tiny Wisdom” blog posts are now part of the blog stream, and they have their own category at the top of the menu. (Formerly, these were separate, which made it difficult to search through them.)

-You can now search for quotes by author, as the author names are now all links. If you click on any one, you will see all the quotes by this author (bear in mind, the quote archives currently contains around 600 quotes, so there are some authors with only one or two quotes).

Update #2:

As of yesterday, I’ve started customizing the subject lines for the daily emails.

I’ve received multiple requests to do this, but I hadn’t yet adopted this approach, because there is no way to automate this within the newsletter system.

However, if this is something you prefer—a customized subject line, instead of “Daily Wisdom from Tiny Buddha,” with the date—I will continue doing this. Please offer your thoughts in the comments!

(If you’re reading this in your inbox, you may want to click through here to comment on the post.) Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz 

The other day I received a comment on an old blog post that started with, “You’re full of crap,” and ended with, “I don’t know, and idiots like you don’t help us figure it out.”

Shortly after, I received an email from a new blogger who recently contributed to the site. She mentioned she’d received her first harsh comment, and she wanted to know if this is normal—and how she should deal with it.

I told her she will likely engage in far more constructive, uplifting conversations than negative, hurtful ones.

But this kind of thing is to be expected when you write about emotionally charged topics, especially since we often search for self-help articles when we’re looking for answers—or we’re looking to forget the answer we already know: that pain unavoidable, and sometimes we simply need to go through it.

With this in mind, I responded privately to my reader, “I get the impression you’re really hurting right now. Is there some way I can help?”

Right then I thought about all the times I lashed out at people when I was suffering in the past. And I thought about how justified I felt in hurting others, especially when they’d hurt me first, or failed to really help.

These are not things I am proud to admit; and they’re not things I’d recommend or condone. We all have a responsibility to learn healthy ways to cope.

But I suspect if we’re honest with ourselves, most of us can identify moments when we acted thoughtlessly from a place of sorrow or anger.

Most of us have felt pain burning like a hot coal in our hands, and felt desperate to unload it, somehow, somewhere.

I don’t appreciate being called an idiot, and I know I don’t deserve it. Just like none of us deserve misdirected rage from a family member, coworker, or stranger.

We have a right to set boundaries and communicate when something is not okay. But the world is a better place when we choose to do that from a place of love and compassion, instead of righteousness and judgment.

We all act thoughtlessly at times. Most often we don’t mean to hurt each other. We just don’t recognize or remember how to stop hurting ourselves.

Photo by Yim Hafiz

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Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by James McWhinney

“Information is not knowledge.” ~Einstein

A few years ago I was lost. Frustrated. Scared. Unsure. Anxious. Trapped. Unfulfilled. Stuck in a dead-end job. Smothered by society’s expectations. Didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with my life.

I cared for myself enough to change my life, but I didn’t have the slightest clue where to start. I spent my days wishing that things would change—that I could escape a life that didn’t my soul could no longer bear.

The worst part of all, I was living the life that society had always told me to live. “Find a secure job, work hard,” they would say. “Get a solid job and work your way up the ladder.”

I don’t know about you, but it turns out that for me, the “right thing to do” sucked the joy out of life.

Imagine feeling trapped in an unfulfilling existence. Wasting your precious time doing things that you really don’t want to be doing. Being afraid to express your uniqueness. Having fun on the weekends then dreading the upcoming week. Maybe you don’t have to imagine it; maybe your life is just like mine was, few moments of satisfaction drowned out by a constant grind of nonfulfillment.

Then something hit me. It was a proverbial hammer to my head. I’d heard it before, but it had never sunk in. Then, as if out of nowhere, a voice in my head spoke loudly and clearly.

“Discover who you truly are and fully give every aspect of your uniqueness to the world. This is your path to an extraordinary life.”

I followed this wisdom as if my life depended on it. And I can tell you that my life has changed for the better since I followed this guidance.

I can tell you without any doubt that the greatest piece of wisdom that I’ve discovered in my life thus far is this: Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Sam Russell

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

I have just eaten enough pizza to satisfy three people and I’m feeling awful for having done it. Awful because my stomach can only hold so much, awful because I know I’m going to pay for eating it (dairy and I have a difficult relationship), and awful because I know I shouldn’t have done it.

This is what my internal monologue looks like:

Me: I feel so sick.
Inner Me: You shouldn’t have eaten so much then!

Me: I know but I really fancied it and I hate wasting food.
Inner Me: You always do this, you know that?

Me: I thought I could do it differently this time.
Inner Me: What, you mean not gorge? We spoke about this, Sam. We spoke about how the last time really was the last time.

Me: I know… I kind of caved though.
Inner Me: You lack discipline; you need to be stricter with yourself.

I could go on for ages, but you get the idea.

Everyone has that voice inside of them that might berate them for less than wise choices: that unnecessary new sweater (to join all your others); the new phone (even though the one you have now works perfectly); staying up late to finish work (that could have been done earlier in the day if only you hadn’t spent the afternoon catching up with your favorite TV series).

A lot of people let this voice get the better of them. They let it get out of control to the point where, instead of being a good moral compass, it becomes a guilt-tripper of tyrannical proportions. It harms instead of helps. But why do we let this happen? Click Here to Read More…