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Category “love & relationships”

Friends

Why Being Real Matters More Than Being the Best

“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” ~May Sarton

Have you ever compared yourself to others on social media?

You’re not alone if you have. It’s human nature to compare, compete, and seek value in the opinions of others. To aspire to the heights others seem to have attained.… Read More

Conflicted Couple

You Don’t Need Other People to Validate Your Feelings

“When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you.” ~Leslie Vernick

It’s coming up on the anniversary of when I left a relationship that was both my unhealthiest and my greatest catalyst for growth.

While I’m able to see that he was a spiritual assignment I needed in order to evolve, I can’t help but feel resentful.… Read More

Two Friends Laughing

How to Tell When Someone Needs a Friend

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” ~Unknown

When I was in high school I was shy, to say the least. I guess a more accurate description would be to say that I was insecure. Painfully insecure.

Looking back, I don’t know why I cared so much.… Read More

Couple Silhouette

How to Know if You’re with the Right Person

“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” ~Walter Anderson

I’m not actually interested in telling you if you’re with the right person. I’m interested in you discovering who you really are. If you’re not in the right relationship, you probably shouldn’t try so hard to make it “work.” Sometimes the right thing to do is walk away.… Read More

Breaking Up

9 Thoughts That Give You Strength to End a Painful Relationship

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” ~Zig Ziglar

No matter how old I get, no matter how experienced I become, ending a relationship is agonizing.

It represents a loss, and losses hurt.

Deep down, I know if I go through with it, I’ll feel freer—well, not right away, but in a little while anyway—but I’d rather crawl under a rock and ignore the whole thing.Read More

Happy and free

Releasing Labels: Be What You Love, Not What You Do

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

I thought I was supposed to have a shiny job, the kind that makes people envious at cocktail parties.

We had moved with my husband’s job again.… Read More

Woman Thinking

6 Things to Do Instead of Comparing Yourself to Others

“Do not judge by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.” ~Scottish Proverb

I grew up believing I was never enough. Ever. Not when I got all A’s in school. Not when I was in the talented and gifted program. Not when my father made more than enough money for me to buy whatever I wanted.… Read More

Finger Art

70 Ways to Make Others Feel Special

“Be the person that makes others feel special. Be known for your kindness and grace.” ~Unknown

There is someone in my life that has an extraordinary talent for making people feel special. I would call him out by name, but he’s a fairly private person, so we’ll just call him “E.”

It’s not that E makes people feel that they are somehow greater than others.… Read More

Hand Heart

Practicing Loving-Kindness Even When (Especially When) You Are Hurting

“Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” ~Charles Dickens   

All of us have been hurt or angered by someone’s words at some point. Some words are blatantly cruel, and others are deceptive, appearing to be in our best interest but only ever leading us astray.… Read More

Friends Laughing

Transforming Shame Into Love, One Good Deed At A Time

“No one is useless in the world who lightens the burdens of another.” ~Charles Dickens

A few years back, I saw a sticker that read, “Be the change you wish to see in the world. –Gandhi.”

My knee-jerk reaction was annoyance because the sticker was affixed to the bumper of a car that turned left in front of me.… Read More

Stressed Man

How to Stop Feeling Inadequate and Let Go of Heavy Expectations

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ~Charles Dickens

When I was seven years old, my parents had me take an IQ test for an application to a private school near our new home.

I vaguely remember sitting with the proctor, answering question after question about vocabulary and spatial recognition.… Read More

Free Woman

How to Free Yourself from Bitterness by Forgiving Others

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

“Stop the world, I want to get off!” I felt like screaming this phrase at the top of my lungs during a difficult period of my life. Obviously, stepping off terra firma into outer space was not an option; what I desperately needed was to be free of chronic fatigue, stress, anxiety, and negative emotions and behaviors.… Read More

Silhouette of a Couple

The Key to Finding Your Ideal Partner in Life

“The most perfect relationship is the one that supports you in fulfilling your destiny—the one that empowers you to be everything you are meant to be in this world and beyond.” ~Jan H. Stringer

As I was sitting up in my bed, reviewing my “Ideal partner wish list” from six years ago, I was a little appalled.… Read More

Woman with hand over her mouth

3 Tips to Help You Stop Saying Things You Regret

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha

I initially saw this quote and, in true ego-first fashion, thought of my kids: this’ll be perfect for them. I’ll put it up in the kitchen as a regular reminder to stop pestering each other.… Read More

Woman Hugging Herself

How to Stop Feeling Guilty, Forgive Yourself, and Honor Your Needs

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes

Have you ever tried to forgive someone who hurt you, and despite your best efforts, it was just too hard? And you beat yourself up because you were not able to forgive, and the pain was still there?… Read More

Tired Man

How to Know When It’s Time to Give Up

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

Growing up, I refused to go to bed until I fit the last piece of my jigsaw puzzle. That’s when I first understood that it could be difficult to give up, but I didn’t think my perseverance was a problem.… Read More

Man Behind Curtain

We Are All People Who Need People

“But first be a person who needs people. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” ~Bob Merrill, lyricist, Barbra Streisand, artist

Act 1: Babs and Me

Barbra Streisand and I could be twins.

For starters, we were born on the same day.

Sure, she got here a couple of decades earlier, but except the part where she’s a rich, famous, writer-director-actress married to James Brolin, and oh, that singing thing, we could have been separated at birth.… Read More

Mourner

When the People We Love No Longer Exist

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” ~Steve Jobs

A week ago a woman I loved died. She was a member of my family and had been dying for a while from bone cancer, so her death did not come as a surprise.… Read More

People holding hands

How to Give Yourself and Others the Gift of Happiness

“It is every man’s obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.” ~Albert Einstein

My son recently returned home from college with a new demeanor.

He was helpful, considerate, interested in others, and genuinely happy. The change was a far cry from the boy who had left for college just a few short months before.… Read More

Loving Couple

Stop Keeping Score in Relationships and Start Taking Care of Each Other

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” ~Desmond Tutu

I was recently at the grocery store, and not once, but twice, I encountered couples practically duking it out in the aisles. I mean, full on snit-fits happening here.… Read More

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