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How to Let People in So You Can Feel Seen, Heard, and Supported

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We are hard-wired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” ~Brené Brown

In relationships, I have always felt more comfortable being on the sidelines rather than center stage. I liked playing the supporting role to many people’s leading roles. I am good at it; it’s the career I chose for myself as a life coach. However, personally, constantly staying in the role of supporter created resentment.

I felt unseen and unheard, and many of my relationships began to feel one-sided—with me listening and holding space for them and …

Abandonment Wounds: How to Heal Them and Feel More at Ease in Relationships

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“I always wondered why it was so easy for people to leave. What I should have questioned was why I wanted so badly for them to stay.” ~Samantha King

Do you feel afraid to speak your truth or ask for what you want?

Do you tend to neglect your needs and people-please?

Do you have a hard time being alone?

Have you ever felt panic and/or anxiety when someone significant to you left your life or you felt like they were going to?

If so, please don’t blame yourself for being this way. Most likely it’s coming from an …

How I Started Appreciating My Life Instead of Wanting to End It

By in Blog, change & challenges

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~Willie Nelson

Few things have the power to totally transform one’s life as gratitude. Gratitude is the wellspring of happiness and the foundation of love. It is also the anchor of true faith and genuine humility. Without gratitude, the toxic stew of bitterness, jealousy, and regret boils over inside each of us.

I would know. As a teenager and as a young man, I lived life without gratitude and experienced the terrible pain of doing so.

Outwardly, I appeared to be a friendly, happy, and gracious person. I …

Dealing with Unrequited Love: How I Started to Let Go and Love Myself

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be looking for someone else to fill the void inside you, but no one will ever be able to do it.” ~Lori Deschene

I was a simple girl who met a complicated boy and fell in love. It was unrequited. I loved him with all my heart for six months, and acted like a teenager with her first crush. It was humiliating. I did things that I should never have done—the incessant texting, calling, arranging meetups, and what not.

Embarrassment doesn’t even cover the emotions I feel now. There is also a …

How Grieving My Parents’ Divorce (20 Years Later) Changed Me for the Better

By in Blog, love & relationships

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” ~Zora Neale Hurston

At the age of thirteen, my childhood as I knew it came to an end. My parents sat my brother and me down at the kitchen table and told us they were getting a divorce. In that moment, I could acutely feel the pain of losing the only family unit I knew.

Although my teenage self was devastated by this news, it would take another twenty years for me to realize the full extent of what I had lost. And to acknowledge that I had never …

How to Love Mindfully When You’re a Socially Anxious People-Pleaser

By in Blog, love & relationships

“It’s okay to care about what people think. Just know there’s a difference between valuing someone’s opinion and needing their approval.” ~Lori Deschene

My date—an attractive student in her twenties—talked away excitedly, but all I could think of was this:

“How can I make her like me?”
“How can I impress her?”
“How can I make her laugh?”

I agonized over every word that I said, every response from her, every moment of our interaction, and I poured every single detail that I could find—or imagine—under the microscope of my mind… and all of a sudden, the date was over!…

How I’m Overcoming Codependency and the Need to Prove My Worth

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships, work fulfillment

“Everywhere you go, there you are.” ~Unknown

I have heard this quote many times throughout life, but that was it. I heard it, thought hmm, and moved on. Well, here I am at the age of thirty-nine, and I am really starting to see and understand it.

I first started noticing this idea showing up over and over again recently, at a time of a change in my career. I went from an ER nurse to an RN in the transfer center. So bedside nursing to office work.

I noticed one day, as I was sitting in …

Why I No Longer Chase Emotionally Unavailable People, Hoping They’ll Change

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.” ~Unknown

We met at a bar with Skee-Ball and slushy margaritas for our first date.

She was gorgeous. I noticed that as soon as I walked in. I still wasn’t sure whether we’d have anything to talk about though. The messages we’d exchanged had been minimal.

It turned out we did.

Conversation flowed from one topic to the next—meandering from her passion for biology in college to how I tried to master mountain boarding at summer camp as a kid to …

The Secret to Letting Go (And Why It’s Okay if You Can’t Right Now)

By in Blog, letting go

“It’s not a matter of letting go—you would if you could. Instead of ‘Let it go,’ we should probably say ‘Let it be.'” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

When I was in my twenties, I went to see an acupuncturist because I’d been through a bad breakup and felt uncertain about my life path and purpose. “Went” is a kind way of saying it; I was dragged. I didn’t want to go, but my family was going and thought it might be supportive with all that I was going through.

I was dealing with a lot of rough emotions and felt like I …

[Free Online Event] The Dalai Lama Global Vision Summit 2023

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

Hi friends! I’m excited to share that the inspirational Dalai Lama Global Vision Summit 2023 starts next week.

This FREE event takes inspiration from the Dalai Lama’s vision, kindness, humility, and wisdom to explore how we can navigate our increasingly uncertain world with compassion and virtue.

If, like me, you’d like to help create a world with less pain and move love, this is a perfect opportunity to learn the skills and strategies you need make a positive difference.

Sign up today for free to access 20 expert presenters and join thousands of people around the world who share your …

Looking Back: The Silver Linings of the Pandemic and Why I’m Grateful

By in Blog, change & challenges

“You gotta look for the good in the bad, the happy in the sad, the gain in your pain, and what makes you grateful, not hateful.” ~Karen Salmansohn

The 2010 decade was difficult for me. Hardly a year went by without someone close to me passing away.

When the tragic decade started, I was in the midst of my residency training and free time was a luxury I did not have. When I graduated and became an attending physician, I was too busy caring for patients on my own to take a break.

In 2018, my world was shattered …

My Big Insight from Meeting the Woman Who Received My Daughter’s Heart

By in Blog, love & relationships

“I lay my head upon his chest, and I was with my boy again. I spent so long in darkness I never thought the night would end. But somehow Grace has found me…and I had to let him in.” ~From “Just Like That,” Bonnie Raitt

Bonnie Raitt’s surprise Grammy win for 2023 Song of the Year was no surprise to me. In “Just Like That” she tells the story of a woman who is unexpectedly visited by the man who got her late son’s heart. It’s a song that can reduce anyone to tears.

I have been that woman—that Donor …

30 Simple Mindfulness Practices to Help You Focus and Be Present

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~Thích Nhất Hạnh, Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

Do you ever feel like you’re too busy for meditation?

You understand the benefits, and you’d really like to commit to it. But you’re a busy person. You have deadlines to meet, food to prepare, bills to pay, kids to raise, family members to call—and even that’s barely scratching the surface.

We’ve all been there. I certainly have.

Before I found mindfulness, I struggled with concentration for …

8 Things Not to Say to Someone Who’s Struggling with Anxiety

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Sometimes just being there is enough.” ~Unknown

It felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like someone was holding me by the neck, against a wall, and the floor might drop beneath us at any moment.

I’m describing a panic attack, but this has actually happened to me before—being held by the neck against a wall, that is, not the other part. Growing up I experienced many moments like that, moments when I felt unsafe, physically and emotionally.

There were countless experiences that reinforced to me, over the years, that I couldn’t let my guard down, because at any moment I …

Nothing You Do Will Be Enough If the Relationship Isn’t Right

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.” ~Unknown

A couple of months ago my dear friend and I were chatting over coffee.

The subject turned into past relationships and the reasons why they didn’t work. My friend shared a story about her ex-fiancé—one of those “this clearly isn’t going to work, but I sure will try my hardest since I don’t give up” ones. Yeah, that kind.

It’s the kind of story that, telling it now, with hindsight and time on our sides, seems absurd. It’s the …

How I Stopped Being Everything I Hated About My Parents

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The beautiful thing about life is that you always change, grow, and get better. You aren’t defined by your past. You aren’t your mistakes.” ~Unknown

When I was an angsty fourteen-year-old, I remember screaming at my parents that I never (ever!) wanted to become like either of them. And I meant it.

My dad was a workaholic who was never at home. When he was at home, he was emotionally unavailable, arguing with my mother, or he’d escape the stress of our house by going to the betting shop to gamble.

My mother had erratic mood swings, did not allow …

How Restrictive Diets Mess with Our Brains and Lead to Bingeing

By in Blog, change & challenges, healthy habits

“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

When I went on my first diet in my teens (low-carb, it was back in the Atkins days), I wasn’t even overweight. I weighed less than 120 pounds, but my jeans had started to get a little tight, so I thought I needed to lose five pounds or so. At the time, I didn’t have a bad relationship with food; I just ate like a typical teenager—not the best choices.

About two hours in, I remember starting to obsess over the things I couldn’t eat …

How I Learned the Power of Letting Go After My Father Developed Dementia

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“There is beauty in everything, even in silence and darkness.” ~Helen Keller

When I was eleven years old, I would force myself to stay awake until the wee hours of the morning.

I was severely anorexic at a time when eating disorders were considered an “inconvenience” you brought on yourself. Anorexia was dismissed as a rich, white girl’s disease (although we were certainly not rich)—a disease that was easily curable with a prescription for a chocolate cake.

Although my emaciated body was a dead giveaway of my condition, it was school that noticed the change in me first. My once …

Stop Waiting for Perfection and Fall in Love with Your Life Now

By in Blog, happiness & fun

I know, so cliché, right? I can practically hear your eyes roll. But hear me out.

In a society driven by results, achievements, and ideals of perfection, there is a huge pitfall that I am becoming increasingly aware of—that we can be so focused on trying to achieve our “best life” that life itself could pass us by and we would have missed it. Missed the beauty of just being here.

We’ve all heard the sayings “Slow down and smell the roses” and “Life is a journey, not a destination.” We hear these sayings and pass them off as embroidery …

How ‘Griefcations’ Helped Me Heal from Loss and How Travel Could Help You Too

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“To travel is to take a journey into yourself.” ~Danny Kaye

The brochure read, “Mermaid tail, optional.” What forty-something mom doesn’t have a shimmering fish tail tucked in her closet for just the right occasion? Not me. I live in Minnesota. I’d borrow one when I got there.

I took a flight from Minneapolis to Panama City, and then a water taxi to a backpackers’ resort. Not the kind with frozen cocktails and bad DJs. The next thing I knew, I was on a sailboat, swinging from an aerial circus hoop suspended over the sparkling Caribbean Sea, dressed as a …