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Category “healthy habits”

How Resentment Affects Your Health and How to Forgive

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“If one by one we counted people out for the least sin, it wouldn’t take us long to get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.” ~Robert Frost 

There are two things that may come to mind when you think about forgiveness.

The many spiritual healers and gurus that talk about its importance, including but not limited to Buddha quotes.

And the person you think you will never forgive.

Forgiveness has a largely religious or spiritual connotation.

In Buddhist teachings, grudges are likened to holding onto hot coal, …

How Self-Care Can Actually Save the Planet

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“Take care of the earth and she will take care of you.” ~Unknown

The morning the sky turned red and the sun didn’t come out, I decided I wanted to sell my car. In a strange way, it seemed like an ultimate act of self-care.

Mind you, my wife and I are a two-car family and neither of us commute in the traffic-clogged Bay Area. So losing a car wouldn’t be a hardship. Instead, it would be a frank statement of living my values. A way to stage my own protest and live true.

I now understand this is …

What You Need to Hear If You Work Yourself to the Bone

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“Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.” ~Daniell Koepke

A couple years ago, a colleague of mine died from overwork.

In the days leading …

Do You Remember When You Didn’t Worry About Your Weight?

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“We need to start focusing on what matters—on how we feel, and how we feel about ourselves.” ~Michelle Obama

Do you remember the little girl (or boy) in you? The kid who ran, jumped, danced, laughed anywhere and everywhere they felt like it—before someone told them to shush, that they were too big, too loud, too much.

The kid who didn’t even know what a scale was before someone told them their size was wrong.

The kid who just ate—before someone gave them a mile-long list of “bad” foods and made them scared of food and distrusting of themselves.

After …

How to Foster Gratitude If You Have a History of Childhood Abuse

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“The pressure to be grateful kept me away from the more painful and real feelings of grief, anger, and abandonment. Growing up, gratitude was one more brick on the pile that kept all of the secrets of abuse in place. It was just one more thing that made me feel like being who I am, as I am, isn’t enough.” ~Vicki Peterson

The pathway to gratitude for a person with developmental trauma is not always straightforward.

You try your best and even purchased a journal specifically to try the ritual for yourself, but all you can think of to be …

How I Stopped Obsessing About the Wrong Things to Stay Healthy

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“To change your life, you need to change your priorities.” ~Mark Twain

Every year, come December, I used to obsess about air pollution. This was the time when my husband and I would take our young daughter to Poland, the country of my birth, to spend Christmas with the extended family. There my anxieties would hit the roof.

Once the heating season kicks off, and the coal starts to burn in home furnaces, Polish air becomes unbreathable. The particle pollution may exceed norms by as much as 3000%. Some days you can actually feel the air burning the back of …

For People Who Look in the Mirror and Cringe

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“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

When I was fourteen years old, I vividly remember the first time I put my fingers down my throat and made myself puke.

I remember feeling fat, ugly, unworthy, and like I was not good enough. I felt as if I had no control and I was unable to effectively process the strong emotions I was feeling. Binging and purging allowed me to temporarily release these feelings, to numb them out, and created a fallacy of control …

6 Things I Do Daily to Feel Good About Myself and Life

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All I have ever wanted is for somebody to put their hand on my shoulder and tell me “Everything is going to be alright.”

I couldn’t tell anybody of my need—my yearning—for this simple act, or why it mattered so much to me. This was something I prayed for. This was something that could not be bought.

In the deepest hours of my life (when I was out of work for a long time, grossly overweight, and with my father critically ill in hospital) I longed for a pat on the shoulder to tell me things would be okay. …

Being Skinny Doesn’t Make You Fit or Healthy

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“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

As a 5’4″ petite, half-Asian, people have always assumed that I’m fit. However, my slender figure hid the sins of a poor diet and exercise routine for a decade.

The truth is, being skinny doesn’t make you healthy. There are many hidden dangers of being so-called “skinny fat.” (Though this is a commonly used term for unhealthy skinny people, it’s worth noting that bigger doesn’t always mean unhealthy. So perhaps a more accurate term would be “skinny unhealthy.”)

Skinny fat, also known as “normal …

Stressed and Anxious? Here’s How to Stay Emotionally Healthy

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Health is not just about what you’re eating. It’s also about what you’re thinking and saying.”

A virus is spreading across the globe. Schools are shut down. People are out of work. Grocery stores are empty.

Weddings, graduations, vacations, a day in court—canceled.

This is the ultimate test in emotional resilience.

Uncertainty is one of the main reasons we stress, along with a lack of control, and right now we’ve got it in truckloads. I’ve spent the last decade building my …

How to Take Good Care of Yourself During the Coronavirus Pandemic

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Self-care is how you take your power back.” ~Lalah Delia

For more than a week now, I’ve been immersed in how to handle the pandemic that is unfolding all around us. By now, one thing is clear to me. We are either our greatest allies or our own worst enemies at such times. How we react makes all the difference.

One friend brought home a three-inch tome all about pandemics, determined to read her way through it. Another began advising everyone …

Why My “Self-Care” Did More Harm Than Good

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“Self-care is how you take your power back.” ~Lalah Delia

Self-care is not a bubble bath.

I mean, it might be, if you’re the kind of person who feels like they’re committing a mortal sin by allowing themselves to wade in hot water with a candle or a book for twenty minutes alone. If that’s you, then yes. Please allow yourself a bubble bath. Regularly!

Same with a massage. Or scheduling time for exercise. Or buying yourself some new underwear. Or taking a nap.

If the idea of doing these things makes you feel squirmy and selfish and, Nooooo, …

I Used to Be Hungry All the Time

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I mean, hungry allll the time. Basically, if I was awake, I was ready to eat.

I’d mindlessly pick at whatever was available.

I’d wander the kitchen feeling “snacky” all the time.

I’d be completely consumed with thoughts of what I was going to eat next from the minute I woke up til the minute I went to bed. And behind all the desires to eat were always the arguments—what I wanted to eat versus what I thought I was “supposed” to eat.

No matter how much I had just eaten, I could literally always still eat. I lived in …

If You Hate Your Body and Think You Need to Fix It…

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“That girl was fat, and I hate her.”

One of my clients said this the other day—about herself. Well, her little girl self. And my heart broke.

One of the very first things I do with clients is encourage them to practice self-compassion and kindness—just extending themselves the same basic human compassion and kindness that they would anyone else.

Very much the opposite of what most people who struggle with weight and food are used to. After all, when it comes to our weight and food, we’re programmed with messages like “You just have to want it more, be motivated, …

What You Need to Know If You Obsess About Weight Loss

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“By choosing healthy over skinny you are choosing self-love over self-judgment.” ~Steve Maraboli

If we actually care about health, in 2020, we have to stop trying to lose weight.

I know, that’s the opposite of what we’ve been taught to believe, but stay with me while I explain why I say that.

Dieting and weight loss obsessions are actually causing weight gain and poorer overall health outcomes in our population.

Our culture has been obsessed with weight loss for generations. We’ve been constantly bombarded with ridiculous “lose fat fast” claims by more and more supposedly miraculous diets. It’s been going …

12 Habits to Adopt to Make This Your Best Year Yet

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Many of us head into the New Year with big goals and ambitions. We think about everything that seems to be lacking in our lives and imagine ourselves far happier and more fulfilled on the other side of massive change.

There’s no denying that certain accomplishments can amp up our life satisfaction, but I’ve found that our daily habits are the biggest contributor to our happiness.

You can have a job that excites you, the best body of your life, and the perfect partner for you, but none of it will fully satisfy you if you don’t also prioritize the …

Take the 31-Day Healthier You Challenge (Giveaway!)

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It’s almost that time again—the beginning of a New Year, when many of us consider how we can become happier, healthier, more fulfilled people.

While I personally think we can create positive change at any time of year, I’ve always appreciated the sense of possibility that January brings. And I often try to start the year with healthy mini-habits that boost my physical and mental health—because everything’s easier from there.

Whatever you want to accomplish—whether you want to make changes in your career, expand your social circle, or open yourself up to love—you’re better positioned to do it if you’re …

How to Avoid Emotional Burnout This Holiday Season

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Whether you celebrate or not, the holiday season can be stressful for many reasons. From experiencing difficult emotions like grief, anger, or resentment that seem to resurface out or nowhere, to the pressures of making everything perfect for everyone, there’s a lot of opportunity for emotional burnout.

I’m no stranger to painful emotions re-emerging around this time of the year. Christmas used to trigger in me the feelings of loneliness and guilt for years, following my move across the country and away from my family and friends.

Moving was a conscious choice my husband and I made soon after …

How Mother Nature and I Manage My Depression

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“I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.” ~John Burroughs

I sat on the front stoop sobbing, unable to move. Hunched over like a heaving dog hugging my knees and clutching a wad of decomposing tissues. About fifteen minutes before, I’d managed to get myself off the couch where I’d been parked, withered and absent, for the fourth consecutive day, and had made it through the front door.

Once there, I tried to stay upright, but like cool syrup I slid down the side of the wrought iron railing and down …

The Simple Changes That Reduced My Phone-Induced Anxiety

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“Simple living doesn’t solve all my problems, it just removes distractions.” ~Melissa Camara Wilkins

At times it’s felt like my phone was my only access to the outside world. A place to connect in the middle of the night. The means to stay in touch with friends and family on the other side of the globe. It was a lifeline.

Until it wasn’t.

Improved sleep, reduced stress, and a mindful relationship with technology—they were high on my wellness “should have achieved by now” list.

I’m not sure which was bothering me more, the actual stress of not …