Hi Viviana,

It is very difficult to make a relationship work when meeting someone on line. I have tried this method several times, and it is always very complicated. There were many red flags in the beginning. First, I would never get into any type of romantic relationship with a man who lies. That is a big no-no. Once lying starts without therapy, it is hard to stop compulsive lying. The second red flag, his ex was still heavily involved in his life complicating things further, creating more lies and deception from him. The Third and biggest red flag is that he stated several times, he is not ready for a relationship. This does not look promising. You deserve better. A healthy, emotionally available, loving, honest and supportive man. Lose this loser. You are better than this. x

Hi Annmarie,

They have all this there, museums, art, theater, beautiful restaurants, top 10 beaches in the country, everything. Not too mention, some of the best looking men anywhere..lol..

Hi Annmarie,

I used to live in Washington DC, and had a hard time there. It was hard to make friends. Unless you are in Congress, a politician, or someone who actually works in politics, you are pretty much ignored. The first question I was always asked was “so what kind of work do you do”? When I would go to a cafe on the River, it was very crowded, nobody really talks to you, and they are aloof and distant if you try to talk to them. Everthing is centered around politics. No one wants to talk about anything else. I did not stay there for long. But that was my experience. Yours might be different.

People are very, very friendly, open and warm in Florida. Many are transplants and want to meet people. I would walk on the beach and people would come up and talk to me, or I would be in the Jacuzzi, and people would ask me to play tennis with them. I lived in Sarasota, then the St. Petersburg/Clearwater area. There is always a nice breeze that cuts down on the heat and humidity that comes from the ocean. It’s gorgeous there. By the water, and very easy to meet nice people. Just some suggestions. I wish you the best of luck on whatever you decide. x

Hi Jacob,

I think many people feel alot of hopelessness, sadness and depression during the shorter months (is it winter there?) I am in the United States, I live in a cold state. We barely see the sun, it doesn’t start getting light out (dawn) until 7:45 am. It’s dark by 6pm. Although the days are getting a little longer, it’s still very frigid (going to get below 0 tonight).

Many people struggle with the shorter days with cloudy gloomy days, hardly any sun. This is called SAD or (Seasonal Affective Disorder) it is a real mental illness. You can Google it to find out more about it. This may be what you are going through. 1 out of 7 people struggle with this, leaving them suicidal ideation, depressed, unmotivated, and everything you described. There is hope, there is help. First you can go to a mental health clinic and get screened for depression and seasonal affective disorder. There are many medications that help with this. Don’t eorry, they won’t turn you into a “zombie” or “numb” you. I take Wellbutrin, as I too struggle with this, and I have got my life back, motivation, etc.

There are also supplements you can take such as Vitamin D3, (I take 1000IU), and Fish oil capsules (Omega 3), that have been proven to help people with sadness during the shorter months with little sunlight. Many people in Norway and Alaska where a research was done report feeling a sense of well being after taking Vitamin D, and Fish or Cod Liver Oil. (I take 1 teaspoon Carlson’s Cod Liver oil, lemon flavored before dinner) and it helps greatly.

As far as your job, it sounds like you may need to pursue something you find purpose in. It’s not much fun to spend all day at a job that is not fulfilling. There is a good book called “What Color is Your Parachute” which asks questions and matches your personality to a job tailored to that. It is a best-selling book, updated ever year. It has been around for a long time. I hope others will post with any suggestions or advice. I hope you feel better soon, please keep posting.

Hi Divani Girl,

I don’t have much too add, as you have received some great advice. I do hope you are feeling somewhat better. The only healer, I know of is time. Allow yourself time to grieve. The time is different for everyone. Be patient with the process. You will have good days and bad days. In the meantime, there is a book that always have me comfort. It is a best selling book, always updated. Has been around since the 1980’s. It’s called “How To Fall Out of Love” by Dr. Deborah Phillips. It will bring you comfort. I hope you will give it a try. You can buy it online. I hope you continue to feel better, one day at a time. x

Hi Ash,

I always think everyone deserves a second chance, but in this case, I do not think you will find the stability you are looking for with him.

Hi Mary Ellen,

I too am on Match. I met my first match and love on there when it began in 1995. Back then it was only $7.95 to join. No pictures were really required back then. So, ours was a blind date. His first line in response to my profile was “want to go biking”? I almost didn’t respond because it wasn’t a “real introductory letter” but I did. This was before texting came around, cell phones, etc. So, I just came straight out and said I was not very good at writing back and forth, too impersonal and would be mind talking on phone. He said no, and top my surprise, he gave me his phone number.

I called him the night after and we talked for three hours, and he asked me out for dinner. I loved his voice and personality and had butterflies during our conversation. We met, not knowing what each other looked like and it was instant chemistry. We did get engaged a year later, but sadly, things did not work out. This is why I don’t believe in texting or e-mailing..too impersonal. When men insist on “texting” my phrase which has always worked is “any way, we can get past being pen pals”. Men don’t like to be thought of as “pen pals” so try to get his number, and why not just call him? Texting is too impersonal, too short, too distant, no way to get to know someone. Ask for his number. What do you have to lose? If he does not want to give it out, he is not interested in anymore than just a hook-up. I hope it all works out. E Harmony is also a good dating site. x