It Doesn’t Matter If Other People Don’t Like You
How to Know If You Should Speak Your Mind
“Integrity isn’t a morality issue; it’s an energy issue.” ~Gay Hendricks
One of the biggest questions I, and many other people I know, face as we go about our days is this: When is it worthwhile to speak our minds, and when should we keep our thoughts to ourselves?
There are usually both good reasons and bad reasons for speaking out or remaining silent, so how do we know which is which? It all comes down to our own energy, and that is something we can learn how to discern.
Integrity means a feeling of wholeness, or being of one …
If You Think You’re Not Good Enough to Pursue Your Passion
“I think something people need to understand is that others disliking you is not a bad thing. When you are embodying your true authentic self, it creates fear in people who still operate from the ego. If you want to grow, heal, and evolve you have to let go of wanting to be liked.” ~Audrey Kitching
Since I was a child, I have always felt a huge need to express myself and let my inspiration flow. I was a creative and playful kid, with a vivid imagination and an enormous passion for writing.
As a teenager, I became interested in …
5 Meditation “Mistakes” That Increase Our Suffering
“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything, it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few.” ~Shunryu Suzuki
So many of us come to meditation through our suffering. Nearly everyone who has come to walk the spiritual path can spin a tale of sorrow, frustration, and often devastation. Through our life struggles and difficulties, we become conditioned into habitual patternings of mind that seem to offer us no escape, and often turn to meditation to find relief.
I always say that anxiety was my …
What Helps Me Get Strong When Life Gets Hard
“It’s time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you and make you dance like a puppet.” ~Marcus Aurelius
In 2016 I was about to graduate with high honors from a top university. I had mastered Mandarin. Eleven months before graduation, I had secured a job from a reputable accounting firm. I was in a stable relationship with one of the most gorgeous girls on campus. Life doesn’t get any better than this for an international student 1o,000 miles away from home.
Slowly, things began to change. Three months before …
How to Let Go of Your Family’s Expectations and Be Who You Want to Be
My parents often spoke about coming to America from Nigeria with one portmanteau.
I imagine that their suitcase was filled with their hopes, dreams, and expectations, and in many ways, I feel like I was metaphorically handed this suitcase of desires and things the day I was born. It would now be my load to carry and make sense of.
But when I opened that portmanteau, I realized that the clothes didn’t quite fit, and there were notebooks full of expectations I would never meet.
Although I had a reverence for this great object and the hands that had …
How to Audit Your Life by Asking the Right Questions
“Don’t let your fear paralyze you. The scariest paths often lead to the most exciting places.” ~Lori Deschene
I first learned about the concept of focus creating reality in 2004 when I was given William Whitecloud’s book The Magician’s Way.
The first chapter is about the main character having a magic golf lesson. He learns that when people play golf, most of them think about how to hold the golf club, how to stand, and how to move the club. He calls this the “swing circle” and recounts how golfers often get caught there, rather than just focusing on …
The Art of Self-Soothing: How to Make Resilience More Sustainable
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” ~Micheal Jordan
I believe that self-soothing is the key to accessing all happiness and success. All things being equal, when someone is able to self-soothe, they are more resourceful and more powerful than those who haven’t learned that skill yet. Here’s why.
Great success (whether professional or personal) comes with a great deal of responsibility. That …
What You Need to Do If You Feel Overwhelmed
“You are worth the quiet moment, you are worth the deeper breath. You are worth the time it takes to slow down, be still, and rest.” ~ Morgan Harper Nichols
I want to talk about overwhelm, which is something I suspect I’m not alone in dealing with, especially given our current global situation.
Even before the pandemic struck, I was on the edge of overwhelm. I live with two autoimmune conditions—rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia—both of which cause me to have health issues when I’m stressed out.
I started the year completely stressed out, thanks to a new health condition …
How to Release Your Attachment When You Can’t Let Someone Go
I’m gonna be honest here, I can honestly say that I’ve never had any cords of attachment to a person, place, or thing—that is, until recently. This cord crippled me and broke me down to a point where I questioned who I was and my own personal strength.
I think before I tell my story it’s important to know what exactly a cord of attachment is and how it can hurt you. A lot.
Afterward, I’ll tell you why cutting cords is not very effective and what you need to do instead.
What is a Cord of Attachment?
People come …
How Self-Care Can Actually Save the Planet
“Take care of the earth and she will take care of you.” ~Unknown
The morning the sky turned red and the sun didn’t come out, I decided I wanted to sell my car. In a strange way, it seemed like an ultimate act of self-care.
Mind you, my wife and I are a two-car family and neither of us commute in the traffic-clogged Bay Area. So losing a car wouldn’t be a hardship. Instead, it would be a frank statement of living my values. A way to stage my own protest and live true.
I now understand this is …
A Love Note to Introverts: 10 Superpowers That Make You Amazing
“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside, awakens.” ~Carl Jung
Dear Introvert,
We live in an extraverted world, one that is not always kind to introverts. You may be that introvert who was bullied because you were quiet, or who felt as though you never fit in. Maybe you used food, alcohol, or substances to numb the pain, which created its own set of problems.
First and foremost, know that you are perfect as you are.
Being introverted doesn’t make you weird, awkward, anti-social, or too sensitive. …
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