fbpx
Menu

Search Results for "past relationship" — 1208 posts

Congruent Depression: What It Is and How to Overcome It

by

“Not all of the depression that people experience is an illness… Unlike clinical depression, congruent depression is actually appropriate to your situation.” ~Dr. K

​Every day is the same. Every day I’m stiff. Every day I’m tired. These are the two main things that people with fibromyalgia deal with. It’s been like that for a couple of years now. Six to be exact.

I’ve faced so much hardship all at one time: no job, no income, no friends, dealing with an emotionally immature/narcissistic mother, and not living where I want to live. All of this is making me sleep poorly.…

Why I Now Believe Everyone Is Doing the Best They Can

by

“You just never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. No matter how happy someone looks, how loud their laugh is, how big their smile is, there can still be a level of hurt that is indescribable. So be kind. Even when others are not, choose to be kind.” ~Andrea Russett 

Everyone is doing the best they can. When they can do better, they will.

“I disagree,” you say. “I see people who are not doing their best all the time!”

Before the year 2006, I had a ton of complaints about the world and the people around …

If You’re Insecure and Afraid of Rejection Like Me…

by

“How brave the moon shines in her skin; outnumbered by the stars.” ~Angie Welland-Crosby

I have this reoccurring dream where I am about to teach a yoga class. I stand to teach, and no one is paying any attention to me. They are all distracted or in deep conversation with one another and have no interest in engaging in the class.

As I begin, one by one the students get up and leave. I am mortified and discouraged, though I continue to teach anyway.

I wake up from the dream with a sinking feeling in my stomach and heaviness in …

How to Make Everything Easier by Accepting the Present Moment

by

“The power of now can only be realized now. It requires no time and effort. Effort means you’re trying hard to get somewhere and so you are not present, welcoming this moment as it is.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Eight years ago, I was very depressed. I wanted nothing more than to stop feeling this way and dreamed of escaping my body. I had struggled with depression for many years, and I was terrified that I might feel that way forever.

Someone recommended I do a mindfulness-based course. This turned out to be the one of the most helpful parts of my …

8 Ways to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think of You

by

“You can’t force anyone to value, respect, understand, or support you, but you can choose to spend your time around people who do.” ~Lori Deschene

It can be paralyzing.

The worry about what other people think about you, I mean. That worry can hinder you from pursuing your dreams. It can stop you from expressing your true nature and stand in the way of the life you so badly want to create.

This worry can easily get your mind wandering to dark places and trigger feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and self-doubt. When it has a grip on you, you …

What If There’s Beauty on the Other Side of Your Pain?

by

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” ~Albert Einstein

“I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to be here. I can’t do this. It hurts too much. It’s too hard.”

I’m curious how many times I’ve heard these words over my lifetime. From different people, ages, genders, ethnicities, and walks of life. The words the same, the heaviness no different from one to the next. Hopelessness has a specific tone attached to it. Flat, low, and empty.

Being the child of a parent who committed suicide, there is a …

44 Things to Never Say to a Rape Survivor

by

“It was not your fault, even if you were drunk, even if you were wearing a low-cut mini-dress, even if you were out walking alone at night, even if you were on a date with the rapist and kind of liked him but didn’t want to have sex with him.” ~Joanna Connors

Child sexual abuse victims who speak up are incredibly brave and vulnerable. If a child comes to you for support, be mindful of your energy and reactions. If you need to ask them questions to get a better understanding, be mindful of your tone, body language, and intonation.…

Healing from the Conflicting Loss of a Difficult Parent

by

“Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I had a tumultuous and interesting relationship with my father. He was a strong, proud man in his spirit as well as in his physical appearance. In my younger years, I …

Tips from a Former Addict: How I Made a Change for Good

by

I was a drug addict. Yes, I did it all. No, my childhood was not full of abuse, I was actually a pretty lucky kid, and I had it no worse and no better than anyone else, except for maybe some “daddy issues.”

I am not much for blame. I know who was smoking, sniffing, and popping, and it wasn’t the bad angel on my shoulder who made me do it, it was just me.

I can give you the exact reason why I started doing drugs. I was afraid to just be myself, simple enough. Everyone else’s thoughts …

What to Do When You Can’t Seem to Love Yourself

by

“You’ll be amazed at what you attract when you start believing in what you deserve.” ~Unknown

“You just need to love yourself more.”

I’ve heard that advice so many times when I’ve felt rejected, inadequate, and not enough. And instead of that advice helping me, it has just made me feel even more rejected, inadequate, and not enough.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t angry at the person giving me the advice—I was angry with myself for not being able to love myself unconditionally.

It’s easier to feel love for yourself when things are going well. When …

How to Be Successfully Content with Your Life

by

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” ~Maya Angelou

Color within the lines. Math, physics and chemistry—there’s absolutely no point in taking drama. A main meal of straight A’s and a side order of volunteer work. A four-year degree with a “safe” major from a reputable college. Then comes the corner cubicle career at a listed company. What about the four-bedroom house and the annual holidays abroad? We can’t possibly forget about those things

All through life, from infancy to adulthood, we are told what it means to be successful. We are …

How I Forgave When Life Felt Painful and Unfair

by

“Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that their behavior was ‘OK.’ What it does mean is that we’re ready to move on. To release the heavy weight. To shape our own life, on our terms, without any unnecessary burdens. Forgiveness is pure freedom—and forgiveness is a choice.” ~Dr. Suzanne Gelb

It happened, again.

I was sitting opposite one of my closest family members. The irritation coming from me could almost be felt and touched in the room. One comment from him and boom, it was like pouring gasoline on a fire. I couldn’t help myself, I used to get so upset in …

3 Ways Decluttering Can Help You Accept Yourself

by

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brené Brown

I had just squeezed all my possessions into a jumbo-sized moving van and relocated to a teeny tiny apartment. I had landed a new job in a new city, and everything seemed peachy keen… at least, on the surface.

It was a fresh spring evening in 2015, and I’d spent the entire day trying to fit all my clutter into my new home. Picture this: my 350-square-foot attic had sloped ceilings, the world’s smallest kitchen, and …

Beating the Odds: Why I Survived and My Brother Did Not

by

My brother, Marc-Emile, sparkled brilliantly. At sixteen years old, he could expound on physics or Plato, calculus, or car mechanics, Stravinsky or Steppenwolf. At seventeen, he began reading the Great Books series, starting with Homer and Aeschylus and moving forward through the Greeks. I don’t know how many of those Great Books he read. He didn’t have that long.

My brother had everything going for him. He was kind, ethical, and handsome. He graduated high school a year early, at the top of his class, with virtually perfect SATs. He started at MIT as a physics major. He ended at …

How to Stop Over-Apologizing, From a Lifelong Over-Apologizer

by

“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you lived through it. Honor your path. Trust your journey. Learn, grow, evolve, become.” ~Creig Crippen

When I was a child, my immediate reaction to most things was “I’m sorry.”

Had to miss class because of a field trip for a different class? I’m sorry.

Something bad happened to someone I knew? I’m sorry.

It didn’t matter what the situation was or if I directly caused it or even if I was involved in it in any way whatsoever. Even in the best of situations, strangely, I’d figure out …

6 Simple Acts to Make the World a Better Place

by

“The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.” ~William James

I’ll never forget the call.

It was 1989 and, like most college students, I spent winter break in Florida looking for some sun. Stepping off the airplane and being greeted by a burst of warm air was the best. As I entered the terminal, I had the added benefit of being greeted by my maternal grandparents, who lived in North Miami Beach.

Lounging at the pool, going on walks with them, or eating out, the experience was a wonderful way to decompress after …

Healing from Abuse and Reclaiming My Dreams

by

TRIGGER WARNING: This post mentions sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“Along the way I stopped into a coffee shop. All around me normal, everyday city types were going about their normal, everyday affairs…In spite of which—or, rather, all the more because— here I was, sitting in this coffee shop, drinking my coffee, feeling a desperate loneliness. I alone was the outsider. I had no place here… Here I had no ties to anyone. Fact is, I’d come to reclaim myself.” ~Haruki Murakami

“You don’t have any goals.”

“I wondered why someone your age and …

How Marijuana Was Great for My Anxiety and Why I Stopped Using It

by

“When solving problems, dig at the root instead of just hacking at the leaves.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo

This is an account of my experience using marijuana as a device to help my anxiety, why I’m glad I had it, and why I no longer need it.

This story isn’t an advocation for or against smoking pot. It’s a story to shed some insight into how and why it helped certain ailments and my journey to lasting change without it.

How Smoking Pot Helped My Anxiety

For most of my life I was a closet anxiety sufferer.

That’s mostly because …

How to Reduce the Harmful Impacts of Technology

by

“Today be thankful and think how rich you are. Your family is priceless. Your health is wealth. Your time is gold.” ~Unknown

The other day I read a science fiction story called “The Pedestrian” by Ray Bradbury. It’s about Leopard Mead, a citizen of TV-centered society, who enjoys walking at night.

The routine eventually lands him a cell in a psychiatric center because nobody understands why he does that. In the television-dominated city, people don’t walk. They’re too busy sticking their eyeballs to their screens.

I wonder if there will be a day when technology takes over us all, when …

Healing PTSD One Breath and One Day at a Time

by

“Recovering from PTSD is being fragile and strong at the same time. It’s a beautiful medley of constantly being broken down and pieced together. I am a painting almost done to completion, beautiful but not quite complete.” ~Kate J. Tate

I never considered myself as a trauma survivor.

I didn’t think I had something as severe as PTSD. I reserved that diagnosis to those who suffered from things far worse than me.

It felt dramatic and attention-seeking to label myself as a “trauma survivor.”

First of all, what is trauma? The term tends to be loosely thrown around, and …