The Best Gift We Can Give
Why We Shouldn’t Force Advice on People & What Actually Helps
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~Stephen R. Covey
This is a post about listening.
I know it’s really unsexy. It’s a topic that’s like the sun; nobody looks directly at it. But you want to create deep and lasting connections with others, and real changes for your loved ones, right?
Right. Stick with me.
Think about your typical day. How often do you listen in a conversation with others without being fully present?
Go on, be honest.
You find that you float in and out of awareness. Certain …
Why Insecurity & Approval-Seeking Lead to Unhealthy Relationships
“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” ~Robert Holden
As a child I was carefree and enthusiastic. Aren’t most kids? At some point, though, life began to impact me and to affect how I felt about myself.
For as long as I can remember, I was a chubby kid. I began using food as a means of coping, and my family didn’t seem to see it as an issue. Coming from an Italian family, food was correlated with love.
As I moved into my adolescent years, being chubby was no longer “cute,” and other …
7 Clues You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship
“You don’t let go of an unhealthy relationship because you stop caring about them. You let go because you finally start caring about you.” ~Charles Orlando
Most of us have experienced the pain of being in an unhealthy relationship.
It took me a long time to admit that I was in one. When I finally took off the rose-tinted glasses, I saw my relationship for what it was: an exhausting, lonely experience, with no real long-term benefits, that sucked the life out of me.
I recognized that the relationship was causing me to feel worse about myself, not better, resulting …
Two Lists You Need to Make If You Want to Be True to Yourself
“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” ~Alexander Hamilton
For over a decade I worked as a paralegal in the corporate world. I worked hard, and I was a dedicated employee, but I was treated poorly by my superiors.
After a decade of working in this industry I felt lost, without purpose, and I constantly dreaded the next day when I would return to my job.
One day, an attorney that I had worked for came into my office and screamed at me, leaving me in tears.
At that moment I politely shut my office …
How to Speak to Someone About an Unspeakable Loss
“It’s not about saying the right things. It’s about doing the right things.” ~Unknown
Years ago, my family and I moved to a bucolic little town in New Zealand, where we were immediately swept up into a group of ex-pats and locals. We felt deeply connected to this community by the time I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in the local hospital.
When our son was three months old, a doctor heard a heart murmur. Twenty-four hours later, he died.
In the days and weeks that followed, I wandered in my own fog of grief as I went …
10 Powerful Tips for Building a Deep, Lasting Love
“We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.” ~Phyllis Koss
The priest at our wedding advised us, “It’s not enough to say, ‘I want to marry you’ just today. You’ve got to be able to say that every day.”
Problems and challenges in life can be like the wind, which blows unpredictably. You can’t control the wind, but you can learn to set your sails and to make repairs.
We’ve now been married for thirty years. Life, with all its ups and downs, has taught us a few lessons about building a lasting romance.
Here are ten tips …
3 Things We Can All Do to Create Stronger, Happier Relationships
“Love is the absence of judgment.” ~Dalai Lama
I used to be one of those moms.
Let me explain.
I was a single mom for literally my daughter’s entire childhood. That’s okay—I was a control freak, so it really suited me. I got to make all the decisions. Perfect!
And it was… for me. Not so much for my daughter, but then in those days I was only focused on getting through the day and paying the bills.
We coped. I made the rules, set the boundaries, and expected her to tow the line.
Which she mostly did, …
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