The Best Way to Cheer Yourself Up
How to Make Peace with the Past and Stop Being a Victim
“Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” ~Harvey Fienstein
Do you usually feel as if everything bad that can happen will happen, and it will happen to you?
You must be the unluckiest person on the face of the planet. Opportunities never work out. Doors that should open close in your face. Friends let you down. Bosses don’t see your value. There seems to be a universal conspiracy to keep you stuck right where you are now.
You feel like your life is always going to be like this.…
How to Get the Excitement of a Fresh Start Every Day
“Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.” ~Nikos Kazantzakis
One minute I was a young warrior in a guild of travelers, the next, a middle-aged aristocrat in a strange Victorian world.
A pretty standard day. Oh, did I forget to mention where I was?
I was at a role-playing convention. That was over twenty years ago. Here’s how the fun worked.
Every three to four hours, I would play a different session. That means I would become a new character and go on new adventures in another world, with different people. It was …
Why We Don’t Need to Try So Hard to Be Better
“To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it.” ~Unknown
I’ve always been an overachiever. In sixth grade, I spent weeks memorizing over five pages of the poem “Horatius at the Bridge” for extra credit, even though I already had an A in the class.
When I started therapy in my mid-twenties to deal with depression and panic attacks, I turned my overachieving tactics to self-improvement. I spent hours journaling, going to meetings, talking to mentors, reading books, and beating myself up when I fell into old habits.
I always worried: Was I doing it right? Was I …
Increase Your Self-Love: 8 Ways to Be Good to Yourself
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection.” ~Buddha
Someone asked me a couple of years ago out of ten, how much did I love myself? I said four. I had to give my immediate, intuitive answer, as this was the honest truth.
Four! That came as a shock to me. It’s low. I thought I was pretty good with myself. I’m smart, multitalented, not bad looking, generally happy, I have lots of friends and enjoy life.
But now the truth began to shine. With introspection I could see why the …
Why Advice Doesn’t Help When We’re Hurting (and What Does)
“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we’re listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” ~Karl A. Menninger
I remember my first call like it was yesterday.
I answered the phone, heart beating out of my chest, hand firm on a sheet of local emergency phone numbers.
The voice on the other end was full of… meek embarrassment.
Not exactly what I was expecting.
“Uhh, I’m really sorry… I’m not, uhh… I’m not suicidal…. I just… I just had a …
Coping with Loss and Heartbreak: How to Get Through the Pain
“The unendurable is the beginning of the curve of joy.” ~Djuna Barnes
November, 2014. A story you’ve heard a million times. The person I believed with all my heart to be “the one” ceased to feel the same way about me.
My heart and soul shattered, I had no desire to live, the whole works.
Having your heart broken, especially by someone you truly loved is, from my perspective, the worst kind of pain there is. It makes you lose all sense of self, reality, purpose, and faith. To me, it felt like my soul was being severed …
How to Let Go of the Stuff That Keeps You Emotionally Stuck
“The totality of my possessions reflects the totality of my being. I am what I have … What is mine is myself.” ~Jean Paul Sartre
What kind of relationship do you have with your stuff?
Embracing who we are naturally requires a letting go of who we aren’t, but perhaps want to be. That ties directly to our physical belongings, which can renew and inspire us in the direction we’re headed—or hold us back.
Over the years, I’ve found that the objects with the most powerful grip on us are not necessarily those we use frequently and with ease, but …
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