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Search Results for "peace " — 1998 posts

The Truth About Body-Positive Activists on Social Media

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“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” ~Pema Chodron

I’m on my phone, posting a photo of myself on Instagram. It’s a vulnerable shot—I’m holding my bare belly.

I type in the caption “Accepting my body isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.”

I mean this, but I also have voices in my head telling me to delete the picture because I’m gross, not good enough, and a phony.

I get half a dozen comments supporting me, mostly emoji hearts. One comment reads, “I wish I had your confidence.” I feel weird …

How to Live a Life You Love (Even If Others Doubt You)

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“Not all those who wander are lost.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien

I will always remember those words.

I had just decided to ditch my old life. Instead of pursuing a cushy career as a lawyer, I wanted to create a business as a freelance writer because it felt like a fulfilling thing to do.

“You’ll never make it work. You’ll regret your decision,” a loved one told me.

Those words pushed my buttons. I felt scared.

What if I would regret it?

Was I stupid, even delusional, for thinking there was an alternative to living a pre-planned life with a secure nine-to-five …

Why I Won’t Just “Let Go” of the Hurt in My Heart

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“It’s not a matter of ‘letting go.’ You would if you could. Instead of ‘let it go’ we should probably say ‘let it be.’” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I’m not good at heartbreak. I wrestle the circumstances, hate it, and can’t let go of the hope that the relationship could be transformed.

Aren’t there people who do heartbreak well? Aren’t there folks who sit in heartbreak for just a little while, then shortly fold up their hands and accept the situation? Sometimes it seems there are those who even flip a switch—”It didn’t work, we tried our best”—and that’s that, and they …

How to Journal Away Your Disappointment in Yourself

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“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.” ~Audrey Kitching

“I can’t do this.”

“Why do I look so fat? I’m disgusting!”

“I haven’t done enough today. I am so useless.”

“I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Oh my god, why did this happen to me? What am I going to do …

How to Practice Joy and Bravery

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“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.” ~Alphonse Karr

“You should have told them. You should have told them you like it. They need to know people are happy there.”

“I know I should have. But I didn’t want to seem insensitive or make anyone feel bad.”

We sat at the dinner table, my boyfriend looking at me, me staring at my cleaned plate. We’d had variations of this conversation before. I tell him my coworkers aren’t happy at work, but I am happy at work, and he is forever confused as to …

Never Forget That You Have the Power to Choose

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“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Dedicate today to the power of choice. Your choice. You can’t choose everything that you experience in life, but what you can choose is mightier than any circumstance, outcome, or other person’s opinion.

Where you focus your mind, how you use your words, and how you treat yourself and others are all up to you. One chapter at a time, you write your own story.

We all have the power to choose what …

How to Free Yourself from Your Spiritual Drama

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“You have no friends. You have no enemies. You only have teachers.” ~Ancient Proverb

My very wise aunt, a talented psychotherapist and one of my spiritual teachers, has told me many times that the people, places, and things that trigger us are just “props in our spiritual drama.”

This phrase has stuck with me for years because it’s catchy and it rings so true to me. If we are struggling, it’s not a matter of the external force, it’s about what it provokes in us.

We don’t heal by trying to change others. We heal through breaking cycles; through knowing …

The Power of Saying No (Even to People You Love)

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“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

“Yes, of course.”

“Yes, that’s no trouble at all.”

“Yes, I can do that.”

“Yes, I’d love to help.”

Yes, yes, yes. “Yes” seemed to be the key word in my relationships with partners, family, friends, and colleagues.

I wanted to be helpful, kind, and thoughtful; I wanted to be there when people needed me. I didn’t want to let them down or disappoint or displease them. I spent a lot of my time devoted to my self-image as a capable, nice …

How to Free Yourself from the Burden of Your Potential

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“Changing directions in life is not tragic. Losing passion in life is.”

We all have natural talents, and in some cases, we may have devoted years to honing our skills and turning them into a career. As we’re on the road to achieving our goal or fulfilling our potential, there may be this invisible weight that starts to bear down on us.

That’s because there is a burden of potential. The burden is that fear that we’ll never reach our full potential, and the obligation and pressure we feel when we don’t want to continue on the path we’re on.…

Why I Now Complain Less and Appreciate More

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 “It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy.” ~Unknown

I used to be a complainer, a fault-finder, a grumbler. I would grumble a hundred times a day about mundane issues, be it the weather, the traffic, or my husband.

I complained when my husband didn’t help me around the house, and grumbled when he helped. It took me some time to realize that it was not him or his lack of housekeeping skills that made me unhappy. I was unhappy because I was turning into an ungrateful person.

I have some fond and …

My Life Will Be My Message

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“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” ~Gautama Buddha

I have meditated for over half my life. It didn’t always look like meditation, and I didn’t always refer to it as such, but the driving need to introspectively understand my universe has been an ever-present presence,.

For a long time, there was a certain guarded nature to my practice. It was intimate for me. I didn’t have words to explain what I was doing in a way that didn’t seem crazy. …

Confrontation Can Be Hard, But It’s Worth It

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“When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” ~Fred Rogers

I was immediately uncomfortable when the older gentleman rode up on his bike and loudly told us that our kids shouldn’t be riding their bikes on the velodrome; it was against the rules.

If it had been just me and my daughter, I would have said no problem and left the area, maybe even apologized. But I wasn’t alone, I was with my friend and her son, and my friend doesn’t back down from confrontation like I do.

Instead of saying okay …

When Someone You Love Is Grieving: How to Really Help

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“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” ~Henri Nouwen

It’s hard to stand at the edge of someone else’s grief.

There’s the awkwardness. You always feel a little like an uninvited guest who arrived late and missed the first half of the conversation—a conversation that turns out to be a wrestle between another person …

7 Ways Running Helps Me Live My Best Life

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“I don’t run to add days to my life, I run to add life to my days.” ~Ronald Rook

Growing up, I was always a bit on the tubby side, or, as my mum would say, “stocky.”

Old and grainy camcorder footage from the early nineties shows me at four years old, waddling sassily around the garden naked on a summer’s day. Watching the nostalgic home footage recently, I thought to myself, “Wow, I had a beer belly long before I began drinking beer.”

Apart from a couple of years playing football in my teens, competitive sports and exercise were …

The Best Thing to Say to Someone Who Won’t Understand You

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“True love is born from understanding.” ~Buddha

I believe one of our strongest desires in life is to feel understood.

We want to know that people see our good intentions and not only get where we’re coming from but get us.

We want to know they see us. They recognize the thoughts, feelings, and struggles that underlie our choices, and they not only empathize but maybe even relate. And maybe they’d do the same thing if they were in our shoes.

Maybe, if they’d been where we’ve been, if they’d seen what we’ve seen, they’d stand right where we …

From the Spouse of a Narcissist: Here’s What You Need to Know

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“You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren’t alone.” ~Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children 

When I first met my husband, when he had just started medical school at a large university, I thought he was just insecure. I believed that he would grow out of his need to be the center of attention, receive constant validation, and appear correct and knowledgeable about everything.

I believed he would become surer of himself and would …

Why Speaking My Truth Is the Cornerstone of My Recovery

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“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” ~Kim McMillen

I like to think of my inner self as a curly-haired stick figure who lives inside my chest cavity. Like most inner selves, mine has a simple, childlike quality. She smiles when she’s happy and cries when she’s sad. She has an intuitive sense of what is right and wrong. She speaks her needs simply, the way a young girl might.

My inner …

How to Listen to Your Body and Give It What It Needs

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“And I said to my body softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied, ‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’” ~Nayyirah Waheed

For more than half my life, I took care of my body “by the numbers.” Every day, I walked a certain number of steps, no matter how sore, sick, or tired I was. I worked a certain number of hours, often going without sleep in order to finish my work and check off all the numbered items on my to-do list, no matter how my body begged for rest.

For …

5 Things to Remember When You Feel Ashamed of Your Flaws

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If you asked me when I was younger what I wanted to be when I grew up, I may have answered perfect, or famous, which is incredibly ironic. I simultaneously craved a spotlight while fearing what it might reveal—my inadequacies, my weaknesses, my flaws.

I thought being perfect meant being beyond reproach—undeniably lovable and worthy of respect, something I didn’t always receive growing up.

And I assumed that if I were perfect in all ways, I could finally relax and enjoy my life because I could trust that no one would judge or hurt me. I could navigate the world …

How I’m Mothering the Wounded Kid Inside Who Just Wanted Love

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“Bless the daughters who sat carrying the trauma of mothers. Who sat asking for more love and not getting any, carried themselves to light. Bless the daughters who raised themselves.” ~Questions for Ada by Ijeoma Umebinyuo

“I failed you…”

My mother said this to me after I confronted her about my childhood.

That day, I had a clear image of the young girl I was, the girl I had tried to ignore in the hopes of moving forward. But pain shouts when it demands attention, and the suffering was palpable.

A memory flashed within my mind. I had tried telling …