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Knowing When to Walk Away from Unrequited Love

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

To say that love hasn’t obeyed my expectations would be the understatement of the century.

I have not been lucky in love. I’ve been blessed with some amazing moments over the years, but somehow have managed to choose partners who did not want what I wanted, did not feel what I felt, and did not want to walk beside me into a future together.

I have really had to sit with this and try and figure out what part of this was my doing, and how to change …

Tiny Wisdom: The Sacrifices That Lead to Happiness

By in Attitude, Pain, Perspective, Quotes

“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” -Eckhart Tolle

This weekend, a reader presented an interesting question about letting go of old beliefs and attitudes to make room for happiness and open up to a relationship.

He suggested that this would require a lot of sacrifice on his part, and would leave him humbled and lost—as if he’s somehow “giving in” and losing touch with who he really is.

He asked how he can reconcile the instinct to change with his resistance to becoming something he is not.

I …

Listen to the Moment: Knowing What to Do Now

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.”  ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Today, out of the blue, I got two connection-request messages on LinkedIn from two children’s authors. I don’t know either one, personally. I’m not involved with children’s literature. Why was I receiving these requests? I could have thought, “That’s strange” and just let it go. Instead, I explored how this unusual coincidence might relate to what was going on in my life at that moment.

For a few days, I’ve been having the urge to write something new and have done nothing about. …

Tiny Wisdom: What Wise Ambition Means

By in Quotes, Success

Buddha

“Of course there is no formula for success except, perhaps, an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.” –Arthur Rubinstein

Can ambition and wisdom coexist? Can you simultaneously want something specific and drive yourself to create it while accepting that what will be, will be?

The other day, a reader emailed asking this question—if he can motivate his team at work to “do whatever it takes” to reach their goals, and also teach them to embrace the idea of surrendering.

At first glance, these two ideas seem conflicting. Implicit in the suggestion to “do whatever it takes” is the …

Stop Pushing: The Art of Relaxed Achievement

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Some people think it’s holding that makes one strong—sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

A few weeks ago, I took a sip of my morning tea hoping that the day would be better than the prior ones. I had somehow tripped over the cracks of life and couldn’t seem to pull myself back. I had woken up feeling eager to start a new day, but like every other day of my life, within the first few hours, things had gotten off track.

I was stuck in a downward vortex of fear, anxiety and self-ridicule. I read my Yogi tea bag message, …

Tiny Wisdom: The Best Disappointments

By in Attitude, Determination, Hope, Perspective, Possibilities, Quotes

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” -Dalai Lama

Opportunity often hides in the most unlikely places, but it isn’t easy to see it when you’re disappointed life didn’t meet your expectations.

Michael Jordan’s high school coach cut him from the basketball team, which may have pushed him to work harder and become an NBA superstar. Soichoro Honda wanted to be an engineer at Toyota until he was rejected, inspiring him to start his own company.

You never know when a disappointment might pave the path for something great. What wonderful stroke of …

The Real Measure of Your Wealth

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.” ~Unknown

A wonderful story from the yogic tradition highlighting the true meaning of wealth goes something like this:

There was once a beggar who spent his days sitting under an old banyan tree on the side of a dusty road that led to a bustling town. The man had been begging in that spot for years, rattling an old tin can hoping that passers-by would feel compassion and offer alms.

Yet, at the end of each day he would only have collected …

Tiny Wisdom: Addicted to Change

By in Change, Quotes

“You change your life by changing your heart.” -John Porter

I’m addicted to new and different.

I’ve been like this all my life. In my mid-20s, I toured the United States with marketing companies, in large part because everything was always new.

New cities. New work venues. New yoga studios. New restaurants. New hotels. New beds. New people. And I thought, a new me in each new environment.

It felt much easier to be present in my daily life when my surroundings and circumstances were constantly changing.

If ever there was something that weighed on me, I could metaphorically leave …

How to Meditate at Any Time without Meditating

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Flour. Salt. Water. Yeast. As I push the warm, soft dough against my palm, I feel the cold stone countertop underneath. I feel my hips leaning up against the cabinets. I hear my breath inside my head.

As I knead the dough, it changes. The dough becomes more elastic and flexible, ready to rise and be baked into a crusty loaf.

As I make bread, I change. My thoughts go quiet. I come into the now.

I have struggled with an inconsistent …

Tiny Wisdom: How We Want to Be Loved

By in Love, Quotes

“Love does not care to define and is never in a hurry to do so.” -Charles Du Bos

Love is a tricky thing because it’s something we both give and receive—and yet it’s so much easier to dwell on the love we’re not getting than to recognize the love we’re not giving.

I used to have a simultaneously broad and narrow definition for love. Broad, because it encompassed a vast number of idealistic guidelines, and narrow because these limiting rules quickly labeled most relationships loveless.

If someone didn’t seem to offer me their unconditional understanding, or if they appeared to …

Choose Love, Choose Life

By in Blog, love & relationships

“I believe that every single event in life that happens is an opportunity to choose love over fear.” ~Oprah Winfrey 

Facing fear came in the form of the death of my father in 1997. He was diagnosed HIV positive and at the time, the world saw this as a death sentence, and so it was.

His goal became to find a level of peace, a level of contentment about what was happening to his body, his mind, and in his soul in preparation for leaving this life. He enlisted my help to choose when and how to die.

I …

Giveaway: Pema Chodron Uncertainty and Change Virtual Retreat

By in Blog, Giveaway

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for daily or weekly emails to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

Last week, Shambhala Publications contacted me to let me know about their upcoming retreat with Pema Chödrön, Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change.

An ordained Buddhist nun, Pema is best known for her many books and courses on meditation and Tibetan Buddhism, including When Things Fall Apart and The Fearless Heart: The Practice of Living with Courage and Compassion.

Her upcoming three-day retreat will take place at the …

Tiny Wisdom: Letting Other People Dictate Your Choices

By in Quotes

“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” -Unknown

The other day, I watched a fascinating documentary about behavioral economics—a field that considers how mental, emotional, and social factors influence money-related decisions. Traditional economic theory emphasizes rational thought as the basis for financial decision making.

In the beginning, researchers hosted an auction for a $20 bill, starting the bidding at $1. The twist was that after the highest bidder won the $20, the second highest bidder would need to pay his or her losing bid.

If the participants were thinking logically, they may not have …

How to Stop Being a Victim and Start Creating Your Life

By in Blog, change & challenges

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die.  And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“They” say things happen at the “right” time. For me hearing a presentation, live, by Jack Canfield, came at the perfect time.

I was in San Diego, the traveling babysitter for my precious 5-month old granddaughter, while my daughter attended a nutrition conference. It was an all around win-win situation—a new place to sightsee and of course spend quality (alone) time with baby Rachel and daughter Penina.

When I …

Tiny Wisdom: Being Self-Aware and Minimizing Drama

By in Change, Greatness, Possibilities, Quotes, Strength

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” -Gandhi

This past weekend, I took a break from writing at Starbucks to visit the nearby Fall Festival, which featured a petting zoo, face painting, and food samples.

This is one of my favorite events because it encompasses many things I love, including farm animals, giddy children, and food on toothpicks (yes, that’s in my list of favorite things).

Much to my excitement, I saw there was also a large makeover event set up in the vicinity. Since I had time, …

12 Gifts You Can Enjoy Now: Improve Your Outlook on Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~ Mary Engelbreit

About 10 years ago, I started on a journey any college dropout would embark on to quell the little voices in my head that said, “If you want to be happy, earn good money, and validate your choice of quitting college, you better get moving.”

This epiphany fueled my mission. What was my mission of choice?

Get rich quick schemes. The guy on the TV said it would work so it must be legitimate, right? Needless to say, …

Tiny Wisdom: See, Do, Explore, Learn

By in Knowledge, Possibilities, Quotes

“When you’re curious, you find lots of interesting things to do.” -Walt Disney

One of my high school teachers once said that a truly intelligent person is never bored because there are always things to see, do, explore, and learn.

I’ve noticed that my creative process depends highly on my willingness to be curious. On a day when I feel as though I have nothing to share, it’s generally because I shut down in some way. I didn’t get out of my comfort zone, or out of my head, or maybe even out of my house.

When there’s no image …

Realizing Your Self-Worth and Believing in Your Path

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself.” ~ Lululemon

“My existence on this earth is pointless.”

That thought crossed my mind every night before I fell asleep.

It had been several months since I graduated from high school and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. My future plans were falling to pieces, and everyone around me kept telling me that I needed to start accomplishing things that I had not yet accomplished.

I was not where I thought I should be in life. Everyone had expectations …

Tiny Wisdom: If You Knew This Would Be Your Last Day

By in Happiness, Mindfulness, Quotes

“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” ~Leo Tolstoy

If you knew this would be your last day, would you waste time worrying about everything you might not finish on your to-do list?

Would you spend today dwelling on that minor disappointment?

Would you hold a grudge about that fight or misunderstanding?

Would you hesitate to tell the people you love just how much you care?

Would you be hard on yourself for your mistakes, imperfections, or struggles?

If you knew this would be …

Tiny Wisdom: Seeing the Good in the Bad

By in Attitude, Happiness, Peace, Perspective, Quotes

“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” -Proverb

I once read that people who journal to identify lessons from painful situations generally move on more quickly and easily than people who write merely to vent their emotions.

In discovering opportunities for growth, we empower ourselves to see whatever we’ve been through as something that can be ultimately beneficial, even if it’s tremendously uncomfortable in the short-term.

It’s not always easy to do that, particularly because there are so many things that happen that we may never understand—and plenty of …