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Tiny Wisdom: Do You Recognize and Receive Love?

By in Love, Quotes

“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

After I wrote yesterday’s post about giving and receiving love, I started to think about the many times in the past when I felt love-deprived.

It’s easy to feel that way when we’ve been hurt or we think we’re alone—as if there aren’t any people who are really looking out for us.

In retrospect, I realize that when I felt this way, it wasn’t that no one loved me. It was that I was too …

Tiny Wisdom: Love Heals

By in Love, Quotes

“Eventually you will come to realize that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” -Gary Zukav

The end of last week was a little tough for me.

I was waiting to be scheduled for surgery, knowing it could fall anywhere within the next three months. I was realizing I will soon have thousands of dollars in medical and dental bills, between that, a recent mammogram to test another suspicious lump, and my eight cavity fillings.

I was worrying about disappointing my engaged sister who is expecting me to fly home soon for dress shopping, while also feeling …

How to Come Home to Yourself

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.” ~Zen Proverb

There was once a man who loved to complain and find fault with everyone and everything. Nothing pleased him, so he moved from one town to another, declaring as he left each place:

“I am going to another town, where the people are friendlier.”

A wise man perceived what the problem was, and as the angry man began striding along the dusty road to yet another destination, the wise man compassionately called out:

“Oh brother, moving from place to place does not serve you well. Wherever you …

The Fortune in Fear

By in Blog, change & challenges

“He is able who thinks he is able.” ~Buddha

I remember hearing this idea somewhere that courage was not the absence of fear, but rather, the ability to do something in the presence of it.

I am scared of being on a boat. I always was. When I was 18, I dated a guy who had a boat, and I decided to brave my fear and get on it for a three day voyage across the Mediterranean. I know, I could have started by peddling in a canoe in a pond, but no—three days, no sight of land.

There was …

Dealing with Uncertainty: 5 Tips to Create Trust and Patience

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

Calm Woman Meditating on Sunset Beach, Relax in Open Arms Pose

“If you’re going to doubt something, doubt your own limits.” ~Don Ward

So far I’ve gone from Sydney to Melbourne, Melbourne to Moruya, Moruya to Sydney, and Sydney to Brisbane, and my Australian adventure continues.

I’m now about to depart from Brisbane and settle in on the Gold Coast in Queensland for the next few months while I get my yoga teacher certification and continue to explore this beautiful country.

It’s been five months, ten days, and four hours since I landed at the Sydney International airport from Los Angeles. When I first left, I had no real expectations other …

Tiny Wisdom: Using the Hours We Have

By in Quotes

“The whole life of a man is but a point in time; let us enjoy it.” -Plutarch

There are certain motivational quotes that I find to be a double-edged sword, in that they can both motivate us and lead to guilt and pressure, depending on how we interpret them.

One such quote reads, “Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”

To me, this quote implies using our time well means doing something …

Getting Out of a Rut and Working on a Passion

By in meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” – Charles R. Swindoll

For twenty-something me, a college drop-out utterly overwhelmed with choice and bewildered by unemployment, it can easily feel like a void of nothingness, so black and dense there is little point in considering a future beyond it.

I see friends studying Economics, English, and Engineering. They’ve joined their circus, and I haven’t even started yet. I’m behind, I’ll never catch-up; I’ll be the kid that got held up.

College has structure, solidity, a process, respect, certification, and a certain standing. …

Tiny Wisdom: Challenging the Need for Approval

By in Confidence, Quotes

“Lean too much on other people’s approval and it becomes a bed of thorns.” -Tehyi Hsieh

“Oh no, I said something wrong.” If I had a top-10 list of defeatist thoughts that I’ve entertained most frequently over the course of my life, this would certainly make the cut.

I’ve thought this when I’ve met new people and wanted to make a good first impression.

I’ve thought this with men I’ve dated, when I felt insecure and neurotic about whether or not I seemed confident and charming enough.

I’ve thought this during job interviews; when networking with people in my field; …

Tiny Wisdom: Every Request Contains an Offer

By in Compassion, Kindness, Quotes

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was a time when I met every request with two instinctively defensive thoughts: “What are you trying to take from me?” And “What’s in it for me?”

Of course I didn’t say these things out loud. I either denied the request without really considering it, or passively aggressively tried to elicit some type of reciprocal offer.

In retrospect, I don’t think I did these things because I was selfish and heartless (though I know …

Control Less, Trust More: How I Learned to Relax and Let Go

By in Blog, letting go

“The closest to being in control we’ll ever be is in that moment when we realize we’re not.” ~Brian Kessler

My nine-year-old son said something so profoundly right that it kept me awake. He said that in order for him to be happier I would need to let go of controlling him all the time.

Now granted he is young, and believe me, if I didn’t tell him to get dressed he’d run outside in PJs, but I was struck by his wisdom because this is also my obstacle to becoming happier.

In the past, the more I felt out …

Tiny Wisdom: It’s Good Enough

By in Confidence, Quotes

“Good enough is the new perfect.” -Becky Beaupre Gillespie

Sometimes we hone in on everything we think we’re lacking or doing wrong, and wonder what we need to fix or change to measure up. Then we judge ourselves at each step of the way, questioning whether or not we’re doing everything we should.

This has been true for me, and sometimes it still is.

Whenever I feel stressed out, it’s usually because I’m worrying about something I did or have to do, convincing myself I could have done better or I won’t do enough.

It’s a mental soundtrack I know …

Refill Your Glass: A Simple Way to Make the Most of Yourself

By in Blog, happiness & fun, healthy habits, mindfulness & peace

“Make the most of yourself, because that’s all there is of you.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Twelve years ago, my husband and I were preparing to adopt our son. As part of the process we were required to take parenting classes.

One of the classes was about taking care of ourselves so that we could take care of others. Given the difficult journey that parenting can be, the instructor encouraged us to “refill our glass.”

Honestly, I couldn’t relate to what he meant. I was young and excited about having a family. Silently I dismissed his suggestion that parenting or anything …

Tiny Wisdom: Fear Is a Challenge to Be Brave

By in Fear, Quotes

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” -Nelson Mandela

Yesterday, after months of anticipation that included procuring pre-existing condition health insurance and finding the right doctor, I finally met with a physician who will soon schedule me for surgery.

Though I’ve had procedures before, this will be my first major operation.

Starting when I was 18, I got my belly button pierced on three separate occasions only to take it out shortly after each time. I loved the idea of it, but I felt a little nauseous when I thought about having …

Feeling Love Outside of a Relationship

By in Blog, love & relationships

“There is no Love greater than Love with no object. For then you, yourself, have become love, itself.” ~Rumi

I have spent most of my life as a professional, half of that in Asia: managing a division of a company, doing long-term meditation retreats, and establishing cottage industries for impoverished refugees.

A long-term relationship was impossible since Asian men marry Asian women; European men had European wives and Asian lovers.

Along the way I thought I could give more value to the world by remaining single than being married with children.

I met a woman working at the UN who …

Tiny Wisdom: Cling Less, Enjoy More

By in Happiness, Mindfulness, Pain, Quotes, Sorrow

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama

My boyfriend and I spent a couple of days in Las Vegas for Valentine’s Day. These days I get excited about the buffets and shows, but formerly, I found the city a little depressing.

First, I felt sad for the people who seemed a little lost, either for having lost vast quantities of money, or for having lost a part of themselves (something I know all too well).

Secondly, I felt the inevitable crash that follows overstimulation …

Forgive Yourself and Change Your Choices

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

For almost four years I held onto a feeling that I had somehow done something wrong—that I hadn’t tried hard enough, that I had somehow failed my daughter.

In May 2008 my daughter’s father had arrived home after staying out all night. He told me he no longer loved me, found me attractive, or even fancied me, and that at eight years younger than him I was “too old.”

I was completely stunned.

While our relationship had many of the usual flaws, we had never fought, and I’d believed him one month prior, after we bought a new home together, …

Join the Tiny Buddha Twitter Party on Feb 21st: Win Prizes and Tweet for Charity!

By in Blog, happiness & fun

Do you remember in December when I threw a Twitter party to celebrate the launch of my book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions?

No? You’re not the only one!

I didn’t spread the word very well, so I’ve decided to do it again, with the help of Karl from Party Biz Connect and my friend Mastin from The Daily Love.

This time the party will support one of my favorite charities; and to make it even more exciting, I’m going to offer the Peace and Purpose Bonus Pack (valued at more than $150) to anyone who purchases …

Tiny Wisdom: The Art of Appreciating What You Get

By in Gratitude, Quotes

“Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.” -Estonian Proverb

Recently I’ve felt frustrated because someone I asked to help me has done less than I hoped he would. At first I felt this was unfair, because I’ve been supportive of him. Then I realized I was overlooking what he did do for me while dwelling on what he didn’t.

This made me think of some research I referenced in my book (which I originally found in a book called Sway.)

In a German research study, strangers were “partnered up,” though anonymously and kept in separate …

A Simple Prescription for Natural Healing

By in Blog, change & challenges, healthy habits

“Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life but the ability to cope with it.” -Unknown

 

When my daughter, Nava, was critically ill, on a ventilator in a drug-induced coma for three months, one of the ICU doctors called me in after a couple of weeks to tell me that if she survives, it will be a long road.

He started writing out a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication to “help” me through this horrific ordeal.  I certainly don’t fault him here as this was an extreme acute situation and he didn’t know if I could …

Tiny Wisdom: What Love Isn’t

By in Love, Quotes

“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun, like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” –Fred Rogers

Over the years, we form a lot of ideas about what love is, oftentimes based on unrealistic hopes and standards. We learn what we think it’s supposed to look like, and we may find ourselves frustrated when reality falls short.

It often does. Love can be messy, confusing, and imperfect, just like us, and life itself.

What Hallmark cards don’t always tell us …