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Whatever You’re Going Through, Hold On

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The world is full of suffering. It is also filled with overcoming it.” -Helen Keller

Even though I am just 16, I’ve lived my short life with so much pressure, which I’ve finally realized comes from me.

During my life, I have lived through more challenges than most teenagers, and at times I didn’t think I could handle it.

My life has never been easy. My parents broke up when I was two years old because my father was unfaithful to my mother. It was hard. The rancor between two people can last decades. And now, 14 years later, they …

Interview and Giveaway: Six Simple Rules for a Better Life

By in Blog, Giveaway, happiness & fun

Note: This winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

It’s often occurred to me that the most important components of my peace and happiness are actually quite simple. When I start feeling overwhelmed or unbalanced, it’s generally because I’ve complicated things and lost touch with what truly matters.

This is precisely why I loved reading David J. Singer’s book Six Simple Rules for a Better Life: it offers practical wisdom by focusing on the simplest of ideas—which we …

Tiny Wisdom: Creating Perfect Plans

By in Attitude, Confidence, Possibilities, Quotes

“Expect the best, plan for the worst, and prepare to be surprised.” -Denis Waitley

The other day I was watching reruns of a show I’ve recently found and now love. In one scene, the main character talked about the “perfect moment” that never came to be—an isolated point in time when things would have worked exactly as he imagined they would, and as a result, there would only be positive consequences to his choices.

This got me thinking about my own instinct to create perfect moments according to what I’ve visualized—and also the times when I’ve been part of other …

The Fear of Change or the Thrill of Something New?

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~Andre Gide

I’ve lived in Virginia all my life. Pretty much all that I remember at least.

I was a young boy when my parents moved here from Long Island, New York—away from much of our family—because life in the place they had grown up just didn’t provide the opportunities necessary to support a family of six.

Since then, nearly my entire extended family has followed—most of my aunts and uncles, and their children, and their children. And though they may live in Virginia, …

Tiny Wisdom: What Unmet Expectations Mean

By in Anger, Love, Quotes, Sorrow

“Anger always comes from frustrated expectations.” -Elliott Larson

Before I left for my two-week holiday family visit, I asked my boyfriend to wash our sheets before I returned. I hoped to come home to a clean, organized apartment, with everything as I left it. That is not, however, how things panned out. Instead, I came home to a somewhat disorganized space and a pile of dirty towels—along with an empty refrigerator.

My boyfriend told me he’d been busy, and he didn’t have time to do all the laundry or go food shopping. I translated “I didn’t have time” to mean …

Create Solutions, Not Resolutions

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

New Day

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

With the New Year approaching, resolutions are on everyone’s mind.

I’ve never liked the word “resolution.” As defined in the dictionary, resolution means “a firm decision to do or not do something,” and anyone who’s ever done, well, anything knows that life rarely works like that.

I prefer to think of my January decisions as New Year’s solutions. Defined in the dictionary as “a means of solving a problem or dealing with a difficult situation,” solutions are …

Tiny Wisdom: Thanking Your Former Self

By in Gratitude, Quotes

“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.” –Hausa Proverb

Last year, someone asked me in an interview what I’d say to myself, from 10 years ago, if I could meet that person now. I said something along the lines of, “Be good to yourself—you’re doing the best you can.”

She then asked what I’d say to myself 50 years in the future, if I could meet that version of me now. I answered that, to that Lori, I would say, “Thank you.”

I realized after the fact that I thanked my 80 year old self because …

Tiny Buddha Book Giveaway and Top 10 Insights of 2011

By in Blog, change & challenges, Giveaway, happiness & fun, healthy habits, letting go, love & relationships, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

Tiny Buddha Chilling on a Cairn

Important Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen! You can purchase Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions on Amazon.com. Also, be sure to subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails!

The winners:

Happy almost 2012!

It’s been an exciting year for Tiny Buddha. For one thing, the community has grown, but what I find most exciting is that the number of people sharing their stories and engaging with other people has increased exponentially.

During the first year, I published two posts from the community per week. In January of …

Learning from the Relationships That Didn’t Work Out

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Stay away from what might have been and look at what will be.” ~Marsha Petrie Sue

In my mere thirty years on this planet, I have had lots of boyfriends. Lots—hundreds. First one: Pat McGovern, first grade. We were in different classrooms, but we each took a casual stroll to the bathrooms at the same time. He leaned his three-foot-two body against the pink tiled wall and waited for me to walk by.

Then, just at the perfect moment, he told me I looked smashing. (It was picture day, so I was slinging the old A game.) This …

Tiny Wisdom: Avoiding the Urge to Numb Pain

By in Pain, Quotes

“Suffering is not caused by pain but by resisting pain.” -Unknown

The other day I was watching TV when one of those pharmaceutical commercials came on.

You know, the kind that shows a blissful looking woman running through a field of flowers while a voiceover extols the virtues of some drug—and then concludes with a list of possible side effects, including tremors, agitation, drowsiness, nausea, diarrhea, hair loss, blurred vision, night sweats, blood clot, stroke, and in some cases, death.

It might have been for psoriasis or restless syndrome; regardless, I found myself wondering if solving one of these unpleasant …

How Mistakes Can Set You Free

By in Blog, change & challenges

“If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down but the staying down.” ~Mary Pickford

Well, the little blue line was undeniable, and the circumstances unforgettable.

It was Black Friday 2007, after a full day of work during which my nausea rendered me so useless that my coworkers insisted I buy a pregnancy test on my way home.

And there was a line.

But no spouse. No ring. No house. Just a freshly-issued Master’s Degree and …

Tiny Wisdom: When It’s Best to Stay Out of It

By in Quotes, Responsibility

“Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what’s right.”  -Isaac Asimov

Last week a woman emailed me to let me know she holds the copyright for a photo someone submitted for the Life’s Hard Questions contest.

She told me she took the picture of an ex-friend, who we’ll call Tina, using Tina’s camera when they were on vacation, before they had a falling out—and now she wants the photo removed and Tina disqualified from the contest.

She also let me know her computer crashed, so she no longer has the original file. Still, she demanded I take …

The Foundation of Love: Releasing Judgments and Expectations

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Love is saying, ‘I feel differently’ instead of ‘you’re wrong.'” ~Unknown

We seek it, want it, need it, yet it eludes so many of us: genuine, heart-felt, unconditional love. Not infatuation, lust, or what you think makes you happy, but true intimacy at the level of your soul.

How do we create deep authentic connections with those who matter most? Love seems to come in precious moments that we can’t seem to grasp before time and our busy lives takes their toll. Must we try so hard to make love work? Doesn’t love just flow?

We hear about unconditional love, …

Tiny Wisdom: Peacefully Imperfect

By in Greatness, Quotes

“Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” -Voltaire

Last week I got sick. Really sick. Head-spinning, stomach-retching, body-trembling sick, and just before the holidays, while visiting my family.

I completed a radio interview for my book through a brain fog so thick my thoughts felt trapped in quick sand. Needless to say, I got behind with freelance work, and come Christmas Eve, I hadn’t yet prepared anything for this week on the site.

Since I knew the next several days would be busy, with holiday festivities, wedding dress shopping with my engaged sister, and last-minute get-togethers with …

The Courage to Accept Your Own Beauty

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

As I was looking in the mirror, I was feeling the soft curves of my body, all the way down to the flesh on my belly to where it met my hips. I was frowning at my “belly pooch” as I pinched my skin between my fingers. I had a name for my belly pooch and the other not so desirable places on my body.

I called those places “my chubs.”

My partner and I like to …

A Little Care Can Go a Long Way and Make Someone’s Day

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ~Plato

Ever since elementary school, I have had a built-in network of friends, family, and colleagues who make up my rock solid foundation of support.

But recently, I’ve been struggling with being alone and desperate for human interaction—more specifically conversation and affirmation; and conversation that includes affirmation of my creative choices would be the holy grail of friendship.

Two months ago I moved to a new city where I knew exactly two people; one was my cousin who I hadn’t seen in over fifteen years and the other …

Tiny Wisdom: The Urge to Make Other People Wrong

By in Perspective, Quotes

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Recently, a blogger I admire wrote a long note on a social media site identifying blogging practices he finds annoying—and referring to bloggers who utilize them as “fundamentally wrong.” Some of them are things I also choose not to do, but not all of them.

As I read through his list of “blogging mistakes,” recognizing some of them here, I found myself getting defensive. I thought it was wrong of him to call other …

6 Ways to Find Composure When You Feel Panicked

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

I had a terrible morning. I needed to make a short YouTube video to promote my therapy practice, and I thought it would take twenty minutes at the most.

The technology was more complicated than I thought. I struggled on, wanting to do it by myself. Half an hour later, I surrendered and asked my husband Kaspa for help.

Two hours later, we were still trying to make it work.

I started thinking about all the other things I was meant to be doing that morning. …

Tiny Wisdom: Why We Harshly Label People

By in Anger, Quotes

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung

The other day someone I love, who we’ll call Tania, got in a massive fight with her boyfriend. She called me to explain the situation, and ultimately got frustrated because I wouldn’t agree that he was not only wrong, but also a jerk.

The next day, she and I had a disagreement that ended with her yelling at me. When I discussed this with someone else who loves us both but frequently clashes with Tania (not my finest decision), she quickly turned on …

Letting Go of the Fear of Uncertainty and Embracing Adventure

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Each time you stay present with fear and uncertainty, you’re letting go of a habitual way of finding security and comfort.” ~ Pema Chodron

Being the thought-out planner with a neatly plotted road map—and a compass tightly gripped in one hand, pointing due north—I cringe a bit (okay, a lot actually) at the thought of changing direction, being adventurous, and going off the beaten path.

I’ve purposefully designed my external life for security—the cushy job, maximizing the 401K, additional streams of income to insulate the extra-super-comfy-security, a large home for a future family, long-time childhood friends, and a solid marriage.…

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