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Becoming Ourselves: How Powerful Decisions Shape Who We Are

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” ~H. Jackson Browne

I decided to have a homebirth late in my first pregnancy, well into the third trimester. All through the first six months I flip-flopped back and forth, first buying into the message that hospitals were safe for births and homes were not, and then feeling profoundly certain that the best environment in which to have my baby was at home.

The truth is, before I was pregnant I hadn’t thought much about birth. I started my birthing journey wanting to be in charge …

Tiny Wisdom: It’s OK to Say No

By in Confidence, Courage, Quotes, Strength

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” ~Josh Billings

Sometimes I feel immense pressure to do all kinds of things I don’t want to do. The reality is, I often put this pressure on myself. I think about the things I should do. Or the things I think I should want to do. Or the things other people might expect me to do.

And all this thinking can drain me—before I’ve gotten a chance to do anything. This is basically choosing to create anxiety where there …

Overcoming Shame at Work When You’ve Made Big Mistakes

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~ African proverb

Hitchen’s Kitchen. It sounds like a diner straight out of a romance novel. But there I was standing in yes, the kitchen, getting my first dressing down at my first paying job.

At sixteen I had screwed up waiting tables. I got the special of the day, swiss steak, mixed up with sirloin. And so I kept putting in tickets ordering sirloins and the cook kept on grilling them.

And then it struck. The customers were happily eating sirloin while paying the “special of the …

Tiny Wisdom: Letting Go of the Stress of Rushing

By in Mindfulness, Motivation, Quotes

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”  ~Will Rogers

It was like a scene in a movie. I was waiting to cross the street while pedestrians were crossing the perpendicular one. A number of cars were piled up, with drivers waiting to turn when the people made it to the sidewalk.

Several impatient drivers honked, as if they didn’t understand why the first one wasn’t going. So that first guy stuck his head out his window and yelled at the pedestrians, “Come on—hurry up!”

Then …

Love Yourself, Accept Yourself, Forgive Yourself

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia 

You mean I am a source of many wonderful things?

Yes. Actually you are. Own up to it.

Leo has it right.

Love yourself.

Despite all the things that you think may be terribly wrong with you, love yourself. Love yourself.

Tattoo it on your brain.

I can think of so many reasons why you should love yourself, but here’s just one: It is incredibly dull and uninspiring to be around people who …

Tiny Wisdom: Sharing Moments with Strangers

By in Kindness, Quotes

“If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.” -Francis Bacon

The other day, I visited a new doctor, and noticed the nurse who took my vitals seemed somewhat withdrawn. He didn’t make eye contact while taking my pulse, or engage in conversation. While I realize a medical appointment is not a social outing, I got the sense he was going over something in his head, and I found myself wanting to connect a little.

So while he was taking my blood, I asked, “Do you ever get squeamish when doing …

I Hate Hugging: Getting Over the Fear of Intimacy

By in Blog, love & relationships

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings

I was a shy kid. My mom said that when I was in pre-school, the teacher asked all of the kids to hold hands and I said, “No thanks, I’ll just hold my own.”

That may have been the beginning of my aversion towards human contact. As a kid, I remember grandparents, aunts, and uncles giving me big horrible hugs. If I didn’t blatantly push them away or wiggle free, I stood there stiff as board, until the torture was over.

They thought this was adorable …

Tiny Wisdom: Being Honest About What You Want

By in Challenges, Courage, Happiness, Quotes

“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” -Walter Anderson

One of the biggest challenges in my life has been understanding when I’m doing something because I want to, and when I’m doing it because I’m scared to do what I really want to do.

I am someone who can easily spend huge chunks of time alone. I enjoy eating out by myself, sitting solitary in parks to people-watch, and roaming around my neighborhood with only my internal monologue for company.

As a writer …

When You Keep Learning Instead of Taking Action

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Begin, be bold, and venture to be wise.” ~Horace 

It was day five without food, meditating in a cave in the Sahara desert.

In 2009, I skipped out on two weeks of my senior year of college to go to the desert.

Ever since I was a young I had been into exploring the boundaries of the self. I had always wanted a period of time when I could totally be alone for days—not a word spoken to me, where I could go deeper into my mind than ever before until I simply evaporated.

So there I was.

Just the …

Interview and Giveaway: The Game of You by Lynn Zavaro

By in Blog, Giveaway, happiness & fun, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly updates and to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

Lynn Zavaro has very quickly become one of my greatest role models.

When she first submitted a post to Tiny Buddha (50 Creative Questions to Help You Create the Life You Want) I felt like she was living inside my head.

Lynn realizes that the most important factor for our happiness is coming to know ourselves—and she also understands the internal blocks that hold …

Tiny Wisdom: There’s More Right Than Wrong

By in Gratitude, Happiness, Quotes

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” -Marianne Williamson

Every now and then, I ask Tiny Buddha Facebook friends to share things they’re grateful for. I do this because I know that I sometimes forget how many things I’ve valued and appreciated throughout the course of my day–especially if I feel I’ve dealt with a lot of stresses and worries.

It can happen to any of us: Even one especially difficult encounter or situation can overpower all the good things if we’re not deliberate about recognizing them, and realizing …

10 Ways Overcome Conflicts in Relationships and Grow Together

By in Blog, love & relationships

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

About six months into a serious relationship with my boyfriend, we started experiencing major conflict. Fighting over small things, flipping out over misunderstandings, we just couldn’t seem to get on the same page about anything. This caused me to think about relationship conflict in general, what causes it, and how to deal with it.

It’s clear that relationship conflict occurs because expectations aren’t being met. Each person comes into a relationship with certain expectations. These are based on past experiences, childhood, or how you think things should…

Tiny Wisdom: Focusing in the Middle of Chaos

By in Mindfulness, Quotes

“Concentrate all your thoughts on the task at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” –Alexander Graham Bell

I’m sitting smack dab in the middle of chaos. There are half-packed boxes, plastic bags full of clothes, and an assortment of decorative items I’ve yet to pack scattered around my living room.

There’s a stack of random items on my kitchen table—toiletries, paint brushes, marbles, things that don’t belong. For some reason I can’t recall, I rested a number of soup cans on the floor in front of two beach chairs that now lean against my …

Getting Back Up After You Fall

By in Blog, change & challenges

“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.” ~Chinese Proverb

Last year I had emergency open heart surgery. Shortly after the procedure, two nurses entered my room and gave me terrible news: I had to walk.

That may not sound like a big deal, but open heart surgery is brutal. Simple things like being able to sit up or change position once my backside became sore were agony. Getting to the walker, a mere several steps away from my bed, was an extreme effort.

My goal was to walk around the nurse’s station, …

Introducing the Tiny Buddha Book Store

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

I’m pleased to announce that Tiny Buddha now has a book store! We’ve partnered with Sounds True to offer a wide range of inspiring books, instructional DVDs, and audio learning courses that support personal growth and spiritual awakening.

A percentage of all sales made through this store will support Tiny Buddha’s continued growth.

Sounds True was founded in 1985 by Tami Simon with a clear mission: to disseminate spiritual wisdom. This independent multimedia publishing company now features a library of more than 600 titles by such well known spiritual teachers as Eckhart Tolle, Pema Chödrön, and Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Categories …

Tiny Wisdom: All Is Never Lost

By in Challenges, Change, Determination, Quotes

“In this world of change, nothing which comes stays, and nothing which goes is lost.” -Anne Sophie Swetchine

I used to make a wish whenever it turned 11:11. It was something I started doing with friends in high school, and I kept doing it in college, a time when I depended on magical thinking to get me through difficult days.

I remember when my first long-term relationship ended, after three tumultuous years. I felt like I lost a part of me—the best part, to be more specific. My saving grace was the hope that we’d eventually get back together, if …

Knowing When to Walk Away from Unrequited Love

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

To say that love hasn’t obeyed my expectations would be the understatement of the century.

I have not been lucky in love. I’ve been blessed with some amazing moments over the years, but somehow have managed to choose partners who did not want what I wanted, did not feel what I felt, and did not want to walk beside me into a future together.

I have really had to sit with this and try and figure out what part of this was my doing, and how to change …

Tiny Wisdom: The Sacrifices That Lead to Happiness

By in Attitude, Pain, Perspective, Quotes

“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” -Eckhart Tolle

This weekend, a reader presented an interesting question about letting go of old beliefs and attitudes to make room for happiness and open up to a relationship.

He suggested that this would require a lot of sacrifice on his part, and would leave him humbled and lost—as if he’s somehow “giving in” and losing touch with who he really is.

He asked how he can reconcile the instinct to change with his resistance to becoming something he is not.

I …

Listen to the Moment: Knowing What to Do Now

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.”  ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Today, out of the blue, I got two connection-request messages on LinkedIn from two children’s authors. I don’t know either one, personally. I’m not involved with children’s literature. Why was I receiving these requests? I could have thought, “That’s strange” and just let it go. Instead, I explored how this unusual coincidence might relate to what was going on in my life at that moment.

For a few days, I’ve been having the urge to write something new and have done nothing about. …

Tiny Wisdom: What Wise Ambition Means

By in Quotes, Success

Buddha

“Of course there is no formula for success except, perhaps, an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.” –Arthur Rubinstein

Can ambition and wisdom coexist? Can you simultaneously want something specific and drive yourself to create it while accepting that what will be, will be?

The other day, a reader emailed asking this question—if he can motivate his team at work to “do whatever it takes” to reach their goals, and also teach them to embrace the idea of surrendering.

At first glance, these two ideas seem conflicting. Implicit in the suggestion to “do whatever it takes” is the …