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Tiny Wisdom: Enjoying the People We Love

By in Quotes

“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.” ~Unknown

In the past, whenever I heard someone say that relationships take effort, I assumed it was a person who wasn’t in a happy one.

When it’s right, it shouldn’t feel like work; it should be effortless—or so I thought, ironically, in a time when I had few relationships.

What I didn’t realize then is that things change over time—we change over time—and that we need to choose each day to see the people we love with new eyes.

I’ve been …

A Beautiful Thing Is Never Perfect

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“A beautiful thing is never perfect.” ~Proverb

There are so many reasons to think that we, as humanity, have far to go to reach a certain stage of happiness. Yet with every step we take toward a “golden future,” we seem to take two steps backward.

Our demand for technological advancement causes great stress upon the Earth: Medical achievements aim to eliminate ailments, but serve as crutches for our poor health choices; and we push ourselves to reach great heights of “success,” which then fuels our self-rejection because we think we aren’t good enough.

In this sense, our progress …

9 Powerful Life Lessons from Studying with a Monk

By in Blog, happiness & fun, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Doing your best means never stop trying.” ~Unknown

When I was 18 years old, I suffered from anxiety and stomach problems. A compassionate physician and practicing Buddhist referred me to a Taoist monk who specialized in meditation and martial arts. I ended up healing myself of anxiety and stomach issues by doing meditation, and went on a great journey of self-discovery.

Here are 9 lessons I learned while studying with a monk:

1. Keep trying until you get it right.

The most important life lesson I learned was trying something three times (maybe even four times) before you stop …

Giveaway and Interview: Saying Yes to Change

By in Blog, change & challenges, Giveaway

Editor’s Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

Have you ever formed a friendship with someone whose beliefs differ from yours only to realize you have quite a bit in common?

This is exactly the type of friendship I’ve formed with Alex Blackwell. We’ve had many of the same experiences, and formed many of the same insights, but we’ve found peace and comfort in different understandings of spirituality.

Alex runs The Bridge Maker, where he …

Tiny Wisdom: The Relationships We Wish Would Improve

By in Quotes

“When you stop trying to change others and work on changing yourself, your world changes for the better.” ~Unknown

There are certain relationships that we don’t want to end; we just want them to improve.

Sometimes it might seem like that will only happen if someone else starts acting differently—with more kindness, respect, thoughtfulness, compassion, understanding, or consideration.

Years ago, a therapist told me we can’t ever change other people; we can only change how we respond to them.

At the time, I found this incredibly frustrating because I didn’t know what I could do differently. I only knew I …

How to Release Shame and Love All of You

By in Blog, love & relationships

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~African Proverb

If you’ve had any experiences where you had to keep your truth quiet, particularly as a child, it’s time to reclaim your truth and value its power. By doing so, you will release energy, old shame, and subconscious blocks that may now be holding you back from living your life to the fullest.

It could be that you had lots of family secrets that your parents made sure you told no one about (which creates shame), or it could be you were bullied and felt unable …

The Freedom of Not Needing To Be Right

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Yesterday I drove my mother and father to the VA hospital in Albuquerque for a doctor’s appointment. I had never been to a VA hospital before. I guess I should have expected the numbers of crutches and canes, armless and legless veterans, young and weathered faces alike.

I was personally witnessing the costs endured when humans war against each other.

“Isn’t it odd,” I said to my mother, “that human beings war with each …

Discovering Peace from Within and Creating Fulfillment in Life

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Gandhi

The feeling of inner-strength and fulfillment can be enough for us to move mountains. For the most part, we all have the desire to do and be great. It’s just a matter of finding the right pieces to put together to make it happen.

Part of that discovery process is being able to overcome the low states of energy that hold us back from finding our inner happiness and confidence. When we feel refreshed, vibrant, and able to make the …

20 Ways to Give Without Expectations

By in Blog, Featured, happiness & fun, letting go, love & relationships

Gift

“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” ~Samuel Johnson

Some people say there’s no such thing as a selfless act—that any time we do something to help another person, we get something in return, even if it’s just a warm fuzzy feeling.

I’ve spent a lot of time playing with this idea in my head. It doesn’t really bother me to know it feels good to help someone else. That, to me, is a completely acceptable type of selfishness. What give me cause for concern are the underlying expectations …

Who Owns Your Time?

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown

When you take cash out of your wallet to give to someone, you surely expect something of equal or greater value in return. Do you treat your time the same way?

At one of my first jobs, I found myself spending a massive amount of time on tasks that didn’t really add value to me or my purpose.

“Ah well, at least I got something done today,” I would often mutter to rationalize wasting time on just busy work. Or even better: …

Knowing Which Advice is Right

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha

The old cliché, “I say tomayto, you say tomahto,” has been popping up in my head recently, mainly because of a lesson I recently learned after years of trial and error.

For the last several years, I have been closely listening to and reading the advice of “experts” on subjects related to life, love, business, and the pursuit of happiness. I have come to an astonishing (for me, anyway) conclusion: …

A Quick Note

By in Blog

Hello friends. I’m writing this quick post from my family’s house in Massachusetts after flying home on the red-eye on Saturday night. My grandmother, who was a hero to many, including me, passed away on Monday morning. Despite being a writer, and being asked to write a eulogy, I find myself somewhat at a loss for words.

For this reason, I may not write anything this week, though I will surely be writing about grandmother soon. I will aim to publish two posts from the community each day, but I may miss a day or two.

If you submitted a …

Are You Running Away from Yourself?

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“No matter where you go, there you are.” ~Confucius

I am accustomed to not moving. To move was to feel pain—the pain of seeing how worthless I believed myself to be. Sometimes I would sit in the same place for hours, sometimes not leaving the house for days.

By isolating myself, I avoided finding evidence in the outside world that proved how I saw myself was the absolute truth.

My worst nightmare was that others would show me (through what they said or didn’t say, or what they did or didn’t do) that they too found me as rotten as …

Growing from Pain and Using it to Discover Who You Are

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~Bernice Johnson Reagon

At the age of 37, my beautiful young mother, who I considered my best friend, crashed her car in light rain just around the corner from our home. We will never know what really happened because she woke up from her brain injury a very different person from the one who drove away that morning.

The experience of suddenly becoming a caregiver at the age of 16, along with my 13 year-old brother and the rest of our family, could …

The Power of Community: 6 Reasons We Need Each Other

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough

Even though it was 18 months ago, I still remember my climb up Kilimanjaro like it was yesterday.

Taking those final steps toward the summit with tears in my eyes because I never believed that I—someone who grew up this sick little kid who held a deep-seated belief that she’d never be “an athlete”—would do something that thousands each year, including world-class athletes, cannot.

Yet there I was.

But I certainly didn’t get there alone. I had help—a lot …

Tiny Wisdom: What Are You Waiting For?

By in Quotes

“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” ~Michelle C. Ustaszeski

Most of us are really good at finding reasons to wait.

We wait to call good friends we miss because we assume we’ll have plenty of time.

We wait to tell people how we really feel because we hope it will someday feel safer.

We wait to forgive the people who’ve hurt us because we believe they should reach out first.

We wait to apologize for the things we’ve done because we feel too stubborn or ashamed to admit fault.

If we’re not …

Are You Shut Down and Disconnected?

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another—and ourselves.” ~Jack Kornfield

I had to work on Easter at my job in a coffee shop. I missed out on my family’s big holiday party, and I struggled with quite a bit of resentment about the whole deal. I could have gotten someone to cover for me, but because I’m one of the more experienced employees and we were short-staffed, I was told that I needed to work.

I wasn’t too terribly happy. I came in to work and immediately launched into …

Winners for Tiny Buddha Book Giveaways

By in Blog, Giveaway, happiness & fun

As you may have noticed, this was the first week I did not publish a blog post featuring two poll questions for my next book.

Previously, I published 10 of these posts, each with a giveaway for an autographed copy of my first book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

I’m pleased to announce I’ve chosen 10 winners:

I emailed the winners last night. If you are on this list and did not receive that email, please contact me …

Relinquish Stereotypes and Just Be Yourself

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”  ~Walter Anderson

Society has a series of unwritten and sometimes unspoken laws they expect both males and females to abide by without question—a perceived set of standards and assumptions which span the generations and often shape, however haphazardly, the development of our youth.

From colors to activities; music to clothing; relationships to careers, an infinite number of stereotypes exist for the opposite sex, and society feels they are judge and jury—bullying, chastising, and poking fun …

I Don’t Have to Be Perfect: It’s the Leap That Counts

By in Blog, happiness & fun, letting go, meaning & passion

“A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” ~Proverb

I’m a “recovering perfectionist.”

I make perfect plans. At times, when I’m really working on my plans, I forget to live my actual life. Because I’m planning. Perfectly.

I had my first strategic plan when I was ten.

“Be a really, really good girl. Then, when you are sixteen, borrow the car and say that you are going to Drug Fair to buy hairspray. Instead, drive the fifteen minutes to your daddy’s house so that he’ll want you back.”

A year later I had to revise my first …