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The Secret to Instant Self-Confidence

By in Blog, happiness & fun, letting go

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

Self-confidence is an interesting concept.

You see, we all have ways of feeling good, bad, low, light, and peaceful. We all have triggers that tell us when to experience these states.

The really interesting part is that you can challenge how you respond to those triggers and change the strategies you use.

There have been countless times in my life where I haven’t felt absolutely confident.

For example, I used to be very shy around people. I just didn’t believe I had anything to say, so …

Tiny Wisdom: On Creating Beautiful Moments

By in Happiness, Kindness, Love, Quotes

“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

The other day, I was looking through friends’ Facebook albums–and by friends, I mean teenage cousins, readers I’ve yet to meet, and acquaintances from high school.

It all started so innocently, clicking on a recently added photo on my wall, and before I knew it, I was knee-deep in the lives of people I rarely see, have never seen, or haven’t seen in years.

There were, of course, hundreds of photos of each person in different exciting destinations–kind like that garden gnome that shows up in pictures from …

51 Things That Will Make You Smile

By in Blog, happiness & fun

Some days, it’s easy to smile. You wake up to the sounds of birds chirping, with the warm glow of the morning sun cradling your face. You take several deep, cleansing breaths standing beneath a perfectly cascading shower, just before drawing a smiley face on the steamed-up glass with your index finger.

Your roommate or significant other makes your coffee, just the way you like it. You hit every traffic light. You sing to your favorite tunes. And you arrive at work refreshed, excited, and anxious to create and collaborate.

But not every day starts this way. Sometimes you wake …

Tiny Wisdom: How Criticism Helps You Excel

By in Confidence, Courage, Greatness, Motivation, Quotes, Success

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” -Aristotle

No matter what you’re trying to do, someone somewhere has a harsh opinion.

Maybe it’s a virtual stranger. Since the advent of the Internet, people can easily vent their judgments behind a cloak of anonymity. Most of the world’s successful people have a Google trail laced with negativity.

Or maybe it’s someone who’s supposed to have faith in you—your father doubts your aptitude for the legal profession, or your friend thinks your singing belongs in the shower.

Either way, it hurts. And you may …

5 Immediate and Easy Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic

By in Blog, change & challenges

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” ~William Shakespeare

I love to paint. I’m not a professional artist. I have no technique, and I am not trained. But I love how the brush feels as it dips into color and moves across a white page.

Painting allows me to be free, to have fun and play. It also does something else: It shows me how I judge myself and how I can get in my own way. It reveals what I believe about myself that stops me from creating whatever I want.

Even as I …

Tiny Wisdom: On Changing How You See Problems

By in Attitude, Challenges, Change, Perspective, Quotes

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” -Mary Engelbreit

In a recent response to my blog post about dealing with difficult people, an anonymous commenter mentioned that she has a negative team member, an irrational supervisor, and an ineffective HR manager. Since she feels that leaving her job isn’t an option, she asked for advice about what she should do.

I could relate to that feeling of being stuck–when you’re in a situation you don’t like, but you feel powerless to change it.

When I’ve been in …

The Relief and Power of Accepting Your Struggles (and Finding Hidden Gifts)

By in Blog, change & challenges

“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” ~Pema Chodron

I love acceptance. Acts of surrender create forward momentum.

If we all pause for a moment and observe what we are fighting, right here and right now—maybe depression, anxiety, weight gain, low self-image, or financial stress—we’ll have an opportunity to accept then.

But that’s just the start.

Recently I accepted something I never thought I would. Reframing the way I thought about it changed my life.

I have moderate to severe OCD. Having OCD is basically like …

Tiny Wisdom: On Where We’re Going and Why

By in Love, Possibilities, Quotes

“A journey is best measured in friends,  rather than miles.” -Tim Cahill

Not too long ago, someone asked me how scalable Tiny Buddha is, and how I plan to expand the site to reach millions of people and generate substantial revenue.

My answer was (and is) that I don’t. I have absolutely no concrete plans to reach certain benchmarks for readers or dollars. I do, however, have plans for the site’s growth–but they’re focused more on creating new features than attracting new people to use them.

It’s not about expanding Tiny Buddha’s reach; it’s about how deeply we can all …

Set Yourself Free: 3 Ideas to Become More Conscious

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I’m sitting on a straw bail at an unplugged rock concert that’s being held in Barrydale, South Africa, my current home and sanctuary. It’s a big deal for this small town, because nothing much ever really happens here.

Everyone from the area has arrived dressed to the hilt and ready to rumba—except me, that is. I’m sitting to the side (in an outfit that will scare away most normal people) staring forlornly off into the distance.

My buddy Sean sits next to me with …

Tiny Wisdom: On Realizing It’s Never All Dark

By in Attitude, Challenges, Courage, Determination, Peace, Quotes, Strength

“Turn your face toward the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.” ~Māori Proverb

People often comment that the Tiny Buddha emails come at just the right time for them, and I think there’s a simple explanation for that. They all address universal challenges–things we all deal with, and often. They’re the things we sometimes forget connect us.

We all deal with pain, heartache, disappointment, frustration, fear, anxiety, and loss. We don’t deal with it at the same times, in the same ways, or for the same reasons, but we all experience the same emotions–over and over again.

Just …

8 Tips to Help Create a Positive Mental Attitude

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

For years I lived an uneventful existence. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t unhappy either. I was just sort of stuck.

I had a good career, earned lots of money, and I had great friends and a loving family. You would think that this doesn’t sound too bad, but I felt unfulfilled and unmotivated. I repeatedly lived each day like the one before.

I looked around me and saw that everybody within my own circle of friends, relatives, and immediate family were no different. They too seemed stuck. They …

Tiny Wisdom: On the Illusion of Tomorrow

By in Meaning, Mindfulness, Patience, Perspective, Quotes

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” -Gandhi

If only tomorrow were here.

You’d have that promotion you feel you’ve earned. Your bank account would have an extra zero or two. You’d be finished with the improvements on your house, and ready for new ones to make it even more comfortable.

Your kids would be in that school you can’t yet afford. Closer to graduation. Closer to adulthood. Closer to leaving your home.

You could plan that vacation you’ve wanted to take. And take it. And come back. And want for another.

If only tomorrow were here.

You’d …

Simple Happiness: Choose, Practice, Repeat

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.” ~Denis Waitley

I just spent the past 17 months of my life trying to find, travel to, or somehow earn happiness.

I had just given birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. I had a loving husband, a home, good friends, and a supportive family. I was supposed to be happy. But I wasn’t. I couldn’t explain why, even to myself.

This led to more anxiety and major guilt. I felt like I had tripped into …

Tiny Wisdom: On Dreaming of a Better You

By in Quotes

“To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.” -Unknown

It’s one of life’s greatest challenges: learning to constantly evolve without undermining the beauty of who you are in this moment. In fact, it seems like a bit of a contradiction. If you’re committed to becoming who you could be, how can you simultaneously value and honor who you are?

I suspect it’s all about perspective.

You honor who you are when you know you have more to learn but appreciate that, right now, you are someone who is capable of doing …

Beat Procrastination: How to Want to Tackle Your To-Do List

By in Blog, healthy habits

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you won’t do anything with it.” ~ M. Scott Peck

Ten years ago, I stopped procrastinating. Lots of procrastination, then zero—overnight. Cold turkey worked for me. Now I hardly ever procrastinate.

Why the sudden change? How did I do it?

Lists and Procrastination

Like many people, I make lists, including to-do lists, reminders, shopping lists, wish lists, and my what-to-do-when-bored list. I completely rely on my lists to keep my life moving along.

My Dad purposefully decided not to make lists. He believed he could maintain …

Tiny Wisdom: On Doing What You Love for Work

By in Quotes

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~Buddha

Whenever I write or publish a post about following your heart professionally, inevitably someone comments that it’s far easier said than done. I completely understand this instinct. After all, most of us don’t start with a massive nest egg that allows us to explore our passions without concern for financial security.

I also understand when people get frustrated by articles that suggest making a living with your passion is a simple step-by-step process.

It’s not always easy to do what you love …

How to Find Happiness at Work in 6 Steps

By in Blog, happiness & fun, work fulfillment

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

A few years back, I worked in a medical practice.

I’d always been fascinated with medicine, and the position allowed me virtually free reign within the practice. I was able to sit in at the operating room during procedures, learn about the medical billing process, chat with patients in the physical therapy unit, and much more.

Basically, the position was a great fit for me, but I still wasn’t happy at work.

Even though I had exposure to many areas, I was rarely given the responsibility …

Tiny Wisdom: On What We Really Want

By in Happiness, Quotes

“Pleasure can be supported by an illusion; but happiness rests upon truth.” -Sébastien-Roch Nicolas De Chamfort

So many times in life we hop from illusion to illusion.

We imagine that we’re finally getting closer to happiness, when the very fact that we’re looking for it in the future makes it unlikely we’ll experience it in the present.

We interpret what we experience based on our pasts and fears, instead of seeing people and things with fresh eyes.

We attach to ideas of right and wrong, as if things are black and white, and in doing so convince ourselves that we …

Lose Control to Find Closeness in Your Relationships

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Always be mindful of the kindness and not the faults of others” ~Buddha

In these hectic and often chaotic times, for most people (controllers included), the need for intimate, close bonds with friends and family is more important than ever for their overall well-being.

Yet, most controllers are unaware of how much their controlling actions prevent intimacy.

Losing Intimacy with My Son

Twenty years ago I was a massive, obsessive controller. I firmly believed that the best way to satisfy my needs and achieve what I wanted in life was by controlling everything and everyone. At home, Father truly knew …

Tiny Wisdom: On Living in Peace

By in Peace, Quotes

“He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the world.” -Marcus Aurelius

Yesterday I read an article that described how several hundred people got together to kick off the summer season by practicing yoga in the middle of Times Square. I felt a bit nostalgic in reading this because I did the very same thing exactly five years ago.

We were all crammed together, mat to mat, raised 10 feet off the ground. It’s a surreal feeling to ease into downward dog within such a chaotic, electric, commercial environment. It’s the ultimate challenge in centering yourself–with thousands …