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Category “change & challenges”

Calm Woman

Managing Anxiety: 5 Steps to Open Your Mind and Calm Your Heart

“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take action. Take action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron

I’ve struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. From the time I was very young, I would worry about things—my life, my parents, my house, the state of the world.… Read More

Rain Cloud Over Head

When Positive Thinking Doesn’t Help

“The best way out is always through.” ~Robert Frost

Earlier this year my partner, our son, and I all moved to Santa Barbara from Oregon. People move all the time, but for us it was a huge step.

My partner had a new exciting dream job and we were eager to experience the sunshine of California.… Read More

Help

You’re Not Bad; You’re Crying Out for Help

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ~Steve Maraboli

My fourth grade teacher was named Mrs. King, and she was a no-nonsense, fairly stern presence who enforced the rules and kept us kids in line. I was a timid kid who wouldn’t have dared to break rules anyway, and I assumed that Mrs.… Read More

Open Heart

Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability and Unlocking Your Power

“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami

Wanting to avoid pain and shield ourselves from it is natural—and, by the way, completely not possible, because as we close up to protect ourselves against pain, we also block out the light that reflects from it.… Read More

Healing

Mind Over Melodrama: 5 Lessons on Self-Awareness and Healing

“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.” ~Julius Charles Hare

In a few months it will be the two and a half year anniversary of my mental breakdown.

I don’t really celebrate the date, partially because I don’t know it—it’s not the sort of thing that you remember to mark on your calendar—and partially because my entire life since then has been a celebration of what I began to learn that night.… Read More

Reach for the stars

Overcoming the Worst Part of Finding Your Passion

“You gain courage, strength and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Finding my passion made me fat.

Not fat in an “I have to wear a Homer Simpson Mumu” kind of way, but in an “I eat cookies and chocolate all the time and I’m not sure what happened to my muscle.… Read More

Sad Girl

How to Deal with Criticism Well: 25 Reasons to Embrace It

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

At the end of the day, when I feel completely exhausted, it often has nothing to do with all the things I’ve done.

It’s not a consequence of juggling multiple responsibilities and projects. It’s not my body’s way of punishing me for becoming a late-life jogger after a period of laziness.… Read More

Grateful

We Can Be Happy Despite Pain from Our Past

“Think of all the beauty that is still left in and around you and be happy.” ~Anne Frank

At first glance, the happiest person I’ve ever met appeared to be a simple man. There didn’t seem to be anything particularly sophisticated or spiritual about him.

Srulik was five-feet tall, with a big round belly and a wide smile permanently plastered on his face.… Read More

Confused Man

How to Hear Your Intuition When You Don’t Know What to Do

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs

Sitting in my office I stared at the email in front of me.

My heart sank.

All energy and joy left me, to be replaced with confusion, anxiety, and a deep sense of frustration.… Read More

Peaceful Guy

How to Turn Worries About the Future Into Action Right Now

“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

After years and years of living with anxiety, I can’t tell you exactly what I have been anxious about.

Is it a pervasive thought about how my life will end? Is it a constant worry about my financial security?… Read More

Blame

Letting Go of Blame Instead of Staying Stuck in Anger

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S Lewis

I’m a law student nearing the end of my degree and I think the most important lesson my studies have unintentionally imparted is that blame gets us nowhere.… Read More

Stressed at Work

That Horrible Job You Hate Might Just Change Your Life

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.” ~Ralph Marston

Before I started my business, I spent three years at an ad agency and a little over a year at an international furnishings retailer. I also waitressed, wrote freelance articles, designed and developed a church website, and worked in an incredibly boring mailroom.… Read More

Teardrop

Emotions Are a Strength, Not a Design Flaw

“Eyes that do not cry, do not see.” ~Swedish Proverb

Just get over it; don’t be so sensitive. You should toughen up and grow a thicker skin…

I’ve heard this advice so much over my life, but I’ve never seen it make anyone happy.

Advised to toughen up with thicker skins so we can protect ourselves, we end up just bottling it up inside and pushing away how we feel, hoping it looks like we’re strong.Read More

Sensitive

How Sensitivity Can Be a Gift (and How to Give it to the World)

“We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.” ~Alan Watts

Are you good at noticing subtle details? Are you able to learn without really being aware that you are learning? Do you notice other people’s moods? Do these moods affect you?

Are you sensitive to pain?… Read More

Stand Tall

Doing What’s Best for Us Even if Other People Don’t Like It

“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer

I got the call late one Sunday afternoon while sitting at work. “Babe, your toilet tub and shower are backed up.” What?

“It’s bad babe, and getting worse.” Okay, I thought, I’ll call my landlord.

“Hello, this is so and so and you’ve got my voicemail.… Read More

Ashamed

Overcoming Shame: Forgive Yourself and Let Go

“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown

I haven’t always been the woman I am today.

I used to be scared. Of everything. And everyone. Painfully shy and insecure, I saw myself as a victim of my circumstances, and was always waiting, on guard, for the next rejection.… Read More

Waiting

When You’re Frustrated by a Delay: 8 Reasons to Appreciate It

“All great achievements require time.” ~Maya Angelou

We all have a picture of what we want in our heads.

We get attached to a timeline for achieving it. We fantasize about the results and how it will bring us happiness.

We begin to work hard to attain it.

But when we don’t get it right away, we get frustrated.Read More

Rise Up

How to Rise Above Difficult Circumstances and Be Happy

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ~Viktor Frankl

I first got wind of this transformative concept when I was a teenager reading Man’s Search For Meaning.… Read More

Man at the Ocean

Dealing With Criticism: 5 Tools to Develop a Thick Skin

“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Miguel Ruiz

Have you ever opened a spring-loaded email? You know, the kind with a nasty barb inside that hits you like a punch in the gut?

My business partner and I had recently launched our new podcast, and he had forwarded me an email he’d received from a viewer.… Read More

Hiding in the Rain

How to Let Go of the Fear of Being Hurt Again

“Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear.” ~Unknown 

My pet fish died today. Red-striped fins as beautiful as always, he was swimming around in his tank only four weeks ago. First, he became less active. Next, he refused to eat. Then, he was gone.… Read More

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