Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Anne Sophie Reinhardt

“No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.” -James Allen

Recently, my mom told me that my beloved piano teacher had passed on. She had reached a high age and died peacefully in her sleep. This news, delivered to me via Facebook, hit me harder than I could have prepared myself for.

Sitting there in front of my computer, I remembered the circumstances of my meeting her. Originally, it was because my sister wanted to learn how to play piano.

It was by pure chance that I decided to go with her for her first lesson and I instantly fell in love with the teacher. She was the same age as my grandma, which was great because back then younger people terrified me. We hit it off right away.

I must have been around thirteen years old back then and I was in a really dark place of my young life. My eating disorder, which I had developed at the age of about ten, was starting to get more serious.

I lost weight rapidly and my exercising got out of hand. I was a shadow of myself and I was terribly insecure and weary of life.

Spending one hour a week with this unusually large, brilliant lady was like my sanctuary. When I closed the door of her tiny piano room, I knew I was in a safe place.

She listened to me when no one else did. If I showed you my piano skills today, you’d agree with me that we probably talked more than we practiced playing. Being with her was like the counseling I desperately needed.

I treasured each and every moment with her. I was more open to her about my anorexia, about my problems with the family, and my terrifying fear of my brother than I had ever been with somebody else. I trusted her. No matter how caught up I was in my illness, I never skipped a lesson.

Then, I went to the US and our ways separated. Over the years, I would hear frequent updates of how she was doing and I would send her the occasional letter.

When driving by her house, I would make a mental note to schedule some time for a visit sometime in the future. I never did.

My piano teacher had often told me that she had seen the vulnerability in my eyes and my posture when we first met. She saw that I was a broken soul and she knew that she was there to guide me and to help me through some of the hardest years of my life. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” –William Arthur Ward

The holiday season generally brings us closer to people. Sometimes that closeness reminds us how much we love each other. Sometimes it reminds us that we drive each other crazy, as family often does.

At the heart of it, Thanksgiving in particular calls us to see people with the deepest appreciation for the gifts they’ve given us. Some gifts are more immediately obvious than others—the type that come with praise, affection, and genuine esteem.

Others push us, stretch us, test us, and make us wonder if there’s anything to be grateful for at all.

There’s no denying certain relationships are more challenging than others, but through each we have an opportunity to grow and help others do the same. Every relationship teaches us something about loving, trusting, forgiving, setting boundaries, taking care of ourselves, and taking care of each other.

From the people who love you, to the people who challenge you, to the people who support you at work, here’s how to show your gratitude:

Show Gratitude to People Who Love You

1. Share a specific example of something they did for you and how it made a difference in your life.

2. Do something little but thoughtful for them—like clean up after Thanksgiving dinner!

3. Give a long, intimate hug; or if you know they don’t like hugs, stick out your hand for a handshake to cater to their preferences and make them smile.

4. Tell them you’re there if they have anything they want to talk about—and let them know they have your full attention.

5. Give them something of yours that you think they would enjoy, and let them know specifically why you want them to have it.

6. Invite them to do something you know they’ve always wanted to do.

7. Encourage them to try something you know they want to try, but haven’t yet because they’re scared.

8. Offer to do something you know they don’t enjoy doing, like organizing their closet or mowing their lawn.

9. Compliment them on a talent, skill, or strength that you admire.

10. Look them straight in the eyes and say, “You make the world a better place.” Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Mara Petrovsky

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.”  -Jean Baptiste Massieu

Several months ago I was invited by the man I was newly seeing to come to one of his meditation classes. He’d been going through an incredibly tumultuous and painful time in his personal life; he realized that his family unit, which he had always seen as perfect, was human and flawed. That seemed to break something in his spirit.

He turned to mediation as a source of re-centering himself. In addition to the deep breathing, one of the cornerstones of meditation practice is gratitude—finding at least one thing every day to be thankful for.

He had told me it was a “bring a friend day.” After entering, we saw three other pairs of people and the group leader gathered around a table.

The first pair was two women in their forties. They had been best friends since college and had remained close for over 20 years.

One of them shared how through past illness and family strife her friend had never left her side. They laughed about margarita nights until dawn and how the other always picked up the phone. Where one woman stopped, the other picked up. They were grateful for their cultivated and cared for sisterhood.

The second pair was two older men. They were neighbors and friends who had grown up together. One wanted to share his gratefulness for the other’s steadfast support through his divorce, and for always offering a welcome place for Christmas and Thanksgiving.

He spoke about the difficulties he faced in not being with his children and his appreciation for having his friend to turn to. Face to face he turned to his friend and thanked him for his family’s constant support, for without them he didn’t feel he would have made it.

The third pair was a mother and son. The mother wanted to remind her son how special and important he was, not only to her but to everyone around him. She recognized that his recent past had been marred with difficulties and let downs. She knew he felt broken and hurt; she held his hand as she thanked him for letting her be a support and nurture him. She was grateful to see her son’s smile again.

The last pair was me and the man I’d been seeing for only a couple months. He wanted to appreciate our growing trust and support in each other.

He appreciated that I showed patience in his slow approach to communication and that I encouraged him. He’d had a different experience growing up than I did—my family said everything on their mind the moment they felt it—so it meant the world to me that he wanted to communicate with me, and he acknowledged his gratitude in this way.

The man who was going through so much in his own life took the time to reach out and show me thanks, simply for caring. I was blown away by the unexpected validation.

I’d recently dealt with a series of blows that had left me feeling weak: the passing of a friend, numerous graduate school rejections, and building anxiety towards next life steps. His taking the time to share his gratitude with me pulled me up and opened my eyes. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Roger Horn

“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I heard this story recently while listening to a favorite radio show of mine. It was about this homeless man who was detailing some of his experience with homelessness.

He told stories of sleeping outside in the rain and waiting for hours to get into an overcrowded shelter. He even told a story about another homeless man, who could speak no English, who told him about how he had spent a sleepless night in a trash compactor because he felt safer and was drier than sleeping out on the street.

He didn’t get much sleep however, because all night he kept worrying that someone might press “the button.”

The single story he told that stood out in my mind, however, was the story of the time he was offered the job of house-sitting for a friend.  As you could imagine, the thought of existing somewhere safely, of being sheltered from the weather, of being able to relax on a couch and watch TV was overwhelming for him.

He was excited like a child might be excited before being told that his parents had decided to go out and buy him a brand new bicycle.

There was no doubt that he was thrilled about all these things, and he certainly had a right to be. With all that he was about to experience, however, the thing that he looked forward to the most was sleeping. 

Really? Sleeping? I wondered, how could he be excited about sleeping when he had a house all to himself?

The thing is, sleeping in a warm bed, to most of us, is something we take for granted. Something we don’t ever think about. But, as this man detailed, sleeping is tough when you’re homeless.

You don’t get much sleep when the cold and wet are invading every inch of your body. Most of the time, when you do sleep, you sleep with one eye open for fear of having something stolen, or being attacked.

So when he first fell like a rough heavy stone into the softness of his friend’s bed that first night, all he could do was lay there looking at the dark quiet ceiling and feel grateful. Then he said something that was special to me. Something that resonated inside me like the assertive crisp ring of a bell.  Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Kevin Tyler Smith

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~ Mary Engelbreit

About 10 years ago, I started on a journey any college dropout would embark on to quell the little voices in my head that said, “If you want to be happy, earn good money, and validate your choice of quitting college, you better get moving.”

This epiphany fueled my mission. What was my mission of choice?

Get rich quick schemes. The guy on the TV said it would work so it must be legitimate, right? Needless to say, I dangerously careened out of control in the years to follow with each scheme I bought into.

At rock bottom and nearly bankrupt, I did some serious soul searching sprinkled with a little counseling. I learned I was correlating my level of life satisfaction with the size of my bank account.

At that time, I was not happy with my meager vocation or the person I had become. The wealthy, extraordinary life I longed for was vanishing further out of reach with each passing year.

I didn’t realize it, but I was searching for something I already had. Cloaked before me, right within my immediate reach was a beautiful life worth living. All I had to do was open my eyes and change my perspective.

Change Your Perspective

Maybe you feel like the fire is gone and there’s just nothing exciting in your life. Maybe you’re just plain disheartened with who you have become and the life you are living.

No matter how discontent you might feel, know it’s only temporary. You can choose to change that feeling if you lift your veil of dismay and aim to create clarity about your life and what matters. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” -Buddha

Depending on where you’re from, you may celebrate Thanksgiving today. You might get together with your family over a massive gravy-drenched feast. You might celebrate with a chosen family of friends, with traditional food, vegan fare, or a nontraditional fast food spread.

Regardless of who surrounds you today or what meal you all share together, you’ll likely reflect upon your blessings as we tend to do at this time of year.

You might announce them elocution style as you all take turns at the table; or you might blog about them, tweet them, or simply acknowledge them mentally in a moment of silent gratitude.

There are lots of ways to do this whole appreciation thing, and just as many wonderful things to be grateful for in life.

Today as you take time to acknowledge all the fortunate parts of your circumstances—your health, the food you eat, the freedoms you enjoy, the job that provides for you, and the people you love—I recommend taking some time to appreciate something that often goes unrecognized.

Take some time today to appreciate yourself. Click Here to Read More…

by Amanda Owen

“Appreciation is an excellent thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us, as well.” ~Voltaire

Halloween is the coming attractions preview of the holidays. Those little witches, ghosts, and goblins will soon morph into angels, wise men, and reindeer, and the candy you gave in October will give way to more expensive gift-giving in December.

While the old proverb tells us it is better to give than receive, countless people bemoan the absence of grateful receivers. Thank-you letters seem to be a relic of the past and expressions of gratitude are often drowned out in a sea of complaints about what is wrong with the world.

When you get back nothing or little in response to what you give, it’s natural to feel mystified or even resentful. Interestingly our culture spends a lot of time on the value of giving, while little attention is paid to receiving. Yet, for every giver there is a receiver. And when something is not received well—whether it is candy, a gift or a compliment—we notice!

With a little time left before the holiday season arrives, it’s not too late to strengthen your ability to receive and help your children brush up on their receiving skills. Here are three simple steps that will help you receive as well as you give: Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Some mornings I open my eyes and immediately start thinking about everything I have to do. I don’t notice the sun shining through my blinds.

I don’t imagine all the things that could go right in my day, as Srinivas Rao suggested in the awesome guest post How to Wake up Every Morning on Top of the World.

Instead I immediately hone in on my to-do list and all the mini fires I plan to avoid.

On those days when my mind goes into to defensive pessimism mode—conjuring up everything that could go wrong and creating plans to circumvent those things—it feels imperative to go on that way. Like the stressing and plotting somehow gives me more control over the day ahead.

The irony is that while this type of thinking does nothing to avoid chaos and struggle, which are both inevitable, at least on some level, it actually creates the type of situations I’d prefer to dodge.

A busy, cynical mind is more apt to find problems than solutions.

Since I’ve been meditating in the morning again, I’ve been starting the day on a much more positive note. But I am by no means perfect, and some days I still expect the worst instead of creating the best.

So I’ve started focusing on all the little things that usually go right instead of the big things that could go wrong.

The reality is things could go wrong later, even if I start the day whistling over breakfast while birds and bunnies hover around my patio bistro set. Being positive isn’t a safeguard against the unknown.

It is, however, one of the best ways to fully enjoy the moment and create the next one from a place of peace and empowerment.

With that in mind, I’ve created this list of things that we often take for granted. When you start thinking about everything you can’t control, it’s helpful to remember and appreciate all the little things that work in your favor most days. Click Here to Read More…

by Contributor Celestine Chua

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” ~Cynthia Ozick

How often do you pause to appreciate what you have in life?

When I was young, I sort of took things for granted. I believe many other kids did so, too. After all, we were young and we didn’t know what life could be like on the other side.

One thing we took for granted was education. In my country, it’s compulsory for all kids to go to school, so it was a given. We never thought about how lucky we were to be educated.

Another thing we took for granted was our teachers. We never thought about how lucky we were to have teachers who cared for our growth so much, and poured their heart and soul in their lessons.

Then slowly as I grew up, I began to appreciate things around me more. As I saw more and more of the world out there, I realized all the things I’d been given are not rights, but privileges.

I realized that being literate is a not a right, but a gift. I realized there is a lot of war and violence in the world, and I’m lucky to live in a country where it’s safe and peaceful. I realized there are people out there who don’t have their five senses, and to have mine is a gift. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you make look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

I believe life is in the details. Ongoing small gestures can mean so much more than one grand display of love. Simple pleasures throughout the day can be far more gratifying that one amazing weekend. When you connect the dots between all these little joys, life seems fuller and more satisfying.

I’ve created a list of all the little things that fill me with bliss. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

1. Breakfast in bed. You don’t need someone to bring it to you—just make it and then curl back up with your duvet!

2. Cuddling in bed in the morning. A body pillow isn’t quite the same as someone you love, but sometimes it just feels good to hold something in your arms.

3. A smile from a stranger; give one and you may get one. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~Voltaire

There are a lot of impressive people in the world. Some innovate and invent things that help masses of people. Some use art to tell powerful stories that move viewers to action. Others make the world a better place by being helpful within their own sphere of influence, however small or large it may be.

Those little things define people.

The way your neighbor asks how you’re doing and really listens for the answer. How your coworker supports your ideas, and gives you encouragement to see them through. The way your sister makes your house a better place by staying calm when others seem stressed.

All acts of greatness that affect other people, whether they notice or not.

Noticing is a powerful act.

A compliment rooted in truth creates more than just a smile. It shows someone you see the good in them independent of what they achieve. It tells them they not only matter; they really make a difference. Something we all hope to do.

Tell someone what you see today.  Let them know how simply being them makes a difference in your world. Life looks a lot brighter when you open your eyes to the light in people around you.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

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