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Why Belonging Is So Difficult for Survivors of Domestic Abuse

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” ~Brené Brown

Sitting there watching The Greatest Showman, with tears pouring down my face, I asked myself why does this song, in fact this whole film, make me cry so much? Why does it evoke so much emotion in me?

“I am brave,

I am bruised,

I am who I’m meant to be.

This is ME.”

“Look out cos here I come,

And I’m marching on to the beat I drum,

I’m not scared to be seen,

I make no apologies.

This is ME.”

I …

Why We’re Afraid of Real Connection and Why We Need Deeper Conversations Now

By in Blog, love & relationships

“It’s one of the great paradoxes of the human condition—we ask some variation of the question ‘How are you feeling?’ over and over, which would lead one to assume that we attach some importance to it.  And yet we never expect or desire—or provide—an honest answer.” ~Mark Brackett, Ph.D., Permission to Feel

I used to feel so satisfied if I had made them cry.

Not in a twisted, sadistic way.

I just knew once things went quiet and they felt safe, we could peel back enough layers, the tears would flow, and we could finally get to the truth. The …

How I Healed My Low Self-Worth After Infidelity and Divorce

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“It’s okay to let go of those who couldn’t love you. Those who didn’t know how to. Those who failed to even try. It’s okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead. You’re outgrowing them because you’re growing into you. And that’s more than okay, that’s something to celebrate.” ~Angelica Moone

Once upon a time, I met and fell in love with the man of my dreams. He was the most romantic, loving, amazing person I had ever met and for some reason, he wanted to be with me.

I was …

To the Expectant Mom with a Million Questions and Worries

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Have a little faith in your ability to handle whatever’s coming down the road. Believe that you have the strength and resourcefulness required to tackle whatever challenges come your way. And know that you always have the capacity to make the best of anything. Even if you didn’t want it or ask for it, even if seems scary or hard or unfair, you can make something good of any loss or hardship. You can learn from it, grow from it, help others through it, and maybe even thrive because of it. The future is unknown, but you can know this …

45 Work Self-Care Ideas for Your Physical, Emotional, and Mental Health

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“Self-care equals success. You’re going to be more successful if you take care of yourself and you’re healthy.” ~Beth Behrs

Does your job ever seem to take over your life?

Mine has, more than once, despite some drastic changes to stop it each time.

For twelve years I worked a sixty-hour-a-week consulting job in London, UK. I loved my team, and much of my work, but I wasn’t good at switching off.

Whiplash from a minor car accident initiated a chronic pain condition that grew worse and worse with each passing day.

I didn’t think I was allowed to take …

The Beauty in Her Baldness: Why My Mother Was Still Radiant with Cancer

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Beauty doesn’t come from physical perfection. It comes from the light in our eyes, the spark in our hearts, and the radiance we exude when we’re comfortable enough in our skin to focus less on how we look and more on how we love.” ~Lori Deschene

For as long as I can remember, my mom had long shiny silky black hair down to her knees. It was magical in the way that it attracted people and inspired curiosity and connection.

Everywhere we went, strangers approached her, usually timidly at first with a brief compliment, and then, after receiving her signature …

Not Happy with Your Life? I Changed the Rules and You Can Too

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe. I’m just trying to create a good one for myself.” ~Jim Carrey

If someone had told me years ago I’d one day be serving mushroom mafalda to a former VIP client, I’d have laughed in their face. Not an “I wouldn’t be caught dead doing this” type of cackle; more with an “I haven’t waited tables in twenty-five years, why would I start now?” kind of incredulity.

But it’s true. I’ve gone from defining myself as “Career Girl Sam”—toiling in an industry that was killing me—to a far …

How Our Parents Impact Us: The Childhood Wounds That Shape Our Lives

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“The way we treat our children directly impacts what they believe about themselves.” ~Ariadne Brill

Growing up, I always felt odd. I often wondered what was wrong with me. I compared myself to my friends and always thought they had a better life than me. They had both parents still together, went on family vacations. It was not that I was jealous or bitter, it was just that they seemed to be ‘normal’ and happy. Whatever that means.

I never remember my parents being together. My parents divorced when I was two. I lived with my mother and older …

How Following Someone Else’s Path Can Lead to Depression

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Your anger? It’s telling you where you feel powerless. Your anxiety? It’s telling you that something in your life is off balance. Your fear? It’s telling you what you care about. Your apathy? It’s telling you where you’re overextended and burnt out. Your feelings aren’t random, they are messengers. And if you want to get anywhere, you need to be able to let them speak to you and tell you what you really need.” ~Brianna Wiest

Overcoming depression was one of the hardest yet most rewarding experiences of my life. I didn’t understand it when I first started struggling at …

Want to Change Your Life? Draw the “You” You Want to Be

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“You are not too old and it is not too late.” ~Unknown

In less than a month, I’ll be hitting a major “milestone” birthday. I quit my full-time job six months ago, ending a twenty-plus year career in education, and have spent time thinking about what I want the next chapter of my life to look like. I found myself thinking back to a drawing exercise I did a few years ago that has made such an impact on my being willing to make major changes in my life.

Entering my mid-forties, I had come to a point where something …

5 Important Life Skills I Learned in Grief After My Husband Died

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Even though you want to run. Even when it’s heavy and difficult. Even though you’re not quite sure of the way through. Healing happens by feeling.” ~Dr. Rebecca Ray

When my husband died from terminal brain cancer in 2014, I learned all about deep grief. The kind of grief that plunges you into a valley of pain so vast it takes years to claw your way out. In the beginning, I didn’t want to deal with grief because the pain was too intense. So, I dodged grief …

How Single-Tasking Can Decrease Your Stress and Improve Your Mood

By in Blog, healthy habits

“The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at once.” ~Samuel Smiles

I am a recovering multitasker.

I’m sure you know what multitasking is—it is the performance of more than one task at a time. For me it can look like this: “Watching TV” might include scanning social media on my phone, playing a game on my laptop, and/or doing some knitting or embroidery. Sometimes I switch back and forth between all of those things.

“Writing a blog post” might include doing a load of laundry, including moving it from washer to dryer, or folding …

5 Things to Do When You’re Tired of Pretending to Be Happy

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Happiness is like being cool, the harder you try, the less it is going to happen. So stop trying. Start living.” ~Mark Manson

I am a lucky person. In this crazy pandemic, my entire family and I have made it through in one piece. My husband has been out of work for half of a year and my son’s school has been closed. But I still have a job that can support my family.

I am grateful.

Every day after dealing with crazy deadlines and pressure at work, I go home and see my son’s sweet, cute face.

I am …

Rethinking Masculinity: Why I Want More Than Bachelor Parties and Football

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Patriarchy is the expression of the immature masculine. It is the expression of Boy psychology, and, in part, the shadow—or crazy—side of masculinity. It expresses the stunted masculine, fixated at immature levels.” ~ Robert Moore & Doug Gillette

Seventy eggs, packs of bacon, and multiple types of beer filled the fridge. On the counter lay handles of liquor and energy drinks. The dining table was lined with snacks galore: chips, Cheese-its, popcorn, Oreos, Doritos, and dozens of Fireball nips.

I’ve been to many bachelor parties, and it’s not surprising that health is never a priority. Yet this time, things felt …

Was I An Overachiever or Really Just Trying to Prove My Worth?

By in Blog, change & challenges, work fulfillment

“I spend an insane amount of time wondering if I’m doing it right. At some point I just remind myself that I’m doing my best. That is enough.” ~Myleik Teele

Just one more client. Just one more call. Just one more. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Then, maybe, just maybe, I will feel validated. Worthy. Appreciated.

That’s how success works, right? Everyone has to like you, think you’re amazing, and recognize all of your hard work for you to be successful? I learned the hard way that this is the path to overwhelm, burnout, and a massive anxiety disorder. Because, you have …

How I’ve Stopped Attracting One-Sided Relationships That Leave Me Feeling Empty

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Curiosity will save your soul.” ~Danielle LaPorte

When I was a young girl about age five, my mother volunteered weekly at a nursing home. Because she was a stay-at-home mom, I was required to tag along with her.

While she would wheel all the residents into the front room and sing prayers and read devotionals, I simply couldn’t sit still for 2.5 seconds. I was a busy girl with an agenda. I had people to see and things to do.

Weekly, I would pop in and out of residents’ rooms while mom banged on the piano down the hall. In …

Dear Mom and Dad, Thank You for the Years of Trauma

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“When you finally learn that a person’s behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than you, you learn grace.” ~Allison Aars

I’m writing this to say thank you for the trauma you caused me since I was born. You might be thinking that I’m being sarcastic, but that’s far from the truth.

Let me explain why I have such gratitude for the pain and trauma you created in my life. Also, please understand that I forgive you.

Dad, I want to start with you because you’re no longer living. I know you’re now able to see the …

All It Takes Is One Person to Start a Chain Reaction of Caring and Kindness

By in Blog, love & relationships

“People will never know how far a little kindness can go. You just may start a chain reaction.” ~Rachel Joy Scott

One afternoon a while back, after stepping onboard to a full train car with no available seats, I situated myself in the standing section.

A couple of stops later, two passengers vacated their seats, allowing me the chance to sit. I embraced the opportunity to people-watch. The woman in front of me began chapter four of her book, titled How to Jump for Your Life. The girl next to her alternated between the Tinder app and …

The Many Shades of Support: Everyone Shows Up for Us in Different Ways

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’” ~Brené Brown

What do a pregnancy test, a wheelchair, and an Airbnb have in common? The answer is this story.

In February 2019, one night before I was to get on a flight for my first ever trip to Paris, with my sister and best friend, I took a pregnancy test and it read… positive.

Excited? Worried? Anxious? I was all of the above.

You see, …

Better Help: Affordable Online Therapy, Anywhere in the World

By in Blog, change & challenges, healthy habits, letting go

**This is a sponsored post to introduce you to BetterHelp, a company I highly recommend!

I hear it all the time—”I’m feeling more depressed than ever, and nothing seems to help.”

I see it in blog comments. I read it in forum posts and social media replies. I also get stories like this in my inbox from people who are struggling to find a sense of peace and control in the constant chaos of their lives.

And I empathize with all of them. I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed and stuck, physically and emotionally, and helpless to …