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Search Results for "trust " — 1318 posts

Deconstructing Shame: How to Break Free from Your Past

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“We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can’t use shame to change ourselves or others.” ~Brené Brown

“I don’t deserve to be happy.”

“I’ll never be good enough.”

“I’m not worthy of love.”

Sound familiar?

I hear phrases like this all the time in my work helping women walk through divorce. I heard it for years while I was working in women’s ministry. And it echoes back to me from my own experience. I’ve walked through a lot of broken stories from numerous aching souls.

These phrases all boil down to one core emotion: shame.…

Slow Down and Relax with ZoneOutTV (100 Free Subscriptions!)

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Every now and then you just need to shut off—shut your phone off, shut your brain off, and give yourself a little space to simply be. We all do, especially now.

Let’s face it, it’s been a crazy year, with the pandemic, economic upheaval, and social justice conflicts, not to mention the upcoming election.

It’s always a good idea to create time and space for mindfulness and relaxation, but it’s even more imperative when life gets extra stressful and chaotic.

If you, like me, need a little help unwinding and quieting the voice in your head, I suspect you’ll love …

How to Heal from Gaslighting and Stop Hurting Yourself

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“Gaslighting by parents can extend way into adulthood, but it may have particularly harmed you during your childhood. Children need to learn to trust themselves, and when they’re taught that what they see, hear, or feel isn’t real, that can lead to a lifetime of self-doubt.” ~Suzannah Weiss

Some of us grew up in families where our feelings and what we were experiencing were denied or pushed aside, what some people call “gaslighting.”

What is that? When someone—often our caregivers/parents—sows seeds of doubt in our minds that make us question our own sense of personal truth and reality.…

It’s Time to Stop ‘Fixing’ (Because They Need the Struggle)

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“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~Maya Angelou

I have always been a “fixer.”

I liked to fix people’s problems.

Someone feeling down and out? Let me fix it by trying to take away their pain.

Someone on the wrong life path? Let me fix it to get you back on track.

Someone I love making unhealthy life decisions? Let me fix it so they can be happier.

‘Fixing’ people made me feel good.

It made me feel needed and purposeful.

It made me …

The Anti-Anxiety Techniques That Prepare You for a Crisis

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“You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” ~Dan Millman

One of the paradoxes of learning to cope with anxiety is that it often means you’re prepared for chaos and crisis. When everyone else is thrown by the uncertainty, you’re strangely at home because it is not as far from your day-to-day lived reality as it is to their’s.

I often joke that at a time of crisis, people with anxiety are like early adopters of the iPhone; we’re like “See, this is exactly what I’ve been telling you about!!! It …

When Happiness Hurts: How I Stopped Sabotaging Myself

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“Disneyland is the star, everything else is the supporting role.” ~Walt Disney

“Just having a quick shower, I’ll text you before I leave x”

I’d received that text only ten minutes ago, so what the hell was wrong with me?

There I was standing in my kitchen like a mad woman, having a panic attack. My mind was in a frenzy with thoughts like “Does he even like me?” and “What if he doesn’t show?”  and I was crying uncontrollably. I hated myself for feeling like this. I’d ruined my makeup and gotten myself into a state over nothing.

Half-hour …

Why Presence, Not Time, Is Your Most Important Asset

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“Wherever you are, be there. Lifestyle is not something we do; it is something we experience. And until we learn to be there, we will never master the art of living well.” ~Jim Rohn 

I have been told again and again that our time is our most precious asset. But I disagree.

The blogosphere is filled with tips on time management—how to get more for our time. I am willing to bet my life that you have come across many such tips online yourself.

You have probably even adopted some of them.

I myself am notorious for scouting the internet …

How to Be Your Own Best Friend When You’re Grieving

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“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.” ~Kristen Neff

Your best friend just lost her husband and her mother within five days of one another. Her husband was terminally ill. Her mother was eighty-six. You don’t know how she is going to get through this. You know that she was assuming that after her husband died, she would console herself by spending time with her mother. But that is not how it is going to work out.

Your best …

How to Welcome Uncertainty into Your Life and Release Your Worry

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“Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses toward growth.” ~Celestine Chua

Uncertainty can be the glue for anxiety if you allow it. One thing can snowball into another and soon you are looking at the road ahead, absolutely dumbfounded about which way to go. It shakes us to our core; it disrupts our security, our stable foundation and makes us feel unsettled, even a bit lost.

But can our lives change without uncertainty?

I don’t believe they can.

Two years ago, I found myself wondering: Is this all there is? The road I’ve been on is where I’ll stay; no …

How To Set Boundaries With Your Racist Relatives

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As the Black Lives Matter movement gains traction across the nation and the world, many of us are being called to use the skills we’ve learned to improve ourselves⁠—such as speaking our truth, setting boundaries, and breaking the people-pleasing pattern⁠—to improve our communities, our countries, and our world.

Those of us who are allies are conveniently positioned to have conversations about racial justice with our family members, friends, and coworkers. However, historically, many of us have balked at these conversations out of fear of our own awkwardness, others’ anger, or the possibility of creating rifts in relationships.

In …

How to Survive a Breakup with an Addict and Heal Your Heart

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“The positive cannot exist without the negative.” ~Alan Watts

My heart was empty. It had never felt that empty before. Sometimes I felt a gap gnawing at my chest making everything around me feel like half of a whole. I felt like a piece of me had died.

I painted my childhood bedroom grey that summer, picking out the color carefully after taping paint samples on the wall and pondering them for hours.

The old color gave me a headache; it glowed neon green and looked dirty now from years of feet on the walls. Hidden above the moldings, I …

How to Open Your Eyes and Make the Most of Life

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“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ~Marcel Proust

I was asleep for the first thirty-two years of my life. I was jolted awake when my daughter was born unable to sustain her own breath.

I sat beside her in the NICU helplessly every day for three months, unable to hold or feed her due to her fragility. I watched as she endured two surgeries before six weeks of age.

She was diagnosed with a rare muscular disease that required significant medical intervention and around-the-clock nursing care. In those first few …

How to Gently Coax Yourself Out of Your Comfort Zone

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“Everything you ever wanted is one step outside your comfort zone.” ~Unknown

We’ve all seen this quote or similar ones. All the magic, growth, and transformation seem to happen there. Not everything that happens outside the comfort zone is magical though. So, when we go wandering, leaving the safe shores, we also need to be realistic and aware that mixed in with the good, there’s also potential pain and discomfort waiting for us.

Being aware of this, how can we still motivate ourselves to try something new and to step outside our comfort zone?

On the one hand, I …

What You Need to Know Before You Start or Quit Meditating

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“Many paths lead from the foot of the mountain, but at the peak we all gaze at the single bright moon.” ~Ikkyu

I was the kid who didn’t like to sleep. In nursery school, I would pretend to be asleep at nap time, while the other kids were sleeping. I’ve always thought life was full of exciting things to explore and learn, and I didn’t want to sleep through it.

So, it shouldn’t surprise you that traditional meditation didn’t sit well with me (pun intended). I remember my Buddhist grandmother chanting and meditating twice a day. Yet I never had …

How to Avoid a Soul-Crushing Life Crisis

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“Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an unbelievable breakthrough.” ~Unknown

I had hit rock bottom.

Now that means different things to different people, so let me explain what my rock bottom meant.

I’ll start with my physical health. I was underweight, about twenty-five pounds. My face looked gaunt and scrawny.

I was hypertensive, even though I was eating a healthy diet. I also had severe eczema. The itching was so bad that I woke up in the middle of the night with my legs covered in blood from the scratching.

The only thing that helped make the …

Giveaway: Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal – A Tool to Calm Your Mind

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THE WINNERS HAVE BEEN CHOSEN! 

Thank you, everyone, for opening your hearts and sharing a piece of yourself and your journey. I am amazed and inspired by all of you, and so grateful that you shared your strength and your stories here.

I wish you all peace, joy, and so much love!

The winners are:

Please send your address to email@tinybuddha.com so I can send you a copy of the Worry Journal!

—

Though life has become a lot less busy for many these days, I suspect a lot of us have incredibly busy …

A Buddhist Chaplain Shares How to Cope with the Pandemic

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

When I decided over two years ago to become a Buddhist Chaplain, I could’ve never dreamed that I would be experiencing our current pandemic crisis.

I chose to become a Buddhist Chaplain after I lost my son in 2010. The experience of losing a child forever changed how I related to the world and how I relate to grief, suffering, and compassion.

One of the most profound lessons I learned about grief is that it doesn’t have to follow the …

What Hurts Us the Most in Unhealthy and Unloving Relationships

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“Once we make our relationship choices in an adult way, a prospective partner who is unavailable, nonreciprocal, or not open to processing feelings and issues, becomes, by these very facts, unappealing. Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.” ~David Ricco

One thing I particularly love is caring about someone and loving them. Being able to do so gives me a great sense of connection, satisfaction, and purpose. It’s fulfilling, life-enhancing, and simply feels wonderful.

All my life I’ve chased relationships so that I could get the love I need. …

How to Successfully Cope with a Crisis Using Surrender

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti

The scent of sanitizer once again pervades my home. And as much as I am grateful for it, every time I use it, that astringent, alcoholic smell takes me straight back to the out-patient chemo ward at the hospital.

It’s been nearly seven years since I was a fortnightly visitor there, but the sanitizer and masks make me feel like I’m in a weird …

When You Don’t Like Being Nice: What to Do Instead

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“Don’t trade your authenticity for approval.” ~Unknown

As a nice person, I am often conflicted because sometimes I don’t enjoy being nice. Sometimes I act nice out of moral obligation or because I’m trying to be consistent with my perceived identity.

Do you view yourself as “nice”? Do others describe you as “nice”? Do you always enjoy being “nice”? If you are unsure how you are perceived by others, ask friends and family to describe you.

I’ve been told how nice I am all my life, by family, friends, coworkers, and even bosses. It was a huge part of my …