Where You’re Headed
How I Stopped Living a Sad, Frustrating, Disappointing Life
“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” ~C. JoyBell C.
There I was lying on my sister’s couch, which had doubled as my bed. I had hit my rock bottom. I felt depressed, anxious, and disappointed about my situation.
I couldn’t understand where it all went so wrong. How did I end up here?
I was thirty, single, and pretty much homeless. My life wasn’t supposed to end up here. By this age, I was supposed to be married with kids and have a …
How My Gratitude Journal Has Made Life More Fulfilling and Fun
“Be kind. Be thoughtful. Be genuine. But most of all, be thankful.” ~Unknown
Have you ever tried to keep a daily journal?
How long did you last?
I’ve tried to keep one many times in my life, and I have failed every time. The longest I’ve ever kept a journal was for a measly two weeks, in a Google Doc, with my college roommates as a way to keep in touch, before I got bored and stopped.
For the last four months, though, I’ve managed to write in my journal every day. The trick, for me, has been to keep …
The Best Thing to Say to Someone Who Won’t Understand You
“True love is born from understanding.” ~Buddha
I believe one of our strongest desires in life is to feel understood.
We want to know that people see our good intentions and not only get where we’re coming from but get us.
We want to know they see us. They recognize the thoughts, feelings, and struggles that underlie our choices, and they not only empathize but maybe even relate. And maybe they’d do the same thing if they were in our shoes.
Maybe, if they’d been where we’ve been, if they’d seen what we’ve seen, they’d stand right where we …
How to Trust That You’ll Be Okay No Matter What
“The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.” ~Ursula K. Le Guin
Did you play with cootie catchers as a kid?
You picked a number and watched anxiously as your friend counted it out. Open. Close. Open. Close.
You chose a color or picture or word and waited in anticipation as your friend unfolded the flap and read your destiny.
Or how about that MASH game? Mansion, apartment, shack, house?
I played these games with an insatiable desire for all the details.
How is all of this going to play out?
Where …
From the Spouse of a Narcissist: Here’s What You Need to Know
“You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren’t alone.” ~Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children
When I first met my husband, when he had just started medical school at a large university, I thought he was just insecure. I believed that he would grow out of his need to be the center of attention, receive constant validation, and appear correct and knowledgeable about everything.
I believed he would become surer of himself and would …
How Unhealed Childhood Wounds Wreak Havoc in Our Adult Lives
“The emotional wounds and negative patterns of childhood often manifest as mental conflicts, emotional drama, and unexplained pains in adulthood.” ~Unknown
I am a firm believer in making the unconscious conscious. We cannot influence what we don’t know about. We cannot fix when we don’t know what’s wrong.
I made many choices in my life that I wouldn’t have made had I recognized the unconscious motivation behind them, based on my childhood conditioning.
In the past, I beat myself up over my decisions countless times. Now I feel that I needed to make these choices and have these experiences so …
Why Speaking My Truth Is the Cornerstone of My Recovery
“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” ~Kim McMillen
I like to think of my inner self as a curly-haired stick figure who lives inside my chest cavity. Like most inner selves, mine has a simple, childlike quality. She smiles when she’s happy and cries when she’s sad. She has an intuitive sense of what is right and wrong. She speaks her needs simply, the way a young girl might.
My inner …
How to Listen to Your Body and Give It What It Needs
“And I said to my body softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied, ‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’” ~Nayyirah Waheed
For more than half my life, I took care of my body “by the numbers.” Every day, I walked a certain number of steps, no matter how sore, sick, or tired I was. I worked a certain number of hours, often going without sleep in order to finish my work and check off all the numbered items on my to-do list, no matter how my body begged for rest.
For …
Why My Grandfather Was Happy Even When He Was Dying
“It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” ~Tony Robbins
Is there anyone in your past that inspired you to become the person you are today? For me, that was my grandfather, Charlie.
Charlie grew up a poor farm boy in a small South Carolina town and ended up an executive in a Fortune 250 company. He was a poster child for the American dream, and I respected him for it.
But what I admired most was his character. Charlie was always content with life, regardless of his circumstances. …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 